Nicola Bulley #15

[givepeasachance]

Whilst a large percentage of the comments and discussion on here have been respectful, there's quite frankly been some awful comments and insinuations on here, particularly about Nicola's partner.

Regardless of your feelings towards him and what he gets up to, did you ever stop to think of Nicolas daughters, parents and sister reading that stuff?

However for every idiot who posted something crass, there was always another poster championing Nicola, common sense, morals and respect. There are still some decent people in the world to counteract the complete nonsense.

I hope you are at peace now Nicola.

 

[pommobear]

Whatever Nicola was going through in that moment, it's clear she just wanted to disappear. She would have had no clue that it would turn into the circus that it did or that her personal information would have been disclosed to the world.

I'm so sorry that you were failed, Nicola, and felt like you couldn't go on. It's so clear you are loved by many. I hope she knew that. I truly hope you are at peace now and the family is treated with the privacy and support they deserve.

As for the media, sort yourselves out, you knew you were crossing multiple lines and hyping up the social media frenzy. Don't continue to chastise this community or use your outlets to create chaos instead of raising awareness and assisting missing people.

"Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it"

RIP Nicola

Where the blue of the sea meets the sky and the big yellow sun leads me home. I'm everywhere now, the way is a vow to the wind of each breath by and by

It has not been confirmed it was a suicide.

 

[GiggleBee]

RIP Nicola

 

[kata420]

Thank you all for the tea and chats and advice also. You’ve been an amazingly supportive bunch.

 

[karmadrama]

That last line of the family statement has broken me Not sure why this case has affected me so much but I know I’m not the only one. I hope Nicola is at peace now and that her family somehow find a way to carry on

 

[Jwren]

I’ve tried to word this to sound less blunt but don’t seem able so apologies in advance.

Nicola is now confirmed dead, the priority now is her loved ones left behind. Mainly her young daughters, and her partner who now has to somehow explain this to those little girls and bring them up without a mother.
Of course it’s about him, the children and the rest of her loved ones. They’re the ones now living this and the absolute media frenzy added on top must be horrific beyond comprehension.

You don’t think it will be hurtful to her little girls that their mother has been betrayed as a peri-menopausal alcoholic and that wasn’t addressed, basically suggesting because Nicola is dead she’s no longer a priority. Sorry I disagree, I would want that addressed if it were my deceased loved one, it would be my priority but I appreciate we all have very different views.

 

[TakeMeBackToAitutaki]

I haven't been able to read or post (apart from once) because this case is so close to home (I've been in the same situation to Nicola's children). The accusations towards the family and descriptions of what happens when you drown and what happens to a dead body in water is just not something I can read or listen to. If I am traumatised by it, then think what such words do to her family and friends (or will in the future when/if they read them. And they probably will).

Heartbroken for Nicola and her family. I hope their plea to be left alone will be listened to. They have an unimaginably painful road ahead of them and they deserve compassion and empathy. That they had to put together that statement at this time in their lives genuinely breaks my heart, they are going through enough.

 

[themuffinwoman]

Whilst this thread has been heartwarming at times, there’s been some absolute offensive comments on here, akin to what was alluded to in the family’s statement regarding the partner. I hope those posters keep their mouths shut in the future. Also liking boobs doesn’t make you a murderer.

 

[Cupcakemum]

Apparently Sky cut out the bit where they were called out in the statement when they replayed??

No they didn't. I watched because I thought that was going to happen but they let it run

 

[Yel]

@Yel we really appreciate you and the other mods allowing us these threads. I know they must have been a bleeping nightmare sometimes.

If the tone had been different we'd of locked it right at the start, but despite this one thread taking up most of our time it felt like overall views we didn't think appropriate were balanced out.

 

[soupmodel]

Whilst this thread has been heartwarming at times, there’s been some absolute offensive comments on here, akin to what was alluded to in the family’s statement regarding the partner. I hope those posters keep their mouths shut in the future. Also liking boobs doesn’t make you a murderer.

No one ever said it was, and now just isn't the time.

 

[teaandgoss101]

Spoiler

My mum commited suicide by putting a bag over her head , she had practiced holding her breath as long as possible before putting the bag on as your body's involuntary natural reaction would be to remove it when you started to suffocate. If people are determined to do it there is always ways sadly . I its unbearably sad.

That’s is terribly sad and it is unbearable to think what people must be going through in the moment . I’m sorry for your loss.

 

[Veronicacorningstone]

Very sad news, RIP Nicola

I fear that with everyone having a platform to air their opinions these days, high profile cases like these will be a way for people to spout their completely uneducated speculations and accusations whilst dismissing actual credible and expert opinions and scientific facts. People are still discrediting the police even though they were right all along? Anyone still questioning how her body has only just surfaced obviously know very little about how difficult under water searches can be and should probably keep their opinions/theories to themselves

I hope this at least makes people think twice about water safety as the amount of posts and comments I’ve seen all over social media about how shallow the water is or how slow moving it is makes it clear why there are sadly thousands of drownings every year in this country. Rivers are NOT swimming pools with a completely even depth and no current. ALL bodies of water are dangerous and should not be so easily dismissed

 

[Skinny]

Rest in everlasting peace

 

[Layla29]

My heart absolutely shattered when they read out the part of the statement directly to Nicola, it’s so bloody heartbreaking. Wherever she is I hope she’s at eternal peace

 

[Loppylou89]

Awful news even though I think we all knew it was Nicola.
Thank you to each of you that have shared your stories and offered help and advice. There is definitely a few things I will take from this thread.
I hope you are now at peace Nicola, I’m sending love to your girls and family and friends.
Be easy on yourself everyone

 

[SkiesOfBlue]

I hope Nicola Bulley finally rests in peace.

While the disclosure of her vulnerablities was particularly cruel and insensitive, I do hope this opens a conversation around the perimenopause/menopause and particularly around the mental health implications. I also hope it doesn't deter people from accessing HRT if it is what's needed. I genuinely believe that the menopause and all the absolutely shite stuff that goes with it should be taught as part of sex education from a young age. It happens to too many women where they are caught unawares thinking they are going mad/becoming depressed and anxious/paranoid and what have you when a more holistic approach could and should be taken.

I've only been on HRT for about a year but it has been AMAZING. And although I consider myself fairly clued up and educated I was more or less clutching my pearls and reaching for the smelling salts when my doctor said I was most likely perimenopausal at mid-40. This is something I should have known and been prepared for. It's something we all need to be keenly aware of. I just assumed well my Mum was 53 and my Gran was 53 when they were menopausal and yet.......! I'll now basically will tell anyone who will listen. To your friends who have suddenly developed anxiety or depression or an inability to cope or burning rage - there are good reasons why this is happening and the doors to that dialogue need to be flung open.

It's just such a terrible terrible pity that a lovely young woman felt she had no other choice.

 

[FastAndTheCurious7]

I would also like to second this, as there were times I missed whole threads and the recaps and Wiki were invaluable and incredibly detailed, that i didn’t need to ask any questions!

I also agree - I feel like I’ve found my people and now feel I’m not alone in how I’m feeling. Life can be heavy at times. Thank you so much for everyone in this group.

 

[avabella]

I feel so very heavy hearted this evening, once again.

A lady went missing near me and when I saw her age I immediately thought ‘I wonder if she was menopausal’. That’s so wrong of me. But it is what the media have now implanted into the minds of people. I hate myself for that.

I hope anyone who is suffering for whatever reason feels able to reach out and be supported, somehow.

I’m still holding out that last hope that poor Nicola had some medical emergency that caused her to tumble into the water.

I’ll be thinking of her girls for a long time to come.

 

[themuffinwoman]

No one ever said it was, and now just isn't the time.

Plenty did and now is the exact time- the statement from the family made reference to all of the conspiracy theories and there were plenty on here.