New baby and post birth advice #30 He managed to poo in his sunhat

[jackolantern]

my 5 year step son is usually good as gold and never misbehaves, he refuses to say “bad words” even when Mr T is being immature and going on about willys and bums and trying to encourage him but the other day at the park he randomly started shouting “daddy has peanuts in his pants” and “*my name* has nipples on her boobies”, it was so out of character that me and Mr T literally looked at each other like this gif

and then he was playing with another boy around his age, his parents were in earshot, and he called him a fart head as a joke but I don’t think the child or parents saw it that way absolutely Mr T’s fault because he’s always saying stupid things like that and it’s come back to bite him! But my god, I was like why have you waited until we are in public to repeat all of these things

Imagine taking the huff at fart head, some people pain me

 

[Jellybean093]

Imagine taking the huff at fart head, some people pain me

You haven’t seen anything yet! Wait til Tommy can talk

 

[jackolantern]

You haven’t seen anything yet! Wait til Tommy can talk

Im going to have to seriously cut back on my liberal use of the word bleep put it that way

 

[Jellybean093]

my 5 year step son is usually good as gold and never misbehaves, he refuses to say “bad words” even when Mr T is being immature and going on about willys and bums and trying to encourage him but the other day at the park he randomly started shouting “daddy has peanuts in his pants” and “*my name* has nipples on her boobies”, it was so out of character that me and Mr T literally looked at each other like this gif

and then he was playing with another boy around his age, his parents were in earshot, and he called him a fart head as a joke but I don’t think the child or parents saw it that way absolutely Mr T’s fault because he’s always saying stupid things like that and it’s come back to bite him! But my god, I was like why have you waited until we are in public to repeat all of these things

Why are they like this?! Mr B thinks it’s hilarious some of the stuff kid comes out with.
Kid thinks he’s the funniest thing ever (he is, but we don’t tell him that) a few months ago, he drew a picture of me. Naked, for some reason (ok, he probably sees me naked, a lot ) with a full on bush!! And then, proceeded to show everyone, and then tell everyone what it was

Im going to have to seriously cut back on my liberal use of the word bleep put it that way

Meh. We are casual cunters. The boys have never said it. They don’t swear and I’m a potty mouth. The teenager is a different story though..

 

[LilyRose1234]

Does anyone know of any pink noise sound machines or anything that plays fairly constantly? I have an Ewan and I can set it to play noise when he cries which does work (although rinses the batteries), but my KW gets up for work at 4:30am and baby is waking shortly afterwards so I’d like something that could drown out any noise he makes that I can switch on from when I feed him about 2am.

I mean I could use a Bluetooth speaker and my Spotify but that just sounds like effort

We have the “WhiteNoiseDeepSleep” app, the free version plays a limited selection of noises including pink noise, womb and distant thunder for 8 hours. It’s great! I put it on when she goes to bed then restart it when I go to bed at about 11 so it plays until 6 in the unlikely event she sleeps through and then when she wakes at night I’ll do it again. Honestly she does seem to sleep better in the mornings when I’ve remembered to restart it, otherwise she wakes up at the slightest noise - and given we’re currently living with my dad and two of my sisters, my brother, their partners and one of their friends, as well as 5 dogs, are staying there is a lot of noise!

 

[Megatron1298]

Favourite bit: feeding baby tree to sleep at night, hearing his breath get deeper and feeling his little body relax, also anytime toddler tree makes him giggle. He has the most infectious laugh.

Least favourite: the constant anxiety of how long he will sleep for after bedtime, will it be half an hour so just enough time to eat dinner or like tonight, will I be on two glorious hours and counting?!

Also unrelated, and I don’t know why I did it to myself, I just looked at my wonder weeks app. Apparently at the grand old age of 8 months baby tree should be able to ask to play hide and seek, repeat words after me, and use a bottle to feed other people. I mean WTF?! It’s just made me feel like he’s really behind but surely other 8 month olds aren’t doing all those things?!

That app is the worst! It’s great if you want some reasoning for why they aren’t sleeping but otherwise it’ll just make you feel there is something wrong.

 

[Midgettree]

Thanks for everybody’s reassurance that whoever wrote the wonder weeks is completely off their nut. I might even just delete it completely as baby tree is always a low level grump so I never notice a difference when he’s meant to be in a leap anyway

 

[PrincessShark]

I went on my 7 years olds iPad yesterday. Found this gem of a video he made…

‘Hi guys welcome to my channel

BUM BUM BUM BUM WILLY WILLY WILLY
BUM BUM BUM BUM WILLY WILLY WILLY’

Etc

Don’t think I’ll be selling this kid out for millions.

 

[Rxt156]

We had a better night 4am bottle then back to sleep until 6.30 typical that the dog decided to duck about instead wanting in the garden/food/garden again. Can’t have it all though can you

 

[cupcake_face]

Thanks for everybody’s reassurance that whoever wrote the wonder weeks is completely off their nut. I might even just delete it completely as baby tree is always a low level grump so I never notice a difference when he’s meant to be in a leap anyway

The Dr who wrote it was actually fired from his post for trying to stop one of his PHD students from publishing research that basically proved it was a load of twoddle I do find it can sometimes be bang on with when Baby Cupcake is mega twisty but I don’t pay too much attention to what he should apparently be doing.
Baby Cupcake woke himself up several times last night stuck on his front and thrashing about in a panic. I’ve also woken up what feels like every 23 mins to check that he is either lying on his back or still breathing if he was on his front!! This is a fun phase

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Does anyone know of any pink noise sound machines or anything that plays fairly constantly? I have an Ewan and I can set it to play noise when he cries which does work (although rinses the batteries), but my KW gets up for work at 4:30am and baby is waking shortly afterwards so I’d like something that could drown out any noise he makes that I can switch on from when I feed him about 2am.

I mean I could use a Bluetooth speaker and my Spotify but that just sounds like effort

Not sure if anyone else has replied as I've not caught up yet but tommee tippee do one that's got a red light on it (you can turn it off) I think its called the dream maker or dream machine.

 

[miaaaa]

Talking of bad words I'm so ashamed of this one but what can you do... when I'm driving I get road rage when people can't bloody drive and I don't think I've ever sworn infront of him in the car but maybe I have as every time someone pulls out infront of me or does something stupid my 2yo goes "sheeeeet car" (tit car) and I can't help but laugh, quietly

 

[Nfj]

@absolute-omnishambles sorry I missed your original post - the thread moves too quickly! But look up fourth trimester - everything you are saying sounds completely standard to me.

On a separate note. Baby Nef is now 5 weeks and spent 4 hours feeding continuously last night. She only stopped to vom when her stomach was full

 

[Definitelyme]

She only stopped to vom when her stomach was full

My hero

4 hours though 🫠 you must be knackered today.

 

[calmyourritas]

The Dr who wrote it was actually fired from his post for trying to stop one of his PHD students from publishing research that basically proved it was a load of twoddle I do find it can sometimes be bang on with when Baby Cupcake is mega twisty but I don’t pay too much attention to what he should apparently be doing.

I downloaded the app because the peanut group chat was raving about how good it was and I just think it’s all a load of tit honestly they use it for an excuse for eveeeerything and it’s 80% of what they talk about - constantly oh it’s leap 4 coming up etc etc, baby slept so badly it says on my app leap is in 3 days, I’m so glad the leap will be over today !? Eh? Just because the leap is “over” doesn’t mean your baby will stop crying for over 3 hours every evening. I can’t say I’ve paid the app much attention since I got it and I haven’t noticed a difference in her sleep, eating habits or daily routines when she’s supposedly going through these leaps. I thought my baby was just wired wrong.

The other 20% of conversation is about breastfeeding so I’m a bit stuck with that one too

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

I'm so tired I feel sick, this baby is just not sleeping! He really lulled me into a false sense of security with his great sleep for the first 15 or so weeks.
Anyway, we will survive!

My 3 year old was a very early talker and by the time she turned 3 she very rarely mispronounces anything or has alternative words for it and I miss it! She still says "disturv" rather than disturb, for example when multiple times a day she shouts "I'm very busy, don't disturv me!" when I ask her to do something totally unreasonable like brushing her teeth or coming to the table for dinner or putting her shoes on to go out.
But she used to say "hawa" for water before she could really talk, and "Grag" before she could say grandad and it was so cute!

 

[Belle Amie]

I'm so tired I feel sick, this baby is just not sleeping! He really lulled me into a false sense of security with his great sleep for the first 15 or so weeks.
Anyway, we will survive!

My 3 year old was a very early talker and by the time she turned 3 she very rarely mispronounces anything or has alternative words for it and I miss it! She still says "disturv" rather than disturb, for example when multiple times a day she shouts "I'm very busy, don't disturv me!" when I ask her to do something totally unreasonable like brushing her teeth or coming to the table for dinner or putting her shoes on to go out.
But she used to say "hawa" for water before she could really talk, and "Grag" before she could say grandad and it was so cute!

I’m not laughing at the lack of sleep that sucks! I’m laughing at imagining a little 3 year old being a little boss shouting don’t disturb me

 

[Jellybean093]

I downloaded the app because the peanut group chat was raving about how good it was and I just think it’s all a load of tit honestly they use it for an excuse for eveeeerything and it’s 80% of what they talk about - constantly oh it’s leap 4 coming up etc etc, baby slept so badly it says on my app leap is in 3 days, I’m so glad the leap will be over today !? Eh? Just because the leap is “over” doesn’t mean your baby will stop crying for over 3 hours every evening. I can’t say I’ve paid the app much attention since I got it and I haven’t noticed a difference in her sleep, eating habits or daily routines when she’s supposedly going through these leaps. I thought my baby was just wired wrong.

The other 20% of conversation is about breastfeeding so I’m a bit stuck with that one too

This app would take over the sanest persons life. Imagine being on a constant countdown until the next leap? I know there’s a 4&7 month sleep regression, but some kids get it? Some don’t. Baby hasn’t had the leap yet, and I think at 4 months was when he started sleeping better!

 

[miss_americana]

Talking of bad words I'm so ashamed of this one but what can you do... when I'm driving I get road rage when people can't bloody drive and I don't think I've ever sworn infront of him in the car but maybe I have as every time someone pulls out infront of me or does something stupid my 2yo goes "sheeeeet car" (tit car) and I can't help but laugh, quietly

So when I was a toddler I was sitting in the car of the car and started going ickess over and over again and mum and dad were wondering what I was trying to say- was it ridiculous?! No. I then did an accompanying hand gesture that made it clear I was copying my dad calling other drivers dick heads .
Also every time their car stopped my cousin used to say oh bloody hell it’s a traffic jam

 

[WhatABore]

I'm so tired I feel sick, this baby is just not sleeping! He really lulled me into a false sense of security with his great sleep for the first 15 or so weeks.
Anyway, we will survive!

My 3 year old was a very early talker and by the time she turned 3 she very rarely mispronounces anything or has alternative words for it and I miss it! She still says "disturv" rather than disturb, for example when multiple times a day she shouts "I'm very busy, don't disturv me!" when I ask her to do something totally unreasonable like brushing her teeth or coming to the table for dinner or putting her shoes on to go out.
But she used to say "hawa" for water before she could really talk, and "Grag" before she could say grandad and it was so cute!

It always makes me laugh when little kids use 'grown up' terms
We used to have a girl in nursery that was 2 and she would used the word 'literally' in every sentence

My 4yos current thing is "You've got to be kidding me"