You need to talk to the parents again and be upfront, you have given them so many chances to get some control over the situation. You could mention that you have witnessed him following a stranger to back up your concerns about his safety. He could very easily end up doing this to the wrong person and come to harm.
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That is awful your home is where you should be able to do as you please.My neighbour has two 30 year olds and a 24 year old still at home with her in a 3 bedroom house with 6 living their on total. They are loud and vile and park where they like .
I have no idea how you have not totally lost it with the kid.its annoying and creepy ( I have a some slightly strange window fears ) and I would absolutely crap myself if I noticed somebody peeping through my window.
I just don't understand how he's left alone for long enough to get up to all this nuisance. Where are his parents ,the kid is clearly not safe to be out alone.
I just don't understand how he's left alone for long enough to get up to all this nuisance. Where are his parents ,the kid is clearly not safe to be out alone.
Yeh I have bad days like today, then other days I feel a bit sorry for him cos of his issues/past and inability to make friends on the street.
The parents have another older kid who can’t do anything for himself (requires feeding, dressing etc). So I think they’re occupied a lot with him. I don’t know for sure but I would take a guess that he’s a lot of trouble in the house so they send him outside. Even so it’s not the neighbours job to entertain him. Especially when a lot of us are trying to work.
And yeh the window thing is so creepy!
Do they not have a secure back garden he can play in ?
Yeh they do, he can’t cycle in it though which is what he’s doing most of the time on the street
I know your pain, we have a similar situation with our neighbours kid who just screams all day and crashes his bike into our front door - he’s about 7! I know you shouldn’t have to but I would disconnect my doorbell whilst your home ... might give you some peace!
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It doesn't sound like he's safe cycling out on the street unsupervised either. He obviously struggles with awareness.
He's out approaching adults at a time we are supposed to be in lockdown anyway. Its madness they are aware he has no concept of personal space or boundaries so they should be closely supervising him .or at least keep him in the garden !!
If you really don't want to create any tension , could you maybe get him a garden toy that's suitable to play in the secure garden. Maybe gave a friendly chat with his mum, blame covid and offer him the toy to keep him entertained in the garden
thanks for your suggestions and advice. His back garden is a practical park. He has a swing, a hammock, a climbing frame, a mini fountain, a work bench and god knows what else that I can’t see. I don’t think anything else I can give him would entertain him. He just loves doing whatever mundane things adults do - opening and closing car boots, talking to adults about where they’re going, pretending he’s parking his toy car etc. Even his mannerisms are very adult (folding his arms when he’s talking to you, giving thumbs up etc)
How old is the child? How much understanding/comprehension does he seem to have? for example if you told him not to ring your doorbell anymore would he actually understand what that means? It does sound like he has some serious behavioural issues I’m just wondering if he has learning difficulties and what the extent of them are, it may not be as simple as just telling him not to do something
but generally speaking I agree it does sound really unfair to you and the parents need to keep him in the house and the back garden and take him somewhere else like a park for an hour or so to ride his bike, even if just one parent takes him while the other stays with the older child who needs a high level of care
but generally speaking I agree it does sound really unfair to you and the parents need to keep him in the house and the back garden and take him somewhere else like a park for an hour or so to ride his bike, even if just one parent takes him while the other stays with the older child who needs a high level of care
He is 8. He has ADHD, autism and a speech problems. He goes to a specialist school. And I know he had early childhood trauma too which I won’t go too much into.
He does totally understand that those behaviours are wrong and when I’ve told him off, the next couple of times I’ve seen him he’s apologised and attempted to explain ie “I haven’t looked in your window today, last time i was just checking you were in”. But then he just does it again.
He also likes to antagonise adults. Eg my other neighbours told him to get off their drive with his bike and he’ll continue to go on it by putting just one wheel on almost as if to see how much he’ll get away with/because he craves the attention.
The only thing that stops him doing anything is the threat of his dad, who will come out and scream at him and send him to his room.
Poor kid (and poor you too)I knew a child with very similar issues to this, no self-awareness, no respect/awareness of personal boundaries, no stranger danger, very hyperactive behaviours, constantly craving attention even negative attention, she was also diagnosed with adhd and autism but was actually on the high end of the fetal alcohol syndrome spectrum, it was very very difficult for anyone to control her behaviour, I can imagine the boys parents are at their wits end behind closed doors, hopefully his behaviour will start to improve as he gets a bit older and the school has had a chance to make more of an impact, I think your only real option here is to ask the parents to not let him play out in the street/front anymore as it’s really affecting your quality of life or maybe ask them to agree for his playing out in the front to be at a certain time for a certain duration so you know he will be there at that time and you could be at the back of the house/out shopping or something
They definitely need to sort it out or he’ll be a teenage boy trying to climb into people’s cars and staring through their windows and he’ll be charged with harassment. Hope things get better OP!
Sound to me like his parents cba so just let him roam about. If hes friendly I'd be mortified about him getting snatched. We live on a cul de sac. My daughter plays on the front on her scooter and bike. I sit on the front with her (partner says I look like something fro shameless). She wont approach any one and if someone came to her she wouldnt engage in conversation. But it's something I'm not willing to risk.
I've seen he may have additional needs but not to sound harsh, it's not your problem. Other peoples kids piss me off anyway
Try having a nice word with his parents. Just say he keeps ringing your door beel during conference calls, exaduarate it abit.
Then if it doesn't stop have a harsher word. Maybe get some other neighbours to have a word too. Pisses me off when people dont watch their kids.
I've seen he may have additional needs but not to sound harsh, it's not your problem. Other peoples kids piss me off anyway
Try having a nice word with his parents. Just say he keeps ringing your door beel during conference calls, exaduarate it abit.
Then if it doesn't stop have a harsher word. Maybe get some other neighbours to have a word too. Pisses me off when people dont watch their kids.
Good job hes not looking threw my window. Especially at night when I'm going down for a drink of water. Frighten the life out of him
What an actual brat.
The child isn’t being a “brat.” He has additional needs as the OP has stated and perhaps has very little control over those behaviours. His parents should be supervising him when outside making sure he isn’t getting into trouble or even danger, that’s not his fault. I’m in no way excusing it as the OP deserves to have peace in their own home, but calling the child that only further stigmatises those with hidden disabilities (of which ADHD and autism both are).
So awful you’re experiencing this. Maybe if you’re worried about confronting the parents you could write them a letter and pop it through the letterbox instead?
Society can’t always blame bad behaviour on additional needs! We seem to be surrounded nowadays with kids that are labelled with additional special needs, why is that?? I went to a primary school of nearly 900 pupils, for 7 years, and in all that time there were about 5 pupils with additional needs. My friend teaches in a small country primary school today and she is amazed at how many kids have ‘diagnoses’. Some of these children are so bad, they have kicked her legs, bitten her, and called her stupid. Come parent-teacher evenings, when she raised this bad behaviour, some of these parents replied and said it wasn’t their problem how their kids got on in school. Absolute disgrace. I think many parents are happy to use these ‘additional needs’ labels to just let their kids run about and do whatever they want.
The length of time this has gone on, it is clear to see this child knows what he is doing.
And again I’ll say, that’s up to his parents to nip it in the bud or supervise him! You don’t know him, so to assume he’s just a brat based on a few posts is disgusting and frankly quite offensive as the parent of a child who struggles with boundaries. I can’t speak for anybody else but I can assure you I’m not happy to label my child with additional needs. I very much wish my child didn’t have additional needs so he wouldn’t have to put up with being constantly judged or misunderstood by ignorant people like you.
What you have said here is true about many rubbish parents trying to absolve responsibility for their child’s poor behaviour by getting them ‘labelled’ but I really do think in this case here there is a genuine disability, even if the kid ‘knows what he is doing’ he obviously has very poor impulse control and understanding of consequences, I don’t know whether you’ve ever looked after a child with genuine additional needs but even if they ‘know what they are doing’ it’s not as simple as just telling them not to do it!
obviously I’ve never met the kid and don’t know the family but I’m reading between the lines here and thinking the kid might be adopted and has had a terrible start in life by what has been said about his early trauma, his behaviours sound typical of FASD which is rife in adopted kids and is often misdiagnosed as adhd/autism, FASD is permanent brain damage and the victims of it are incapable of normal behaviour, there may be something like that going on