Not sure if I’m in the right place but I need advice.
For reference I am 29 with my own family and house.
The past few years both my parents have made passing comments about my weight, calling me ‘fats’ when they are trying to get my attention in a conversation instead of using my name, or they are calling me ‘Miss trunchbull’.
I have always asked them not to but never seemed to work, I cut them off around 2 years ago as a few other things went on, around 3 months ago I got back in contact due to family emergency, we are all back on track but I’ve noticed the name calling is happening again, they laugh when saying it and it seems to roll off the tongue like it’s fine.
last week I snapped and asked them to stop has it really got to my confidence has I struggle with my weight (I am 14st) when I asked them to stop, my mum tried to turn it on me by saying I was being sensitive and she can’t have a joke with me, I explained that I didn’t see it has a joke and that I clearly asked them to stop, my mum and dad went in a petty mood and said ‘we just won’t speak to you then if you can’t take a joke’.
Yesterday I was walking out of my front garden when my dad pulled up and asked if I wanted to be taken to work, I said ok and got in. The first thing my mum said to me was ‘you need to mow the lawn’ I kindly responded with ‘it fine for today, I am busy, I’ll do it when I’ve got time’ (my lawn is less then an inch tall, so does not need to be done deliberately) my mum didn’t stop, she kept telling me that it was a nice day and that it needed doing, so I made a passing comment and said ‘if it’s that bad, you do it then’ my mum and dad then said that they couldn’t has they were going to mow my sisters lawn. I simply replied and said that they need to stop constantly telling me to do this and do that then in the next breath they are going to my sisters house and cleaning, mowing, dressing my nephews. Everything you could imagine my sister should be doing, my parents do it for her and for no reason, she is capable just lazy. My mum and dad then turned it into a big problem and said that I was yet again being sensitive.
It then went on to me asking why they’ve never been in my house but always go to my sisters house who lives less then 2 minutes away from mine, I told them I feel singled out and picked on like I’m back at school, they keep telling me I’m being sensitive and not taking a joke and that I always bring my sister into it and tbf I do because I am jealous that my sister gets to be what she wants and do what she wants but I can never seem to do anything right. I work my butt off and provide for my own little family, I prioritise everyone to make sure they are happy, so why do I not get this in return?
my son asked his grandma if he could stay over at the weekend, he was told no because they are having my sisters two over for 5 days because she and her husband are going to a festival. My mum and dad have already said they have plans to go to my sisters house and clean because it is like a dump! Yet they are on my case over a bit of grass! Telling me I’m lazy and get out of breath quick that’s why Its not been done. I feel like walking away again but simply can not bring myself to do it again, I would do anything for a loving bond between me and my parents because that’s the type of person I am, but why do I feel like I’m not getting anything in return.
please can I have advice or if you’ve been in similar situations please could you tell me what helped you.