One Day of Winter

[xlxjxbx]

I wonder if the more children she has, or the longer she is a parent, whether she will look back and cringe about what she has shared online?

She is obviously keen to appear to be a gentle parent, child led, extended breastfeeding and so on. I should imagine this will continue when Raven has a sibling - showing how to cope with two. When she reaches school age and they show the home ed stuff. She also offers advice a lot. It feels like she is desperate to let everyone know how she is doing things - a bit like when someone puts on a picture of their kid strapped into their carseat unsafely and a friend then shares an article about car seat safety - that sort of way. I'm not sure who it is she's trying to prove this point to though?

 

[Cubalibra]

She looks like she was going to cry when raven shut the door on her when she was on the toilet. That doesn’t mean she is off to uni love calm down.

Someone has said this previously, there’s a massive difference between gentle parenting/child led and raising an absolute obnoxious s**t. I try to be child led but there are times when I’m not. I am my children’s mother, I have to set boundaries and teach them right or wrong. If parents don’t do that then who will?!?

 

[maytoseptember]

I wonder if the more children she has, or the longer she is a parent, whether she will look back and cringe about what she has shared online?

She is obviously keen to appear to be a gentle parent, child led, extended breastfeeding and so on. I should imagine this will continue when Raven has a sibling - showing how to cope with two. When she reaches school age and they show the home ed stuff. She also offers advice a lot. It feels like she is desperate to let everyone know how she is doing things - a bit like when someone puts on a picture of their kid strapped into their carseat unsafely and a friend then shares an article about car seat safety - that sort of way. I'm not sure who it is she's trying to prove this point to though?

Thsts the thing about this parenting philosophy - it’s bloody hard to do it when you have more than one child. Impossible, actually. There’s no way you can cater to your firstborn’s every whim when you’re newly pregnant and feeling like death / heavily pregnant / caring for a newborn. The people I know who are hardcore crunchy types have tended to have bigger age gaps between baby 1 and 2 (or stopping at one, even) probably for that reason.

And yes, it’s all about being desperate to show other people how you are doing things. It’s all about virtue signalling and validation and patting yourself on the back.

 

[Sorrybutno]

Why does Raven sleep in her clothes every night? She plays in mud all day she must be filthy. Is it just a case of Raven doesnt want to get changed so Raven doesnt have to?

 

[Mumofthree1225]

Why does Raven sleep in her clothes every night? She plays in mud all day she must be filthy. Is it just a case of Raven doesnt want to get changed so Raven doesnt have to?

She doesn’t she have a wash before bed and put pjs on? I don’t give two shits if my kids are kicking off for bath time or pj time (something they have never done as they just get on with the routine) your doing as your bloody told

 

[xlxjxbx]

I get the impression from her 'ask me anything' that they are trying for another baby, or will be soon.

Which I think perhaps then she might realise she has been far more of a permissive parent than a gentle parent. As whilst you can laugh off your child making a mess, or pass off them not listening and you giving in as being child led - it is different once there is a baby/sibling there. What will happen when Raven goes to do something that could hurt the baby and doesn't listen so won't stop?

Again, the sleeping in her clothes is another example of not enforcing boundaries that should be established at a young age, but is yet again shrugged off as it being about being a gentle/child led and relaxed parent.

We practice gentle parenting and are a large family. We have boundaries in place for everyone's benefit. It's why it irks me so much that she is putting herself out there as a gentle parenting advocate, and judging by the ask me anything questions people clearly do watch and are interested in how they do things, yet she's just falling into that stereotype of parent who doesn't have any boundaries and rules that so many people confuse with gentle parenting.

I also don't understand why she (or anyone else who does it) shares so much online. All of the breastfeeding videos might be great for trying to normalise extended breastfeeding (or making her point that she still is or whatever), but this is such a small part of Raven's life - she will be a teenager before she knows it, and this is stuff she's put out online for all to see and take as they please. Imagine being 15 and finding pictures of yourself breastfeeding or naked in the bath at 2.5 on some seedy website.

 

[Buddy2019]

I get the impression from her 'ask me anything' that they are trying for another baby, or will be soon.

Which I think perhaps then she might realise she has been far more of a permissive parent than a gentle parent. As whilst you can laugh off your child making a mess, or pass off them not listening and you giving in as being child led - it is different once there is a baby/sibling there. What will happen when Raven goes to do something that could hurt the baby and doesn't listen so won't stop?

Again, the sleeping in her clothes is another example of not enforcing boundaries that should be established at a young age, but is yet again shrugged off as it being about being a gentle/child led and relaxed parent.

We practice gentle parenting and are a large family. We have boundaries in place for everyone's benefit. It's why it irks me so much that she is putting herself out there as a gentle parenting advocate, and judging by the ask me anything questions people clearly do watch and are interested in how they do things, yet she's just falling into that stereotype of parent who doesn't have any boundaries and rules that so many people confuse with gentle parenting.

I also don't understand why she (or anyone else who does it) shares so much online. All of the breastfeeding videos might be great for trying to normalise extended breastfeeding (or making her point that she still is or whatever), but this is such a small part of Raven's life - she will be a teenager before she knows it, and this is stuff she's put out online for all to see and take as they please. Imagine being 15 and finding pictures of yourself breastfeeding or naked in the bath at 2.5 on some seedy website.

She’s said a few times that she hasn’t been on contraception and are willing for another baby! I think (I could be wrong) she had a miscarriage in the past year too.

 

[Cat_scratches]

Newbie here and I found this post super interesting.
I know her from my misspent Derby youth, extended friendship circle if that makes sense. Not seen her for years, then started following her because of what she was doing for the baby loss community.
Honestly, I think she has some MH problems she's not addressed.
The breastfeeding thing is super creepy - especially that odd face she pulls, it seems like the enjoyment she's getting from it is odd too.
Raven is about 6 months younger than my daughter, she's not been gentle parented, she's been free range parented.
She's not doing Raven any favours by letting her do what ever the hell she wants, I'm a teacher and I've taught kids who have been raised like that, it's definitely not beneficial as they get older

 

[Sorrybutno]

She doesn’t she have a wash before bed and put pjs on? I don’t give two shits if my kids are kicking off for bath time or pj time (something they have never done as they just get on with the routine) your doing as your bloody told

Exactly the same rules in my house!

 

[Noname123]

I’m sorry but I don’t think there is anything good or gentle about not bathing your child and putting them in their pyjamas. It seems lazy to me. Like she can’t be arsed with the hassle of Raven kicking off so she just lets her sleep in her dirty muddy clothes.

 

[Sorrybutno]

Probably the reason she isn't sleeping is because theres no routine. I cant work out why she isnt being put into pjs at the end of the day? A nice warm bath, clean pjs and a story. Raven probably wakes up and thinks its just a nap as she has no way of telling the difference between bed time and day time

 

[Justherewithmypopcorn]

What. On. Earth!?!?!
Is all I can say to her last few stories.

Why on earth is she getting up in the middle of the night and playing games, chasing her round , reading stories etc. That is going to stimulate her brain even more and she will be more awake.
She never going to know that actually its bedtime, not a time to play.
She's almost 3 (month younger than my daughter), if my daughter (rarely) wakes in the night, I go into her bedroom, tell her it's still night time and to get back into bed, give her a cuddle/kiss and tell her to go to sleep. Which she does. She understands she must go back to sleep and she does almost instantly.
She's seriously making a rod for her own back. Dopey mare!
It's just like a vicious cycle, waking up super late due to being up super late, then by the time bedtime comes, she only needs a nap, has that nap until midnight, then is awake playing until 5am, then has her proper sleep until 12pm and the cycle just continues

 

[Noname123]

Why is she filming Raven when she is visibly upset and then goes on to say “I won’t be filing her today because she’s upset”?? She’s really starting to wind me up.

 

[Cat_scratches]

Why is she playing with her in the night? Arghhhhh.
Poor kid has no routine, kids like routine - they like to know what's coming next

 

[Mumofthree1225]

She’s just super shocked that the magic boobie milk didn’t send her instantly back to sleep because of the beautiful and calming sleeping environment she so lovingly created.

 

[Rainbownotts]

I've got a friend like her regarding sleep. Her daughter goes to bed at 11pm every night has no routine she just let's her go to bed whenever. The nursery couldn't handle her behaviour because she would come in so overtired every.

Every day!

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

She's supposedly all about being child led? Then be led by her you silly moo! She's telling you she needs a decent bedtime routine! Bath, pyjamas, story, bed. Insert feed if you think it's necessary.

I also think she needs to be in her own bed in her own room, and to knock the night feeding on the head, because at this stage she doesn't need it through the night. This kid has no way of knowing what's bedtime, what's naptime, or what's playtime.

She should be putting her to bed at roughly the same time every night, and if she gets up she needs to take her back. Not take her downstairs to play and wake her up even more. The woman looks exhausted. I can only assume her husband is still working and is probably knackered too. She's really not doing any of them any favours by letting this continue.

 

[justfortonight]

Newbie here and I found this post super interesting.
I know her from my misspent Derby youth, extended friendship circle if that makes sense. Not seen her for years, then started following her because of what she was doing for the baby loss community.
Honestly, I think she has some MH problems she's not addressed.
The breastfeeding thing is super creepy - especially that odd face she pulls, it seems like the enjoyment she's getting from it is odd too.
Raven is about 6 months younger than my daughter, she's not been gentle parented, she's been free range parented.
She's not doing Raven any favours by letting her do what ever the hell she wants, I'm a teacher and I've taught kids who have been raised like that, it's definitely not beneficial as they get older

I’d love to know what she was like when she was younger, don’t ask me why, this woman fascinates me - probably because she’s the antithesis of me as a mum
What makes you say that about her MH?

 

[tippingpoint]

I’m still not over the fact she took a tit and let Raven look at it when she asked! I’m sorry but you can be as gentle as you like, as attached as you like, as child led as you like but that is just not right. Boundaries are good, boundaries are healthy. We need them for relationships, friendships, strangers, the workplace, school, extra curricular activities. There’s not one culture on this earth I can think of who inspect each other’s tit. So I think that was a time to say to Raven no absolutely not, we don’t do that.

 

[Justherewithmypopcorn]

I’m still not over the fact she took a tit and let Raven look at it when she asked! I’m sorry but you can be as gentle as you like, as attached as you like, as child led as you like but that is just not right. Boundaries are good, boundaries are healthy. We need them for relationships, friendships, strangers, the workplace, school, extra curricular activities. There’s not one culture on this earth I can think of who inspect each other’s tit. So I think that was a time to say to Raven no absolutely not, we don’t do that.

Omg she did not ?????