New baby and post birth advice #2

[Definitelyme]

@Upintheair83 that’s tit of your midwife. There is nothing at all abnormal about a 10do not having regained birth weight. Where I am, midwives can keep you in their care for up to 28 days as that’s the time period they think of as normal to regain (they will only sign you off their care once baby has regained birth weight and lost cord stump) so 10 days is nothing at all to be worried about.

As long as baby is gaining weight, and having plenty of wet and dirty nappies, that’s what counts. And with the heat I would say many babies aren’t drinking as much. Please don’t feel bad, your midwife is at fault here, not you x

Really well thank you! So glad she is here safe and sound now was bloody scary! All the midwives i have spoke to since have urged me to put a complaint in about what happened at the birth (not sure i told you guys everything) so it's something I'm considering doing xx

You mentioned a few bits, and it sounds like an awful time for you. It’s great that you are being well supported by midwives x

I’m feeling a LOT better today, thank you! For the first time since Sunday. Got a negative on my Covid test thankfully so must have been mastitis rearing its head.

We had our 8 week jabs this morning. He took them like a champ (I cried more than him ), came home and he was so smiley, fast forward 4 hours and he’s just had a mega moment because his legs are red and swollen. Now he’s whimpering and sleeping on me.

Glad you’re feeling better! The 8 and 16 week jabs, with the menB, have always caused big upset about 4-6hrs later with my youngest 3 (it wasn’t included for my eldest). It’s not nice at all, but try to get some calpol in him if you can as it really helps (and I don’t give it that much, but it definitely helps for this)

 

[Chickenandgravy]

@moimoi how are you keeping?

@Hellofromtheotherside and @Chickenandgravy how are You and the babies doing?

We're doing good, sleep is not happening though she won't go down in her crib so I've had to have her in the bed with me but I'm so paranoid
My nipples are so much better so thanks for everyone's suggestions. Currently still feeding with nipple shields but it's obviously working okay as she has only lost 0.9% of her birth weight . Thought I'd managed to escape the hormone crash but today on day 6 it's came on full force. My partners kids are staying now until Tuesday and its absolutely overwhelmed me, cannot stop crying

 

[Definitelyme]

We're doing good, sleep is not happening though she won't go down in her crib so I've had to have her in the bed with me but I'm so paranoid
My nipples are so much better so thanks for everyone's suggestions. Currently still feeding with nipple shields but it's obviously working okay as she has only lost 0.9% of her birth weight . Thought I'd managed to escape the hormone crash but today on day 6 it's came on full force. My partners kids are staying now until Tuesday and its absolutely overwhelmed me, cannot stop crying

That’s great news that feeding is going so well
I’m sorry that you’re feeling so overwhelmed, it’s definitely something I feel a lot in motherhood - it’s actually taken me a long time to be able to pinpoint what that panicked feeling is. Try and carve out as much time for you and baby as you can. Take her to bed for a long cuddle and a nap while your partner does whatever with his older kids (tell him it’ll be a great way to make sure they don’t feel left out ) and be kind to yourself.

With sleep, I’ve chosen to co sleep, and even after several babies it is still a bit worrying having a newborn in the bed. But as long as you follow safe sleep guidelines for bed sharing, you’re doing as much as you can for safe sleep (same as when you put them in a crib following safe sleep guidelines). And it gets easier, and less scary, after a few days. And will definitely help you get more sleep. It doesn’t have to be forever, and having her in bed for a few days or weeks doesn’t mean she’ll never sleep alone. I always think with sleep you just do what you need to to get by

 

[Upintheair83]

Are you breastfeeding?

No hun,formula xxxx

You’re not a failure! My boy took 3 weeks to hit his birth weight and they didn’t have any concerns. Some babies just take a little longer it’s ok!

Thanks hun, I just think it was really bad of her to talk down to me like I was doing something wrong.im doing my best and my baby is happy,loved,fed and cared for. I'm sure he will gain some more weight but the pressure she put on me was really upsetting xxxx

 

[Hbirdette]

Feel such a failure today, the HV came and baby hasn't gained enough weight she said,he's not back at his bjdth weight and hes 10 days old. So she's coming back next week. Makes me feel like I'm a bad mum,but the last couple of days he's been so irritable with the weather and not really had much when iv fed him.

Don’t worry at all my lovely, I think it’s quite common. My little one didn’t gain his birth weight back by 10 days old. You’re not a bad mum at all, I’m sure you’re doing a fab job

 

[Upintheair83]

@Upintheair83 that’s tit of your midwife. There is nothing at all abnormal about a 10do not having regained birth weight. Where I am, midwives can keep you in their care for up to 28 days as that’s the time period they think of as normal to regain (they will only sign you off their care once baby has regained birth weight and lost cord stump) so 10 days is nothing at all to be worried about.

As long as baby is gaining weight, and having plenty of wet and dirty nappies, that’s what counts. And with the heat I would say many babies aren’t drinking as much. Please don’t feel bad, your midwife is at fault here, not you x



You mentioned a few bits, and it sounds like an awful time for you. It’s great that you are being well supported by midwives x



Glad you’re feeling better! The 8 and 16 week jabs, with the menB, have always caused big upset about 4-6hrs later with my youngest 3 (it wasn’t included for my eldest). It’s not nice at all, but try to get some calpol in him if you can as it really helps (and I don’t give it that much, but it definitely helps for this)

Thanks hun, I really am trying my best and he was so unsettled with the heat. Today he's feeding like a different baby. She made me feel so bad about it. Like I'd failed at the start! Xx

Don’t worry at all my lovely, I think it’s quite common. My little one didn’t gain his birth weight back by 10 days old. You’re not a bad mum at all, I’m sure you’re doing a fab job

That means alot. I don't know what I'd do without the support on here xxx

 

[Hbirdette]

We're doing good, sleep is not happening though she won't go down in her crib so I've had to have her in the bed with me but I'm so paranoid
My nipples are so much better so thanks for everyone's suggestions. Currently still feeding with nipple shields but it's obviously working okay as she has only lost 0.9% of her birth weight . Thought I'd managed to escape the hormone crash but today on day 6 it's came on full force. My partners kids are staying now until Tuesday and its absolutely overwhelmed me, cannot stop crying

Oh bless you that’s a lot having his kids there so soon! I know they’re his kids but that’s intense. Are you able to escape to your bedroom at all?
Pleased your nips feel better though!

 

[WhatABore]

No hun,formula xxxx


Thanks hun, I just think it was really bad of her to talk down to me like I was doing something wrong.im doing my best and my baby is happy,loved,fed and cared for. I'm sure he will gain some more weight but the pressure she put on me was really upsetting xxxx

How are you supposed to control how much he has?
It's crazy! What does she think you're doing? Not feeding him when he cries for food?
It's like they do the total opposite as well! Tell you to feed on demand ect but then tell you you're feeding them too much or they're gaining too much!
That is in no way in your control!
My baby was the opposite this time, she was drinking so much to the point the health visitors weighing her the first week, were so shocked that she'd gained half a pound in her first week!
Babies do their own thing.
Don't ever feel guilty or bad.
You're doing the best

 

[Hairraiser]

I'm just catching up again on this thread. I'm currently under perinatal care. My health visitor had to put in an urgent referal to them at my 6 week check, an initial chat with them was just asking how I was feeling mentally and coping with life now etc. I was under them 2 years ago aswell. Currently just now I'm having weekly contact via webchat, on 2 different medications and they'll be working with me until I feel better. My HV did mention she thought because of my concerns, I'd have to be admitted but perinatal haven't said anything like this to me so I took it with a pinch of salt. There's a really good support group on Facebook (but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post it on here in case it breaches rules, I'll try DM you) xx


I'm currently on this (have been for around 5wk now), I've lost my appetite too. Not sure if it's common, I did mention to the perinatal nurse I've not been eating because I'm just not hungry/I keep forgetting to eat. Both kids are usually up at 7 and it's dinner time before I realise I've not ate at all. She's told me to set an alarm on my phone and make sure I'm trying to eat even small stuff because otherwise I'll just make myself ill

@Hairraiser I'm sorry it won't let me DM you, does anyone know if it's against the rules to share Facebook pages at all?

Thank you for your reply. When you say admitted do you mean to a mother & baby unit? I’m currently in regular contact with my HV as my baby isn’t putting weight on properly. So will mention to them how I’m feeling and see what they say. I’ve had enough of fighting with my mind every single day. I never get a break!

 

[Upintheair83]

How are you supposed to control how much he has?
It's crazy! What does she think you're doing? Not feeding him when he cries for food?
It's like they do the total opposite as well! Tell you to feed on demand ect but then tell you you're feeding them too much or they're gaining too much!
That is in no way in your control!
My baby was the opposite this time, she was drinking so much to the point the health visitors weighing her the first week, were so shocked that she'd gained half a pound in her first week!
Babies do their own thing.
Don't ever feel guilty or bad.
You're doing the best

Thank you. And I need to remind myself that you are right,babies do their own thing. I know it's their job but they don't always know best xxx

 

[Chickenandgravy]

That’s great news that feeding is going so well
I’m sorry that you’re feeling so overwhelmed, it’s definitely something I feel a lot in motherhood - it’s actually taken me a long time to be able to pinpoint what that panicked feeling is. Try and carve out as much time for you and baby as you can. Take her to bed for a long cuddle and a nap while your partner does whatever with his older kids (tell him it’ll be a great way to make sure they don’t feel left out ) and be kind to yourself.

With sleep, I’ve chosen to co sleep, and even after several babies it is still a bit worrying having a newborn in the bed. But as long as you follow safe sleep guidelines for bed sharing, you’re doing as much as you can for safe sleep (same as when you put them in a crib following safe sleep guidelines). And it gets easier, and less scary, after a few days. And will definitely help you get more sleep. It doesn’t have to be forever, and having her in bed for a few days or weeks doesn’t mean she’ll never sleep alone. I always think with sleep you just do what you need to to get by

Thank you, I really needed to hear this today I think the co sleeping thing is so demonised that I was feeling so bad

Oh bless you that’s a lot having his kids there so soon! I know they’re his kids but that’s intense. Are you able to escape to your bedroom at all?
Pleased your nips feel better though!

It is, but they are so excited that I almost feel bad for feeling so overwhelmed. Thats what I've been doing every so often...heading to the room with the baby and just taking 5 to ground myself. Think it would be easier if I knew it was just for one night but we have them for 4 nights now not sure if it's just because the bubble has burst and I was enjoying having my partner to myself for a little while

 

[Hbirdette]

Thank you, I really needed to hear this today I think the co sleeping thing is so demonised that I was feeling so bad

It is, but they are so excited that I almost feel bad for feeling so overwhelmed. Thats what I've been doing every so often...heading to the room with the baby and just taking 5 to ground myself. Think it would be easier if I knew it was just for one night but we have them for 4 nights now not sure if it's just because the bubble has burst and I was enjoying having my partner to myself for a little while

You shouldn’t feel bad at all! Hormones are a crazy thing, especially within days of giving birth! Yeah 4 nights is a lot but as long as you are taking time for yourself and don’t do too much, this time is so precious.
I must admit, I spent 5 nights in hospital with my little one as he was severely jaundiced and I actually liked the fact that it was just my husband and I for the first week (even though he could only visit for an hour a day lol ) and it gave me chance to feel slightly more human before we got bombarded.

 

[OIM]

That is really good to hear! You definitely end up hearing more negative stories than positive ones, so I'm hoping its just a few bad experiences and doesn't speak for everyone. I am prepared for some trying to sway my decision, hopefully once they know I have made my mind up they will just be supportive regardless!

This time around the community midwife I had was amazing when after 3 days I said I wanted to change to formula. She just said ‘absolutely let’s get started’ and was so lovely. I had to go back to hospital for something and the martenity nurse there was then really pushy about me trying to express ‘at least’. When I told my midwife this she said the hospital staff can be a bit ott about breast being the be all and end all but that she truly believes everyone should feed in the way that suits them and their situation.

 

[Icbaaaa]

Thank you for your reply. When you say admitted do you mean to a mother & baby unit? I’m currently in regular contact with my HV as my baby isn’t putting weight on properly. So will mention to them how I’m feeling and see what they say. I’ve had enough of fighting with my mind every single day. I never get a break!

Yeah, it scared me as I thought I wasn't feeling "that" bad but has made me realise just how ill I must actually be then. Definitely mention to your HV please, and don't suffer alone in silence. Motherhood is a whole other world, I always imaged it to be the perfect lifestyle, at home with the kids and housework all done, dinner cooked, me happy as I could be etc but honestly mine is nothing like that. It takes time, I didn't realise how isolating it actually is. When I first went to the GP about how I was feeling after my son, the Dr told me his wife manages fine herself with 3 kids so surely I could manage with 1 and it's not that hard. I broke down crying and left feeling so helpless. This is probably what's made me be so honest and open with my HV as she's more involved in our lives and has done so much to help me. There's a great charity called PANDAS foundation, they help with perinatal/mh. I've never called them myself but check on fb too for support groups. It's helped me realise I'm not in this alone.
You'll be doing an amazing job, what I've always been told is you need to make sure youre looking after yourself and putting yourself first in circumstances. It's so difficult not getting a break, especially if you're not wanting to let your partner/family know how you're really feeling (I've told my partner because he knew about my PND the last time but never told my family for fear of judgement/they don't really believe in MH/antidepressants). Try even take 30 mins to go for a bubble bath, eat your fave chocolate and read a book/watch a TV show on your phone. Even a walk alone/or with baby in pram and put on a podcast (I've only recently started listening to them and it helps me switch off for a wee bit). I know it's easier said than done, I've been there myself but please note it will get easier when you ask for the help by professionals. It's so scary being so open and vulnerable about your situation but they won't judge you, they just want to help get you feeling better and a healthier kinder mindset to yourself. Also I always felt like I was a bad mum for feeling the way I did, I think that's natural when your minds in overdrive and your battling every day but please don't believe you're a bad mum at all. You'll be doing your absolute best, they'll help with baby's weight too. You've got this

 

[Hairraiser]

Yeah, it scared me as I thought I wasn't feeling "that" bad but has made me realise just how ill I must actually be then. Definitely mention to your HV please, and don't suffer alone in silence. Motherhood is a whole other world, I always imaged it to be the perfect lifestyle, at home with the kids and housework all done, dinner cooked, me happy as I could be etc but honestly mine is nothing like that. It takes time, I didn't realise how isolating it actually is. When I first went to the GP about how I was feeling after my son, the Dr told me his wife manages fine herself with 3 kids so surely I could manage with 1 and it's not that hard. I broke down crying and left feeling so helpless. This is probably what's made me be so honest and open with my HV as she's more involved in our lives and has done so much to help me. There's a great charity called PANDAS foundation, they help with perinatal/mh. I've never called them myself but check on fb too for support groups. It's helped me realise I'm not in this alone.
You'll be doing an amazing job, what I've always been told is you need to make sure youre looking after yourself and putting yourself first in circumstances. It's so difficult not getting a break, especially if you're not wanting to let your partner/family know how you're really feeling (I've told my partner because he knew about my PND the last time but never told my family for fear of judgement/they don't really believe in MH/antidepressants). Try even take 30 mins to go for a bubble bath, eat your fave chocolate and read a book/watch a TV show on your phone. Even a walk alone/or with baby in pram and put on a podcast (I've only recently started listening to them and it helps me switch off for a wee bit). I know it's easier said than done, I've been there myself but please note it will get easier when you ask for the help by professionals. It's so scary being so open and vulnerable about your situation but they won't judge you, they just want to help get you feeling better and a healthier kinder mindset to yourself. Also I always felt like I was a bad mum for feeling the way I did, I think that's natural when your minds in overdrive and your battling every day but please don't believe you're a bad mum at all. You'll be doing your absolute best, they'll help with baby's weight too. You've got this

You’ve taken the words right out my mouth, that’s exactly how I imagined it too. It really isn’t. It may well be for some people, but for us it isn’t. It just feels like the days are passing by so quickly & I can’t remember at any point during the day where I actually felt happy. I try and do lots of things with baby but I feel so numb while doing them, I’m not actually getting much joy out of it, thankfully he is, he’s coming along so well which is lovely to see but I do find it really hard to keep it up everyday !!
That’s awful that your GP made you feel like that, I would be making a complaint, some of them have no clue. Typical it came from a man!


I can resonate with not telling family about how I feel. I’ve told my husband and he’s really supportive & helpful but he isn’t a professional so there’s only so much he can do to help me. I did tell my mum how I was feeling, I had a breakdown in front of her while baby was crying & being sick all over me (reflux) & I just poured my heart out to her about my bad pregnancy, my bad birth and how I am now and her reply was ‘but look how amazing he is, here’s here now, safe & sound’ and when I said that I knew that but just feel like I need some help myself to start feeling better she said ‘don’t tell too many people Any of this cause they might think you can’t cope with him & take him away’
That is the last time I tell her anything, I was livid. It actually hurt me more! My mum and I have a really good bond, and usually I can tell her anything but this shocked me, even in that moment when I was in such a state I knew what she had said was the wrong thing.
So this is why I feel I need to reach out to professionals or people like yourself who have been through it themselves & know how im feeling

 

[Icbaaaa]

You’ve taken the words right out my mouth, that’s exactly how I imagined it too. It really isn’t. It may well be for some people, but for us it isn’t. It just feels like the days are passing by so quickly & I can’t remember at any point during the day where I actually felt happy. I try and do lots of things with baby but I feel so numb while doing them, I’m not actually getting much joy out of it, thankfully he is, he’s coming along so well which is lovely to see but I do find it really hard to keep it up everyday !!
That’s awful that your GP made you feel like that, I would be making a complaint, some of them have no clue. Typical it came from a man!


I can resonate with not telling family about how I feel. I’ve told my husband and he’s really supportive & helpful but he isn’t a professional so there’s only so much he can do to help me. I did tell my mum how I was feeling, I had a breakdown in front of her while baby was crying & being sick all over me (reflux) & I just poured my heart out to her about my bad pregnancy, my bad birth and how I am now and her reply was ‘but look how amazing he is, here’s here now, safe & sound’ and when I said that I knew that but just feel like I need some help myself to start feeling better she said ‘don’t tell too many people Any of this cause they might think you can’t cope with him & take him away’
That is the last time I tell her anything, I was livid. It actually hurt me more! My mum and I have a really good bond, and usually I can tell her anything but this shocked me, even in that moment when I was in such a state I knew what she had said was the wrong thing.
So this is why I feel I need to reach out to professionals or people like yourself who have been through it themselves & know how im feeling

Honestly you're not alone at all
I completely understand, and totally agree. I stress so much trying to think of things me and my toddler can do when baby is asleep but if he gets bored quickly or baby wakes up, they both need my undivided attention at that exact same moment and I physically can't split myself in half. Everytime this happens, I get so upset myself and burst into tears because I just don't know how to manage both kids needing me when most of all, I need myself.
Having babies and looking after them is the hardest thing I've ever done in my whole life. I wish my days away/count down till my partners home from work so I know I have help. Your HV will definitely pick up your babies thriving and will reassure you you're doing an amazing job!
Oh my god, I'm so sorry that happened to you!! Especially when you've tried explaining how you're truly feeling thinking you'll have a support blanket there and it's went the opposite way. Do not think for a second anyone will take your baby away. This was one of my main reasons for not speaking up after my son, for the fear he would be taken off of me or social services involved. I thought any signs I "couldn't cope" would be a ticket for them to take him away. My HV reassured me it's only in completely extreme circumstances this happens/very rare, and it's mainly if the child's at complete risk/being neglected etc. There's such a stigma around MH and I personally feel even more so around PND/perinatal mh which is heartbreaking because there will be so many people suffering in complete silence alone with their thoughts and that can be such a dangerous place. Anytime I mention to my mum that I'm having a stressful day she always meets me back with how she was "pretty much" a single parent raising myself and my sister (my dad was on the scene) but it almost feels like a competition and she has the mindset that she raised 2 kids so everyone can and no one needs help, I briefly mentioned I'm on medication for how I'm feeling as she suspected I was feeling "depressed" and asked me but since then hasn't asked how I am (which I'm greatful for bevause I know I'd need to lie to her) and she doesn't help me out with the kids but always helps my sister out. Reaching out will.be the best thing you do honestly, I never realised perinatal was ever a thing until I had my son but they're honestly amazing and so knowledgeable, everything I've told them about how I'm feeling they've never once judged me/made faces/changed body language etc. If a randomer spoke to me face to face for 10 mins, they'd have no idea how I'm truly feeling but I can be so open with the professionals and on here as I don't feel I will be judged/it's anonymous which really helps!

 

[Definitelyme]

@Icbaaaa and @Hairraiser i am so sorry to you both that people have been so unsupportive when you’ve had the strength to share your MH concerns

 

[HoneyBee29]

I'm just catching up again on this thread. I'm currently under perinatal care. My health visitor had to put in an urgent referal to them at my 6 week check, an initial chat with them was just asking how I was feeling mentally and coping with life now etc. I was under them 2 years ago aswell. Currently just now I'm having weekly contact via webchat, on 2 different medications and they'll be working with me until I feel better. My HV did mention she thought because of my concerns, I'd have to be admitted but perinatal haven't said anything like this to me so I took it with a pinch of salt. There's a really good support


I'm currently on this (have been for around 5wk now), I've lost my appetite too. Not sure if it's common, I did mention to the perinatal nurse I've not been eating because I'm just not hungry/I keep forgetting to eat. Both kids are usually up at 7 and it's dinner time before I realise I've not ate at all. She's told me to set an alarm on my phone and make sure I'm trying to eat even small stuff because otherwise I'll just make myself ill

You’ve taken the words right out my mouth, that’s exactly how I imagined it too. It really isn’t. It may well be for some people, but for us it isn’t. It just feels like the days are passing by so quickly & I can’t remember at any point during the day where I actually felt happy. I try and do lots of things with baby but I feel so numb while doing them, I’m not actually getting much joy out of it, thankfully he is, he’s coming along so well which is lovely to see but I do find it really hard to keep it up everyday !!
That’s awful that your GP made you feel like that, I would be making a complaint, some of them have no clue. Typical it came from a man!


I can resonate with not telling family about how I feel. I’ve told my husband and he’s really supportive & helpful but he isn’t a professional so there’s only so much he can do to help me. I did tell my mum how I was feeling, I had a breakdown in front of her while baby was crying & being sick all over me (reflux) & I just poured my heart out to her about my bad pregnancy, my bad birth and how I am now and her reply was ‘but look how amazing he is, here’s here now, safe & sound’ and when I said that I knew that but just feel like I need some help myself to start feeling better she said ‘don’t tell too many people Any of this cause they might think you can’t cope with him & take him away’
That is the last time I tell her anything, I was livid. It actually hurt me more! My mum and I have a really good bond, and usually I can tell her anything but this shocked me, even in that moment when I was in such a state I knew what she had said was the wrong thing.
So this is why I feel I need to reach out to professionals or people like yourself who have been through it themselves & know how im feeling

That’s exactly the reason women don’t tell people about it or don’t speak up about how their feeling because they are scared it’ll be dismissed or nobody will listen. It’s heartbreaking to hear I’ve been struggling to with my mental health from I had my baby nearly 5 months ago, I had a long, difficult labour and a really tough recovery period and finally went to my GP the other day as I’d had enough of it and was finding it hard to function and do day to day basic things and look after my baby. Im on medication now and my HV knows now too and referring me for birth trauma counselling and also going to a private councillor for depression and anxiety. The hardest part was telling people, I hope you get the help you need and keep on at drs etc until they listen to you, you shouldn’t have to keep on at them but sometimes it’s the only way to get anywhere!

 

[moimoi]

I just poured my heart out to her about my bad pregnancy, my bad birth and how I am now and her reply was ‘but look how amazing he is, here’s here now, safe & sound’

This response fucks me off more than anything!!! I hate how women’s feelings and experiences are totally downplayed. I had the same response from family after my traumatic birth ‘he’s here now and that’s all that matters!’ Yeah it’s great the baby is fine but have a thought for the mother who’s actually going to remember and cope with all of the tit they went through.

 

[Icbaaaa]

That’s exactly the reason women don’t tell people about it or don’t speak up about how their feeling because they are scared it’ll be dismissed or nobody will listen. It’s heartbreaking to hear I’ve been struggling to with my mental health from I had my baby nearly 5 months ago, I had a long, difficult labour and a really tough recovery period and finally went to my GP the other day as I’d had enough of it and was finding it hard to function and do day to day basic things and look after my baby. Im on medication now and my HV knows now too and referring me for birth trauma counselling and also going to a private councillor for depression and anxiety. The hardest part was telling people, I hope you get the help you need and keep on at drs etc until they listen to you, you shouldn’t have to keep on at them but sometimes it’s the only way to get anywhere!

@Definitelyme thank you, I'm just so glad I have the professionals to help but it sure is a kick in the teeth when you don't feel supported by your nearest family members.

@HoneyBee29 it really truly is awful! No one should have to suffer alone or in silence and its heartbreaking so many have. I'm so glad you reached out and are getting help now, some people don't agree with medication but it's if it works for you then keep maintaining it! It's so great you're getting counselling, it'll be a safe haven for you and they can help you through it. Definitely agree about keeping on at the Dr's until they listen or if you're comfy enough with your HV they can speak on your behalf. My HV this time around contacted perinatal for an urgent referal and contacted my Dr's to get me on antidepressants. She done the hardest part on my behalf speaking to other agencies stating I needed the help and I can't praise them enough. Wishing us all a speedy recovery and I'm so glad we're not alone