The way she keeps saying that she'd rather have half her followers ( I honestly doubt it) is the same way she kept saying how happy she was when she was prancing around the world with Forky, and recently admitted that it was a dark time for her and she was miserable.
I think she's too proud to simply say how she feels, and not being genuine keeps adding up to her acting wacky. Add Lordon to that and his horrible advice he keeps feeding her, I mean yikes.. No wonder her family or actual real life friends never seem to like or comment on her content anymore.