Niomi Smart #22 Vinyasa flow, not over Joe, 6am walks with nowhere to go

[kittymeowlondon]

Hello tattlers. Your fave Joe spy checking in with a scoop.
Saw Joe watching the football at the pub with Anna sat next to him.
xoxo gossip girl

 

[Pundertaker]

I looked up to Nigella Lawson when I was 20 ( still do, love her) , it's sad that some people have Niomi as their muse.

Completely unrelated but I made such a dickhead of myself in front of Nigella at a book signing

Nigella: what's your name?
Me: [oh god please be my mom] my name is xxx
Nigella: That's a very Welsh name. Are you Welsh?
Me: actually no
Nigella: not even a bit of Welsh in you?
Me: [oblivious] well, my boyfriend is Welsh
Nigella: [Far less raunchy in real life]
Me:

 

[cowsgomoo]

Remember when Niomi said she would NEVER photoshop her photos when she got called out for the mosy obvious photoshop ever?

Fenton's photo vs Niomi's photo. Great reminder that Instagram is NOT reality.

 

[lilamay]

Why do people willingly pay to eat soil? 🥲

They think it makes them down to earth.

 

[StephenTJackson]

Maybe it's a VERY unpopular opinion, but I want to say it. Niomi doesn't owe her viewers a video. Creative people don't owe their audiences anything. They choose to watch/read/otherwise consume their art. You don't get mad at an author or maybe a band when they don't write a book or put out an album every year. You're just happy when they do. But they don't owe you to do so.

That said, let it please be clear that I've come to despise Nims since her post breakup behaviour and think she needs help dealing with and facing her current reality.

I'm quite prepared to agree with you, but then you described Niomi as creative, and I'm sorry, but Niomi has never done anything creative in her life. She is bland, boring, unimaginative and totally unoriginal.

 

[Callan]

Sometimes when I see influencers’ stories/posts and I find them really embarrassing, I just wish I could log in to their account and delete it for them to save them the embarrassment. This is one of them

I see steak/cow in her stories all the time with the fugly purses she wears.

 

[palmer]

Title suggestion:

The chronicles of Nio-Me, Myself and I

 

[lilamay]

she's done the thing where you save the instagram photo and then screenshot it so that the filter doesnt show up on instagram. I wonder if she actually thinks this photo looks natural in any way at all

Lol it's so obvious - Dimbobs we know that's not what you look like

Maybe she was right - she isn't an influencer. She's a dimfluencer!

She seems to go for the kind of men that will end up wearing red trousers in twenty years time.

 

[palmer]

« Eating cookies without being judged » says the woman who hid a bowl of popcorn under a towel on the FLOOR so her bf wouldn’t find it. Hid the peanut butter jar every time her bf would buy a new one such that they ended up with a cupboard full of untouched jars while he kept having to buy more thinking they’d run out. Moaned when her bf dared wanting to add toast to the smoothie bowl she prepared. And so on. Absolute freak.

Who even worries about being judged for eating cookies?

 

[kalechips]

In other news Anna has posted a video of her with a load of men watching football, there is a guy to the left of her who looks like it could be Joe’s hair but they’re all leaping around and you don’t see his face…she’s such a tease

She's just not like the other girls

 

[kale-supremacist]

Good luck building muscles eating 300kcal of leaves per day.

 

[kalechips]

Interesting that Freddie doesn't follow Anna anymore. The way he's always so quick to follow/unfollow whoever Joe is dating though makes me think that he's a little too involved in Joe's business, I always thought he seemed like one of those really catty dudes.

 

[Mrs.Scamander]

Something I appreciate about this thread: Hating on Dimbobs with y'all actually helps me eat better. Today I had a moment of thinking "Oh no I'm eating carbs!" (Yes I know that's stupid) and then immediately corrected with "....is what a dumb peroxide strawhead would say" and finished my dinner in peace. Thanks, Tattlers. And thanks Dimbobs for inspiring me to be nothing like you.

 

[lilamay]

Seems she had some bread today and had an orgasm...

See - it's what your body's been crying out for, Dimbobs!

 

[ECH]

#candid really? You know, for all of those times you're just candidly lying on a scooter's handlebars?

 

[mg95]

I can't believe its like a year on and she's given us so little content we're still having regular discussions about tea and toast and the smoothie bowl.

 

[Pundertaker]

Thank the lord she's using low sugar granola. I'm so relieved! Did you know normal granola has sugar in it? You could be eating actual sugar for breakfast

Fortunately, Niomi just blended a load of Sugar fruit and had it with a fairy's wrist flick of low sugar gut health granola. Thank fuck.

Note: it isn't granola if it doesn't have sugar. It's Oats With Things. I launch my brand next season.

 

[Tea&Toast]

I’d forgot Nimrod existed even through the boredom of lockdown and her breakup, but I’ve enjoyed catching up on the threads, it’s given me a lotta laughs. I started tuning out when Joe Coma arrived on the scene and she turned all smug, self satisfied and entitled, while dragging her new mannequin into every vlog.

We’ve all wasted our time dating losers and dimwits, blinded by their looks or in Nim-Moi’s case their money and connections, but 4 years just to get dumped by one at the alter almost, that’s so humiliating. You have flings with guys like Joe Furniture and move on quickly, even dizzy tits Charlotte dumped him after the first date. If my best friend told me there’s someone who’s perfect for me and they turn out to have the personality of a sun lounger and can’t string two words together, that’s not saying much about me really is it, that’s an insult, chief bridesmaid, chief bitch more like

 

[palmer]

Maybe when she said she was sick of "toxic men" she meant men who eat bread.

Reading about her eating habits from her stories and posts on Tattle is alarming. She's like someone who constantly screams "I'm innocent" when they are clearly guilty as heck of something.

Reminds me of this comment someone posted on her photo after the breakup last year

 

[Fernweh.Cheetah]

Is she trying to look sexy? No, Niomi it looks gross