Set your alarms, Tattlers. A month's old 'film' featuring manic Mark Addlerley, excited Di and exhausted Nadia Sawalha sitting in a car as they drive to Cornwall - AGAIN - premiers at 6pm this very evening. 
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Nadia Sawalha #46 Several teaspoons of Gin, desperate to be thin, the whole house is a bin.
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Set your alarms, Tattlers. A month's old 'film' featuring manic Mark Addlerley, excited Di and exhausted Nadia Sawalha sitting in a car as they drive to Cornwall - AGAIN - premiers at 6pm this very evening.
It won't stay for long, it takes too much effort to go through the papers every morning looking for things to discuss. It will be a 2 minute wonder, as per usual, especially if it is left to Nadia to sort out.The worst thing is that the chatters want it to be a mainstay!
How prophetic Miffysmate Day Two of the revamped Coffee Moaning and Mark Adderley is flying solo sans papers.
In other entirely predictable news: Don't be distracted by the horrors of Mark Adderley's face but it would appear that leaving their expensive gifted garden furniture out in the rain for the winter season has become an annual pre-Vlogmas tradition. Get ready for a January exclusive: the first recorded case of cushions with mange.
Coffee Moaning for Thursday. Are you ready for this? I'm not, but I shall plod on. Title is "Infection Rates Soaring, Cervical Success, BioTerrorism, Xmas Ads, Jurgen v. Giuseppe." Will this be better than yesterday? Yesterday's ranked a 4 on the Glasgow Coma Scale.OH FFS! It's Mark singing Happy Birthday. Shut the duck up!
That was for Cesar who is 49 today. Mark received his his flu jab invite. Mark says if you don't like the intro, wait 2 mins, then spool forward. Someone says they like their houseplants. Probably fake. 
Roll call! Card sent out, should arrive today or tomorrow. Mark says it is "a jampacked day." He has loads of learning to do and later they aren't going to be around because they have something to do. Is it that Silkwood shower I suggested a few days ago? Later this evening they will be reacting to the John Lewis Xmas ad. Opinion-I don't think Xmas ads should air until after Rememberance Day. 
Miriam has seen it and Mark asks what it was like in 1 word. She says boring. Feed skips. Gabriella thought the ad had been pulled. It looks like Nads is at Loose today."How are we all this morning?" Nicola broke her foot. Mark says he has never broken a bone, but if he does it will be on a vlog. The Cornish Vlog is landing tonight. Talks about him doing County Secrets for Channel 5. LIsts the ones he did, says counties are archaic in this day in age. Spoken like a typical metropolitan, uni-educated twatwaffle from London.
Cesar's wife is from West Yorkshire. Mark says they didn't do West Yorkshire and to that I say, what're you good fer? Infection rates surging. "Let's squash the mood shall we?" Guess what? The member's area is getting Advent stories. Thrilling I know. Says Nadia is a bit bah humbug about Xmas, but if the chatters are excited, he is excited. "Without you it would be boring as tit." Infections are at their highest recorded level. They say if the work at home thing isn't instituted again, it could be worse. I have to get my COVID ID sorted, if I want to go to the cinema anytime soon. Chat about people acting like COVID isn't an issue, lack of hand sanitizing stations and masks. Talk about letting the virus run through school to create immunity, it peaked in Kiki's school and has disappeared. Burly certainty with Jonathan Van Tam. Question: Who still hand sanitizes? Yes and no. Cesar says there is need to go back to normal. I just noticed that they have Xmas lights up in the form of those stars on the patio doors. (I went out for a walk on Monday night and I kid you not, one of the houses had their pine tree festooned with Xmas lights and then when I was walking home, I see in the living room of a townhouse a fully lit and decorated Christmas tree! What is wrong with people?
) Mark thinks masks should be mandatory on trains. Most of the chatters sanitize all the time. Good news about the HPV vaccine for cervical cancer. There are now 80% lower in cases of cervical cancer in comparison with previous generations. Mark talks about some programme where they were talking about vaccines and choosing not to have them, blah, blah. Mark mentions they do the HPV vaccine in schools, Izzy and Fleur have had it, no idea if the other 2 have. Emma asks what Mark thinks about vaccine mandates in New York for city workers. Do we give a toss? Oh, hehee, a magpie just walked by on the deck.
Someone else asks him about Owen Patterson and Mark says it doesn't surprise him, the Tories covering for each other. Tra la la is going on a family vacay to NYC and has to get her 15yo vaccinated. Mark keeps swigging every last drop of his coffee cup. Mark promotes this PCJ rushes thingy on Fridays. This turns to talk about the film Rust and the shooting fallout. The armourer's lawyers are saying that live ammo could have been planted by a disgrunted crew member. Mark mentions the bitching over hours and poor accommodations and says it sounds like what is standard at the BBC.
Something about someone putting live rounds in the dummy rounds box. Hilaria Baldwin says Alec is in the throws of PTSD. Some chatter asks if Hilaria faked being Spanish, like that has anything to do with the price of potatoes. Jenny asks after the dogs and Chi Chi is a lot better and Toffee is getting better. Mark warns us that he is getting something delivered so if he bolts, we know where he is. Just noticed the gifted sculpture is sitting on the ground with the plants. 
Fleur and Izzy are doing brilliant, Izzy is doing a new course. He is seeing Izzy later this month and he went for coffee with Fleur not long ago. If you wanted more reason to stay in your home, Bill friggin' Gates. He warns of smallpox terror attacks. Cesar says the US military have been preparing for that for years. "We have to look to uncomfortable truths and possibilities." Who is watching Bake Off? Mark says it is making him want to bake. He mentions that constipation on a plate Yule Log he made. He put the ganache on the outside.
"It was so rich, nobody could eat it..well they did." My mum does the Jamie Oliver Yule Log and it is delicious. 
Are you team Jurgen or Giuseppe? Carla says she can't stand Prue Leith. 
Mark loves Noel and Matt. I think Noel has mainstreamed his look too much. 
Mark tells us, as if we didn't know, that producers are John Lewis advert later tonight. Mark mentions the various big advertisers, Sainsbury's, Coke, M&S, Aldi. Everyone seems to love the Coca-Cola ads. Mark has to go as the delivery is here. HAVE A LOVELY DAY, 6 O'CLOCK JOIN US FOR PREMIERE RESPONDING TO YOUR COMMENTS, BE THERE, BE SQUARE, LOTS OF LOVE AND HAVE A LOVELY DAY AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CESAR AND EVERYONE HAVE A LOVELY DAY AND SOLAR FLARES OH MY GOD, JOHN LEWIS ADVERTS, COCA-COLA ADVERTS EERRAAAHHH! What a load. Seems like Ashley has been replaced by Cesar.
Later all!I’m convinced Cesar used to be known by a different name 
They congratulated him the other day for being a member for 22 months but they only started to mention his chatter a couple of months ago. Anyone know who he has changed his name from? His chatter is read out on every CM now! Bloody annoying teacher’s pet 
They congratulated him the other day for being a member for 22 months but they only started to mention his chatter a couple of months ago. Anyone know who he has changed his name from? His chatter is read out on every CM now! Bloody annoying teacher’s pet 
Ooh how exciting… 
What is COAMP?
Their podcast - Confessions of a modern parent
It's absolute BS, so save your ears.
I'm sure they vlog in the car so they can put car repairs and petrol down to 'business costs'.
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Thank you!! I couldn't figure it out x
nooooooooooooooooooo its far to exciting.................
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The worst thing is you just know he has a Tom tank once he put the camera down.
Nitty very nicely skirted around the subject of Onlyfans when they were discussing it on Loose Women today. She had nothing to say about stripping off for money even when Carol said you have daughters she ignored her and I hate the way she paints this picture of moodie as being such a good girl. We've all seen the pictures and she's far from being a good girl and I wouldn't be surprised if she is already raking the money in for her sleazy pics.
Confessions of a modern parent, their podcast.
So thryve vlogged driving to Cornwall??? And people are exited by it???
What the hell was the crap intro? Thought it was a bbc school science programme fro the 70’s. It’s like all the rest of their hols same filthy clothes same walk same old same old. I honestly can’t tell these holidays apart. And those dogs crated under all that filthy luggage wicked sods.
So they drove to cornwall, and nadia complained about nanny di, and the weather, but she tried to make herself feel better by thinking of people in afghanistan (i.e. people being hung for apostasy or stoned to death or somethiing?). Must be lovely in those last moment of life, as the noose is being tied around your neck to know that you making a hasbeen television presenter feel better about her staycation; must be a real silver lining.
LIKE WHAT THE duck IS SHE....
LIKE WHAT THE duck IS SHE....
His nostril hair dominated the whole of this vlog. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse he decides to zoom in on himself.
Mark just endlessly rambles into the camera during the vlogs. Either vlog properly or don't bother!
Either vlog properly or don't bother!- Status