It's a terrible system, Tommy is nearly 8 1/2 months and 6kg, imagine him and sailor having the same amountThis is so mad, baby sailor is 14kg (lol, yes at 9 months) so can nearly have the same amount as we give my 4 year old by agewhy the heck do they do it by age then! No wonder calpol never bloody works for him
Also, does the guilt ever go away or is this just life now? OH went out for day drinks on Thursday and I had a lovely day with the baby, just chilling at home. He has him for 3 hours and needs a lie-in to recover! Yet still somehow I feel bad for having gone out. Sorry, just dumping all my thoughts here. Honestly... Even with the 9yo that is super easy to look after... I feel massive guilt whenever I have to nip out.Just need to offload a bit...
I've been having CBT for a while now, I have separation anxiety which got really bad after baby was born. I feel like I've been making good progress, I've managed to leave him for an hour or so with both sets of parents. (Don't even get me started on how pushed into this I felt, god knows if I should even have needed therapy or just set more boundaries but it's done now.) Last night I left him with my OH to go out for the second time in nearly 5 months. It was so so hard, I just worried constantly and found it really difficult to switch off and be present. Probably not helped by being regularly updated that he was crying/wouldn't settle/wouldn't feed/wouldn't go to sleep.
Please someone tell me it gets easier to a) leave them b) have someone else take care of them and actually meet their needs. All I feel is guilt because if I had been at home, he wouldn't have cried for 2 hours and would have gone to bed calm and happy.
Edit: Ok, I've decided I'm being harsh. I spend all day every day with the baby so it's easier for me to look after him... But an occasional break would just be so nice.
but you're not alone 
I'm with WhatABore, I struggle to still leave my 9Yo.Just need to offload a bit...
I've been having CBT for a while now, I have separation anxiety which got really bad after baby was born. I feel like I've been making good progress, I've managed to leave him for an hour or so with both sets of parents. (Don't even get me started on how pushed into this I felt, god knows if I should even have needed therapy or just set more boundaries but it's done now.) Last night I left him with my OH to go out for the second time in nearly 5 months. It was so so hard, I just worried constantly and found it really difficult to switch off and be present. Probably not helped by being regularly updated that he was crying/wouldn't settle/wouldn't feed/wouldn't go to sleep.
Please someone tell me it gets easier to a) leave them b) have someone else take care of them and actually meet their needs. All I feel is guilt because if I had been at home, he wouldn't have cried for 2 hours and would have gone to bed calm and happy.
Edit: Ok, I've decided I'm being harsh. I spend all day every day with the baby so it's easier for me to look after him... But an occasional break would just be so nice.
Don’t feel pressure from others to leave him if you’re not comfortable with itJust need to offload a bit...
I've been having CBT for a while now, I have separation anxiety which got really bad after baby was born. I feel like I've been making good progress, I've managed to leave him for an hour or so with both sets of parents. (Don't even get me started on how pushed into this I felt, god knows if I should even have needed therapy or just set more boundaries but it's done now.) Last night I left him with my OH to go out for the second time in nearly 5 months. It was so so hard, I just worried constantly and found it really difficult to switch off and be present. Probably not helped by being regularly updated that he was crying/wouldn't settle/wouldn't feed/wouldn't go to sleep.
Please someone tell me it gets easier to a) leave them b) have someone else take care of them and actually meet their needs. All I feel is guilt because if I had been at home, he wouldn't have cried for 2 hours and would have gone to bed calm and happy.
Edit: Ok, I've decided I'm being harsh. I spend all day every day with the baby so it's easier for me to look after him... But an occasional break would just be so nice.
I’m the only one who can settle my 10mo so I’ve always done bedtime. I’ve once made it out for a couple of drinks locally after I’d put him to bed with a friend who was staying over but KW and I still haven’t had a date night as baby would be inconsolable if he woke to anyone else trying to settle him.Honestly, if you feel like that do you need to leave him? I once left the baby with my husband to take my big girl out for ice cream, and I’ve done the occasional nursery pick up without her (but I’m only gone 15 mins). She’ll start nursery before I go back to work. I don’t really like leaving my 3.5yo either and so generally only tend to make plans when she’s at nursery. I do leave her to go to work (currently on mat leave) but that’s about itJust need to offload a bit...
I've been having CBT for a while now, I have separation anxiety which got really bad after baby was born. I feel like I've been making good progress, I've managed to leave him for an hour or so with both sets of parents. (Don't even get me started on how pushed into this I felt, god knows if I should even have needed therapy or just set more boundaries but it's done now.) Last night I left him with my OH to go out for the second time in nearly 5 months. It was so so hard, I just worried constantly and found it really difficult to switch off and be present. Probably not helped by being regularly updated that he was crying/wouldn't settle/wouldn't feed/wouldn't go to sleep.
Please someone tell me it gets easier to a) leave them b) have someone else take care of them and actually meet their needs. All I feel is guilt because if I had been at home, he wouldn't have cried for 2 hours and would have gone to bed calm and happy.
Edit: Ok, I've decided I'm being harsh. I spend all day every day with the baby so it's easier for me to look after him... But an occasional break would just be so nice.
YesssLove thatThe boy hit 15kg when he was around the same age. Love me a little chunk
The twins are only 10kg at 14 months.
Defo go off weight! We always have & I've noticed the difference from when I had the 9yo & went off box doses!
We love a chunky baby around here too! Rolls for days How's little sailor getting on in hospital?Yesss
I agree with the others, I haven't once gone out in the evening for 3.5 years since having my daughter, the only time we've been apart in the evening/at night is when she's had the occasional sleepover with her grandparents which she loves.Just need to offload a bit...
I've been having CBT for a while now, I have separation anxiety which got really bad after baby was born. I feel like I've been making good progress, I've managed to leave him for an hour or so with both sets of parents. (Don't even get me started on how pushed into this I felt, god knows if I should even have needed therapy or just set more boundaries but it's done now.) Last night I left him with my OH to go out for the second time in nearly 5 months. It was so so hard, I just worried constantly and found it really difficult to switch off and be present. Probably not helped by being regularly updated that he was crying/wouldn't settle/wouldn't feed/wouldn't go to sleep.
Please someone tell me it gets easier to a) leave them b) have someone else take care of them and actually meet their needs. All I feel is guilt because if I had been at home, he wouldn't have cried for 2 hours and would have gone to bed calm and happy.
Edit: Ok, I've decided I'm being harsh. I spend all day every day with the baby so it's easier for me to look after him... But an occasional break would just be so nice.
Not too great unfortunately but thank you for asking! His oxygen levels without oxygen are about 82/83, with oxygen (mask) are 92 which is ok but obviously not fantastic as you know. The nose prong things weren’t cutting it! He went really floppy earlier and was just lolling around on my lap making a weird noise but the nebuliser seemed to help a bit as he started crying properly instead of whinging but then just sent him back to sleep in the end. It was super scary actually as he’s working so hard to breathe as well. I’ve come home for a shower and a quick sleep and to see the older 2 then I’m going back - I’ve gone from not being overly worried to quite concerned as I don’t think either of my other 2 have been quite this poorly with it
(Also soz for the detz feel like I had to vent it out as all of my family are such worriers I feel like I can’t tell them anything!)Don't apologise! Vent away!Not too great unfortunately but thank you for asking! His oxygen levels without oxygen are about 82/83, with oxygen (mask) are 92 which is ok but obviously not fantastic as you know. The nose prong things weren’t cutting it! He went really floppy earlier and was just lolling around on my lap making a weird noise but the nebuliser seemed to help a bit as he started crying properly instead of whinging but then just sent him back to sleep in the end. It was super scary actually as he’s working so hard to breathe as well. I’ve come home for a shower and a quick sleep and to see the older 2 then I’m going back - I’ve gone from not being overly worried to quite concerned as I don’t think either of my other 2 have been quite this poorly with it
have they swabbed him to see if it could be anything else other than bronchitis?!
Massive bowl of sugar, hide under the stairs, in the shed or the toilet with something stronger than 8.5%?duck duck fuckity duck.
The 3.5yo convinced us to invite all her friends round for a Halloween party. I’ve got 13 under 4s coming to my house tomorrow. The bouncy castle has just let us down.
What the hell do I do with all these kids in my house?!?!?
Sedate them???duck duck fuckity duck.
The 3.5yo convinced us to invite all her friends round for a Halloween party. I’ve got 13 under 4s coming to my house tomorrow. The bouncy castle has just let us down.
What the hell do I do with all these kids in my house?!?!?
Seek urgent mental health treatment cause I can only assume this is the result of a complete breakdownduck duck fuckity duck.
The 3.5yo convinced us to invite all her friends round for a Halloween party. I’ve got 13 under 4s coming to my house tomorrow. The bouncy castle has just let us down.
What the hell do I do with all these kids in my house?!?!?
If it was up to me, no, absolutely not, and I do think I'm going to be a bit firmer. I've already said he's not going anywhere overnight for a looooong time.
I think we're going to try baby in his own room tonight too! He's been driving me mad the last couple of nights shouting in his sleep I think he's been trying to roll over but he's filling his next to me so can't! Good luckWe've moved the cot... First night in his own room for my boy! Feel very emotional about it.
Although who are we kidding, he might spend the first couple of hours of the night in there but we all know he'll spend most of the night in my bed feeding every hour
You too!I think we're going to try baby in his own room tonight too! He's been driving me mad the last couple of nights shouting in his sleep I think he's been trying to roll over but he's filling his next to me so can't! Good luck
