New baby and post birth advice #58 Where have all the dummies gone?!

[Nosysamsie]

KW rant happening...

Spoiler: KW Rant

So yet again my hubby has a dodgy stomach so hes spent until 4pm in bed. He then comes downstairs and sits on the sofa on his phone. Little one has refused pretty much all her naps, shes teething and shes getting over HFMD so its been a full on day, plus i had birthday party clean up to properly finish, as well as usual sunday jobs.
He is now playing hard done by because he cheesed himself and flared up his IBD and im the problem because im mad that he is moping on his phone when he could at least play with baby.
i mean ive even had to take little one into the utility room to put clothes on the airer because god forbid he was left with his child. And then there's making all the meals. Weekends are meant to be our shared parenting days, yet it's another weekend where I feel it's landed on me again.
im exhausted and fed up of feeling like i have 2 children, the 1 year old being the easiest to look after.

 

[opintionatedperson]

Am I an asshole to be shutting out people from my life if they didn't really bother with me during pregnancy or pre pregnancy? We never had any visitors pre pregnancy and now weve baby the texts are coming and I feel like an asshole for saying no .. but part of me is like I shouldn't as I wouldn't be a hugely socialable person. I've always wanted to do bits with my partner and at the weekend wed always go for a walk and a bite to eat, now baby is getting older were bringing baby along. But people expect us to stay at home and wait for their visit, my partner is a people pleaser and thinks we should entertain but I'm like why should we change our behaviours. We've always kinda did our own thing without much family intervention, why should we start now .....

 

[WeHadFunRight]

TF fell asleep in her car seat after swimming, she woke up so I pulled her out and then she promptly fell back asleep on me unexpectedly… this is like the old days

 

[Crones884]

Just a quick one to say thanks to everyone who said babys bedtime would change naturally, she slept from 8pm last night woke at 2 for a feed and slept again til 6. First time ever so thanks again

 

[eppingforestbambi]

Thanks for all the milk duct advice guys - ice is really helping and I just sent my husband out for emergency ibuprofen.

On the strange noises thing.. my baby continually snuffles like a pig slash pug. Sometimes he reminds me of a little alien. Especially when he’s grunting and thrashing at my boob at 3am. He also looks like a little 70 year old man with his bald head. Babies are strange and glorious little things.

 

[Nosysamsie]

Thanks all. I'm mentally struggling with it today. Normally I can shoulder it well but today my happy, good sleeper, good eater baby is just not herself with her inconsolable crying and her refusal to eat. That and yet again my husband "isn't feeling well" and "needing his rest", conveniently on a weekend again, so it's another weekend all on my shoulders. It ends up getting a bit much tbh.

 

[lorballs]

I am driving myself insane my daughter who is 17months I am constantly diagnosing her with stuff fs it’s putting my head away I’m now convinced that she has a genetic disorder as she has big bushy eyebrows. I’m going to book and appointment for the gp to talk about myself I jsut feel like I’m loosing the plot here I feel like there’s something wrong with her all the time

 

[WeHadFunRight]

She messaged me yesterday to say she had thought about baby wotsit and said she’s been thinking I really should get his eyes tested that prehaps he looked her funny because she was a blur to him! I didn’t reply….. she’s spent 10 mins with my child and has him diagnosed with all sorts!

I think you need to tell her very explicitly that this kind of behaviour is not welcome (acceptable or healthy) at all.

TF has a strawberry mark on her hand (well it’s gone now) and a woman at 5’s school told me it was because of all the toxins. I just told her to change the subject because I wasn’t comfortable with her saying things like that about my baby. Some people are dickheads.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Spoiler: Developmental worries

Can’t help but worry about little ones development, he’s just turned 1 and doesn’t pull up, crawl, stand alone etc. I keep seeing videos of people on social media saying how they knew their child was autistic when they were a baby and it’s making me worried? My mum keeps saying oh there is nothing wrong with him, I know there is nothing ‘wrong’ with him but perhaps he does have additional learning needs? I honestly don’t know but the social media posts are just getting in my head I suppose. I also had a friend who’s 1 year old had his review and she reckoned the health visitor said to her oh he definitely doesn’t have autism! When she said she was worried. Would that really say that at 1 years old? Lots of things getting in my head I suppose.
Not always but when he’s sitting he’ll flaps his arms and legs but a few healthcare professionals I’ve raised it with say oh he’s excited hes a baby but I’ve not seen either of my friends babies do it (which is only 2 of them anyway)! I’m not too sure what the point of my post is, but if anyone has advice or knows more on autism or sensory needs than I do I’d be really grateful for some input.

I don't have any experience with any additional needs, and I'm going off a sample size of the 2 children I made but I've definitely noticed a difference between my 2 (1 of each) in terms of development.

He was very laid back and took his time learning everything. She's going at 100mph. So many people have told me that boys tend to be lazier than girls at hitting milestones, and it's definitely my experience so far.

My son also regularly did some of the repetitive hand and foot twirling movements when he got excited. He also went through a phase around 6 or 7 months of hitting his arms hard against his own sides, and when he was about 3 he would bite his own forearm when excited. As far as we're aware he has no additional needs, and he's 7 now and no longer does any of those things.

Unfortunately, social media gets in your head. There are so many people out there publishing "how I knew my baby was autistic before they left the womb" content. As someone else said, most of them are just trying to provoke a reaction.
It also happens a lot on Tattle. People see an influencer's baby flapping their hands and instantly jump to a diagnosis. It's so easy to see how so many people can get themselves worried about it.

Also, I'm pretty sure that Health Visitor shouldn't have said that a child definitely doesn't have Autism at a year old.

 

[Pontiac_Bandit]

Hi all,
I’m 4 months 3 days postpartum, and in the last few days my scar is killing me(emergency C-section). I’m 3 days into my cycle. Last night I noticed a smell and when I had a look, seen a light yellow discharge coming from the middle.. I still get mild cramps and what I can only describe as an electric shock going across the wound but the pain is bearable and nothing like what it was in the first 2 months (I suffered terrible!)
I know everyone is going to rush me to the gp but I don’t drive, find it hard to get a babysitter and the double pram is a nightmare going anywhere on my own.
I’ll 100% be going to the gp but it’ll be at least a week before I get an appointment, so if anyone has any tips or advice to tie me over for a few days I’d greatly appreciate it

Are you in the UK? If so you can call 111 for advice/assessment, they can either rush a GP appointment for you or assess over the phone and prescribe antibiotics etc if appropriate. They were great when I was worried I had an infection on my episiotomy scar and got me in with the GP within a couple of days. Hope you feel better soon

@Ro98 @WeHadFunRight thank you for the insight/advice! The appointment was amazing, I could honestly cry with happiness! The doctor was SO lovely and said I've done amazingly managing what he thinks is likely to be CMPA on my own (due to lack of GP support) - he agreed to prescribe a special CMPA formula, has given me a link to follow for advice about managing it and doing the milk ladder, and has referred him to a dietician who should be in touch in 2-4 weeks. He said I can go back for review within 6 months if I think there's more happening with him that the formula isn't resolving, and he gave baby b a cat sticker for his red book

I felt so validated and listened to, he didn't challenge me or question my opinion once, he just listened and then said "you've done so much research and know what you're talking about, the GP probably didn't see all the symptoms because you've done so well trying to treat them yourself, I'm sorry we didn't help you sooner"

Got the formula from the hospital pharmacy and will make a few bottles tonight ready for tomorrow - I'm ready to use dentinox to mask the smell/taste like I had to when I moved him to comfort formula

 

[Ro98]

Baby Ros first birthday today and I can’t believe this time last year we were having snuggles in the (hellish) post natal ward after a lovely planned section Now he was just going after other babies and running riot at his music class
I am so done in I think from all the emotions and will be postponing making his cake until the weekend
Does anyone who is midlands / Yorkshire based know of any passes to attractions? A bit like a Merlin pass but to local zoos / farms? Google isn’t giving me much so maybe none exist!

 

[opintionatedperson]

Thankyou @opintionatedperson and @justonemorepage! I try and think of all the things he can do, very good pincer grip, making lots of sounds, claps his hands, generally very inquisitive and interested little boy! I think the HV 1 year review last week has just got to me and social media doesn’t help at all. I’m trying my best not to compare as its stealing happiness from moments with my son the osteopath even said to us that boys can be slower with developmental and my nephew was apparently quite slow to do things and didn’t walk until almost 2!

Boys are lazy little sloths

 

[geegeex]

I just dip in and out of this page as life is hectic but baby geegee turns 1 on Saturday and I'm so sad. I feel like it's been the quickest year ever

 

[opintionatedperson]

Had the christening, and the comments about his development have started.....a comment was passed that he should be cooing more .... He coos just fine he just doesn't recognise you as you have only seen him once in 10 weeks

 

[WotsitG1]

Definitely don't feel guilty, and what a preachy wanker that mum is!! Are you doing ok in general? I hope you're safe

I’m ok thanks. Just full of cold, tired. Baby wotsits sleep has gone to poop.

My husband I believe is going through some depression/mental health struggles. He’s full of anger. Is getting worked up constantly about the smallest of things. The second I don’t feel safe, I will be outta here with baby wotsit…. I’m really trying to get him to see he needs to accept some help, but it’s kinda balls in his court now.

Baby wotsit did have a side of vegetables and had a quite healthy breakfast and lunch so I’m letting myself off.

 

[watermelon sugar]

Ah good thank you guys I’m glad to hear it’s normal! I couldn’t remember my 4 year old grunting like a piggy I was lying in bed last night next to her thinking I don’t remember giving birth to Babe the pig

 

[anything at all]

me with a 6 month old looking for second hand buggy accessories: why do all of these say they've been chewed/have bite marks

me with a 15 month old: I see

it’s like how I once wondered how second hand books for toddlers end up so damaged… I understand the occasional flap getting torn off but my 15m old bites and licks his books

Yesterday he was licking one of his books with a flap so much that the flap just came off

 

[WeepingCassandra]

Honestly…. A friend came over Saturday night…. And since shes suggested baby wotsit has a Tic, is short sighted and has signs of autism because he can’t wave (he can)… I sent her a montage of videos of him waving this evening. Where do people get off saying this stuff!

Honestly, sack that shit right off. Tell her to fuck off, come back and fuck off a little more again.

 

[shhh1712]

He’s finally been, poor thing I had to lift his legs up and there was a bit of blood at the last bit had to basically pull some out too. It was big enough but I don’t think that’s him done, he’s down for a nap now but going to bath him after and see if that helps a little more

 

[Nosysamsie]

A rough night last night. Co-slept then noticed little one had a fever at 1am. Managed to get an OOH GP appointment and it turned out that she's got an ear infection. So now on antibiotics & lots of cuddles & co-sleeping to give her the comfort she needs. At least yesterday's crying makes sense now.

Woke up this morning & I feel like I've been hit by a bus. My chest is tight, my sinuses are full & conjunctivitis it's looking like it's a PJ kinda day for my household because hubby is feeling the same as me.