One Day of Winter #3 Queen Raven still ruling the roost.... even the Pea has reproduced.

[emme1122]

Does everyone remember that she filmed herself in labour all strapped up with monitors and posted it on insta with Raven? Did she do anything similar with Ember?

If I remember correctly I think she said she was maybe in slow labour then a post announcing baby E’s arrival. Wham bam thank you mam.

8 grid posts since her arrival and only featured alone on 3. I agree with everything that’s been said here, Nicola seems so detached from the baby, it’s super sad to see even as a total bystander. I cannot imagine the pain they went through losing W but you’d think she’d treat all her children the same but you can see a clear difference between R and E.

 

[justfortonight]

@sunchaser19

If you are comfortable to say, I know you don’t want to compromise your friend too much - with what you know about Nicola, why do you think she won’t seek help when she’s so clearly struggling with a mental illness?

I’ve suffered PND and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Do the people in her life see that she needs some help? Have they tried to tell her so?

 

[EmilyChambers]

Even the birth story isn't loving and references Raven more than Ember

I nearly fell asleep reading it. It reads like someone whose had to write a few paragraphs for homework and left it till the last minute.

 

[HAB88]

By labelling her parenting style and trying to define every single aspect of her parenting choice, she has boxed herself into a situation that she cannot get out of because she has not allowed herself the flexibility that comes with actually raising a child(ren).

Our hypothetical, fantasy children are SO well behaved aren't they. Our made up scenarios all work out perfectly and put other non-worthy parents to shame. Then you actually give birth to them and it all goes out of the window because children are human beings with free will!

Not all parenting tactics will work for your child/family/lifestyle. You have your principles/values/rules that are important but for a lot of it, you are flying by the seat of your pants!

I wish this was explained to parents more, then there wouldn't be half as much stress and guilt.

The fact she will not listen to those around her, including her husband and children's father by the sounds of it, is disturbing.

 

[maytoseptember]

By labelling her parenting style and trying to define every single aspect of her parenting choice, she has boxed herself into a situation that she cannot get out of because she has not allowed herself the flexibility that comes with actually raising a child(ren).

Exactly! She’s so desperate to nail gentle parenting, to nail attachment parenting, to do “natural term” breastfeeding and now she’s fucked. She now feels like she can’t backtrack because it’s central to her identity. It’s in her Instagram bio FFS.

“I wish I’d reduced Raven’s breastfeeding to bedtime only” - you still can!

“The baby wakes up Raven when she cries at night” - NO tit.

The picture she’s painted of sitting there in the wee small hours, knackered and with two kids hanging off her nipples... it makes me want to cry. She thought she’d be able to brag about tandem feeding. “It just works for our family!”

 

[Booboothefool]

I went back and looked at Raven's birth story and the posts from when she was newborn, and the difference is unreal. Poor Ember, nothing has been special for her. She's her own beautiful little person and she deserves to be celebrated and loved for HER.
I've not navigated through pregnancy after loss yet, so I don't know exactly how she feels, but my goodness if I was acting how P is at the moment I'd seek help or want someone to step in if I couldn't see it myself.
Ember doesn't deserve this.

 

[Peanut0205]

She really is special...

I would put money on Ember being the one that actually starts the night with Dean but she knows everyone would (rightly) judge her for saying that.

 

[Herefortheteaonly]

Can’t help but think Dean and Ember are just extras in the P and R show ... don’t understand why she went on to have another baby, it’s quite evident that the only reason was to give Raven a sibling and I personally think even that is something she now regrets doing!

She should have not only prepared R for E’s arrival, she should have prepared herself as well and been realistic about her expectations.

 

[EmilyChambers]

By labelling her parenting style and trying to define every single aspect of her parenting choice, she has boxed herself into a situation that she cannot get out of because she has not allowed herself the flexibility that comes with actually raising a child(ren).

Our hypothetical, fantasy children are SO well behaved aren't they. Our made up scenarios all work out perfectly and put other non-worthy parents to shame. Then you actually give birth to them and it all goes out of the window because children are human beings with free will!

Not all parenting tactics will work for your child/family/lifestyle. You have your principles/values/rules that are important but for a lot of it, you are flying by the seat of your pants!

I wish this was explained to parents more, then there wouldn't be half as much stress and guilt.

The fact she will not listen to those around her, including her husband and children's father by the sounds of it, is disturbing.

She hasn't boxed herself in with the term at all,theres nothing wrong with the label she's giving the parenting style

What she has done wrong is taken it to the very extreme which was doable for 1 child that was compliant. However, she's still acting like she has only 1 compliant child and she can't work out how to gentle parent both of them. Because she's taken it to the extreme, she now can't discipline or use the word no with Raven so Ember will suffer.

Hitting and biting teachers and children at nursery, hitting at home because she can't have exclusive access to the boob, Dean not allowed in any room that Raven is in because Raven doesn't like it, scared to turn on her back on Raven of a night time incase it breaks their bond (presumably turns her back on a newborn baby instead)

Fantastic Parenting Nicola, you must be so proud

Imagine letting your child get to the age of 3.5 years and never laying down boundaries or routines?!

She won't manage as Ember gets older as she can't discipline her as it's against her ethos, she doesn't even believe the nursery should have disciplined Raven for hitting and biting and she won't put boundaries in place for Raven as she's scared of breaking the bond.

If I was Dean, I'd take Ember and my hat and leave. Give at least one of the children a fighting chance

I follow someone else on insta whose just had a baby before Nicola and they also have a 3 year old. Her photos and stories show lots of their 3 year old kissing the baby and posing for photos and trying to give the baby toys and of the child singing to the baby.

I've seen nothing of Raven with Ember, other than her first day home from hospital.

And the walls are full of Winter and Raven photos. Be interesting to see if any Ember ones make it up!

 

[Crazymum]

As an educated person that worked in a school with 6 kids I’m going to say Pea get in the bin. You are damaging your children. You are the one with issues.

 

[sunchaser19]

@sunchaser19

If you are comfortable to say, I know you don’t want to compromise your friend too much - with what you know about Nicola, why do you think she won’t seek help when she’s so clearly struggling with a mental illness?

I’ve suffered PND and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Do the people in her life see that she needs some help? Have they tried to tell her so?

She thinks she’s right. She knows she’s struggling, but she doesn’t want to change or adapt anything because that’s what her plan was and she wants to stick to it. She also doesn’t want to upset R by changing anything for her. Stubborn stubborn stubborn. Not willing to say “I got it wrong” which to me is really a important trait to show your children. Admitting when you’re wrong and then changing things accordingly.
From what I know everyone close to her has tried/offered to help. Constantly offer advice and tell her she needs to look after herself more. She brushes it off. If family and friends try and be a bit firmer (not sure that’s the right word perhaps) she backs off and doesn’t talk to them. So they have to tread on egg shells round her all the time.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

She needs to get that kid off the table, or her next "crying into the camera" story is going to be filmed in the waiting room of her local A&E department.

Do we think she wipes the table between Raven rolling around on it in the same muddy clothes she wore to the park, and them eating a meal?

 

[emme1122]

She thinks she’s right. She knows she’s struggling, but she doesn’t want to change or adapt anything because that’s what her plan was and she wants to stick to it. She also doesn’t want to upset R by changing anything for her. Stubborn stubborn stubborn. Not willing to say “I got it wrong” which to me is really a important trait to show your children. Admitting when you’re wrong and then changing things accordingly.
From what I know everyone close to her has tried/offered to help. Constantly offer advice and tell her she needs to look after herself more. She brushes it off. If family and friends try and be a bit firmer (not sure that’s the right word perhaps) she backs off and doesn’t talk to them. So they have to tread on egg shells round her all the time.

Making a rod for her own back. I am very unsympathetic if she is refusing help if it’s been offered in abundance. Her way or no way it seems. Can she not see that R will still love her if she refuses her things? Can she not see that R will still love her if she accepts help? It’s as though she’s scared of changing anything to do with R even if that means her relationship with husband and newborn baby daughter suffers. She is going to end up being a very lonely person.

 

[missmarmighty]

I wouldn’t class what she’s doing as parenting at all. I think it’s disgusting that they can’t sit together as a family because Pea allows raven to dictate to Dean. I would never stand for this and it’s entirely unmanageable as a family. If she didn’t worry so much about what people thought of her she could turn their family life around in a matter of weeks. But she’s too selfish to do that.

 

[AfroCircus]

I was looking through her old photos and found something interesting. Raven has a cousin almost the same age as her. There is a photo of the two babies with a caption about how they're going to have so much fun together. The SIL still follows P, P doesn't follow back. No reference to each other in years. Perhaps P was triggered by some parenting choice and tried to passive aggressively gift a Sarah bullshit Smith book?

Two recent Insta likes - a post offended by a bottle brand talking about BF (because God forbid a baby have a bottle?), the second one speaks for itself I think!

 

[missmarmighty]

I was looking through her old photos and found something interesting. Raven has a cousin almost the same age as her. There is a photo of the two babies with a caption about how they're going to have so much fun together. The SIL still follows P, P doesn't follow back. No reference to each other in years. Perhaps P was triggered by some parenting choice and tried to passive aggressively gift a Sarah bullshit Smith book?

Two recent Insta likes - a post offended by a bottle brand talking about BF (because God forbid a baby have a bottle?), the second one speaks for itself I think!

While I agree that how we parent our children in the early stages matters (what moron would think that it didn’t, surely just common sense) other than that these posts seem full of the same bullshit as Pea. They’re so blind to the fact that not all mothers can breast feed. I physically do not produce milk, what would they have me do? Not have children? duck them. I think people that need to lead and moulded so heavily in life perhaps shouldn’t have children.

While I agree that how we parent our children in the early stages matters (what moron would think that it didn’t, surely just common sense) other than that these posts seem full of the same bullshit as Pea. They’re so blind to the fact that not all mothers can breast feed. I physically do not produce milk, what would they have me do? Not have children? duck them. I think people that need to lead and moulded so heavily in life perhaps shouldn’t have children.

I notice you mention her sister in law but she also used to be really close to her brother. He’s a nice guy too. It’s been a long time (even pre-covid) since we’ve seen any posts or stories with him in too.

While I agree that how we parent our children in the early stages matters (what moron would think that it didn’t, surely just common sense) other than that these posts seem full of the same bullshit as Pea. They’re so blind to the fact that not all mothers can breast feed. I physically do not produce milk, what would they have me do? Not have children? duck them. I think people that need to lead and moulded so heavily in life perhaps shouldn’t have children.



I notice you mention her sister in law but she also used to be really close to her brother. He’s a nice guy too. It’s been a long time (even pre-covid) since we’ve seen any posts or stories with him in too.

@sunchaser19 do you know anything about this?

 

[Booboothefool]

Two recent Insta likes - a post offended by a bottle brand talking about BF (because God forbid a baby have a bottle?)

Did she not say she was considering expressing a bottle for Ember so grandma or Dean could feed her now and then? Where exactly does she think that milk will be fed from? An organic wooden bottle made by trees that were planted by gentle mothers?!

 

[TheLastLolo]

Did she not say she was considering expressing a bottle for Ember so grandma or Dean could feed her now and then? Where exactly does she think that milk will be fed from? An organic wooden bottle made by trees that were planted by gentle mothers?!

A wooden bottle made me think of Shrek ogre baby

 

[sunchaser19]

While I agree that how we parent our children in the early stages matters (what moron would think that it didn’t, surely just common sense) other than that these posts seem full of the same bullshit as Pea. They’re so blind to the fact that not all mothers can breast feed. I physically do not produce milk, what would they have me do? Not have children? duck them. I think people that need to lead and moulded so heavily in life perhaps shouldn’t have children.



I notice you mention her sister in law but she also used to be really close to her brother. He’s a nice guy too. It’s been a long time (even pre-covid) since we’ve seen any posts or stories with him in too.



@sunchaser19 do you know anything about this?

I’ve not heard anything at all about brother! Nothing has been said . I know she’s lost a few friendships over the last 2-3 years because she’s very 1 sided. The friendship relies on the other person making the effort, not her. As you all know she rubbed someone at work up the wrong way with her Facebook post about schools. Oh and it hasn’t gone unnoticed at work that her Instagram is open with her nipples out constantly either. Think they’ve had words there. But she’s still open and still getting her boobs out every day, so she hasn’t listened to them ..... shock horror!!

 

[missmarmighty]

I’ve not heard anything at all about brother! Nothing has been said . I know she’s lost a few friendships over the last 2-3 years because she’s very 1 sided. The friendship relies on the other person making the effort, not her. As you all know she rubbed someone at work up the wrong way with her Facebook post about schools. Oh and it hasn’t gone unnoticed at work that her Instagram is open with her nipples out constantly either. Think they’ve had words there. But she’s still open and still getting her boobs out every day, so she hasn’t listened to them ..... shock horror!!

Thanks just realised he used to be all over her insta etc! I’m really not surprised that the full on nudity hasn’t gone unnoticed. Would be a different matter if her insta was private but her bazookas are out for the world to see. Makes me cringe to see nip. I personally just find it quite a private thing. Breastfeeding of not!