New baby and post birth advice #37 The only way to eat porridge is to tip it in the bin

[Megatron1298]

Feeling like the worst parent ever. I shouted at baby tonight he’s 4 weeks old today I’m disgusting. I can’t believe I shouted at him im just exhausted I’m getting no help from his dad and he seems to hate sleep I’m lucky if he sleeps 3 hours during the day and has literally only just fell asleep since 11 till now I feel so guilty

It happens to the best of us, this is the stuff you will never see on Instagram and probably stuff even your friends don’t talk about. The most important thing is if you feel yourself losing control to calmly put the baby down and leave the room. Yes even if the baby is crying! I have screamed and thrown pillows but it gave me an outlet when there was no other option.

He’s still really little but you could start to create some positive sleep associations for him, does he have a swaddle or sleeping bag, a dummy, white noise or music. A bed sheet that smells like his mum. These things can all help and will continue to help down the line.

How is his reflux going?

Do you have anyone that can come and hold the baby so you can get a nap in yourself?

 

[Littleelf]

Feeling like the worst parent ever. I shouted at baby tonight he’s 4 weeks old today I’m disgusting. I can’t believe I shouted at him im just exhausted I’m getting no help from his dad and he seems to hate sleep I’m lucky if he sleeps 3 hours during the day and has literally only just fell asleep since 11 till now I feel so guilty

You are not the worst parent. It gets to all of us most don't admit it.

Like @Megatron1298 I've hit/screamed into pillows before when I've just been so frustrated. Its okay to let it out just make sure baby is safe first.

 

[WhatABore]

Feeling like the worst parent ever. I shouted at baby tonight he’s 4 weeks old today I’m disgusting. I can’t believe I shouted at him im just exhausted I’m getting no help from his dad and he seems to hate sleep I’m lucky if he sleeps 3 hours during the day and has literally only just fell asleep since 11 till now I feel so guilty

It happens
The fact you feel guilty after shows how good of a Mum you are!

We all have a breaking point! It has happened many many times, please don't feel bad

As @Megatron1298 said, it's okay for baby to cry if you need a few minutes.
Just pop him down in his crib or somewhere safe and step out the room and take a breather
There were even posters telling you to do this in our hospital!

 

[Definitelyme]

Feeling like the worst parent ever. I shouted at baby tonight he’s 4 weeks old today I’m disgusting. I can’t believe I shouted at him im just exhausted I’m getting no help from his dad and he seems to hate sleep I’m lucky if he sleeps 3 hours during the day and has literally only just fell asleep since 11 till now I feel so guilty

Oh the guilt after shouting at a baby is just awful. But so many (all?) of us have been there. Remember, you’re not shouting because you’re angry at a baby, it’s because you’re overwhelmed and exhausted.
As the others have said, sometimes you need to set them down and leave the room for a minute. Best place for a baby in a moment of your overwhelm is on the floor, as they can’t roll off it and hurt themselves. Plonk him on the floor, walk out of the room, open the door and take some deep breaths of fresh air. Remind yourself you’re feeling overwhelmed but it will pass. Then go and scoop baby up and snuggle him hard x

 

[Chrisxo]

Thanks! So after all that he then slept from 2:30-6:30 I feel beyond guilty today but todays a new day

 

[sodit]

I’ve already given my baby a telling off today the biting and scratching I’ve woken up to ain’t it. Teething </3
(He had his nails cut last night, how are they already back to painful scratching length!?)

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Well the £90 mattress was a half success.
She stayed in it soundly till 1am. Until Mr TY woke with her at 1am and fell asleep in our bed with her

 

[cupcake_face]

Feeling like the worst parent ever. I shouted at baby tonight he’s 4 weeks old today I’m disgusting. I can’t believe I shouted at him im just exhausted I’m getting no help from his dad and he seems to hate sleep I’m lucky if he sleeps 3 hours during the day and has literally only just fell asleep since 11 till now I feel so guilty

Please remember we’ve absolutely all been there - it makes you feel terrible at the time but we are only human and everybody has their limit. These babies are good at pushing us to ours, it’s a good job they’re cute! Hope you’re feeling a bit better this morning after a decent chunk of sleep x

 

[Dak1988]

So many heavy chats today that I’ve not managed to reply to, but thinking of you all x

I need to get pregnant immediately, I had news today about my role changing at work and I think it’s gonna be tit. I can grit my teeth and just do it if I can be off again (kicking the can down the road, but still).

Very much here for these Amazon tips got told last week nursery is going up £6.20/day (!) in Jan from what it was when we signed up 🫠 so any way to squeeze a few quid from billionaires suits me.

I’m in the same boat! I requested four days which they agreed to finally, but are moving me to another team and the role is super boring so I have now extended my maternity leave and taking all my holidays as a bit of a ‘f u’ to them. I feel like they’re not bothered about me now they have my replacement

 

[Easilyannoyed]

Well the £90 mattress was a half success.
She stayed in it soundly till 1am. Until Mr TY woke with her at 1am and fell asleep in our bed with her

I am having a massive issue with the cott she just won’t sleep unless she is in our bed or on one of us I am completely lost o have tried and tried to put her in the cott but the is so stubborn she will cry for hours so I can’t even do the cry it out because it doesn’t work I feel I’m giving up because she will go to sleep and sleep next to me for 12 hours so I’m not tied but I sleep in such a small space it’s giving me back issues I’m glad she stayed in there until 1am at least orange will do it for 45 mins then that’s it x

 

[Jellybean093]

Man down
I’m so cold, I can’t warm up. My throat hurts and I’m so dizzy when I stand, it almost feels dream like when I walk. If this was Mr B, he’d be in bed with me looking after the kids, but obvs he’s at work. I only have the baby until 12 and have no energy to give him and the 3yo when he comes home. Ms Rachel is also going right through my brain

 

[WhatABore]

I am having a massive issue with the cott she just won’t sleep unless she is in our bed or on one of us I am completely lost o have tried and tried to put her in the cott but the is so stubborn she will cry for hours so I can’t even do the cry it out because it doesn’t work I feel I’m giving up because she will go to sleep and sleep next to me for 12 hours so I’m not tied but I sleep in such a small space it’s giving me back issues I’m glad she stayed in there until 1am at least orange will do it for 45 mins then that’s it x

Is there a chance you could get her a single bed? Or even a double? With sides on?
I know quite a few people who have done this and not bothered with a cot at all

 

[Jellybean093]

Why is the baby finding it hilarious when the cat bites his fingers (not proper bite, a nibble) he also has a thing for pulling her tail. Im not down for this today

 

[Definitelyme]

Other mothers, there is a chance that TMe slept for 6 HOURS IN A ROW last night I say a chance because I can’t rule out that he stirred and got the boob on his own, or that I did without waking properly, but he was settled at around 10/10.30 and I didn’t see the clock time until 4.30am! Never have I known such witchcraft!

 

[Spillit2356]

I am having a massive issue with the cott she just won’t sleep unless she is in our bed or on one of us I am completely lost o have tried and tried to put her in the cott but the is so stubborn she will cry for hours so I can’t even do the cry it out because it doesn’t work I feel I’m giving up because she will go to sleep and sleep next to me for 12 hours so I’m not tied but I sleep in such a small space it’s giving me back issues I’m glad she stayed in there until 1am at least orange will do it for 45 mins then that’s it x

In this same position.....I'm biting the bullet this coming weekend (when my older 2 are at their dads and it's a little calmer) and I'm going to do the gentle approach of pick up and put down and staying in the room until shes asleep.....I did it a few months back and the first night I lost count how many times I picked her up and put her down but was surprised she put herself to sleep after 1hr 15 mins and each night it got less and less.............then I made the mistake of feeding her to sleep and putting her down sleeping when she was teething and then she got sick and now we're worse than ever I desperately want to wean her from the boob when she hits 1 in a couple months but until I get her out of my bed I have no hope! I feel you with the back pain....the ribs, hips , everything x

Other mothers, there is a chance that TMe slept for 6 HOURS IN A ROW last night I say a chance because I can’t rule out that he stirred and got the boob on his own, or that I did without waking properly, but he was settled at around 10/10.30 and I didn’t see the clock time until 4.30am! Never have I known such witchcraft!

There is hope for us all Do you feel so rested today?

 

[Littleelf]

Baby elf has been pooing for England these last couple of days and he has a really sore patch on his bum he is totally miserable and nappy changes have got really hard because it must be sore for him when im trying wipe him no matter how gentle i am so hes trying to get away from me even more than usual! Getting some cream on him is impossible, I literally end up covered in tit and sudocrem every couple of hours at the moment! not sure if its his teeth or just a funny tummy but my god

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Other mothers, there is a chance that TMe slept for 6 HOURS IN A ROW last night I say a chance because I can’t rule out that he stirred and got the boob on his own, or that I did without waking properly, but he was settled at around 10/10.30 and I didn’t see the clock time until 4.30am! Never have I known such witchcraft!

Go TMe! I hope you had a restful sleep!!

 

[jackolantern]

Why are we wearing upside down crowns

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Why are we wearing upside down crowns

 

[WhatABore]

Why are we wearing upside down crowns

Supposed to look like a bauble? Maybe