Niomi Smart #12 Back at home drinking alone, dressing sexy with no one to bone

[imsorryabtthisacct]

Amazing. They have a WALLPAPER of books in their study, but not ACTUAL books. This is so consistent with everything we know about her & I'm rolling

 

[Chocolate2008]

I think some people on this thread are determined to think the worst of her no matter what. She said twice in that video that she was thinking about the impact on her family. That’s not selfish.
I don’t agree with her behaviour around Covid. I also think she’s taken the self love thing a bit too far at times by literally checking herself out on camera & other stuff along those lines, plus she’s been passive aggressive & lacks depth etc.
But, this video felt genuine for the most part & while the right path thing isn’t for me I’m glad she explained it.

 

[whatktdid]

and wherever she goes she just eats the same food as well, I think I have said this before but being vegan really does make eating (which for me is a huge part of travel) boring IMO (I know there are LOADS of amazing vegan options everywhere, especially in India, but it would annoy me to have to really scour menus sometimes to make sure who i was with could eat something and not try local specialties- not to mention Joeeyyyyy always only ate vegan with her too. Imagine going to greece and not eating fish or seafood?)

Well, being vegan for ethical reasons (not to say this is Niomi's prime motivation) means that if scouring a few menus results in less animal suffering and death, that's a good trade. There are plenty of things to criticise Niomi for - including her personal brand of veganism, which is restrictive and avoidant of anything outside of the health vogue - but I don't think veganism while travelling is one, personally.

 

[milanolo]

Time heals all wounds. I'm all healed, I've moved on and I'm genuinely happy! I turned it on its head and wouldn't allow it to ruin me!

10 seconds later: Passive aggressive post on Joe being an asshole.

She's so predictable:
Gets dumped
Is (understandably) angry,
Tries to lure him back with sexy pics
doesn't work
tries again
doesn't work
has fling to incite jealousy/rage
doesn't work
pretends to be happy and 'over it' like it never hurt her in the first place
still crickets
Angry that nothing is working, posts bitter and immature post on social media

Well done, Dimbobs! You're truly an ingenious mastermind! Absolutely no one could figure out what you were up to!

This is the world's smallest violin playing just for you.

 

[milanolo]

I don’t know if anyone has ever mentioned how Rosanna Falconer went to India and posted the most gorgeous pictures of palaces and forts, yet Niomi was there for two months and didn’t visit a single one.

Sure she did. She worshipped the Temple of Soho House for the whole two months. #culturalexperience #socultured #realindia

 

[Lalisa]

I can't crap on her for the latest video... instead of trying to be perfect, I think she was a lot more honest and clearly the emotion of what happened is still very raw. When she started tearing up at the end... I felt that.

I think her coping mechanism is to try and convince herself that she's "over it" in order to get over it. Like dressing for the job you want. I've definitely done that myself after a break up... a lot of people have. That whole "show him what he's missing" thing.

I want more of THIS Niomi than the one who is all sparkle and false.

 

[Compostella]

She probably thinks this makes her look good, cause she loves to play the victim, etc. But this is actually a perfect description for what narcissists do? They need someone 'perfect for them' and are unable to see the other person for who they are, good or bad. And the illusions and delusions...
Niomi, did you just admit to being a narc?

 

[LaraQ]

This is the most honest and emotional she's ever been about the break up.Lets give her some credit for that.

 

[H91]

I thought this video was going to be a load of shite but I really rate her for putting this out. The wedding dress shopping and the part of collapsing into her parents’ arms was really hard to watch. I think the vulnerability from her was really refreshing and endearing

 

[AaronPurrSir]

I am so fucking sick of the whole “wellness” industry and people like Niomi who peddle it.

it’s such an incredibly privileged industry. Peddling bullshit about constant “self care”. Most of us don’t have the privilege of spending hours doing yoga and meditating every day. We have tough jobs with long hours. Long commutes. Hard studies. Children. Ill family members. I’m so so sick of being told by bullshit wellness merchants who have literally no worries, financial or otherwise, that I should be making time every day to practice wellness. Getting up at 6am to do yoga in front of a sunrise. If I could spend the rest of the day sat on my arse counting my money, maybe I would. But I have a toddler to get up with and care for, get to childcare, and then spend a full day working in a busy job before making dinner for my child, myself, and wrestling him to sleep sometime before 9pm.

Like most people I would love to spend hours a day practicing “self care” but my life is too busy. I’m so sick of smug wellness coaches and influencers who have no real job, no real responsibilities and a fucking shit ton of money telling us that we aren’t happy or fulfilled enough if we don’t spend hours a day engaging in naval gazing and emotional masturbation like they do. It is causing people more stress than anything - it’s just another thing to fit into their busy days.

Sorry, slightly OT rant but I’m getting so fed up with the bullshit people like Dimbobs who don’t have a clue how real people live are promoting!

 

[judgejohndeed]

Maybe I'm just broken as a person but I'm yet to feel sorry for her. 2 mins of waffling 'when I left Sussex I had nowhere to live' seriously? Give me a fuuuuuucking break, her family has a MANSION.

 

[sitkx]

'Just thought I'd show the clothing in action', simper simper.

Direct messages: 0
No one:
Absolutely no one:
Influencers: Got SO many questions about my outfit, so here are the links!

 

[Mr.Mistoffelees]

My personal opinion about Niomi aside, my heart broke for her when she was describing her wedding dress shopping with her mum and sister, as well as that last bit of the video with her stepdad. Men really are shit.

The only thing I wish she included in the video was the importance of asking for help and seeking therapy.

 

[palmer]

Spoiler

So I watched the video, and I do give her props for actually talking about the breakup, because she was glossing over it in her other videos. Classic Niomi still has to make it all self-congratulatory (as many have said).

The biggest red flag to me relates to how she said it wasn’t meant to be, and she didn’t realize she was on the wrong path, and she just had to realize that if they were meant to get married, he wouldn’t be doing these things to her. I don’t think there’s an issue with rationalizing that it wasn’t meant to be, so it’s time to move on, but she speaks as though that’s the whole extent of it, rather than to look at what actually went wrong.

She clearly talks about how they had issues and weren’t perfect, but she had convinced herself that she was in this fairy tale. However, it comes across like the only problem from her end was not realizing that they weren’t perfect, and glossing over any issues they had that caused the relationship to not be perfect (whereas Joe clearly cared about the disagreements/issues, to the point that he felt it was the right thing to end the relationship). She’s basically coming across like she didn’t realize the problems they had were actually problems, and THAT was the problem. When in reality, that IS a problem, but it’s only one - and ignores the actual issues that she was glossing over.

Two people don’t need to be perfect for each other to be in a happy, committed, loving relationship. It’s ok to have issues and differences, but both people have to work together to keep the relationship happy and healthy. Now, this is pure speculation on my end, but based on 1) what we saw in their videos, and 2) what Niomi said about not recognizing their problems, it wouldn’t surprise me if Joe had concerns (whether that be about not being able to eat what he wants, constantly having his private life on camera, or anything really), and if he tried to address them, Niomi may have just glossed over the issues, apologizing to try to make the issue go away, but not actually changing her behavior. If that was the case, it wouldn’t surprise me that Joe ended things, seeing how she wasn’t willing to work with him to make changes.

We’re all human and I’m sure Joe has his own issues, but I’m curious as to whether Niomi ever raised any issues with things relating to him that they needed to work through. Based on what she said about it being a fairy tale, it wouldn’t surprise me if she had overlooked any issues/concerns/disagreements she had regarding Joe. However, if she did raise any concerns with him, and Joe did try to make changes to address the issue, I could see that being another problem for Joe- that he’s willing to work through his shortcomings but she isn’t. Of course, this is all hypothetical.

All I’m trying to get at is that if 2 people are willing to work through issues together, things are more likely to work out. It seems like she ignored the issues or didn’t think too much of them. While that in itself is an issue that she can now recognize, I worry that if she hasn’t addressed the actual issues on her end in the relationship, she’s likely to bring them into her next relationship.

Spoiler

Hi! Back again because I feel like a dork for engaging with her content again after I swore off, but... I watched the video. Here are my thoughts:

- Multiple things can be true at once. She can be blindsided while at the same time, it could have been very clear there was a problem.
- Would not be shocked if she was blind to issues and therefore was blindsided so I do feel for her but mostly... I feel for her for not realizing there was a problem
- I really hope she develops some SELF AWARENESS. I have never been in a breakup where (and I've been in many) I didn't take time to think about what I had done. What if anything I did wrong. And there is SO much more to that than realizing someone wasn't on the right path. Was he"not her person" because she didn't think about changing and developing as a person?
- I do feel for her but only because I think she won't grow from this
- I feel gaslighted by her confidence in her being someone who doesn't need to change or grow. Like, it truly feels to me that she wanted to be accepted for exactly who she is. Which sounds like a fair thing, but who she is is a walking advertisement. I am convinced they broke up because he didn't want to live his life on camera and if that is the case... then her commitment to being an influencer trumping her relationship means that she had a role in this and it's not like she was dumped out of the blue.
- the whole video felt very contrived and I think she is blind to who she really is as a person
- there's always two sides to a story. If Joe dumped her with no conversation or warning then that is absolute shit. Maybe that happened. Maybe signs were ignored. I really wonder... if there was a window for self reflection and getting back to have a chat and pick things up. That DOES happen sometimes, happened to me earlier this year, we broke up and after 5 days of self analysis, conversation and a thorough letter explaining myself and what I wanted to change personally and between us, we got back together. Now moving in together as we face a lockdown. <3 But seriously, there might have been a window. I have a hard time thinking about Joe thinking there is no chance of getting back together unless he knew she would never give up being an influencer.
- I really think his job / dream loss given what happened with India and the job was a killer. I got the vibe from their lockdown videos that she didn't really get it, was blind to that, didn't support him. In that situation, + depression, + lockdown, I wouldn't be shocked if he wasn't his usual fawning self. She's materialistic to say the least so I wouldn't be shocked if she felt he was not a good person based on that very normal life change/perspective change.

So in summation, she does have some of my sympathy but mostly because I think her sense of who she is as a person is pretty underdeveloped.

Is this harsh? Maybe. But this year has taught us all to really question things and I'm just not buying what she's literally selling in this video (ads).

Spoiler

Look, I think Niomi has every right to feel angry with Joe and think badly of him if she wants to. It happened to her and she was dumped while planning a wedding, that’s a unique kind of dumping and it hurts. So Niomi is gonna feel a way about it, fine.

However, it doesn’t make me feel angry at Joe, or think he’s a bad person. It sucks, of course, but these things happen and it’s horrible timing but you realize you just can’t marry someone, you don’t love them enough, what really are you meant to do? Perhaps we all haven’t been in this extreme of a situation but I’m sure many of us have found ourselves in situations that we start to second guess, situations we convinced ourselves were what we wanted and then realized that life had gotten away from us.

I do believe he thought he wanted to marry her, and... this might be an unpopular opinion but i think it’s brave to actually fully realize it‘s not right and to defy the ‘but it’s all booked!’ ‘But what will her family say?’ typical reactions and just know it is wrong.

Again, I totally understand that Niomi would hear this and not give a shit and have all sorts of things to throw back at him and that’s her right. But objectively, if you don’t want it anymore, don’t go through with it.

Completely agree with these posts as well as @judgejohndeed, @Ramster93 and @QueenBW (as usual!).

I watched the video and, to me, it basically just confirmed everything we've been saying for months and also emphasized aspects of her personality and character that I personally despise. It really didn't change anything about the way I view her at all. Look, I am admittedly glad that she's FINALLY addressed the breakup explicitly (although, quite confused considering only a week ago she said that posting a video about breakups sounded "terrifying, but maybe eventually! In a few months haha") and I do command her for showing more vulnerability (than usual...). I've been through a couple of truly horrible breakups myself. One even left me clinically depressed for several years and led me to develop a severe eating disorder. I know what it feels like to wake up everyday with that physical pain in your chest. I know what it feels like to sob uncontrollably on the floor, wondering how you could possibly ever feel happiness again. I'm not denying that breakups can be some of the worst pain you experience, and I genuinely sympathize with anyone who is going through that. However, for the most part, breakups (especially this one) remain a blessing in disguise -- we know they are for the best, we know they are temporary pain. And she's infinitely lucky that she's been able to deal with her breakup in the circumstances that she has -- not having any real work commitments, being able to take all the time off that she needs, having incredibly supportive family and friends around her, having all the money in the world to treat herself on a daily basis. Most of us do not have that chance -- if we were dumped in the same way that she was, we would still have to show up to work and deal with our pain in silence, with the limited time and money that we have. So call me evil, but yeah, I don't particularly feel bad for her.

Most of all, breakups don't excuse straight-up shitty behavior. They don't excuse breaking the law and being a selfish, condescending brat during a worldwide pandemic that has killed millions, put more millions out of work, and kept families separated for almost a year. If she needed the emotional support, she could have very well stayed at her mom's house in Sussex. She could have got off the internet and literally just hung out with her family for months, and she'd still be fine financially. She didn't have any job to show up to in London, she didn't even have an apartment there. She simply did not have to move into a new apartment, meet up with 30+ different people and dozens more workers (refer to my intro post in thread #10), consistently refuse to wear a facial covering or comply with social distancing measures, go on multiple trips outside London -- and to top it all off, plaster all of the above online for hundreds of thousands of people to see, in the boldest display of arrogance, insensitivity, and carelessness I have seen in a long time. Her posting a video of herself tearing up for a few minutes isn't going to erase all of that. No way in hell. It also doesn't erase her propensity to deliver undisclosed ads, her greenwashing, her inconsistency and lack of authenticity (preaching about being vegan/ethical yet her actions in many ways tell a completely different story), her arrogance ("i'm not an influencer"), and so on.

What's more, her sadness over the breakup (and I mean over the breakup, not over losing Joe -- as others mentioned, it really sounds like she was more devastated over the fact that she couldn't go through with her dream/fairytale wedding, rather than the fact that she missed the person she'd just shared 4 years of her life with) does not blind me as to how grossly self-centered she is (in fact, it highlights it). She comes across as incredibly naive, delusional, and above all lacking in self-awareness. To be honest, I find those traits really repelling and it just does not incite me to empathize with her further. Sure, it is great to see that she's finally honest about how she got dumped and how unexpected and painful it was. What would be greater though, is if she would actually engage in introspection for once in her life and learn some lessons out of this experience. I'm not saying this should have happened in just a few months, but she gives the impression that she's completely unwilling to do that and will not be willing to in the future either. She sounds incredibly smug, talking about how proud she is of herself for opening the so-called "self-healing" manual from day 1, as if there was an actual logical method for getting over a breakup (or any other type of trauma, according to her) and all you need to do in order to be fine like her is just to follow it. Again, not everyone is so lucky to have the privileges that she does. Journaling and podcasts are great, but you know what helps too? Being able to flee to your mom's £1M+ countryside mansion and enjoy a private heated pool, receiving free gifts everyday, getting to go on free trips to expensive hotels, having the money to go out to lunch/dinner everyday, having a lot of people around you who also have a lot of free time to offer you, not having to show up to the office 5 days a week.

I hated the way that she kept going on about the "right path" bullshit once again and the whole "this is the world, or something bigger, telling me that this isn't right and I’m being guided onto the right path." In reality, it's not "the world" or "something bigger" telling her, it's Joe!!!! A real human being who lived with her, her qualities and her flaws, for 4 years and --lo and behold-- ended up realizing in all consciousness that he simply did not want to be with her. The breakup is not something that happened magically thanks to her lucky stars that were looking over her and figured it was time to put her back on the "right path." It happened thanks to Joe!!! It's like she refuses to admit that Joe could have felt that she wasn't the right woman for him, that he could have figured out that they weren't right for each other? She frankly should feel lucky for his being a sensible enough human being that he realized they weren't right for each other and made a difficult decision for them both, a decision that she NEVER would have had the courage to otherwise make. She's lucky that he was there to do the self-reflection on behalf of the both of them, because she was clearly refusing to partake in any of it.

The way I see it, she's also very lucky that Joe actually gave her a clean break and did not lead her on in any way. In my experience, my worst breakups were because the guy would break up with me but then not actually give me a chance to properly move on and heal. They would linger around and give me false hopes, which was way more torturous than being told things firmly. In this case, it sounds like Joe ultimately was very upfront with her, forced her to have a conversation she "really didn't want to have" (her words), told her it was over, and that was it. To me, it doesn't at all look like there's any chance of reconciliation. She knows that it's definitely over, and I think that's super healthy and she should be grateful for that because not all men actually have the courage to do this. To those who call Joe names for "doing this to her" -- I'm not sure what exactly you would have expected him to do? She admitted herself that she was refusing to see the bad in the relationship. I think it's pretty clear that until he actually broke up with her she was refusing to listen to ANYTHING that was being said to her.

To be honest, the first time I noticed was off in their relationship was when I watched her "We're moving to India" video. I vividly remember watching this and thinking that it didn't AT ALL look like they were on the same page (pretty sure I had written about it on GG at the time). I've spoken on this thread before about how, a few years ago, I too moved abroad to follow my partner who had an opportunity in a foreign country I had never visited prior to moving, so this particular situation is very familiar to me. When I watched the video, it was painfully clear to me that their relationship was shaky, but I just don't think Niomi ever realized this. It didn't look like they had properly talked through what the move meant, how long they would be there, when they would get to visit back home, etc. Joe was clearly signifying to her that he "didn't know" if they'd be able to spend summers in London (makes sense considering he hadn't started the job yet and couldn't know in advance what it'd be like) -- but she kept brushing it off to push the 'fairytale' picture she had in her head. My hunch is that when Joe proposed to her, he didn't picture the wedding planning happening any time soon. In his head, they were going to move to India, he was going to start a new job, they would be there for a few years at least, and the wedding wouldn't happen while they were there -- it was a more distant thing. I'm pretty sure he was picturing a long engagement and didn't intend to start planning any time soon. When they came back, with India being out of the picture, I believe Niomi jumped on the opportunity to start planning NOW. She rushed everything. Spent the whole lockdown planning from A to Z, probably thinking she was locking him down when in reality she was doing the opposite: pushing him away. Clearly, that was too much for Joe and that was the final straw. He realized he wasn't ready for this, and it wasn't right.

As others have mentioned, no relationship is meant to be "perfect." The right relationship is not supposed to be a "fairytale." That's not real life, and that's not healthy. Relationships are meant to have ups and downs, they're meant to include arguments, disagreements, and reassessments. Until Niomi understands this, she will continue to make her partners unsatisfied and have unsuccessful relationships. When she says "I think I'm a perfectionist and I believed I was living a fairytale, which was a problem," it sounds like she is saying "Joe was so imperfect but I convinced myself that he was a Dream and now I realize I should not have ignored his imperfections!" But that's really NOT the conclusion she should draw. She should think, "I thought I was living a fairytale which stopped me from properly nurturing the relationship and working to fix issues that might have been there. If I hadn't ignored the issues we had, maybe we could have worked through them." No partner is meant to be perfect. No partner is meant to be naturally perfect for you either. You both have to work to be perfect partners to each other. Niomi seems to think all you need to do is wait until your soulmate falls from the clouds straight into your life, and all the puzzle pieces will come together magically in the most perfect way, and you will never have to put in any effort into making the relationship work. Newsflash Niomi: that's bullshit.

 

[bookish]

I just watched his video, intrigued by everyone who was saying they teared up watching her and felt something.

Now, I may be a total bitch, but I felt really nothing watching the video. It was just some very vein woman talking about her breakup.
There was a lot of discussion about losing her dream, her purpose, her vision.

No talk about losing a friend, a best friend of that, a soulmate, a life partner, of missing that person in her life, of feeling lonely.

Just a lot of talk about losing her vision and her life changing the day after she looked at wedding dresses - then she cried slightly.

She became emotional talking about losing the wedding - not even a hint, a mention, of losing someone who (should have) brought so much to her life, and who had been someone she (should have) treasured and should miss...

Nah, she's same old Niomi to me.

 

[deeghv54]

I saw this teeet today and burst out laughing... this must be what was happening to Joey’s peanut butters

 

[judgeydrudgey]

Recap for anyone who needs it:

1) Nimbs is back at her mum's house in Brighton for lockdown
2) Her family had Covid before she came down, thus we are denied the sweet schadenfreude of her spreading it like peanut butter (unless she already did)
3) Yoga course is almost over, Jesus Christ what will she have to talk about after that last module, probably self love, oh God, save us
4) Dettol Daddy is stil liking her insta posts and Nims is engaging in some cringey poses. The girl is thirsty and it's not for green juice
5) JOE HAS BEEN SEEN WITH BREAD

Did I miss anything?

Can’t forget this classy photo shoot that resurfaced!

 

[romansalad]

I don’t know if anyone has ever mentioned how Rosanna Falconer went to India and posted the most gorgeous pictures of palaces and forts, yet Niomi was there for two months and didn’t visit a single one.

Niomi seems like the type of person who LOVES travelling but only to rich white people places. Even in the most exotic place in the world she'd find something beige and bland.

 

[Pundertaker]

Recap for anyone who needs it:

1) Nimbs is back at her mum's house in Brighton for lockdown
2) Her family had Covid before she came down, thus we are denied the sweet schadenfreude of her spreading it like peanut butter (unless she already did)
3) Yoga course is almost over, Jesus Christ what will she have to talk about after that last module, probably self love, oh God, save us
4) Dettol Daddy is stil liking her insta posts and Nims is engaging in some cringey poses. The girl is thirsty and it's not for green juice
5) JOE HAS BEEN SEEN WITH BREAD

Did I miss anything?

 

[slothella22]

It makes me so angry how much she earns, yet I slave away in a hospital all day long helping partially sighted and blind patients only to get £25K.

I wouldn't be surprised if Joe go fed up of Niomi getting constant freebies and her moaning about how hard she works despite doing very little. Joe may have been born into wealth but at least he worked hard for his own salary. It must have been totally devastating for him to loose his dream job in India. Yet Niomi didn't seem bothered at all and was happy to go back to London and resume her charmed life.