Coffee Moaning for Monday. Hope your weekend went well. That live last night was painful.
Title today is "Garden Party Fury, The Grinch That's Stealing Christmas, Raab Rage."
They are late. Ruth went and saw The Human League in Bournemouth. Julie says there is a chance of snow in Yorkshire on Wednesday. Deer Heart is not in the mood this year. Why, oh why doesn't Nadia set fire to the director's cap of Mark's? Burn it and he can't possibly wear it again. He says it was frayed when he bought it. He is wearing his Grinch shirt and has a fruit sticker on his forehead.
He tells her to press it and Mark makes an obnoxious noise.
You are only encouraging the behaviour Nadia. Helen sent him a Xmas tie and he is now going to attempt to put it on. It's a distaster. Nadia wants to have a go, as she had a tie with her uniform. It's a musical tie. Natasha sent a card. Cue the STOP SENDING US STUFF AND STOP SPENDING YOUR MONEY. Mark thinks Nutella should put raisins in "it would be a taste sensation."
(You know that Vlogmas where they did that stupid sultana porn? Did you see how poorly EDITED that was? When the camera was on Mark for his reactions, the jar was already filled! ) Nadia says you could make a mousse out of Nutella. Take some cream and whip it, whip it good
,fold in the Nutella and then the raisins, (The tie goes off) toasted hazelnuts with a splash of rum. "I know raisins are poisonous for dogs, except our dogs. Our dogs aren't poisoned by grapes, raisins or chocolate" as they have accidentally eaten those.
Why does that not surprise me?
Nadia says they have to whisper as they don't want the kids to know how shit they are feeling. She put a question up on Insta, how are you feeling and loads of people are feeling like shit. Talk about the SAGE reports leaked. "It's all so dramatic and they are playing with our feelings of mental health." Mark says they know they are lucky, but feeling deflated, etc. Talk about Raab, did you see it? Nadia tries to say incredulity in regard to Kay Burley. Raab said it wasn't a party, because those people had suits on.
Kay Burley said it was all there in the picture. Talk about them mentioning the cheese at this party and what are your favourite cheeses. Tales of the plebs versus the elite. Talk abou the old lady with the cup of tea and the two girls out for a walk and a coffee. "There was a trestle table with bottles of wine" says Nadia. Nadia mentions Denise Welch and how people think she "is a bit too crazy with it all."
Isn't she sunning her arse out in Barbados? Nice for some. "She said 'What message does this give us? It gives us the message that they weren't frightened of COVID at all.'"
This time last year, we had provincial ministers going off to the Caribbean and Hawaii for Xmas. Bastards! 
Nadia says someone mentioned can we just let this go and Nads says we can't, because everything is affected by the way these people think of us. "They are playing fucking games up there and not giving a damn!" Mark thinks they gov't think they will ride through this and there are more serious issues it is distracting from. Chrissies says we get the gov't we deserve, everyone knew who Boris was.
True. Didn't they lose a safe seat to the Lib Dems recently? Faith says if this was a foreign country, why are the people voting them in?
First Past The Post Faith. Get rid of that and people's votes count.
Nadia said Boris was furious with a reporter asking about the party and says people on the outside are thinking we are run by dictators.
This outsider says there isn't that much leadership going on anywhere really. Trudeau has had to have his arse kicked by the NDP, Sleepy Joe is on his 10th nap today, Macron is bitching about the British. Mark says there is nothing else to say other than be furious. Mark wants daily updates so they can explain and defend themselves. Dragon Rose is sick of conflicting info. Jess has cancer and has to go through treatment alone. She is palliative and had to give this news to her parents over the phone. Deer Heart wants a crumpet but they are so fattening. Nadia says have the crumpet. Talk about fear selling papers. Mark asks if there are any chatters who is keen for lockdown to happen? Mark says the gov't is testing public opinion, is the decision based on science or keeping the Tories in power? Nadia talks about the triple vacc'd yoof scared of infecting their triple vacc'd grandparents.
I didn't think the yoof were allowed the booster yet in Britain? 'We've been vaccinated, we have 90% antibodies, what the fuck?" as Nadia so eloquently puts it.
Mark says Nadia had a rant on her Instagram and she says "well, I controlled myself." "If I was to let rip on how I actually feel, it wouldn't be good. I'd never work again."
Aw c'mon Nads. Any publicity is good publicity. I could write it for you! 
Talk about taking tests before visiting and Nadia goes on about being all dressed, triffle in the car, take the test and you are positive "caught it in the bloody air!"
That's usually how the virus is transmitted Nadia. Jess is getting her 4th jab in January.
In case you want to know, Nadia is
percent against a lockdown. "You can't make everyone shield." Mental chat. Chrissy says it's not about the virus, it is about the HOSPITALS. Nadia: "But we can't shutdown the wooooorrrlldd." Mark says a circuit breaker is different from a lockdown. Nadia says he keeps saying that, "but it will feel like a fucking lockdown for people babe." Mark says Labour supports the circuit breaker. Nadia asks when the gov't is going to sort out the NHS? She brings up the track and trace debacle and the money spent on their friends' businesses. Mark is worried about the public's lack of trust in the gov't. Nadia says that Dina said that all her life she only wanted as a present was private healthcare.
What? I don't why it seems that the British public don't rail against the parallel healthcare system that exists there. The privatisation by stealth is for the benefit of insurance companies, mainly American ones. They have been trying there best to destroy our system for decades. Chezza Babes says even people in happy homes can't take another lockdown. Nadia says she suffers from survivor's guilt over this.
Oh Nadia, such a water sign.
Garden party: Would you wear a suit? What would you eat? Someone in chat mentions they are an NHS manager and says the NHS has a low percentage of managers in relation to the size of the NHS and is grossly underfunded.
Why is that not surprising? Stack the work, stress, but no compensation. Nadia says all they hear about is NHS money is misspent. Mark wants to move on from this. Nadia is buying cheese, red wine and a baguette. Mark is 51 years old and does not know what a vol-au-vent/volovant is. Nadia goes all Masterchef describing volovants. Jenny loves a cheese and pineapple hedgehog
. Mark and Nadia love Red Leicester. "How come I've only found this out about you in the last 5 years?" asks Nadia. Nadia loves Red Leicester with loads of butter on white bread with cheese and onion crisps.
Patricia wants to stand in a garden and just scream. Nadia ditto. "Shall we do that one day? Just do a big scream?" Queen Curtis asks for tips on quitting drinking and Mark says yes, but this isn't quite the right venue.
Mark is thinking about doing a mental health on drinking. Someone mentions melted Brie with garlic bread
. Cloddagh says deep fried Brie.
Nadia reminds us of the pastry wrapped Brie she died a while back. Mark says it reminds him of fondue and it makes him sick.
Linda says glace cherries wrapped in smokey bacon and roasted.
Nadia has liked Stilton since the menopause. Chelsea girl wants to wear a kilt and eat crumpets. James wants to be naked, eat cheese strings and drink Bucks Fizz.
Lorraine mentions walnut cheese. Nadia points at Mark and tells him not to lie, he has never had walnut cheese. He then mentions smokey Austrian cheese and he doesn't like it.
I have loved that smokey cheese since I was a little kid. Nadia loves dolce latte with the most perfectly ripe Conference pear. Nadia jumps Mark's bones wanting cheese and wine. Someone says Boursin. Leeeeeee needs cheese and wine right now.
All this talk of wine, cheese, bread and butter, someone is going to have to rolled out the door. Plug for Lee's Insta.
WE HAVE TO HEAD OFF. Mark wants to make a Xmas cake and Nadia tells him rightly it is too late. He accuses her of being a downbeat. "Why not be enthused and say why don't you have a go, it might be ready in time." She relents. GUYS HAVE A LOVELY DAY, LOTS OF LOVE AND VLOGMAS WILL BE LANDING. Laters!
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