Neighbour’s annoying kid - help!

[newtoyou]

Just tell his parents he’s an annoying little tit and that you are sick of him. Why are you putting up with this?! Get them told.

Hahaha, I know I'm chicken. I'm putting up with it cos I don't see him often enough (it's dark now when I get home) for me to feel like it's worth it to cause any issue with his mum. Cos I really value having good relationships with my neighbours. Plus the fact he does it do everyone else makes me feel better, and he has stopped ringing the doorbell after I told him to. I do know that I need to say something though and you're right.

Yesterday just really pissed me off cos Sunday afternoons are my chill time and it's such a creepy thing to do.

 

[Web30]

Is thier not a gate on the garden you can lock? I couldnt cope!
Hopefully as winter gets going itll be to cold for him to go out, but his parents need a talking to, tbh if my child had extra needs i wouldnt be letting them out on the street like he sounds to be allowed, they prob do it for some peace but its not fair on you.

 

[newtoyou]

Is thier not a gate on the garden you can lock? I couldnt cope!
Hopefully as winter gets going itll be to cold for him to go out, but his parents need a talking to, tbh if my child had extra needs i wouldnt be letting them out on the street like he sounds to be allowed, they prob do it for some peace but its not fair on you.

Sorry, should clarify it's the front lawn, so it's it's a small patch of grass in front of my living room window that he can just walk up to from the street. So no gate sadly. I'm seriously considering showing him the boundary lines around my property and telling him not to cross them But yeh the dark evenings have been a blessing. He spends the majority of his time riding in circles on his bike, stopping anyone who walks past and giving them the 3rd degree.

 

[Web30]

Sorry, should clarify it's the front lawn, so it's it's a small patch of grass in front of my living room window that he can just walk up to from the street. So no gate sadly. I'm seriously considering showing him the boundary lines around my property and telling him not to cross them But yeh the dark evenings have been a blessing. He spends the majority of his time riding in circles on his bike, stopping anyone who walks past and giving them the 3rd degree.

Id be tempted to put something down on the grass to keep him off. No idea what though

Maybe some thorn bushes

 

[newtoyou]

Id be tempted to put something down on the grass to keep him off. No idea what though

I have day dreamed about an 8t foot metal fence before Maybe one of those motion detector sprays people use on cats lol

 

[Web30]

I have day dreamed about an 8t foot metal fence before Maybe one of those motion detector sprays people use on cats lol

it could work! Then bill his parents for it

Failing that stick a halloween mask in the window so next time he spys it scares him off.

 

[newtoyou]

Just bringing this back with an update cos I’m at the end of my tether.
The kid is now diagnosed with ADHD and autism. He’s also got issues due to trauma.

But he started staring though my window at me so often that I now have to keep the blinds permanently half shut. Since I closed them he now rings my doorbell every day. Usually while I’m working. I just ignore him cos I don’t want to reward him with attention. But I have told him off for both things before.

I need to tell his parents but I don’t know how to approach it. Any tips?

 

[AmberSpyglass]

Just bringing this back with an update cos I’m at the end of my tether.
The kid is now diagnosed with ADHD and autism. He’s also got issues due to trauma.

But he started staring though my window at me so often that I now have to keep the blinds permanently half shut. Since I closed them he now rings my doorbell every day. Usually while I’m working. I just ignore him cos I don’t want to reward him with attention. But I have told him off for both things before.

I need to tell his parents but I don’t know how to approach it. Any tips?

This sounds awful, enough is enough.

Tell his parents that you hoped the issue might resolve itself but the situation has now become untenable and you need them to take control of their Son.

He is disrupting your day to day life, don’t feel awkward and be very firm that his actions are causing you anxiety and are anti social.

 

[LittleMy]

As the parent of an autistic 4 year old who often struggles with boundaries, I think you need to have a firm word with the parents. It’s not on. I’d be mortified if my son was annoying any of my neighbours. What are his parents doing while he’s running around like this? Can’t they keep him indoors or let him play out in the back garden with a lock on the gate and keep an eye on him? I have to have an eye on my son constantly when he plays in the back garden because he’s unaware of dangers and will go into other people’s houses if the door is open. It’s exhausting and I’m hyper vigilant as a result of his behaviours, but he’s my child and he needs to learn boundaries sooner rather than later, for his safety and for the sake of other people.

 

[Sven]

It’s even more important to speak to the parents now because he shouldn’t be out and running around when he should be staying away from people because of the virus. His parents should be teaching him to not stare through peoples windows. I would hate that.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Oh FFS you poor thing. Peering through your window? I'd feel so trapped.
What the hell are his parents doing letting him roam around especially during social isolating?
And they really need to teach him now what is acceptable behaviour - what is *just* tolerable at his age will become quite sinister for a teenage boy. His parents are not doing him any favours and he could get into a lot of trouble.
I'm afraid it looks like you are going to have to bite the bullet and be completely upfront with them - he is now disrupting your work too. Just not on. Good luck.

 

[Saltoftheearth]

Get them told you’re not putting up with it and if it continues you’ll go to child services as it’s a safeguarding issue
What if that was a sexual predator or weirdo he was
Left to be around unattended

 

[newtoyou]

Thanks guys. Yes he’s constantly outside alone riding his bike etc. He has a certain area where he’s allowed to play and he doesn’t go beyond that (I guess it’s where they can still see him from inside). I’m not a parent so I don’t know what’s normal. But he does constantly speak to strangers which is worrying but they’re aware of it.

I just spoke to my other neighbours about it and they told me that he does it to them too and one time rang their doorbell 7x in one day! So it seems I’m not alone. They advised me that I should ignore him (which I do).
It seems the problem with his behaviour is bad enough for them to take him to therapy too.

Re social distancing he does do it for the most part but I have seen him following a stranger and every time this man tried to get 2m away, the kid would follow him. He got a telling off from the stranger

 

[Raininvain]

Just tell them its making you very uncomfortable and your concerned for the childs safety, they will be having all on with him if hes not in school at present but that's not your fault. Can they get a fence put up and lock the gate etc? I've had a similar issue but not as bad with my neighbour whos in his 80s and got some type of mental decline. I got the PCSOs to talk to him and his wife. He has stopped screaming now. Write down the main points of what you want to say if that helps so you get it clear in your head.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Personally I would raise concerns that he is allowed out the front without supervision. He could easily go off and ring the door of someone who takes him inside.

I would be firm with the parents, this is not an overly enjoyable time for anyone especially if you are trying to work/sleep etc.

They need to take control and if that means keeping him in their garden or being out the front with him at all times then that’s what they have to do. I appreciate it’s hard but they shouldn’t be allowing the rest of the neighbour to suffer despite his needs.

Perhaps you could offer to help them in another way (shopping etc) if they were willing to do something more towards his behaviour? It might help them and in turn they might address things more?

 

[Jelly Bean]

And always bear in mind you are not responsible for the boy's medical issues - his parents are. Don't feel guilty for feeling annoyed and concerned. Seems you are actually more concerned than they are - following strangers for eg.

 

[coconochanel]

ADHD or not hes invading your personal space and needs to stop. You need to have a talk with his parents, Sorry but no way would I put up with that.

 

[Sp20191]

Thanks guys. Yes he’s constantly outside alone riding his bike etc. He has a certain area where he’s allowed to play and he doesn’t go beyond that (I guess it’s where they can still see him from inside). I’m not a parent so I don’t know what’s normal. But he does constantly speak to strangers which is worrying but they’re aware of it.

I just spoke to my other neighbours about it and they told me that he does it to them too and one time rang their doorbell 7x in one day! So it seems I’m not alone. They advised me that I should ignore him (which I do).
It seems the problem with his behaviour is bad enough for them to take him to therapy too.

Re social distancing he does do it for the most part but I have seen him following a stranger and every time this man tried to get 2m away, the kid would follow him. He got a telling off from the stranger

So they do have some control over him then? I mean he knows to stay in a certain area and doesn’t go outside of it.

Honestly I’d have told them straight away it’s unacceptable but I know people don’t like confrontation, it’s actually bordering on harassment!

Now more than ever he shouldn’t be outside unsupervised (out the front obviously his garden is fine!)

 

[Itsallaboutmememe]

I had this years ago

we moved into our first house when I was 8 months pregnant with no2 baby

my ex knew the families of kids in our street which I didn’t think too much about-I didn’t know the area at all but he’d grown up there

then it started-the doorbell ringing non stop,kids in our garden,peering in when we’d gone out,one peeing on my flowers etc

i got him to have words and it seemed to calm down

well when baby was born I was breast feeding and at home it was easier to just whip my top/bra off and feed from one side/hold a pad to the other

i was doing this when one of the kids,thinking we’d gone out-peered in from my lounge windows to see me topless while trying to shove a nip into howling babies mouth

i hit the bloody roof-and once baby had been fed I went round to his house and gave it to his mother that I had a right to live in my own home and if he came in my garden again I’d phone the police and the council

she made a point of dragging him home saying he was grounded and I left it at that

2 minutes later he’s back-it turned out she’d been getting ready to go out and didn’t want him under her feet while she was getting ready to go out on the piss!

the police and the council dealt with her/him and i never had any problems from them again

 

[Lardoflife]

Don't let them use his medical issues as an excuse - it's not. As someone who not only works with autistic people (Some have ADHD too, some other conditions) and someone who is also autistic let me assure you that is no excuse for his behaviour. They need to teach him right from wrong because not only is his behaviour creepy and inappropriate now but only likely to escalate and become more worrying as he ages if they do not nip it in the bud now.

You shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable being in your own home and you shouldn't have to keep your blinds closed or wonder how many times he's going to ring your doorbell that day. They need to take this behaviour in hand because it's not fair on you or the other neighbours.

That isn't even going into the current situation with the virus, what the hell are they playing at? If he got it who knows how many people or surfaces he could be spreading it to!