Niomi Smart #53 Still missing JoeJoe, now selling a Dildo

popsicle1471 said:

Someone BRIEFLY catch me up on her?? Last time I even heard of her, she was still with Marcus Butler

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Wow! You have a LOT to catch up on!

I'll give it a shot.

She was engaged to a guy called Dreamy Joe (Woodward) who broke up with her two days after she'd been trying on wedding dresses. She moved onto a guy we call Forky, they got lost in the jungle, and soon after that they were all over. She now pretends he doesn't exist and their relationship never happened. She then ran away to Bali and took up with a dodgy type and possible cult member we call Lordon. Six months in and she's already living with him. We predict a Christmas engagement.

If you want to catch up further, I recommend reading the recaps and most popular posts on every thread. Or check the Wiki.

@Shutterbug99 beauDiful licherally pahfect

Her brainwashing is almost complete. This creep is using her in a disgusting way, she's oblivious (or maybe knows on some level) and I can't imagine her building a healthy life with this horrible guy.
Niomi, people's experiences with contraception are different, bodies are different, you can't pretend your life applies to everyone, you're licherally NOT a guru, or a guide, or any type of authority at all. And your bf is playing you for the fool that you are. Wake up!
Oh, and stop making fun of your followers by making these low effort videos, it's so embarrassing.

Maybe she isn't being fully honest? (Hah, when is she?). I was prescribed the pill as a teen by a doctor in the UK after going in for other reasons but those reasons were related to PCOS. I'm only a couple years older than Niomi and back then (and even now) many doctors saw the pill as a way to "fix" PCOS. (it doesn't but that's a whole other story). So maybe she had symptoms/blood test results consistent with PCOS or some other hormonal imbalance and that's why she got it, not just because she was 16.

That said. Truly terrifying that fucking Jamie is now controlling her content. When had Niomi ever felt the need to discuss her period, her sex life, masturbation, touch her boobs and put them up online?

Does she even know what it’s like to be candid? She couldn’t be more hypocrite and fake. Every word she pronounces is a lie, her life is a lie, and she’s a f*cking fraud. And talk about natural alternatives this is just a shitty clickbait, as usual.

H A P P Y ! So much happy !

Edit : seeing this picture of Niomi, i can't stop laughing (i am so mean)

Well lol that was one of the worst videos I've seen in ages. And I watch the Saccone Jolys

palmer said:

Sorry slight OT -

I feel so stupid you guys. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I am now in the same boat as Niomi. Last week my partner of 6 years came home one night and broke up with me out of the blue. He packed up his bag and left that same night. We had been living together for 5 years and 4 years ago I moved across the world to a foreign country to follow him for his work. He completely blindsided me, he’d never mentioned he had any problems with our relationship until that night. We had also just renewed our lease literally just a few weeks ago, so there was no way I expected this. He said he caught feelings for his colleague. Why do men keep doing this?! The pain is excruciating. Please pray for me that I don’t end up in the same place as Niomi. I don’t know how the hell i’m going to heal from this. This is the biggest shock of my life and it’s pure agony. Will this leave me as fucked up as she still is all these years later?

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You have a great sense of humor and I think that goes a long way in healing. Niomi, as we know, doesn’t have an ounce of it, so she bought a ton of notebooks and crystals to help.

Why is she wearing a baseball cap indoors?! She looks so scruffy since being with Lordon (btw when people call him Jamie I'm like... Who? The forky nickname curse strikes again!)

QueenBW said:

Maybe she isn't being fully honest? (Hah, when is she?). I was prescribed the pill as a teen by a doctor in the UK after going in for other reasons but those reasons were related to PCOS. I'm only a couple years older than Niomi and back then (and even now) many doctors saw the pill as a way to "fix" PCOS. (it doesn't but that's a whole other story). So maybe she had symptoms/blood test results consistent with PCOS or some other hormonal imbalance and that's why she got it, not just because she was 16.

That said. Truly terrifying that fucking Jamie is now controlling her content. When had Niomi ever felt the need to discuss her period, her sex life, masturbation, touch her boobs and put them up online?

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I don’t think she’d ever admit to having a “real” problem. Every “problem” she’s ever revealed was then turned around to be a humble brag. The wrist surgery was from being too active and training too hard. The problems with the pill led her to use “natural” methods which work so magically for her and her all natural body.

I feel like she’s trying to prove that she had sex with Joey. She just never used the opportunity to vaguely reference it before because it didn’t fit in with her prior persona. Now she’s just using Toothy as another way to casually mention she was once in love with Joe.

Ciri said:

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H A P P Y ! So much happy !

Edit : seeing this picture of Niomi, i can't stop laughing (i am so mean)

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When you realize your current boyfriend is not Joe Woodward.

It's was her face when Lordon smiled at her for the first time .

Isn't she a feminist? (womenforwomen stuff) The pill has been one of the greatest tool for women's liberation in the last century. It's widely prescribe to teens because it's a safe, cheap, convenient, reliable and highly effective method of birth control. Sure, it's not perfect and doesn't suit everybody but it's a conversation people should have with their doctors, not with some moronic youtubers.

It’s irresponsible not to caveat this discussion with “this is not medical advice”

they both also come across a bit dim.
Lordon says “see even at 16 you were showing your rebellious and curious side” like he’s giving some sort of deep “life coach” analysis of her. lots of women change contraceptive method until they find the one that works..It’s pretty common. It’s just grosses me out the way he is analysing in the background, there’s something cult like about it.

The natural only obsession is so hypocritical seeing as she has clearly had Botox. I have no issue with any contraception that works for anyone, but they’re acting like this is a ground breaking conversation. Pretty much every woman is aware the pill is hormonal and can have side effects. I don’t really get what the point of the conversation is- she doesn’t even introduce the topic or close off the conversation?

Can you imagine Joe seeing this video and being like ‘yo you only need contraception if you’re having sex ’

I’m sorry but if the “conversation” that they’re having in her newest video is one of the “deep chats” she’s referred to them having (instead of watching tv, lol) then she’s a very dim Nim.
These aren’t chats and this does not sound like a comfortable conversation between a couple. It doesn’t sound like she’s in an interview, it sounds like a therapy session.

Lordon sounds so life-coachy that it makes me think more and more that he’s manipulative.

iz10101 said:

It’s irresponsible not to caveat this discussion with “this is not medical advice”

they both also come across a bit dim.
Lordon says “see even at 16 you were showing your rebellious and curious side” like he’s giving some sort of deep “life coach” analysis of her. lots of women change contraceptive method until they find the one that works..It’s pretty common. It’s just grosses me out the way he is analysing in the background, there’s something cult like about it.

The natural only obsession is so hypocritical seeing as she has clearly had Botox. I have no issue with any contraception that works for anyone, but they’re acting like this is a ground breaking conversation. Pretty much every woman is aware the pill is hormonal and can have side effects. I don’t really get what the point of the conversation is- she doesn’t even introduce the topic or close off the conversation?

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I do not believe unqualified people should get on their socials and give medical or financial advice. Someone might listen to them in a vulnerable moment and it could badly effect them.

I am actually fully creeped out, fucking hell this is actually insane it is actually getting menacing, he is an absolute freak. I feel like she is in a very disturbing spiral of denial and being controlled and manipulated. The vlog was all over the place and very disjointed it is just odd, the vibes are off.

Did I miss instructions for that vlog to snort coke or something so it would all make sense?

Its funny how she started the video with I have never been interviewed in my videos and I immediately thought of this video of Joe interviewing her. I think that with this video Jamie wanted to introduce his helpskills to her audience, but no one is talking about him. If this is a deep chat for them then it means that they are really empty in their heads

QueenBW said:

Truly terrifying that fucking Jamie is now controlling her content. When had Niomi ever felt the need to discuss her period, her sex life, masturbation, touch her boobs and put them up online?

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I'm sure most of it is his idea & also let's not forget Lordon's ex is licherally a SEX COACH and we all know Niomi turned into a wild ~ can't take me anywhere ~ partygirl when Joe started dating Anna. She's just trying to be the type of girl she thinks her current manchild is into.

I've been reading older posts and wow I can’t believe the thing with Charlotte. If it's true what someone who follows Charlotte on insta said (that she might have broken up with her boyfriend) then that makes Niomi look even shittier. Charlotte went above & beyond to help her out after her breakup with Joe & Niomi repays her by labeling her as 'toxic' and cutting her out of her life. She's 100% gonna regret that one day.
Also, if the reason why the friendship ended is because Charlotte tried to warn her about Lordon & his red flags I can totally see Niomi say something like "well you're just jealous 'cause now I finally have a dream man while you're single so you want me to be unhappy like you". It goes along with all the lame/passive-aggressive replies she writes to anyone who dares to criticize her.
Charlotte a toxic friend - I don't buy that for a second, remember when she posted a video of her non-existent ass strolling on a beach and told people to take the video as a sign to live your life to the fullest, some followers told her she's being tone-deaf and the next day she prepared a whole speech how she, as a female content creator, has been BULLIED her entire carrer. Who knows, maybe all Charlotte said was "your hair is looking a bit dry, maybe try some leave-in conditioner" and Niomi decided that's enough to ditch her bestie after more than a decade of friendship.

Anyways, as TSwift would say:


~ at tea time, even Terrina agrees.. ~

Well if he’s pushing these contraception/dildo/sex chats it makes me think nothing has changed and he has the same “sex sells” kind of business mentality as he did 10 years ago.