New baby and post birth advice #58 Where have all the dummies gone?!

[opintionatedperson]

When do you start not wanting to murder your significant other? Asking for a friend

 

[raspberryjuice]

Thank you everyone, the foot, bum, back, head method and then hand on his belly seems to have worked because he’s currently having his first sleep in his Moses basket

 

[justonemorepage]

Christ. Today can get in the bin. I'm 100% burnt out. My OH is usually amazing but in true male style always puts himself first. He's the first to shower, the first to eat. In his eyes I "have all day" to do what I want. Why don't these men realise it's nigh on impossible to do anything with a baby stuck to your hip all day. I've barely eaten today, I have a banging headache. He's fucked off out and it's 6pm and still no sight of him. I don't know when I will eat tonight. He just doesn't consider anything but himself most of the time. Rant over. Sorry.

 

[watermelon sugar]

So last night when I came on and said I had to stay in hospital - about an hour later they said I could go home! I’d only had my emergency section at 1:27am and we were told we can go home at 8pm and we were gone by 9:30. They did make us wait a while because they put on all the paperwork that she is a boy. She is definitely a she But anyway last night was quite tough, a part of me wishes we stayed in hospital cos I didn’t feel ready to be at home! We stayed downstairs and at about 4am I really struggled getting upstairs to go to the loo I’ve just been doing little and often, and keeping on top of my pain relief. Midwife came round and I had a little cry - just because the section was a shock and unexpected and very painful (ended up being put to sleep cos I could feel it) but I’m enjoying baby cuddles and my partner is being great. Hope I perk up soon!!

Thank you for all of your advice, I’ve took all of it on board!

 

[Pontiac_Bandit]

So last night when I came on and said I had to stay in hospital - about an hour later they said I could go home! I’d only had my emergency section at 1:27am and we were told we can go home at 8pm and we were gone by 9:30. They did make us wait a while because they put on all the paperwork that she is a boy. She is definitely a she But anyway last night was quite tough, a part of me wishes we stayed in hospital cos I didn’t feel ready to be at home! We stayed downstairs and at about 4am I really struggled getting upstairs to go to the loo I’ve just been doing little and often, and keeping on top of my pain relief. Midwife came round and I had a little cry - just because the section was a shock and unexpected and very painful (ended up being put to sleep cos I could feel it) but I’m enjoying baby cuddles and my partner is being great. Hope I perk up soon!!

Thank you for all of your advice, I’ve took all of it on board!

Congratulations! You've been through a lot so I'm glad you've got support, and although it's tough try to do as little as possible for a few days so your body can crack on with healing
---
Baby bandit turned one yesterday! We had a little party at home and he was so excited by everything absolutely exhausted today so we're having a quiet day at home playing with his new toys! I can't believe my little baby is one

 

[fudgebox]

omg we’ve been stopped by so many people!!! I must have had the same convo with about 30 old women who stuck their head in the pram yesterday! And I’ve never heard the expression ‘she’s a little dot’ before but apparently it’s popular among the oldies. Also some people ask some personal questions!! I picked my four year old up yesterday and his stand in teacher was quizzing me all ‘how much did she weigh?’ ‘was she prem?’ ‘are you feeding herself yourself?’ ‘why did you give birth so early?’ Mind your own business luv and just tell me my babies cute!!

Are you feeding them yourself is the most annoying question!!! Yes I am feeding him myself with a bottle of formula!!! Back off nosey Parkers

 

[Nosysamsie]

Woke up so happy I could cry
Little one slept from 6.30pm to 6.30am, in her own cot, without waking once!!
After a week of horrid sleep thanks to screaming & ending up co-sleeping (HA!) I've woke up feeling like a new woman. Granted I have work tonight & I'm gonna be knackered coz it's been a 6.30am start, but woohoo for actual sleep!!! (Albeit only 6.5 hours of sleep thanks to a cough and checking she was ok because I'm used to waking up multiple times a night now )

 

[Spencerskates]

The back to work conversations just prove that there’s no right or wrong and you’ll find what works best for you and your family!

For me, I think I’d feel happier about working if I didn’t resent my job and the way I was treated through my pregnancy and maternity so much. But like another poster said, I have no real career aspirations and my goal in life has always been to be a Mum, and that feels stronger after a TTC struggle and difficult pregnancy.

 

[Spencerskates]

Baby Skates is one today! I can’t believe my little boy is a whole year old already, he’s such a dream.


Although I’m now reading about the 13 month sleep regression and panicking! He hasn’t hit any sleep regression so far, so im hoping he’ll be okay

 

[jolly_parsley]

Lads (ladies) it is done!! It was a fasting one but didn’t have to wait 2 hours so no idea why they couldn’t let me do the non-fasting one lol and meant I didn’t need to pack all my shit Thankfully he guzzled down 160ml just before I left so - aside from some slight car unhappiness - he was happy. Rewarding myself with Starbucks (if it turns out I have diabetes I will cry lmao)! So relieved

 

[raspberryjuice]

@raspberryjuice who checked for tongue tie? Did they put their finger in his mouth? I’m only asking because the majority of midwives aren’t trained to spot it.
if his nappy output in fine then he doesn’t need formula. I’d just keep trying with the boob!

A doctor came down from paeds to check and did the finger in the mouth thing.

Thank you so much for all the advice. I ignored all the interfering ward staff and managed to get him to have a 5 min feed this afternoon doing it the way we were yesterday. Nothing like yesterday’s feeds but it’s a start. I know they mean well but it’s just caused us both no end of stress today

We’re waiting to go home now so I will just snuggle on the sofa with him for the next few days and work out our own way of doing it. I’ve got plenty of colostrum harvested and will try and get a bit more before milk comes in so we’ve got that to help us if needed rather than resorting to formula like they made us feel we had to do today. I’ve got nothing against formula and if we can’t get it sussed that’s obviously how we’ll go but I’m really hoping we can get back to how he was doing yesterday because he took to it so well

 

[Spencerskates]

Absolutely traumatic parenting moment yesterday! Don’t read ahead if you’re eating…

Baby Skates was just in a nappy and tshirt, chilling in his walker while I washed the bottles. I’d heard him do a poo but finished rinsing the bottles then went to go change him. Imagine the horror on my face when I realised that it had not only completely leaked out of the nappy and all down his legs and the floor, but that he’d then been standing in it and spreading it around the carpet🫠🫠

 

[WeepingCassandra]

New thread, same problems.

 

[WotsitG1]

Went to a baby class today…. Another mum there lecturing others about organic food and how they and their baby will only eat organic…. Mean while baby wotsit has canned macaroni and cheese tonight because I’m done today, my husband seems to be having some kinda breakdown and well I just cba! Now im feeling kinda guilty as he scoffs into it!

 

[watermelon sugar]

Newborn sleep deprivation is hilarious - just been feeding baby Watermelon and my fella rolled over in his sleep and went ‘I am Groot … haha … I ! Am ! Groot!’ and carried on snoring away

 

[Lechat]

Hi all,
New to the thread as baby chat arrived a week ago. He’s my first and he’s gorgeous and very glad he’s ok. He was slightly early and labour was pretty awful as needed an assisted delivery after a few days labouring in a lot of pain where I basically didn’t sleep and had nothing left to give when pushing time came. I feel there were some delays and errors made in my care so I’ve asked the midwife for a post birth debrief. Did any one have one and did it help?
I know it won’t change the outcome but I want to talk it over and maybe get some questions answered if I can but just don’t know if I’ll get fobbed off…

 

[opintionatedperson]

I really hope this wouldn't happen, but I'm feeling very down in the last few days. I barely have the energy to get up . I don't want to go for walks and feeling extremely lonely I've just munched on a half pack of biscuits as well and I just feel like utter shite

 

[Nosysamsie]

KW rant time...

I love my husband to bits, and for the most part he is wonderful, and he is a great dad. Buy by heck do I want to murder him today.

It's 5.30pm, baby is only just getting fed because I left it to him to do whilst I did some housework and he just let baby get upset instead of thinking she needs her tea. He has been on his phone most of the day, checking football scores, watching cricket, checking his dream team, watching the horses, whilst little one has played with me.
When I finally pulled him up on it, because I am sick of being the present parent, he gets defensive and throws the "I'm tired" or "I have no time" card. I've just shown him his screen time for the day & he's convinced it's a lie. I've had to walk away and do the housework he promised to do at 7am because I want to scream at him.

I'm sick of having the same argument every single week. I just want one weekend where I can sit back, have an ice cold drink (I don't drink hot drinks) and relax whilst he plays, but apparently he needs me to tell him what to do.

And to top it off tomorrow he'll get the "your such a good dad" treatment at his parents just because he's carried her through the door, when let's be honest, it's because of me she's thriving, because I'm the one encouraging her all the time whilst he sits back on his fucking phone.

 

[WotsitG1]

Baby wotsit has infected chickenpox. He will not go to sleep in his cot, I manage to get half an hour out of him and he’s back up, rock him back to sleep back in cot and back awake. Starting to feel desperate. In the day he won’t let me put him down at all. Never seen him this poorly

 

[watermelon sugar]

There’s a special place in hell for other halves who happily snore away whilst you’re sleep deprived doing the night feed