New baby and post birth advice #38: I've just come to accept the fact that my children are in fact, feral

[calmyourritas]

@Definitelyme tupperware is a sore subject in our household… it’s constantly disappearing and when I need some, there is none!!!!

It’s funny because we always blamed each other for taking leftovers to work in it and never returning it… and I haven’t been at work for 7 months and it’s still happening so… guess we know where the blame lies.

I even asked him the other day where it all was and he said the cleaner at work threw it away!!! Fucking brilliant

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Nooooo, do you at least have a snuggly hot water bottle??

Yes he's 9
We do thankfully

 

[Author123]

This is going to sound bad I could do with no judgment I’m just terrified. Trying to get baby to sleep he fights it so much he was in my next to me which I was rocking he stars crying and I rocked it really hard for a few seconds I lost it I’m exhausted and he fights it but now I’m terrified I’ve injured him

Is baby still crying? Did he hit anything when you rocked it hard? What makes you think you injured him?

If he is safe in his next to me then please take a moment and step out the room even if he is still crying. We all reach moments where it feels like too much and it’s important to make sure baby is safe and take a breather in those moments

 

[stardust1]

I have read back through this thread and I have to say you all seem lovelysometimes I read peoples threads and think I am a horrendous mother because some of the things other mothers are slated for

 

[Spillit2356]

I've somehow hurt my back, it's been sore for days but bareable so I've just kept doing everything as usual and not resting cos you know default parent and all that This evening I'm in agony, it's in spasm and since I'm still breastfeeding I can only take the shit painkillers
Feeling so sorry for myself , could actually cry with the pain

 

[LilyRose1234]

Baby girl went to her dads this evening, the usual 4 hours. She came back with a massive bump on her head. He made out like it was no big deal. Brought her to A&E for peace of mind because I wasn’t there when it happened.. the doctors told me there was no way my 4 month old could of gotten the bump the way he told me. I’m actually heart broken for her, even the thought of her being in pain kills me.

really thinking of all the sick mums and babies. Mums you’re doing amazing and the babies are so resilient they are stronger than we think..!!

I agree with what the others have said, this is a safeguarding issue and doctor should have called SS (and possibly police depending I guess on the circumstances in which he said the injury could have happened?). Think you should also give your solicitor a ring and give them a heads up that there’s been a serious safeguarding issue and what they would recommend doing legally, to reflect the fact you can no longer send her there unsupervised for her own safety. So sorry this is happening

 

[miaaaa]

Thinking of you all who are poorly wishing you all speedy recoveries

I had a KIT DAY today and I really struggled being away from baby. I'm now reconsidering going back in Jan and thinking about delaying... but I really don't know what to do. I feel so conflicted

 

[Definitelyme]

@Dak1988 I get a bit antsy when they don’t sleep as long as they “should” as well. It’s hard when you like to a routine driven person (and I really am in my own life!) and so much tells you babies and kids should be too, and then they just wanna rip up your routine and do their own thing. But like you say, remembering that they are a wee person whose sleep needs change daily is the key. Though not always easy on us.

I honestly love your random facts! Are you the boys real mum? This is something he would know

Probably the product of a wild eyed Google search of “WHY WONT MY KIDS EAT VEGETABLES?!”
(Recently dropped down to “WHY WONT MY KID EAT?” obvs!)

I would imagine it’s bullshit, but it sounds good so I go with it. My kids hate broccoli because of evolution. That’s Darwin’s fault, not mine

 

[sodit]

@WhatABore that sounds like a right comedy sketch of a morning hopefully you’ve got rid of all your bad luck in one fell swoop

Last full week of mat leave this week enjoying actually having a morning before I go back to having a commute and 7.30am start. Although obviously it was a crap night of sleep last night - I’ve noticed a pattern that it’s always worse when I have clean sheets on the bed. It’s like because he can’t smell me he just has to fully cry for me every single time rather that sometimes having a little position change and staying asleep. So that’s great, just need to have an unwashed bed and all problems are solved

 

[DaisyDaisy87]

I’ve never shared this with you ladies but my first poo experience was so fucking traumatic. I was home alone with baby Waka who was days old so i had to bring her to the toilet with me. It was summer but whatever my body was doing made me start shivering so laid her down on the floor on a changing mat just so I could grip onto the sink. Nothing even came, I felt like my colon had been punched. Next thing I remember is being woken up by mr Waka who told me off for sleeping with baby Waka unsafely in the bed. I had no underwear on so I’m sure you can imagine the state of me and the bed by the time he got in had to eat dates in the end to help

Haha omg the shivering thing happened to me!! I had taken lots of lactulose and it made everything soft except the very initial bit so I kept feeling like I was about to poo myself and would run to the toilet and my legs would uncontrollably shake but nothing could come out. This went on for a couple of days until my body actually started spasming by itself and I was just gripping the sink while this head of a beast made its way out and I was terrified but couldn’t stop these weird bum contractions. I came downstairs afterwards so traumatised saying that was worse than birth

 

[Megatron1298]

I feel this in my soul. ETA all mums though, not just SAHM.

Yes!!! I had a breakdown to my husband last night about this very thing, he doesn’t understand how I can be so grumpy after a day of parenting a disregulated toddler and a baby. It did seem to kick him into gear and he played with toddler and tidied the house, sorted dinner for us and for the toddler. While I sat on the couch with a wine and had a well deserved break (it’s summer here so just imagine those summer relaxed feels). And then get got up to help me with the baby who wouldn’t settle at 4am. If only it didn’t have to get to breaking point for this to happen

 

[wakametango 2.0]

Haha omg the shivering thing happened to me!! I had taken lots of lactulose and it made everything soft except the very initial bit so I kept feeling like I was about to poo myself and would run to the toilet and my legs would uncontrollably shake but nothing could come out. This went on for a couple of days until my body actually started spasming by itself and I was just gripping the sink while this head of a beast made its way out and I was terrified but couldn’t stop these weird bum contractions. I came downstairs afterwards so traumatised saying that was worse than birth

PMSL I was hesitant to tell my story incase people thought I was over sharing but there’s some comfort in knowing there’s others out there who also had the sucker punched anus post birth

 

[jackolantern]

It’s gravy or nothing. With everything. I’m sorry but it’s the only way. Sad? Gravy. Happy? Gravy. Raging? Gravy with a side of gravy. OH had the bare faced cheek to ask why I liked it so much once. Why do I like him? That’s what I wonder, monster.

 

[jackolantern]

I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF TOY STORY

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I’m glad your bunbun skills are better than your soup skills

Fighting talk that girl

 

[Spillit2356]

I hate to tell you all, these blubbering incidents never seem to go away......I feel like a big softie most of the time now and I was always dead inside before childbirth

 

[Megatron1298]

KW rant

I’ve been feeling really resentful and disconnected from him lately anyway, he’s been fuck all help while baby o has been poorly and he barely spends an hour a day with her.
But tonight baby o suddenly had exorcist style projectile vomiting (she seems fine again now, I think I accidentally gave her an old bottle from her nursery bag) so I grabbed her off KWs lap and put her on the hard floor thinking she can keep vomiting and I’ll wipe it up after.
KW pisses me off for two reasons:
1. He starts barking instructions at me ‘go and put her in the bath, take her off me etc’ - this fucks me off anyway, when I do 95% of the work and then he has the audacity to think he can tell me what I should do
2. I did get in the bath eventually and was washing her off when he comes upstairs. I asked him to please wipe up the sick off the hard floor and the rug, anti bac the hard floor and put a tea towel over any wet stains on the rug (to absorb any sick before it sinks in). And he’s like ‘it’s fine I’ve cleaned it’, so - knowing what his version of clean is vs mine - started asking him if he’d found the anti bac wipes etc to which he just shouted over me ‘I said I’ve done it stop nagging’
Come downstairs and he’s basically wiped the puddles up with a dirty tea towel so after spending all afternoon hoovering and mopping, I’ve got smeary sick marks on the floor and the rug stinks if vomit.
I’m so sick of not being able to rely on him for anything. Every thing he does do (1 nursery run and 2 bedtimes a week) he has to be micromanaged to fucking do it properly. I feel like a single parent 90% of the time anyway but then when he’s here my life is no easier - it’s actually harder.
If I was financially stable enough I think I’d leave him.

I feel like I could have written this we are much the same right now. No advice, just solidarity here with you

 

[LilyRose1234]

Well. This is awkward.

The life of an England fan. Every time, we sing the song, we genuinely believe that this year it’ll happen, and every time were genuinely disappointed when it doesn’t luckily the womens world cup isn’t far off, hopefully they won’t let us down

 

[Borntorun]

So just to join in some baking chat.
I baked some cookies today. Been meaning to do them for a while. Super simple.. Like this..
View attachment 1805121

I present to you... My attempt...

Spoiler: Amazing cookies.

View attachment 1805122

View attachment 1805124

Somehow you’ve baked… potatoes?! Legit yours look like potatoes bet they taste great though?!

 

[LilyRose1234]

Not a baby or toddler rant. But what is it with boys? Every year I have to buy the 9yo a new hat scarf and gloves because he always bloody looses them. I gave him new gloves yesterday, could he find them this morning? Hell no. He's lucky I don't want snoop to come and snoop him away else he'd be going to school and getting frost bite on his hands. It's still -5 here!
Tipped my house upside down, where were they? In his school bag idiot child

In fairness this sounds like me and I’m a 28 year old mum