Niomi Smart #53 Still missing JoeJoe, now selling a Dildo

[curiouscat106]

Someone has definitely said this before but Lordon is the doppelgänger of Kevin from Motherland

 

[laplusheureuse96]

Maybe it’s just me, but I suspect that Niomi may have long felt some growing resentment towards Charlotte. After all, she’s the one who introduced Niomi to Joe, telling her “I’ve found your future husband” - Only for that same man to dump her after proposing marriage, leaving her devastated and lonely. Meanwhile, Charlotte is happy and in a long-term relationship.

That break up was incredibly humiliating for Dimbobs because she’d smugly paraded Joe around her social media for so long. I can imagine that Dimbobs feels Charlotte is to blame because it was her who brought Joe and her together. Adding to this, Charlotte probably voiced concern about Toothy McDonkey which was of course absolutely unacceptable to Niomi NoChin

 

[Coldfeet]

@palmer- having the courage to post that account of what has happened tells us a lot about you.Your partner is a selfish coward and not worthy of you. Everything you thought you knew has shifted and you will have to deal with that, in time.
He wasn't your future.
Don't worry about ending up like Dimbobs- you're smart, empathetic and self aware.
Your future will be better because it's entirely in your hands.

Big hug from me.

 

[irvinelane]

Sorry for mentioning this cringing video again, but what’s going on with his mouth? He also seems to have a scary look in his eyes.

 

[whatsever you]

I’m waiting for the post in a few days of ‘had the most magical Christmas and was made to feel so welcome’ blah blah blah. I think the silence is for her to think she’s in some magical, romantic whirlwind- don’t think it’s to impress Jamie’s family.
equally expecting an engagement photo.

 

[barnetteve]

What's the bet her Mum instigated the birth control at 16, whether directly or indirectly with the doctor, because she had a teen pregnancy and didn't want Niomi in the same situation.

 

[malino_]

A lot of people have said already that they tease mostly because he’s a scammer

Exactly lol. If he seemed like a genuinely good person with a good background, honest career goals etc. the teeth wouldn’t matter at all. But he seems like an absolute twit with a fucked up past & scammer type job. So yes, the donkey will get mocked.

 

[Clover123]

Sorry slight OT -

I feel so stupid you guys. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I am now in the same boat as Niomi. Last week my partner of 6 years came home one night and broke up with me out of the blue. He packed up his bag and left that same night. We had been living together for 5 years and 4 years ago I moved across the world to a foreign country to follow him for his work. He completely blindsided me, he’d never mentioned he had any problems with our relationship until that night. We had also just renewed our lease literally just a few weeks ago, so there was no way I expected this. He said he caught feelings for his colleague. Why do men keep doing this?! The pain is excruciating. Please pray for me that I don’t end up in the same place as Niomi. I don’t know how the hell i’m going to heal from this. This is the biggest shock of my life and it’s pure agony. Will this leave me as fucked up as she still is all these years later?

So sorry to hear this. Like many others, I've been there. In time you will look back and feel very differently about him. Something very similar happened to me and I was told I would see red flags and things I had overlooked- I was adamant he was perfect. It didn't take long to see things differently with the benefit of hindsight. Please take lots of time to yourself and lean on your friends and family all you need. There is no rush to get over this and the longer you take to heal the better you will feel in the long run.

I was told lots of times that people who go through this always come out stronger and go on to better things, and although I completely couldn't see that ever happening at the time, I absolutely did.

Also not that it matters- when guys break off a good relationship for someone else it VERY rarely works out. He will kick himself, because you clearly deserve better and he is an absolute idiot for letting you go. You're going to be so happy this happened in time- just let yourself feel everything and focus on taking care of yourself. Big hugs to you, we are all here if you need us!!

 

[Shutterbug99]

Yeah true, I think I just meant as he has studied and did whatever life coach certification (which isnt cheap to alot of us) he would've picked up tools and techniques but doesn't mean he is any good in practice. Well, the fact you have observed that he is winging it is telling I suppose.

I could be wrong but I don't think he studied anything! From what I know of him he dropped out of uni to run those 'knickers for liquor' club nights, suffered from burnout/ a breakdown, moved home/had to get his dad to bail him out when he lost all his money (do I have this part right?) then moved to Bali where he reinvented himself as a business/life coach. He's nothing but a scammer and Niomi is so desperate for a man she believes his BS, has ditched her best friend since he came along and is probably paying all the rent!

 

[Coldfeet]

I reckon Verity liked Forky because he's a Turkey Teeth Tory like them, and Lordon isn't. There are lots of issues with Lordon but for her family, I suspect class is probably the biggest. He may come from a well-off family but they are Irish. In Surrey, that's a bit like being from the wrong side of the tracks (no offence; that's just how they see it). He doesn't help himself with the Derelicte look, obviously.

Her family are NOT POSH. I grew up in Surrey and my Irish mother lived there from 1953 to 2014. She outclassed the local population in every way- not that I'm biased

 

[Lucia Cornelia Sulla]

Silence no more....
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Wonder if something is being slipped into the smoothie bowls?

why do they both look like 14 year-olds?

also I dont believe she is happy at all, which makes me honestly sad for her

 

[Gymhoned]

I doubt they have split. I think shes coming back with an announcement or just a "well needed" break post. If shes split i genuinely worry for her

 

[phutton44]

I am actually fully creeped out, fucking hell this is actually insane it is actually getting menacing, he is an absolute freak. I feel like she is in a very disturbing spiral of denial and being controlled and manipulated. The vlog was all over the place and very disjointed it is just odd, the vibes are off.

Did I miss instructions for that vlog to snort coke or something so it would all make sense?

 

[triesherbest]

she's so bitter it's unreal omg. it really comes through in her long comment.

 

[Callan]

Sorry, what style ?

Lordon' style is "stay at home boyfriend".

 

[ListenLinda]

I’m just catching up on her latest vlog, she’s selling a course?! Hahaha it’s just too transparent that she’s gone to Bali, met these life coaches and they’ve told her how much money you can make with an online course. She’s using her reach and following to make a quick buck. I hope people aren’t stupid enough to waste their money on it.

 

[Tshads404]

Yeah I don’t think they broke up either. He’s too much of a leech and she’s too desperate to be in a relationship.

 

[Callan]

Love the comments

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Wow, great comments! I was wondering myself, how is holding up a sign proof that you're actually doing something for other women? I can hold up a sign that says that I'm a brain surgeon, doesn't mean I am one. If anything she deletes or hides comments and proudly announced in her last vlog that she's dropping her friends, which in turn makes her a better friend. Niomi has never supported women, only herself.

 

[lcd77]

He looks even worse without beard... What the hell is she thinking? I can't believe she's dating that guy
Also, that video of hers about the casual entrance... she really thinks she's a model/starlet and funny when she's clearly neither

ETA the aforementioned video

 

[triesherbest]

the interview segment is so tryhard, like those people who have a podcast and have nothing new to say. you can tell she's trying extra hard to be candid in it but it just seems forced.

this also seems to me like an attempt at proving that yes, they do have sex!!! look at us, we're a sexually active couple unlike my miserable, married-off friends. we get it.

interesting that charlotte has liked bradley's instagram post - i really think lordon is a massive downgrade from him he probably looks at lordon like THAT'S who i'm replaced with?