Naomiella #7 Kids being ill is no good for the gram. Drag them out poorly for horse riding spam

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Thank you for the new thread @keytotruth and amazing thread title suggestion @xLJ03x 😂

The last thread really dragged but here’s a quick recap
✨ tattle had noticed that nay only took the kids to see diversity at butlins because we loved that Fran went - of course she sped down there for the final show 😂
✨ after repeatedly claiming to be struggling with her mental health, nay did an ad for an app to seek therapy at a price. In true nay style however the overly fake stories for the mental health ad were deleted along with the grid post with no explanation - tattle guessed it was either backlash from followers or at the company’s request
✨ nay spent a lot of time with the children in august. It turned out the nanny had loads of holiday to use so nay had no choice. As soon as 1st September arrived, nay was back in the hair salon, normal service had resumed
✨ the big day arrived! After going on and on and on and on and ON about Cass starting prep school (not pre school, it’s PREP SCHOOL darling) the day was here. Of course, it wouldn’t be nay unless she had to use the buggy to get Cass from the school car park to the prep school door 😂😂😂😂😂
✨ there was a birthday party at Perri’s house for his gf…nay only took the favourite Cass
✨ nay proceeded to be her usual self by posting about breaking her £325 bottle of LV perfume and then was begging for an LV contact as “hers left” 🙄
✨ a lovely tattler arrived to confirm that she goes to the same music class we’ve seen Cass & Mimi go to - and it was 5 sessions before she realised the nanny wasn’t their mum. So all the times we’ve seen them at the session nay was just posting to stories whatever the nanny had sent over 😒 even worse, while the nanny had holiday, the children had not been to any sessions as clearly nay doesn’t want to take them herself
✨ it became quite apparent due to Cass having a bruise on his head, that nay also edits his face to hide his brows on photos. Truly a new low when your child isn’t good enough without being edited
✨ nay had a tantrum that she couldn’t make the NTA’s so Jordan had to take her away for the night to London and spent £1,000 on some repulsive prada boots. Even better he fell asleep at 8:30 which didn’t please princess nay so all round money and time well spent 😉
✨ the next day they were hosting an end of summer party. As usual Cass & Mimi were shipped off to bed early while everyone else enjoyed the party including their younger cousins 😢
✨ the morning after the party Jordan was up early with the children even though he’s clearly tired from working so much. Nay remained in bed ALL day, Jordan got the children into the buggy with their tablets so he could go and look at watches. Then worst of all nay posted at 18:01 (childrens bedtime is 6pm) saying she had only got out of bed to get her kfc delivery from the door!
✨ after the shocking weekend, nay had the cheek to then complain the kids were awake at 6am, it was still dark outside and Cass had woken a lot in the night. Unfortunately she fails to realise putting them to bed so early doesn’t help and that when you’re parent, you’re a parent 24/7
✨ the mental health ad reappeared, tattle were none the wiser as to why it got taken down originally or why it’s back up again. We were even treated to a selfie during an anxiety attack - which if anyone has experienced will know, you are barely capable of anything let alone taking a selfie but nay must continue to play into the ad
✨ a Sunday arrived and Jordan made sure to put a story up saying how proud he was of nay (for looking after the kids alone, just imagine!) and he sent flowers too. Nothing says true love like a bit of fakeness for the gram🤪
✨ a tattler arrived to say they had seen nay in a restaurant with Cass (possibly the London day out they did) and that unsurprisingly nay was on her phone the entire time, even when eating and cass was glued to the iPad
✨ there was silence from nay which led rattle into wondering what was going on - had the nanny quit? Had she smashed her phone again in a rage about tattle? She was parenting alone, the poor love 😂 or had her eyelashes come off and she couldn’t come on stories 🤣
✨ nay was back 2 days later claiming mimi has severe separation anxiety and she’s getting upset with nay leaving even though they’re together 24/7 - except they’re not. Since Cass started pre school nay has dropped him off, swanned around on her own and then collected him and gone home. tattle were getting pretty fed up with the non stop contradictions - grid posts about her amazing children and how much she loves them vs the true story on her stories showing her never with them, eating alone for every meal, kids in bed by 6 etc
✨ she also revealed that somehow she had forgotten that she’s booked for TEN people to go to Vegas for her hen 🤨 a few tattlers had heard Jordan on the radio saying nay had tried to insist on a STEN (joint hen and stag) in Vegas but Jordan had actually found his balls and said no. He’s instead just having a meal in the U.K. apparently
✨ nay claimed she couldn’t get to Lea Gordon’s baby shower (sponsored by base 🤣🤣🤣🤣) but the next day found fuel to travel much further to her cousins baby shower. In order to make it up to lea though she had to take her out for lunch
✨ Mimi made it clear one morning she didn’t want to have her photo taken or recorded. Nay, the great mother that she is, completely ignored this
✨ nay went to a PLT event and wore some hideous cream tracksuit with the socks up and trainers 😂 but it didn’t matter because her bag and trainers were designer 💁‍♀️
✨ despite her claims Mimi was having severe separation anxiety, nay had spent all week away from her and then had a super hard day sat on her arse for 5 hours getting two tiny blonde streaks put in
✨ nay rocked up to a church for a christening in a cheap tacky white silk nightdress. Tattle were howling at her lack of coat (it was freezing and everyone else had coats on but gotta show the nips off 🤣), the orange tan and the white horse teeth combo
✨ sadly even though it was clearly a family event and other children were there, cass and Mimi had of course been left at home
✨ after claiming Cass had a viral infection, nay claimed Mimi was also ill but had continued to drag Mimi out and about meeting friends, in cafes, at the park playground, etc
✨ nay decided to do a grid post bashing other parents for not helping her with her children. She’d taken them to the farm after collecting Cass from school and both children had “meltdowns” Instead of trying to understand her children’s needs, she instead blamed other parents for staring and not helping her distract her children so they could calm down. Tattle concurred it isn’t another parents place to step in and speaks volumes about nay’s lack of parenting skills. In her own words she dragged them home and said she didn’t understand why she tried to do nice things for them that they didn’t appreciate.
✨ one of Jordan’s ex girlfriends (Jesy nelson) was going onto kiss for promotion reasons and tattle waited with baited breath to see how nay would react. In true nay style, she put up an overly gushy grid post about how her and Jordan met and how they’re “literal soul mates” just to make sure that bish jesy got the message they’re in love and getting married next year 🤣
✨ annoyingly jesy was interviewed by one of the kiss producers and not Jordan and Perri. Nay could stop sweating it now 😅
✨ nay showed that the children had made an autumn reef 🤣 and even better the next day she even got a floral reef for the front door - once she spotted how tattle were screaming at her saying reef instead of wreath she of course had to correct herself
✨ nay went quiet again which seemed to coincide with Jordan staying in a hotel and his battery dying. Tattle suspected she’d had a meltdown thinking he had a girl with him 🤣
✨ nay made a roast once the children were in bed and tattle had already commented on the children’s terrible diets and lack of goodness which couldn’t be helping how often they have been poorly recently but of course, nay couldn’t boil the kettle for the gravy she had to use her super special and amazing boiler tap 💸
✨ nay had a few days off, Jordan even had a day off kiss to look after the kids so tattle were convinced the nanny definitely is long gone. She arrived back to say she had been dealing with her mental health and trauma and her return just so happened to coincide with an event 🤣
✨ the event nay was magically better for was for molly mae (PLT CEO) at the same time as Jordan appeared on “shop well for the planet” you just can’t even begin to imagine the stupidity of them both
✨ the family took a trip into London but of course Mimi was strapped into the buggy with the iPad. Cass was allowed a little more freedom and we were treated to a nips out grid post captioned “running errands with my boy” when Mimi was there! 🙁🤯 comments were made on the post about how cold it is and nay responded to say she took her coat off for the photo 🤣
✨ the next day nay had to respond to tattle by posting herself in a jumper saying “your welcome” and tattle were howling while telling her it’s actually “you’re welcome” you are welcome nay 😘
✨ nay had a professional MUA come and do hers, Laura’s (Perri’s gf) and Fran’s make up for a Halloween party held by a diversity member. Tattle were absolutely SCREAMING at nay’s “outfit” she had a sugar skull face, some kind of bondage set on, thigh high boots and a black and white tutu (she later tagged the outfit which included Ann summers 🤣). She clearly just raided her wardrobe instead of getting an actual outfit. She even uploaded a reel of her walking towards the camera in a dark street, Jordan hadn’t even parked yet 🤣 (it starts on page 40 if you want a laugh) nay’s grid post asked if she understood the assignment which was a big no from tattle
✨ the kids had an insane amount of treats and sugar over Halloween weekend. Even by nay’s standard tattle were shocked
✨ nay was banging on about her birthday AGAIN. Said someone had told her how many days it was until her birthday (her iPhone countdown perhaps 😂) and that she’d be alone in London on her actual birthday and wanted ideas (couldn’t possibly be at home with her children) and suggested that if anyone thought they should be invited to her party and hadn’t received an invite to get in touch 🤣
✨ Jordan asked on his stories if anyone had any ideas for 30th birthday gifts for nay. He seemed to be suggesting more sentimental things. Nay replied (which he shared) asking him for a Lamborghini or a Rolex to which Jordan replied did she think he was Elon musk 🤣
✨ in typical nay fashion she put a grid post up about her bestest girl Mimi having her school interview ready for being enrolled next year. She said that she would miss having her around and all their adventures, that while she might not always feel great she does her best to give them a great childhood and spend all their time together etc blah blah. It’s so odd she writes posts like this when her stories show her behaving entirely differently
✨ Cass was ill again but nay still sent him to school so she didn’t miss out on her brunch and claimed to have mum guilt over it 😒
✨ of course nay was moaning she was on her own with the kids while posting a grid post saying she NEVER asks for help - while employing a cleaner and a nanny and having papa banjo on speed dial
✨ cass was sent into school despite being ill and Mimi was then also ill too but of course instead of letting her stay home in the warm and rest, she was dragged out for horse riding which nay complained that Mimi had “acted up”. Nay had continued to film all of it and not even spoken to her daughter to ask if she’d had enough and wanted to go home
✨ she even dragged both of them round the supermarket and seemed shocked how poorly they both were once home, crying and falling asleep. Of course in nay’s world it’s just “a viral going round”
✨ despite having all possible symptoms of Covid, yet again, this was completely ignored
✨nay booked the kids in at the doctors but ended up not taking them because “they perked up” old tattlers will recall that Mimi ended up in hospital last year due to nay ignoring how ill she actually was. It’s just rinse and repeat at this point
✨ the attempts to hide that Cass is the favourite child has become a lot more noticeable in recent months. Nay put a grid post up talking about how both children had been ill but the photos only included Cass!!!
✨ nay did a q&a which is always tattle gold 🤩 when asked if she’d see her family at Christmas it was a straight no! Saying they ALWAYS spend it with the banjo clan and they host. When questioned further about her family she said they live in Devon and they’re not close just different, she always invites them to Christmas but they have other commitments. She also wouldn’t go to them as Christmas Day is the only time Jordan gets with the kids.
✨ it seems ads have truly dried up for little miss influencer and she began spamming her stories with affiliate links to everything she could find 🤣
✨ nay obviously left the kids while poorly to flounce off to try some clothes on at a cheap and tacky Essex boutique
✨ it seemed either the nanny was back or nay had the help she never asks for as she had breakfast for 1 and errands which included sitting in the hairdressers for 5 hours 🤨
✨ nay continued with the cheap affiliate links and more q&a content. She claimed they manifested their new house by driving around looking at big houses until they spotted one for sale and THEY worked so hard *cough Jordan does cough * and that NO-ONE has helped them get where they are today and they did it all before 30 (except diversity was the work of Ashley banjo 🤣)
✨ despite the endless claims they never get time together, nay and Jordan went to the cinema
✨ nay spent the morning riding and then had the cheek to say she never stops - yeah constantly going for breakfast, the cinema, hair appointments and lash appointments must be exhausting while leaving your children with other people
✨ nay and Jordan were off for a date day and night because they get NO time together, as a couple or a family so they choose to spend the weekend away from their children! Obviously this meant we were subjected to a constant stream of stories of their every move, nay saying JORDY IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and just general teenage antics
✨ nay just had to put up a grid post of her and jordy about their quality time together but that “obviously we miss the kids so have left early”…to go to Perri and Laura’s house to see their dogs! 🤯🤯🤯🤯
✨ the thread finished with nay turning up to the studio to see jordy EVEN THOUGH THEY GET NO TIME TOGETHER!
Just some screenshots to tie in with things mentioned in the recap. I’ve included the legendary cheese board because it makes me roar and proof the house was listed on the market along with the damn bus stop outside their garden 😂



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Will go through the recap for my own humour!

But another pic of mimi at the back end of a horse! I hope to god it don’t ever kick out. Stupidity at its finest!!!

Maldonado loaning about her and being clingy! She has to have Nay in eyesight! Well that’s fucking hard when your nowhere to be seen 😡


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So Jordan put a video up with Perri yesterday of them taking shots with pens into a glass and saying things like “when you get married you’ll have to divorce your wife in a week” to each other. Jordan said I’ll get a sexy pic from your mum and got his pen in the glass - this is nay’s comment 🤣🤣🤣🤣 can’t she take a joke? It’s called a bit of fun Hun 🤪


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I actually can’t believe the girl, she has edited Cass’ brow out of one of his little school book pictures. You can see in one or two he has a really really dark thick brow but in others she’s put that blur between it. Just awful.
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