WHEW I've been slammed at work but just caught up with almost everything I missed so forgive me for this post being a bit late, but in response to her vid about the breakup...
there were moments in this video that were the first time EVER I had seen TRUE RAW vulnerability from Niomi, but even then it's like I could literally see it flickering in and out because the pride wall kept going up to block it. in true British fashion, she does NOT like to show herself as weak or in pain, but it was nice to see even teeny moments of it here and there in that video, as I finally felt a bit of compassion for her. but I agree with all the sentiments from folks that she is not looking inward about this at fucking all (the whole focus on the wrong path vs asking herself what part she played here).
I also saw some Niomi stans on here saying things like was Niomi supposed to focus her whole quarantine on Joe losing his job/the world doesn't revolve around Joe/etc, and that sounds like the chirping of someone who has never been in a successful long term relationship. because yes. Joe was the one in that situation who just went through something devastating - all her needs should go to the backburner temporarily. he lost his dream job, he lost his dream of living in India, his world was flipped on its head & Niomi was just prancing around vlogging day in and day out while the man was mourning the loss of his entire career & forseeable future. she got to be back in England where she wanted, and got to plan a wedding - things were peachy keen for her, and I seriously doubt she paid a lick of attention to any comments he may have made about not wanting to go on runs, not wanting to get out of bed at 7 god damn AM, not wanting to be on camera, etc. in fact, I bet she guilted him if he tried to say no. now, really think about that. he was mourning a devastating career loss but HE IS BEING GUILTED TO DO SHIT FOR HER?!?!? my god, if I was her, I would've let him sleep all day every day if he wanted, brought him breakfast in bed, made him baked treats & yummy junk food comfort food, not make him go on a single run, never make him go on camera, ASK if he wanted to participate in wedding planning stuff & give him the opportunity to turn it down if he was feeling too shit. Niomi doesnt have a career, she merely gets paid to exist. for people who are career oriented (like myself), I fully and deeply understand how depressed he surely was from this.
I'm surprised more people haven't mentioned how nonchalant she was the entirety of lockdown about him losing his job. she wasn't treating him literally any differently than she always had - still giving him shit for things that NO ONE SHOULD GET SHIT FOR anyway, but especially in a time of loss (eat whatever you want, sleep however late you want, skip the runs for fucks sake). can anyone here imagine if you lost your dream job and a week later, your fiancé was passive aggressively berating you for not getting up at 7am or telling your depressed ass you can't have a piece of fucking toast!?!??!?
they definitely had problems we spotted as far back as early 2019, but if I was him, how she navigated his loss and essentially had barely a shred of real compassion and empathy for his situation and wanted him to immediately accommodate HER, my opinion would be deeply changed about my significant other. loss is one of those things that tests a relationship and shows how someone is in the hardest times, and she proved her selfishness would not waiver even in a deeply depressing time for him. she navigated his loss as selfish as ever, head in the clouds, and that surely would've been an eye opening moment for him.
As for the many theories on pizza night, I could see him trying to bring up feeling that she had been selfish and her just throwing India in his face and listening to absolutely nothing he was trying to say about her selfish nonchalance during lockdown (and the selfish demands in general of him doing shit for HER vids like going on runs & cooking & whatnot) and her seeming apathy for his situation, then him trying to point out that she CHOSE to go to India & she can't use that as a defense for other selfish behavior, and her throwing a general fit. and perhaps Freddie quietly witnessed that fit & they had a chat & he realized she is never going to change and worse, she will try to use the fact that she went to India for 2 whole months against him the rest of their lives to get her way. the thing I'm most curious about is how it actually went down in terms of if he dumped her straight or if it was a fight that led to dump or if she tried to bluff and he took that as an opportunity to actually leave, etc.. & I shall add my cap to the table of theories lol. Perhaps after this fight, she made some sort of "aFtEr i WeNt tO InDiA fOr YoU fOr TWO WHOLE MONTHS, hOw DaRe yOu SaY iM SeLfiSH you need to think about all I've done for you & I'm going to my parents house til you apologize!!!"rant and bluffed like she was leaving him, and specifically left the ball in his court so she could essentially MAKE him apologize, but instead she goes there and he calls her & ends it for good. then again maybe the whole thing happened in 1 convo and she went to her parents house after.
was the timing super unfortunate for Niomi? yes. but was it completely tone deaf & selfish to giddily plan a wedding while your loved one is depressed and dealing with a lost future? also yes. in those circumstances, I'd want to slow everything down, but she sped it all up. it was just so focused on her that she created her own delusional perfect kingdom ripe for a crashing down when she should've been focused on helping Joe rebuild his crumbling kingdom. unfortunately, I'd be willing to bet her next relationship has the same exact problems bc I dont see a shred of self awareness from her yet.
SORRY FOR LONG POST
