Odd Neighbours / Neighbour Problems

[mochibean]

I used to live in a flat underneath the strangest man I’ve ever encountered.
He would smoke weed and drink every night. His living area was above my bedroom and when he was completely wasted (pretty much every night), you would hear him singing Radiohead - creep at the top of his voice. Something about it was really sinister.
He also used to have really loud wanks a couple of nights a week...you would hear him groan and say “that’s better” when he finished. Definitely wanking as he was a loner.

ffs

 

[Cereal Killer]

ffs

After a couple of months living there I started wearing earplugs to sleep

 

[Devondoll]

We moved my nan to a council bungalow in our town a few months ago, it was a mutual exchange. They told us they didn't get on with their next door neighbour, but we assumed it was personal. My nan was so happy to have moved and glad she had done it. 4 months later, she gets complaints almost daily and accusations from this neighbour. The most stupid and ridiculous complaints, and this is the 3rd person this woman has done this too. My nan has now started having panic attacks and has temporarily moved into my parents home as its getting too much for her being in her own property. I'm furious, heartbroken, angry. She's 81 and wonderful. Nothing happened to start this off, one minute next door was popping round with food (my nan is struggling with her mobility) the next she's complaining non stop.

 

[Bingewatcher92]

My sister-in-law lives on a terraced street with no front gardens, the type that you have the front door opening directly onto the public pavement. Her neighbours have a ring camera plus motion sensing lights and asked her to please ask her guests (this was pre-pandemic obvs) to either cross to the other side or approach from the other end of the street because someone merely walking past on the pavement triggers their camera and lights. Not sure why they didn’t predict this when they set it all up. Anything bigger than a small car driving past also sets at least the bloody lights off.

i have a ring doorbell and it does pick up everything but I knew and expected it to I can’t believe they actually asked her to tell people to do this. Some people think they own the road lol

 

[Kim Mild]

Does anyone else think this is weird?

We have a neighbour who has always been nasty to us, and have had problems with her such as criminal damage to our garden, harassment and had family of hers saying horrible things about us so we can overhear in our garden, plus tells other neighbours complete lies about us.
We thought it had calmed down a bit but now shes taken to coming out into her garden whenever we are in ours and she stands and stares at us through the fence (there are little gaps in the slats, we can see her but not sure she realises this), and listens to us talking. Now it's getting to be every time we're out there. I know it sounds as if she has a sad little life (she does) but i'm really getting disturbed by it, we spend a lot of time in the garden as we all have disabilities but i'm getting to the stage where I don't want to be out there.. another neighbour said it sounds like shes stalking us. Is it me being too het up over it, or would you find it weird?

I'd spray loads of body spray/ hair spray when standing in the garden so the fumes got her . I'd be double covid masked with a bottle of lynx Africa everytime I went out .

Then I'd get a roll of bamboo/ reeds to cover the inside of my side of the fence. .

Or wait til march 29 and invite a someone with dog to bark at her .

 

[Escapist]

Does anyone else think this is weird?

We have a neighbour who has always been nasty to us, and have had problems with her such as criminal damage to our garden, harassment and had family of hers saying horrible things about us so we can overhear in our garden, plus tells other neighbours complete lies about us.
We thought it had calmed down a bit but now shes taken to coming out into her garden whenever we are in ours and she stands and stares at us through the fence (there are little gaps in the slats, we can see her but not sure she realises this), and listens to us talking. Now it's getting to be every time we're out there. I know it sounds as if she has a sad little life (she does) but i'm really getting disturbed by it, we spend a lot of time in the garden as we all have disabilities but i'm getting to the stage where I don't want to be out there.. another neighbour said it sounds like shes stalking us. Is it me being too het up over it, or would you find it weird?

Yes that would definitely make me feel on edge and uncomfortable. If you can afford to, I would invest in privacy screens to put infront of your fence so she can't see through the gaps. You shouldn't have too but that's what I would do just to avoid confrontation with her. It does sound like she might have some issues.

 

[Raininvain]

We moved my nan to a council bungalow in our town a few months ago, it was a mutual exchange. They told us they didn't get on with their next door neighbour, but we assumed it was personal. My nan was so happy to have moved and glad she had done it. 4 months later, she gets complaints almost daily and accusations from this neighbour. The most stupid and ridiculous complaints, and this is the 3rd person this woman has done this too. My nan has now started having panic attacks and has temporarily moved into my parents home as its getting too much for her being in her own property. I'm furious, heartbroken, angry. She's 81 and wonderful. Nothing happened to start this off, one minute next door was popping round with food (my nan is struggling with her mobility) the next she's complaining non stop.

Thats harassment, what I would do is contact the Police and get them to go round and talk to the neighbour. Thats what I did when the neighbour screamed at me a few times and its now all stopped. It sounds like the neighbour might have mental health issues/dementia or something?. If its the council you need to get onto them as well.x

 

[Sunshine&clouds]

Does anyone else think this is weird?

We have a neighbour who has always been nasty to us, and have had problems with her such as criminal damage to our garden, harassment and had family of hers saying horrible things about us so we can overhear in our garden, plus tells other neighbours complete lies about us.
We thought it had calmed down a bit but now shes taken to coming out into her garden whenever we are in ours and she stands and stares at us through the fence (there are little gaps in the slats, we can see her but not sure she realises this), and listens to us talking. Now it's getting to be every time we're out there. I know it sounds as if she has a sad little life (she does) but i'm really getting disturbed by it, we spend a lot of time in the garden as we all have disabilities but i'm getting to the stage where I don't want to be out there.. another neighbour said it sounds like shes stalking us. Is it me being too het up over it, or would you find it weird?

I'd take your phone/camera and a pen and notebook out in the garden with you and log any problems you have with her. Take photos of her looking at you. I'd also have a loud discussion about contacting the council/police about her behaviour and that both have advised you to keep a log of all incident and photos of her staring at you through the fence, causing criminal damage and spreading malicious lies. I'd also put this in writing and post it through her letterbox.

Once you have some photos of her doing this, I'd get some of the bamboo type roll stuff and cover the fence with that. In your log note that you have been forced into extra expenditure because of her harassment.

If you have any more problems do contact the council. They can help.

 

[Clickbait]

I would just be concerned that taking photos, videos etc. is just going to inflame what is already a volatile situation. This person is already behaving in an aggressive manner.

The issue you have is that aside from the criminal damage and potentially the harassment which I’m guessing she wasn’t prosecuted for, she’s not doing anything illegal. She has a right to be in her garden as you do to be in yours. Even if you know she’s doing it to annoy you, that is very difficult to prove.

If you don’t feel able to speak to her directly, you could post a note through her door or perhaps speak to a neighbour to try and establish what the issue is?

 

[Tree_]

I'd personally just look through the gap and ask her why she's always staring at you. She probably thrives off thinking that you're never going to stand up to her

 

[Devondoll]

Thats harassment, what I would do is contact the Police and get them to go round and talk to the neighbour. Thats what I did when the neighbour screamed at me a few times and its now all stopped. It sounds like the neighbour might have mental health issues/dementia or something?. If its the council you need to get onto them as well.x

We've been onto the council and they haven't even acknowledged our complaints. She literally complains because my nan talks to a neighbour on the path outside. She takes photos, she records, she monitors coming and goings. We've involved the local Councillor, complained about her like she does my nan, although we don't typically like complaining but we're playing her at her own game. She tries to provoke a reaction but we know that and ignore her. She also does this to her elderly lady the other side. She's vile but she's messed with the wrong lady.

 

[SoulDestroyer]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I know she’s every right to be in her garden, but she’s very predictable - as soon as we start making a noise (normal noise like talking or a bin lid bangs) she’s straight out there. It happens far too often for it to be a coincidence. She’s done it six times in the past two days - just stands and watches.

I have lined up a song on my phone to play at full blast when I see her. I will also go and stare at her. We all think she’s waiting for us to do something that she has valid reason to complain about but it isn’t going to happen.

we have spent 5 years doing the garden and to have to put up hedges or anything would completely change the garden - not to mention the expense and the ongoing maintenance of it, it’s not what we want

the council won’t help as we are in a private home

the police have been twice, spoken to her once. They say it’s not enough to just make a diary that we have to log everything with them, but then when I do that on 101 they make me feel a fool for reporting minor incidents even though it’s a pattern of behaviour. I do have a large diary of incidents though, photos and CCTV but still have trouble getting them to realise that it is constant harassment.

We’ve tried letters but they are ignored. I feel like she’s laughing at us really. We’ve always said that we just want her to leave us alone.

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I know she’s every right to be in her garden, but she’s very predictable - as soon as we start making a noise (normal noise like talking or a bin lid bangs) she’s straight out there. It happens far too often for it to be a coincidence. She’s done it six times in the past two days - just stands and watches.

I have lined up a song on my phone to play at full blast when I see her.

You should play this one.

 

[SoulDestroyer]

You should play this one.

Haha! I will do that.

 

[Savewaterdrinkgin]

I think I might have posted before about my awful neighbours. They are constantly banging on walls, doors slamming, tv and music on max volume, dog barking, you name it they do it. It went quiet for a while but now they are back to it much worse than before. It gives me panic and anxiety attacks every time it starts. I know it’s deliberate as I complained about them but environmental health refused to do anything so they took this as the green light to do whatever they like. If we go in our garden they come out too and encourage the dog to bark and growl at us, if my children play or laugh they put on loud music (only with my 2 quiet children not their neighbours the other side with 5 very loud children I can hear through 3 walls), if I’m cooking they decide they’ll cook too but bang everything they can and slam cupboard doors aggressively, their tv sound bar is switched on when I go to bed so it vibrates the bass through my bedroom wall. I am trying to move house but I am at the end of my tether now. We never get any sleep as they’ll randomly pound on the wall at 3am and 5am to wake my children then laugh. I feel bullied in my own home, we haven’t done anything to retaliate or cause them to treat us like this but I end up feeling like I need to walk on eggshells as they have convinced everyone and themselves they’re the victims. The neighbours have sided with them and if I do anything or call the police they will do something much worse. I’m a single mum with no support so I haven’t got any one to back me up and they know this. I can’t report it again as EH or the council/landlord have refused to do anything and I can’t afford soundproofing. Any ideas before I’m thrown into prison for doing something illegal!?

 

[1001 others]

I think I might have posted before about my awful neighbours. They are constantly banging on walls, doors slamming, tv and music on max volume, dog barking, you name it they do it. It went quiet for a while but now they are back to it much worse than before. It gives me panic and anxiety attacks every time it starts. I know it’s deliberate as I complained about them but environmental health refused to do anything so they took this as the green light to do whatever they like. If we go in our garden they come out too and encourage the dog to bark and growl at us, if my children play or laugh they put on loud music (only with my 2 quiet children not their neighbours the other side with 5 very loud children I can hear through 3 walls), if I’m cooking they decide they’ll cook too but bang everything they can and slam cupboard doors aggressively, their tv sound bar is switched on when I go to bed so it vibrates the bass through my bedroom wall. I am trying to move house but I am at the end of my tether now. We never get any sleep as they’ll randomly pound on the wall at 3am and 5am to wake my children then laugh. I feel bullied in my own home, we haven’t done anything to retaliate or cause them to treat us like this but I end up feeling like I need to walk on eggshells as they have convinced everyone and themselves they’re the victims. The neighbours have sided with them and if I do anything or call the police they will do something much worse. I’m a single mum with no support so I haven’t got any one to back me up and they know this. I can’t report it again as EH or the council/landlord have refused to do anything and I can’t afford soundproofing. Any ideas before I’m thrown into prison for doing something illegal!?

That sounds absolutely awful. Nobody should have to put up with that sort of carry-on.

Why have the neighbours sided with them - are they worried about getting on their wrong side?

In all honesty, I'd look to move (which you've mentioned you are trying to do).

 

[Savewaterdrinkgin]

I have finally found a house to move to but it isn’t the area I want so I feel really upset about having to accept it just to escape these bullies. The neighbours love them and think they are a nice couple, they have all been in each other’s pockets for years as it’s mostly a road of 50+ Year olds so they aren’t aware of what they’re like behind closed doors. Plus I assume they have made up lies about us so they get the sympathy. I would honestly expect better from people of this age, all I can base it on is that they have old fashioned views and aren’t happy with an unmarried single mother living on their street . They obviously don’t like that they were called out on their anti social behaviour because the previous family didn’t say anything and they were bullied out too. I couldn’t imagine being such a nasty person that I deliberately upset neighbours and make them depressed in their own home, but they get a lot of joy out of it.

 

[Escapist]

I have finally found a house to move to but it isn’t the area I want so I feel really upset about having to accept it just to escape these bullies. The neighbours love them and think they are a nice couple, they have all been in each other’s pockets for years as it’s mostly a road of 50+ Year olds so they aren’t aware of what they’re like behind closed doors. Plus I assume they have made up lies about us so they get the sympathy. I would honestly expect better from people of this age, all I can base it on is that they have old fashioned views and aren’t happy with an unmarried single mother living on their street . They obviously don’t like that they were called out on their anti social behaviour because the previous family didn’t say anything and they were bullied out too. I couldn’t imagine being such a nasty person that I deliberately upset neighbours and make them depressed in their own home, but they get a lot of joy out of it.

That's horrendous and I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope Karma bites them in the arse!! I thought my neighbours were bad but since I complained they have been better. They still bang on the walls and swear at my kids when they are in the garden but have stopped playing music loudly til 5am!
I fully sympathise having inconsiderate neighbours who deliberately go out of their way to bully and antagonize you really effects your mental health.

If you don't end up moving and the council are refusing to do anything I would contact your local mp and say how their bullying is affecting you and your children's mental health. Keep logs, and recordings of all the anti social behaviour.

 

[Noseynora91]

Has anyone got any advice on how to stop cats shitting in my garden? I do understand that my neighbour can’t stop them but it’s extremely frustrating! I’ve had a lovely vegetable garden for the last few years but can’t now as they dig it up and tit in it. They tit by the kids play area even in the front garden. We’ve tried all sorts of remedies and repellents but getting no where fast! Plus I think the neighbour is a bit of a creep, he started talking to my five year old over the fence, just gives me the creeps!

 

[DCICassieStuart]

Has anyone got any advice on how to stop cats shitting in my garden? I do understand that my neighbour can’t stop them but it’s extremely frustrating! I’ve had a lovely vegetable garden for the last few years but can’t now as they dig it up and tit in it. They tit by the kids play area even in the front garden. We’ve tried all sorts of remedies and repellents but getting no where fast! Plus I think the neighbour is a bit of a creep, he started talking to my five year old over the fence, just gives me the creeps!

Try putting lemon or orange peel or squirting lemon/lime juice around.
It won't harm the cats, but they don't like citrus so won't go near it.

I'm afraid I can't help you on how to repel your creepy neighbour.
I suppose you could always try squirting him with lemon juice too!