New baby / post birth advice

[mg89]

this was me last night! I spoke to my hv about it today and she said she’d never heard the term purple crying, but the theory is pretty sound.

Mine too!
It was like a switch went with ours at about 13 weeks, the evening screaming from 6-9 and every morning from 10-12 just stopped I remember telling myself, just get to 12 weeks and it'll all be better!

It's the worst when they're crying so much and nothing soothes them! We used to have to take turns eating dinner or having 5 mins break from it.

 

[OIM]

This is a bit of a personal one but would be really grateful for your opinions. Baby no2 is 5 months this week. With my first our days were full of socialising and baby classes. This time around we have obviously had lockdown to contend with plus my dad died when baby was 2 weeks old. To start with I was booking national trust places and getting us out and about a few times a week and continuing my toddlers acitiviities. As time has gone on I’m finding it harder and harder to motivate myself to do anything for either girl and want to just stay home. Trying to decide if this is because there’s two of them or because there’s something wrong.
I was accessing counselling through the gp but found it was just another demand on my time I couldn’t handle.

 

[Kit123]

Ladies what prams/travel systems do you have for your little ones and how much did you pay? I'm due in July and just started looking for a pram and there's just too much choice!

I brought a second hand Cosatto for £65. I also have a carrier and sling which I love using.

 

[mg89]

I don’t want to scare you, but my son only started sleeping all night at 4.5 (years, not months!) probably from about 2yo it improved to only waking 2-3 times a night and going straight back over with a cuddle. The waking for hours stopped about 20 months, and that was fab as even being woken up 5+ times is better than being awake for 2+ hours every night!

Do you, or would you consider, bed sharing? It’s the only thing that saved my sanity with him. Meant a few minutes extra sleep each side of a waking as I didn’t have to get up.

I do bedshare on the very difficult nights - it used to buy me some extra time and he would wake less but now he seems to wake up just the same amount! It's tricky as he recently learned to roll and now prefers to sleep on his front, which is fine by us, but he takes ages to get comfortable and ends up crying before he gets there. If we roll him back, he rolls to his front within seconds. It's like this phase he needs to get over!

I'm not gonna lie, I really can't have this until he's that age! I naively thought that at 5 months next week we'd be in a better position than calling a night with 4/5 wake ups "a good night!!"

 

[Definitelyme]

Is it a full moon? Having a mare over here too

Must be!! Sorry you’re having a rough day xx

Do you have the wonder weeks app? Could be a load of bs but it helped me with my first as it was nice to have a 'reason' for fussiness

Hope he settles soon also 'tiger in tree' hold is a fav of my boys xx

Yes lots of tiger-ing, to no avail I don’t use the WW app anymore, it definitely fitted well with my eldest, but my second screamed non stop so it got chucked as it was telling me he was in a sunny period and he was being demonic just checked Google and we are in leap 1, so maybe it will end soon (I’m not holding my breath though. The demonic eldest son means I’m prepped for this to last until he’s 2!)

 

[Definitelyme]

I'm 6 days post section and noticed tonight my wound is burning and (TMI) about 2cm of the wound has reopened more towards the middle. I've to check again in an hour and call them back. Has this ever happened to anyone and do they need to restitch it? Also noticed the end of my wound it's really red and a stitch is coming out. Feel like this is karma cos I thought my healing was going so well and had no complaints at all about it

Oh flip that sounds horrendous. Never happened to me but I hope you get sorted quickly. With the stitch at the end I just remembered with my last section I was concerned about the end stitch as it seemed very “bumpy” and didn’t dissolve like the others. But the HV assured me the end stitch is a knot and so is sometimes larger, more red etc, and it can poke out.

I don’t think the video worked?
She isn’t worried about being held at all, she’ll go to anyone but equally happy to be in her bouncer. Because of multi generations living together, there’s 7 in our bubble. I can hand her over to the in-laws, only get her back all day for feeds and she’s not worried at all. I couldn’t take her for a quick cuddle and pass her along without feeding however or she’d get upset. I actually wish she was a bit more clingy to me and would have a cuddle more without wanting boob.


Thank you, I think I’ll order a new, less unwieldily one from Amazon and try again. Putting her in once asleep hadn’t occurred to me

Maybe look at a close caboo. They are basically pre-tied stretchy slings which I know a lot of people love takes the faff out of tying.

Newborn Baby Carriers

When out and about with your little one, it's important to keep them safe. Comfortable, safe and stylish carriers to suit you & your little one's needs.

closeparent.com

Or if it’s just for short periods a ring sling may suit you well as I find them very easy to pop on. I don’t find them comfy for long term wearing though. Again, I would usually put baby in when asleep, so quite handy round the house for when they fall asleep on me (we only ever contact nap) and then I need to do something. It’s very easy to put on while holding them.

 

[Hbirdette]

I have the opposite problem. I couldn’t eat much in pregnancy from sickness then feeling constantly full. Now I want to eat everything, especially chocolate and sweets & especially when feeding. I didn’t gain too much In pregnancy but have gained since I think
It’s hard to know what to expect in terms of getting back to weight/shape - anything online isn’t real life, I can’t seem to find any pics from just average women rather than fitness bods or people who’s job is to look good. People seem to only post if they‘ve got something to show off I think....unless everyone snaps back and I’m in the minority

Ahhh I wouldn’t worry AT ALL about what is expected post partum... there is no right or wrong time frame! You are right though, people online seem to love showing their post baby bodies as if it’s a competition I just keep telling myself they all use photoshop and then I unfollow if they make me feel like shit

I'm never hungry at the minute, I have tea with everyone else because it’s there, but don’t eat much else (other than a few snacks)

Same! I only seem to eat my evening meal because that’s when my husband is home but I can get to 5pm and suddenly realise I’ve not eaten. Although I am currently eating a bowl of pasta right now

 

[Octopies]

Tw death / fear of dying

Hi all I’m 11 weeks PP and really happy but for the past few weeks been getting a bit emotional almost every day, usually teary, as I’ve been thinking a lot more about my own mortality. Mainly about my daughter being without me, dying whilst she’s so young and her not remembering me etc.

I am just wondering if this is a normal part of becoming a mother or whether a red flag for PND. I definitely feel like a more emotional person since having her (can’t watch certain things on tv etc).

a friend of mine with 4 kids told me having children made her an emotional wreck so I wasn’t sure whether this was just part of the transition of having someone else to care for. I’ve not had any warning signs for PND and feel happy in myself otherwise.

have any other new parens experienced this? X

 

[Pinkii]

With my first i felt like the sleep regressions were never ending, we would come out of one, have a good few weeks and then another one would happen.

I remember reading online that most people only go through one of the regressions but not us, we went through it all!

good luck to everyone going through it, hopefully its just a short phase

little moan alert - I was really looking forward to going through the newborn stage this time, knowing what i’m doing, even looking forward to the night feeds etc and generally being able to enjoy it more.

we had a good 2 weeks and then silent reflux hit and I feel its been taken away from me, and all i’m seeing online is everyone enjoying their newborn cuddles and days with their babies, i know most put their best bits online but i just feel sad That i can’t enjoy it, everything is tough, she has to be fed upright at all time so feel like i can’t engage with her when feeding,

she doesn’t like to be held much due to pressue on stomach and will constantly squirm in whatever position i hold her, can’t lie flat on her back at all, so nights are tough as I have to stay up all night holding her up right and she isn’t even that comfortable most of the time, and mainly its just tough seeing her in discomfort and unhappy all the time

my first had reflux and grew out of it by 4/5 months so hoping she will grow out of quickly too.

 

[HoneyBee29]

I think we’ve probably all been there. With my first we had so much stuff we thought we needed and realistically we didn’t use half of it. The Bumbo is an example - absolutely stupid piece of kit that was all the rage when I had my first. Some people loved them but i did not

I just had my first in March and tbh we didn’t go mad with stuff we just got the basics we needed. The only things was I bought far too many clothes and she’s barely wore half of them and then the bottles and steriliser and also my pram I got a silver cross 3 in 1 and it’s great for the car seat when your out just putting it onto the pram frame but she literally only got about 11/12 weeks out of the carrycot before she was too big for it and she’s too small for the seat unit atm only does from 6 months up so I had to buy her a smaller buggy to do until she fits in the seat unit of the bigger pram I kind of wish I had of just saved money and just bought a car seat on its own and a smaller/lighter buggy you can use from birth probably would have worked out cheaper as well

I got given a nappy bin with my second and so many people told me how useful it was.
Never used it.
So much easier to grab a nappy bag and throw it in the bin!

I got told they where great too and never used it I’ve a tommee tippee one it just seems like a faff to me plus the refills for it are like £20 each

 

[Hbirdette]

I just had my first in March and tbh we didn’t go mad with stuff we just got the basics we needed. The only things was I bought far too many clothes and she’s barely wore half of them and then the bottles and steriliser and also my pram I got a silver cross 3 in 1 and it’s great for the car seat when your out just putting it onto the pram frame but she literally only got about 11/12 weeks out of the carrycot before she was too big for it and she’s too small for the seat unit atm only does from 6 months up so I had to buy her a smaller buggy to do until she fits in the seat unit of the bigger pram I kind of wish I had of just saved money and just bought a car seat on its own and a smaller/lighter buggy you can use from birth probably would have worked out cheaper as well



I got told they where great too and never used it I’ve a tommee tippee one it just seems like a faff to me plus the refills for it are like £20 each

I’m glad it’s not just my baby that didn’t get much use out of the carry cot! When we bought the pram they were like this will easily last you til 6 months! 14 weeks later with a very long baby

Wow baby B has been sooooo Unsettled today, he’s knackered. Went on a really long walk at lunch time and he was wide awake and he will only settle on husband and I at the mo... nearly bedtime. I think today deserves a glass of wine!

 

[WhatABore]

Thank you so much for the advice everyone!

I actually already have the car seat and opted for the Joie 360 as it’s been highly recommended to me by everyone. So the car seat part of the travel system I’m not too worried about as we won’t use it much (other than if my partner uses his car and they go out without me). I did suddenly wonder though, when baby is born will they allow us to just carry her out to the car when we leave?! Or do we need something to transport her in from the ward to the car? Ugh so many things to think about!

I live in the city so need a pram that’s good for pavements etc. I saw loads of recommendations for the Mamas and Papas Ocarro one on the pregnancy thread, it’s a lot of money but I guess it’s worth paying a bit more so that it lasts!

With my hospital, you have to have the car seat to leave.. However, if it's one that you don't take out the car... They send someone out with you.

 

[Tui]

Ok, so I was admitted with reduced movements last night. Diagnosed with preeclampsia and they have scheduled my C-section for tomorrow.


Help
Shocked, nervous, excited..all in one!

Eek good luck! So exciting

 

[Platypusfattypus]

With the first poo, I always recommend eating lots of things like dried fruit during your hospital stay and afterwards. It can help keep things moving, and don’t think you’re out of the woods when you’re home - it takes time for your body to get back to normal again in all departments! (I had a particularly horrendous experience with my first, 3 weeks after birth!)

And drink too. We seem to neglect ourselves. I used to put bottles of water everywhere, by my bed, by my seat, in the changing bag etc so I could always remind myself to drink.

 

[Heybooboo]

Glad for this thread.

am meant to be getting induced in a few weeks, but have heard horror stories from my 2 friends about how they weren’t given any pain relief (not even gas and air) till delivery room!

can anyone shed light on their induction experience?

i have already had one baby, was meant to get induced with her but she came early and it all happened so quickly so laboured at home and was ready to push by the time i got to hospital, managed to have gas and air at the end!

If I went into natural labour i think i’d be more relaxed but have heard how Intense it is with induction and think I’ll definitely need something earlier in that case.

more worried about labour this time around tbh because I know what’s in store

I was induced and personally only had period type cramps so I could cope fine until they popped my waters at delivery suite it fully kicked in but I had gas and air until epidural and it was fine Also a wimp with pain but it was totally managaeable, also something changes in you like you can cope all of a sudden maybe instinct? I’m not sure but you will be fine
It took 3 days but it was quite chilled out looking back now

a week before being induced we went to a birthday party where all these women told me there horror stories of being induced and really panicked Me but it wasn’t like that atall in the end. I can’t compare to a normal birth but it felt so safe and controlled to be induced

 

[littlepup]

At your 6 week review as you're not technically supposed to have sex until then I believe

They’ve changed the advice now to when you feel ready.
(Not sure why though, having a dinner plate sized wound in your womb where the placenta detached is not a smart environment for inviting infection obvs even if your bits feel ok! )

 

[moimoi]

My little girl is 5 weeks and we started giving her a dummy last week, I wasn’t going to but she was so unsettled at night after her bottles and constantly sucking her fingers. It’s been great for us because I no longer have to rock her to sleep after every bottle for 30+ minutes and she’ll happily go straight into her Moses basket with the dummy in! don’t feel bad at all, if it works for you and your baby and he is happy with the dummy and feeding well then I don’t see a problem

He’s definitely a lot more settled and can now drift off with a dummy in his gob as opposed to constant nipple.

Just reading all the dummy shaming comments online about it messing breastfeeding if you give them it under 4 weeks had me

 

[HoneyBee29]

I’m only 10 weeks post partum but had my first period around 7 weeks and mine was like that, light at first then VERY heavy, probably more bleeding than i got after birth and lasted about 5/6 days and then I had spotting a few days after it finished.

my periods have always been very light and 3 days maximum so was a bit worried, I was going to wait till my next period to see what that’s like before I see GP, but like you I dont want to go on the pill either.

Ive read it can be normal after having a baby to have a few days heavy flow, I’m just not used to it because I’ve always had what I’d say ‘normal’ periods came bang on time every month would have 2/3 days of medium flow I’d say, a normal sized pad would hold it but I’m getting leaks constantly when it’s heavy now and always paranoid about what to wear if I’ve to go out in case I leak I can’t use tampons atm cause I’d a 4th degree tear that I’m still having problems with healing around the perinium/vagina and Ive been told not to use them until it’s fully healed so have to use pads I feel rotten like when it’s heavy cause I feel like I need to shower 3 times a day I’m gonna mention it to my health visitor and see what she says before I go to a gp

 

[Hbirdette]

Going to join this as I’m newly pg. my first is almost 9 so I’m starting over from scratch it feels!

Welcome! There is a pregnancy thread on here too

 

[StrawberryCream]

Hey I wasn't sure whether to make a separate thread or just post in here! Someone close to me is due in a couple of months (her first) and I'd love to get her some thoughtful gifts nearer the time.

What have you got that you loved or what do you wish someone got for you? Do you prefer practical gifts or more pampering ones? I don't have kids myself so need all the help I can get! Thank you!

I think boots vouchers are good as they do lots of baby essentials and clothes and also make up, perfumes, pamper sets for mum so she could decide wether to buy baby stuff or treat herself (personally I’d treat myself )