New baby / post birth advice

[Emzykins]

Did any of you find their sleep improves after starting solids?

Sadly not. My daughter is 21 months and still loves an early wake. Sometimes it can help especially in the early days but I don’t think it’s been proven to be a long term fix (although they’re all so different!!).

My honest advice to anyone is don’t be afraid to say NO. If someone asks to come over or whatever and you feel like you have to say yes, snap out of that mindset and do what you feel comfortable with (I’m talking about the first few weeks). And I know it’s cliche but sleep when then baby sleeps. I didn’t do this, I tried to get housework etc done when my baby slept but honestly looking back, all of those things could of waited. I’d honestly do anything to go back in time and just lounge around with a newborn on my chest. I was so adamant I wanted to be up and out all the time that I ran myself into the ground and I’ve really struggled with fatigue ever since and my little one is almost 2. Hang in there, the sleep gets better, everything really is just a phase! Don’t be afraid to cry if you’re feeling low, your feelings are valid and you’re only human!

 

[Definitelyme]

@LilyRose1234 sorry you’re in so much pain, the early days are really hard with breastfeeding, and new motherhood in general. @littlepup has given superb advice (as always). I would say that if you are very full, baby may be finding it really hard to latch and you could express off a little to soften your boobs and make it easier. And if you want to bf, keep latching and unlatching until it works. Some feeds I would have unlatched a baby up to 10 times to get it right. Remember you’re both learning

If you want to switch to formula make sure you take care of your boobs so you don’t end up with mastitis

 

[LilyRose1234]

@LilyRose1234 sorry you’re in so much pain, the early days are really hard with breastfeeding, and new motherhood in general. @littlepup has given superb advice (as always). I would say that if you are very full, baby may be finding it really hard to latch and you could express off a little to soften your boobs and make it easier. And if you want to bf, keep latching and unlatching until it works. Some feeds I would have unlatched a baby up to 10 times to get it right. Remember you’re both learning

If you want to switch to formula make sure you take care of your boobs so you don’t end up with mastitis

Thank you it is tougher than I expected in a different way - the cluster feeding is really a struggle, she just goes for hours without much of a break, which is apparently normal but quite difficult to cope with! No doubt it’ll get easier and her cute little face makes it all worth it

 

[Definitelyme]

Thank you it is tougher than I expected in a different way - the cluster feeding is really a struggle, she just goes for hours without much of a break, which is apparently normal but quite difficult to cope with! No doubt it’ll get easier and her cute little face makes it all worth it

It definitely does get easier, and I think the first baby you breastfeed it can be a shock as to just HOW MUCH they need you. I know that’s true of all newborns, regardless of feeding method, but with bf babies it can seem relentless and all encompassing because nobody else can feed them, and it can like you don’t get a single second ti breathe. I’ve been there, I’ve cried, I’ve thrown temper tantrums (), I’ve shouted. But it does pass, and the pain should ease if latch is able to be fixed. I always find newborns have a shallow latch and it can be hard work to get it deeper to ease that pain.

their little smooshy baby faces do make up for a LOT such kissy cheeks

 

[Macmama]

Thank you it is tougher than I expected in a different way - the cluster feeding is really a struggle, she just goes for hours without much of a break, which is apparently normal but quite difficult to cope with! No doubt it’ll get easier and her cute little face makes it all worth it

Distinctly remember handing our middle son (my first to breastfeed) to DH at 3am and telling him I was going to clip my boobs to the washing line, it'd be more comfortable and I might get some sleep. Those early weeks are SO demanding and it's such a change, but as the others have said, so so worth it

their little smooshy baby faces do make up for a LOT such kissy cheeks

I swear, every post of yours I read, and there goes my ovaries I'm going to name #5 after you at this rate

 

[mg89]

5.05am wake up this morning, wide awake and would not go down. Getting earlier by the day!!

 

[Heybooboo]

5.05am wake up this morning, wide awake and would not go down. Getting earlier by the day!!

Have you got a black out blind?

 

[Definitelyme]

5.05am wake up this morning, wide awake and would not go down. Getting earlier by the day!!

That’s a loooong day for you. Hope you’re not too knackered.

 

[moimoi]

Tomorrow I’m booked in for a mother and baby group, I’m bricking it. The breastfeeding support nurse pretty much forced me to join one last week at his weigh in as I had a wobble and think she just wants me to get out of the house.

I’m the most socially awkward person at the best of times nevermind stressing with a 6 week old baby. Worried that it’s just gonna parents of older children, any meltdowns (Went to the Coop a few days ago and he cried the place down, my anxiety hit another level) and that I’m probably gonna have to breastfeed him there.

 

[Definitelyme]

Tomorrow I’m booked in for a mother and baby group, I’m bricking it. The breastfeeding support nurse pretty much forced me to join one last week at his weigh in as I had a wobble and think she just wants me to get out of the house.

I’m the most socially awkward person at the best of times nevermind stressing with a 6 week old baby. Worried that it’s just gonna parents of older children, any meltdowns (Went to the Coop a few days ago and he cried the place down, my anxiety hit another level) and that I’m probably gonna have to breastfeed him there.

I hate people. I am so awkward, not a natural people person, I have no desire to make new friends, I am awful at small talk, and spending time with people I dunno is my idea of hell. So I’m not cut out for mum and baby groups. BUT I did go to them! And I didn’t find it so bad because you have your little buddy with you, you can use them as an excuse to leave any convo (oh we need a nappy change!) and you can chat to them if nobody else! And mostly at those groups all people talk about is feeding/sleeping/babies in general so makes it a bit easier to chat.

My breasts have probably been seen by half the nation at this stage remember that at a mum and baby group everyone has to feed their baby, no matter what method they use, and nobody will be looking or judging you. It’s natural to feel nervous, but I always think better a boob out than a screaming baby It’s awful when they scream when you’re out, I need super strength deodorant when I take a baby out I end up dripping if they start screaming! But we have all been there and the other mums will 100% understand. You can try it once and if you hate it, you never have to go again.

 

[StrawberryCream]

Tomorrow I’m booked in for a mother and baby group, I’m bricking it. The breastfeeding support nurse pretty much forced me to join one last week at his weigh in as I had a wobble and think she just wants me to get out of the house.

I’m the most socially awkward person at the best of times nevermind stressing with a 6 week old baby. Worried that it’s just gonna parents of older children, any meltdowns (Went to the Coop a few days ago and he cried the place down, my anxiety hit another level) and that I’m probably gonna have to breastfeed him there.

I find baby groups so intimidating to go to as always scared I’m going to be standing on my own and it will be very cliquey, I forced myself to go to a few with my first and they were fine, all about the babies / toddlers and there were lots of mums there that had went alone and were really friendly, hopefully you enjoy it and if you don’t you don’t have to go back at least you gave it a go

 

[Icbaaaa]

Tomorrow I’m booked in for a mother and baby group, I’m bricking it. The breastfeeding support nurse pretty much forced me to join one last week at his weigh in as I had a wobble and think she just wants me to get out of the house.

I’m the most socially awkward person at the best of times nevermind stressing with a 6 week old baby. Worried that it’s just gonna parents of older children, any meltdowns (Went to the Coop a few days ago and he cried the place down, my anxiety hit another level) and that I’m probably gonna have to breastfeed him there.

I
never wanted to go to them because I'm so awkward and don't like meeting new people either, I'd rather just keep myself to myself but my neighbour and her baby went and invited me. I didn't really know her too well at this point but thought I'll try it and if I don't like it then don't come back. I really did enjoy it, my son was about 8 weeks when we went. There was so much support there from mums, one of them sat and entertained my son whilst I grabbed a hot cuppa and biscuit! Our classes haven't started back here yet because of covid but I'm looking forward to them opening so we can go back with new baby! Don't worry about breastfeeding, plenty of mums do it and no one bat's an eyelid! Good luck

 

[moimoi]

I hate people. I am so awkward, not a natural people person, I have no desire to make new friends, I am awful at small talk, and spending time with people I dunno is my idea of hell. So I’m not cut out for mum and baby groups. BUT I did go to them! And I didn’t find it so bad because you have your little buddy with you, you can use them as an excuse to leave any convo (oh we need a nappy change!) and you can chat to them if nobody else! And mostly at those groups all people talk about is feeding/sleeping/babies in general so makes it a bit easier to chat.

My breasts have probably been seen by half the nation at this stage remember that at a mum and baby group everyone has to feed their baby, no matter what method they use, and nobody will be looking or judging you. It’s natural to feel nervous, but I always think better a boob out than a screaming baby It’s awful when they scream when you’re out, I need super strength deodorant when I take a baby out I end up dripping if they start screaming! But we have all been there and the other mums will 100% understand. You can try it once and if you hate it, you never have to go again.

This is literally me, we haven’t even had anyone visit yet (family live far away, they are asking about visiting and that’s stressing me out! ), midwives and health visitor just don’t seem to get it but I’m so fine with it! I just can’t be arsed with people so mother and baby groups are my worst nightmare. That’s so true about the sweating! Even at the weigh in I was DRIPPING.

I find baby groups so intimidating to go to as always scared I’m going to be standing on my own and it will be very cliquey, I forced myself to go to a few with my first and they were fine, all about the babies / toddlers and there were lots of mums there that had went alone and were really friendly, hopefully you enjoy it and if you don’t you don’t have to go back at least you gave it a go

I was thinking about cancelling but you’re right, might as well give it a go and if I don’t like it then I never gave to go again! I just want to see my son interact with other babies for my own entertainment!

I
never wanted to go to them because I'm so awkward and don't like meeting new people either, I'd rather just keep myself to myself but my neighbour and her baby went and invited me. I didn't really know her too well at this point but thought I'll try it and if I don't like it then don't come back. I really did enjoy it, my son was about 8 weeks when we went. There was so much support there from mums, one of them sat and entertained my son whilst I grabbed a hot cuppa and biscuit! Our classes haven't started back here yet because of covid but I'm looking forward to them opening so we can go back with new baby! Don't worry about breastfeeding, plenty of mums do it and no one bat's an eyelid! Good luck

That’s really good to hear!! I’m glad you ended up enjoying them, fingers crossed it’s not terribly awkward tomorrow and there are some nice people. I think I’ll be ok breastfeeding, I surprised myself at the hospital after giving birth just whipping them out in front of everyone, male and female!

 

[LilyRose1234]

Does anyone use a sleepyhead? Keep hearing rave reviews but they’re quite pricey! Have also seen the Purflo but not sure if that’s as good? Any advice would be much appreciated!

 

[Squiggle]

Does anyone use a sleepyhead? Keep hearing rave reviews but they’re quite pricey! Have also seen the Purflo but not sure if that’s as good? Any advice would be much appreciated!

I got a second hand one, sleepyhead, and my little one settles so well in it. I only use it in the day when I'm around and can keep an eye on him

 

[Macmama]

Does anyone use a sleepyhead? Keep hearing rave reviews but they’re quite pricey! Have also seen the Purflo but not sure if that’s as good? Any advice would be much appreciated!

My brother bought us one for our youngest and it was quickly (but politely) returned to the shop. They are not safe - they are a huge risk for SIDS. As are the beanbags I’ve seen a few friends purchase.

 

[Hbirdette]

My brother bought us one for our youngest and it was quickly (but politely) returned to the shop. They are not safe - they are a huge risk for SIDS. As are the beanbags I’ve seen a few friends purchase.

Completely agree, I know some people use them for supervised naps but I couldn’t guarantee my baby would be supervised. For instance, if I fell asleep during nap time too or just simply wanted to get some housework done, I wouldn’t be able to watch baby like a hawk!

 

[littlepup]

Sleepyheads not for me, I’d never forgive myself if anything happened and I’d ignored the advice. That said, I don’t feel we needed one, if she’d been bad at settling, I’d prob think differently, you try most anything to help a struggling baby - in that instance I’d have looked at the Purflo because It’s supposed to be safer and I couldn’t commit to absolutely constant supervision.

Those who’ve got their periods back, did you have any indication it was coming?

 

[HeyLetsGo]

I’ve got a pureflo, it’s ok I guess? I’m not sure what’s supposed to be so different about it for making babies settle better so maybe not the best person to be giving advice. She sleeps in it fine for a little while, but obviously prefers cuddle naps like most babies.

Honestly, the best thing I’ve found for hands-free napping is a sling. I got a one for £20 from Amazon and it has just transformed my days. Me and the toddler can get up to all sorts while little one naps strapped to me. Also got a hand me down baby Bjorn (it’s been used for all the babies in our family ) and that’s fab for walks too.

 

[mg89]

Does anyone use a sleepyhead? Keep hearing rave reviews but they’re quite pricey! Have also seen the Purflo but not sure if that’s as good? Any advice would be much appreciated!

We got the purflo baby bed which says it's safe for sleeping - was just as pricey, about £140. He never did naps in there as he always contact napped at that age but it helped him at night feel a bit more snug. The snuzpod was too big for him at the start I think!