New Zealand Influencers #47

[WatermelonSugar22]

What in the delulu is this bullshit.

You get sick every time you leave the house? Must be the devil! *waterboy mama voice*

God gave us vaccines and medicine, you dumb bitch. Try them sometime.

 

[trentstillworksfromhome]

Is someone going to tell Erin that when you take your fake Christmas tree out of the box you’re meant to fan out/separate all of the individual branches from the stems? Because, girl, that is one saaaaaaaad looking tree.

Also, Zach, stop being such a waste of space.

 

[UndiesOnFirst]

The reel LFYDs shared of Lulus birthday - Frankie blowing out the candles on her cake, I know it seems petty but I’ve seen him so this for other kids birthdays on the gram too, and I fucking hate it! It’s so entitled! Don’t let other kids blow out the candles!

 

[stanleycupgal]

Anyone else think clint randell and his wife are going to have trouble with there daughter when she's a teen?

If they do it will be completely their own fault, she's been treated like a teenager for years and has been encouraged to be a sassy brat for Instagram likes for years.

Also while I'm on a scrolling roll, just when I think I couldn't dislike this woman anymore, off shes goes with this shit.
Maria - you should thank your lucky starts everyday you have a doormat like Phil who puts up with you being the laziest housewife in Mangere. I wouldn't be teasing him for getting off his arse and cycling to work so you can sit around at home, reading smutty porn books and complaining you have to fold your washing.
She's so bloody pathetic

 

[sausagefingertrent]

So sad that people with a following are not bringing this to anyone’s attention yet spend hours and hours on the Palestine war - yes, fucking devastating, but why are they not sharing both? This poor we boy has not had his voice heard……why is someone like HM not sharing the fuck out of this story?

 

[Okelydokely]

Another few weeks of the Influenzas Influencers continuing to be boring assholes. However, us TC’s are good at turning shit into something and finding the little nuggets of gold. We’ve all established how to correctly pronounce Kumara...or have we , that Mike King is a C$%t and that we cant post about influencers with less than 10k followers…or can we

And now for the other updates:

It’s certainly been a busy month for everyone’s least favourite Dads. Christian has given up trying to drown Lulu and has now decided falling from a great height on an age-inappropriate toy is a far more instragrammable way to die. I see a co-lab with the ambulance service in their future. How simply adorable would that be and anything for content babes….oh and by the way #freepalestine

Our favourite Aussie’s have also been very busy, and Cassie made the startling revelation to her closest friends that both Miles and Scott have tounge tie. Poor Cassie, she may be the Elon Musk of Mandurah, but it’s an empty win when she can’t get no brotherly

So while in the R18 part of the update, Bernadebt the disgusting bitch shared some sloppy sex sounds and ‘absolutely not’ sex bruises with a side of tit. You know what they say about the ones talking the most about it Bernie….

Sticking with the sex theme, Flashy Flaps herself, made an announcement larger than her escaping left labia. Yes, she’s having a BABY. Congratulations Edna and Reid on your new cash cow baby. You sure are in the right place to get tips on selling your kids childhood for cash parenting.

Rumor has it, Tarryn may be heading for divorce and is doing an Edna at the gym. Showing your flaps is so last month Tarryn.

The smut reading, cupcake munching mumfluencer is still ensuring her counsellor is never out of a job by still doing absolutely nothing to change her current state. Oh sorry forgive me, she did a walk with her brother lover…. once. Ronan and Chloe got to see how normal kids live at camp for a few days but have returned to their narcissist mother and the same boring lunchboxes every day.

Poor Nepo-Baby Millie finally stood her ground and told Bambam that no one puts her in the back seat, well that sounds better than admitting she was likely dumped for the hired help. Off she stomped with step daddies money to find herself again and patronise her followers again.

Erin has the world’s tallest 17-month-old…oh wait…erm no she doesn’t. She is just once again confirming her stupidity. Turns out he’s just on average, no big story here, so find a new hobby Erin.

Finau continues trying to convince everyone and herself that giving up her kids was the best thing for her and Chicken Seasoning them. She’s sick, again. Depressed, again. Overweight, again. Jobless, again. Taking handouts, again. Lazy, again.

Ellie is still selling reduced to clear candles and still not pregnant, despite no her best effort, Renee is still raging at the world, Elle managed to take the TWINS for a walk without the iPads, Katie Hawkey has moved from delivering alive babies to sharing photos of dead babies and Marnie is turning overpriced beanies into overpriced tea cosy's that absolutely no one will use.

And last but certainly not least, the biggest tit award this month goes to our very own Mother Teresa. Yes thats right, take a bow Holly May. You just don’t give a fuck if you lose followers, you just need everyone to post random shit they have found online, that may or may not be factual, about Gaza. Such selfless behaviour really makes our hearts warm. By the way, what exactly did Simone’s lawyers say to you?

Take care TC’s and remember to protect your space over these next few weeks as our favourite influencers start shilling more shit than usual in the lead up to Christmas. You’ve got this!

And the Oscar for Narration of a docu-series goes to:

You!

 

[HelloFreshDiscountCode]

Elle herself is always making jokes about needing alcohol to get through her day with the twinnies. I honestly find influencers who make jokes like this regarding parenting is really poor taste and in no way funny.

The “mummy needs a wine” trend needs to die.
I hate seeing people acting like they need alcohol to get through the day.

 

[#blooms]

I’m getting irrationally annoyed at Finau spelling potato with an ‘e’. It’s so small and insignificant yet it’s annoying me so much

 

[DuchessofOceania]

She’s really just doing it to try and get mentions on tattle now so she has some drama to talk about.

Can’t you guys who are wanting to discuss her start a thread as suggested by others last time you brought her up (or she brought herself up)

Stop risking this one cos you lot have no self control, admins have been crystal clear many times on many threads

 

[HelloFreshDiscountCode]

I’m just going to throw it out there that I’m really disappointed in the lack of tea and information coming from your “sources” and “in the wild sightings”. You guys are as bad as the influencers fishing for engagement.
Give us the goss or get out

 

[influencedforlyfe]

There’s a house a few doors down from 5millionkids that my SIL put an offer on recently….I only know as she was showing me photos etc then was chatting to one of the neighbours about the neighborhood & they mentioned the family with the football team who lived a few doors down who were from NZ.
Might have new neighbours for Xmas Cassie

 

[ThanksForTheSuggestion]

WTAF is happening! Iyia Liu has her home available for photo shoots! It’s a bloody GJ Gardner Home that is not landscaped nor does it have concrete outside or a pool! However it does have a Springfree trampoline. It’s called DELMONT ESTATE. Seriously what is she inhaling

She’s copying olivegrovehome. That’s where shine on, flooring xtra, bonds, Addison etc all go for their photo shoots! And Sophie’s home is amazing for it!
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I would nominate Gemma McCaw as most authentic influencer. She doesn’t promote much, doesn’t exploit her children and keeps it real. She’s happy to share she skips a rugby game, goes home from holiday early, misses out on sleep because of her kids and just embraces the realness of parenting. Yes they probably have more money than most of us put together but they don’t flash it and brag. She’s not on insta that often because she’s busy living life. That’s as real as it seems to get in these times

 

[mostlyheretolurk]

Not trying to start a politics debate but fucking Mike King gets $6 million a year thanks to the NZ First Coalition agreement

Would be okay if Mike King actually spends the six million on counselling but that tosser will be saving most of it. Bet the wage bill for his five staff jumps even higher (currently over 580k).

 

[Influencer5019]

Not trying to start a politics debate but fucking Mike King gets $6 million a year thanks to the NZ First Coalition agreement

Noooooo is this a joke?? They provide 3 sessions for teenagers and no more. It's a silly charity and their work isn't effective for the vast majority of people.

Man Mike King has always been good at making friends in high places, I guess that's how you get that Government coin...
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I would love to know the story with Starship and Hannah’s AD. Do charity’s actually pay influencers? I thought Hannah wouldn’t be that low but she is desperate to get her influencering career off the ground.

Yep. They charge an arm and a leg too. I work for a charity and approached a few influencers about promoting a really cool free mental health product produced by the charity I work for (which is a charity most kiwis would be familiar with). None of them were interested in doing it without significant payment. Which is so wild to me because when actual proper celebrities (sports stars, musicians) do charity work they never charge a cent!!

 

[alotofyouwereasking🙃]

Why do I feel like this she has exaggerated this post severely.
What work ? buying a chair and fiddling with a website.
Not sure how she will handle a newborn if they ever have kids.
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Nobody is ever really ready for the chaos a newborn brings and lots of people totally underestimate it. So as much as I don’t really want to be one of those people to say she has no idea what busy is until she has a baby lol I
honestly agree with you. There is something about her ‘work’ and how she constantly thinks she’s beyond busy or stressed with evvvvverrrrything she needs to tick off her to do list but still manages to fluff around rearranging her bedroom, go op shopping, sleep in etc that is just mind boggling to me. It’s like she’s 20 and working in her uni holidays and thinking she has lots of “life admin” to do like getting her eyebrows done, not 30 and wanting to start a family.

I really hope she does get pregnant and wish her the best in her TTC journey. I’m sure she will be a good mum. But yeah, she’s on another planet to the rest of us.

 

[happysmellybelly]

I love Emily.

"I don’t have any interest in shilling crap on Instagram, even if it’s a great earner."

Did you hear that Christian Babes? Or Katie Hawkey?

Emily has just influenced me to buy some stationery packs for a local school.

 

[stanleycupgal]

It's so sad how all these influencers get so much stuff they can actually afford.
I would think so much more highly of companies that gave holidays / trampolines / toys to families that could never afford them. If it's about content, I would far rather see a little girl who has never got a new toy telling the world what it meant for her, rather than kids like Cassarahs literally getting yet another toy they will play with for 5 minutes before mummy goes and does her next shopping haul.
Or a family who has battled sickness or loss get a few days on the Disney cruise. All those influencers can afford that stuff anyway, it's so disingenuous.
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And as for Cassie, she's the classic case of a Z list celebrities who complain about the press yet actively court them for content and relevance.

I loved one of the anon questioners asking why she loves living in meth city aka Mandurah She talks about Hamilton like it's the Bronx of New York!

She also says they are so financially able and better off, yet live in a rented house with very little furniture? And building a playroom at the scooter shop??? Not really my dream life but you do you babes.

 

[askmeanythingbutalsodon't]

Does a few days of mahi and reckons it deserves a massage
I just can't with her. She is the epitome of privileged chch white girl.

 

[hereforfreestuff]

If this doesn’t sum up influencers man….
Cookie ad.
Than this….
I hate it here.

 

[WatermelonSugar22]

Wtf did I just read. Hubby and I own a construction business, I could never imagine in my widest dreams telling strangers on the internet how much we earn week by week. What is wrong with her? She seriously needs to do a lot of growing up by the sounds of it.

She thinks she’s rich because she married a hardworking guy. Without him she’s be stuffed financially because their business is entirely based around his skill set, not hers (what is hers? It ain’t writing!) She doesn’t seem to understand about taxes and levies and about how sick/vacation leave doesn’t exist for them anymore. I’ll let her figure that out on her own. But hey, if she feels like she’s Scrooge diving into a money pile then good on her. She’ll need it, she’s got six kids’ worth of expenses and a diet of Muffin Break to pay for.

But hey, if they’re so loaded then I look forward to seeing her kids with fully furnished bedrooms!

Oh and yes, it’s weird that she targets her content for us, she should target her paying patreons before they all leave!
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I’ve got an idea. All the people here wanting to discuss this, set up your own tattle thread. See how long it lasts and whether it gets shut down. And keep it out of here. Thanks

Amen! So sick of the same people trying to chat about her on here. Go form a Facebook group and stop trying to make fetch happen, she’s not going to happen!