Niomi Smart #45 Fourchette la baguette and Donkey in the shed, are they engaged yet?

[curiouscat106]

@Jenn13 it was this one

Then days 13 and 15 to follow x

 

[Nitfey]

If her followers call her out on her carbon footprint, she would probably say « I’ve been trying so hard to be good and do good. I sure have a very sustainable lifestyle, but hey, I’m just relaxed on and off, especially when I’m away from London. What happened to women supporting women? »

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Speaking of people being mean to her

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Don’t you understand, Niomi? You get the followers you deserve. Have a safe flight

Funny she did not share and delete comments from long time followers who told her she is waste of time now...but oh well...
I'm against trolling like that. Better be silent and unfollow so she has less and less subscribers and is forced to go to a real job.
London Bali balanced life my ass...

 

[Callan]

How do I erase this image from my mind?

You just replace it with another Niomi image, she's a content creator remember?

 

[Callan]

I just realized that Niomi reminds me of Emily from Emily in Paris tv-series. I was annoyed with this character the whole time

"Niomi in Bali"... I'd watch that
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Wow looks just like her too

 

[Callan]

Looks like it could be Shibari?
Never would have pictured an uptight Niomi who was lockedway in the Woodward family's guesthouse in 2020, singing about smoothie bowl weather like a demented children's television presenter graduating to mushrooms, orgies and shibari!



They don't even supply the fungi? What exactly are people parting with their hard earned cash for - his dazzling smile?!

Matches the tattoos the weird dude has, like rope on his skin.. I bet it's not even shrooms, could be LSD.

Niomi Smart #46 If you need help, blink twice

He planned to go to Bali later this year.

Yes correct, in September, I'm sure she will still be there. He could finally put his stupid muscles to use.

 

[irvinelane]

If she did do the dumping, that would have to be the most intelligent thing she has ever done

And yet, we only have a 50% chance that this is the case.

 

[Lilac Wine]

I haven’t been reading a lot but from what I have gathered Aubrey Marcus created Onnit and Fit for service (described as “a curated fellowship where members are able to directly experience their own optimization in becoming physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, romantically, and spiritually fit to be of service, for the good of all”, so a bunch of bull). Lordon follows Marcus and Fit for service, so he’s involved in some level

Maybe he follows them for inspiration for developing his own cult and the most effective way to scam people. He might be modelling his Bali ‘business’ on theirs.

 

[therlieann]

I’ve been digging around because I’m sick right now, and I have a LOT of time on my hands. It looks like the house is not just Lordon’s house, and he must share it with some people. He was tagged in some yoga thingy on Instagram and I checked the profile, and they film some classes there. Maybe that’s Niomi’s next step and why she needed the videographer?

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Oooh yea maybe they asked her to film some yoga classes ?

Also please not the manifesting the bag

 

[Shutterbug99]

View attachment 1400851So forky went to Wimbledon with a brand and his whole table seemed like female influencers- Lydia Millen etc. Seemed like more of a niomi type event. Maybe he and dimbob really are still “great friends” and she just gave him her invite!

You could be right. He was there with Elizabeth Arden which is a really strange fit for Forky! I don't know if you can pass on invites of this type, but maybe you can if the person you're passing the invite on to has enough followers!

Notice Lydia E Millen finally got her hair sorted. Last time I checked in she killed her designer cat and was terrorising a pregnant hairdresser online for ruining it. Classy broad.

She killed her cat? What?!

 

[Pilatesgirl]

I don’t think Niomi is the kind of person who keeps getting engaged and then married after a few weeks a secret. Especially for this long. I hope it’s not true because just imagine the annulment or divorce era. Where was this original weird message or comment?

It was probably a Mick Jagger / Jerry Hall style wedding in Bali that is not legally recognised but recognised by his cult thing, so in their eyes they are married and don’t need an official piece of paper to confirm it.

 

[slamvs27]

Slightly OT, but I wonder what book Niomi Smart the self-professed bookworm is reading now?

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

I can’t believe she’s not getting bored and tired of her empty life, she doesn’t have anything going on, just constant vacations and what’s shocking is that she’s doesn’t do anything meaningful or interesting she probably doesn’t even think. She must be like Hailey Bieber, who just sits and waits in a room without doing anything

I think she‘s so delusional now, that she actually believes what she does is hard work and she deserves the treat for it…

I always assumed Hailey was recovering from having to spend time with Justin, and then psyching herself up to have to spend more time with him later.

Not niomi talking about non toxic beauty when she gets the head bleached (fried) off herself every few weeks.

And baby botox! Quite lichrally a posion. I'd be shocked if those manicures weren't #ohsokindlygifted, butttt being out of the Eu /uk she doesn't have to disclose. Sneaky!

 

[ECH]

Wait- how can you delete a photo off a photo dump. I didn’t think you could do it either?

If you edit it, you can delete photos now. Carousels have to have at least two pictures in them though, you can't all but one.

 

[irvinelane]

Spoiler: ♥♥♥

You kept it!! Of course dear, never have to ask! Just wanted a little cheer-everyone-up-a-bit post hehe Overtime I'm lowkey making an origami zoo, I have made a lot of different animals. It was difficult to find a tutorial for a Lordon McDonkey, maybe they are not popular? haha
You are the sweetest!

Spoiler: ♥♥♥

Of course I kept it I genuinely love your creations, they definitely cheer me up. And every time I look at the flamingo, I think of you guys and how amazing you all are YOU are the sweetest!

 

[Callan]

I did the sundried tomato muffins not too long ago, altered the recipe some, but they were nice. But I remember finding that always to be the case for me, I needed to make alterations or everything would be bland. But that might just be my taste preferences.

I just saw that the book is actually available on Scribd if anyone has a subscription and is tempted to take a look.

No way, I have Scribd but didn't realize they had cookbooks, thank you! Listening to an audiobook on there now haha, thank you for letting me know!
I often have to adjust things too I like salt but some recipes can really be a little bland. Those muffins sound very interesting! It's funny watching Niomi's old videos where she's like "I love to cook" and now she doesn't do it anymore.

 

[kale-supremacist]

It still sounds so weird because Joe seemed to care a lot about Niomi - I remember this hamper of gifts he made as an advent calendar, when he was in India, counting the days until he came back. No surprise she was devastated if she found out something like that - I would too. The problem is she let her anger define her and her next relationships. I wouldn't be surprised if she wronged Forky in some way, because this is what you do after a major breakup, you treat others bad because you are scared something hurts you again.

I've seen online (tiktok/reddit) a lot of women state that the day their man made a "grand gesture" (flowers, unexpected gifts, etc) was right after they cheated (fact that they would learn later).

Didn't someone also stated that he used to date someone in India when he was on his own or am I dreaming that?

 

[Shutterbug99]

Hey guys! Have been lurking for awhile but here I am dayum what happened past weeks..
So one part I missed, why do we assume Lordon organising orgies ?!

Second, its so weird how she ended up with this dude ?! So fast? She seems super unstable and needs therapy asap.

And second she looks unhappy. I used to be able to really relate to her but with this new adventure.. I just can’t. I think she is making huge mistakes!

To add to what @lcd77 said, there was also some intel that he dated a sex coach called Jenny Keane and they organised sex parties in Ireland. What has Nims gotten herself into?!

 

[Slaybutter]

@Swipeupyouguys It is! Every creep of the dating apps mentions it.

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

Bored AF, talking to herself:

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Begging for freebies again.

 

[QueenBW]

She's so depressed she can't even go do something outside of the same two or three things she does constantly, she hates herself so much she can't bear to be in her own company. Like always, I plead, Niomi, go to bloody therapy.