Coffee Moaning and it is Father's Day, you know that day that Mark thought only came into existence when he became a father?
I am dedicating this post to
@Hopscotch for screwing up--love ya babe!
The title is simple today "Father's Day Coffee Moaning-Reading Out Your Messages and Tributes."
Claire is in the hospital and doesn't have her charger, so she is going to miss the live. Claire, you can catch this shower later, no worries.
She took an overdose stemming from her chronic pain.
Debbie Sanderson said the member's live left her in tears.
What the hell went on there? Gabrielle is meeting up with family as her cousin died 2 years ago. This is turning out to be a jolly Father's Day eh? Shelley Ridler was bawling after the member's live as well.
Holy crap! Claire went missing and was sleeping on a park bench freezing.
I swear the chatter are more interesting than Mark and Nads. I love it when they just carry on convos without them.
Speaking of those two, they pop up mid sentence. Mark shows us the card that Kiki made, with her permission, and it looks like a lemon with a red and white striped apron, holding a chainsaw above its head. The expression is this
and it is to represent her father in the garden. She is a really good artist. She has the basics down and if she gets further education, ahem, she will go far I'm sure. Nads is, of course, thrilled that she is an artist what with her being all bohemian and
tit.
They mention the live No Use Shower Show and how emotional it was. Mark says how the Tedster's philosophy of life chimes with his own. Nads says a girl with a good father will find a good partner.
If you missed the member's live, they will put up the link on the community page. Leeeeeeeeee's here. Says he has recovered from a heavy weekend. "I was going to text you today to see if you were still alive!" Hair fluffing. Happy Father's Day to Lee Peart's dad. Shelley says Lee always looks incredible. Nads is on the phone, she has to text Hannah. Ever the professional. Requests for more Happy Father's Day. It's Janice's birthday and Mark does his squashed tomatoes and poo version.
Mark says to send Claire a hug and tells her to reach out to supports and sends she is a must loved member. Nads talks about the Samaritans. Someone mentions the text service Shout. Happy birthday to Belle who is 3, awww. Claire feels the love and is overwhelmed. Happy Birthday to Jennifer Rose who has never had a shoutout and is 30. Oh here we go, Brenda says that Nads ignores her messages, it makes her sad and she doesn't know why. (I could be a really harsh
witch here, but decide not to as it is the Lord's day
. It might change though.
) Nads says the only messages she ignores are rude and the messages go by fast. Big hugs for Brenda. Mark says he has a composite dad from the men in his life, Teddy, Jim, Izzy's granddad and Liz (interesting
shame she didn't teach him how to put up drywall) and obviously dad/granddad? Talks about him being a conservative rock in his life. (Why must he do that? I ID as socialist, but even I know not all conservatives are from the every man for themselves mould of Thatcher. Bourgeois twatwaffle.
) Tim Reid got a gift from his sponsee. That's nice.
Rachel is a primary school teacher and pumps Mark and Nads' tires a bit, helping her get through the week and mental health stuff. Mark says he is having a good day today, earlier in the week was lousy and he will go into further detail about his meds and diagnosis. When that will be? Your guess is as good as mine. Rees suggests going to the Saatchi Gallery, they have a good exhibition on. Jess says she had to reach out for support after taking sertraline for one day. Mark says they never give advice, just share their experiences. Nads says it is good to go to a proper professional she says laughing. Yeah, so there's that.
Someone says they love Davina McCall, but she is getting all the credit and it was Nads who changed their life about HRT and menopause chat. "Oh, thank you" says Nads. More Father's Day shoutouts. Someone mentions their husband is going through a terrible time today, missing their dads. Mark somehow extrapolates this into what sounds like that Prince William's brother claptrap; the job of parents is to "try and minimize the damage we that experienced as we go through out parenting." Mark reflects on his failures with his eldests daughters coming from broken homes and what not.
The messages go flying up. (Remember when they slowed it down and then the chatters bitched about it being too slow?) We are now on to the news with John Bercow joining the Labour Party.
What? "John Bercow is Nadia's fat crush."
Body shaming. Mark asks Nads if she would leave him for Bercow. She says no, but her eyes say I am thinking about a greasy hamburger.
She says she doesn't like the implications that he is a bully, but she is wowed by his use of the language. Good Ship Lollipop says he is a bit sleazy to which Mark replies "but Nads likes a bit of sleazy."
Oooh, I say! 
Mind you she married to Mark. Mark says he is like a Charles Dickens character. Nads:"He's a wordsmith." Mark:"Yeah, alright. You used to say that of me.
" Silence. "You didn't back me up there, flippin 'ell, alright then, leave that one hangin'." Nads: "Flippin hell, awright then? I don't think John Bercow would say that would he?"
Mark:"Good grief, hurl me the baton and let me get myself out of here rather sharpish..." Mark critiques his betters' turn of phrases. Where so-called normals would say um and ah, they would be more flowery and descriptive. GUYS HIT THE SUBSCRIBE BUTTON AND THE NOTIFICATION BELL. HIT THE THUMBS UP, THERE ARE 500 OF YOU AND ONLY 100 THUMBS UP.
July 5th is possible freedom day says Sky News. "This sounds like good news, go!" says Nads. Chat about 2nd jabs. (Meanwhile in Canada, 75% have had the first jab and 20% are fully vaccinated. There was a case this week where a fully jabbed person got COVID and died though. Don't know all the details.) Do we think we will be out July 5th? Terry says Bojo says they won't. A chatter says Boris is a buzzkill.
"It's the hope that kills us" says Nads.
Mark asks about dad jokes. Nads says her dad is naturally funny.
So a social media comp for dad jokes and the winner is this one. "I once hired a limo, but when it arrived the guy driving it walked off. I said excuse me, are you not going to drive me? The guy told me the price didn't include a driver, so I spent 400 pounds on a limo and have nothing to chauffeur it." 
"Why did the man fall down the well? Because he didn't see that well." Whomp, whomp. "What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey." Ha, ha. "Someone has glued my pack of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it."
"What do you call a zombie who makes stirfrys? Dead Man Woking."
"I kept wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, and then IT HIT ME." "I was stood behind a customer behind an ATM when he turned around and said 'Could you check my balance?', so I pushed him and his balance wasn't that great." Nads says that is her favourite. "Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field." "What did the daddy buffalo say to his son when he went for work? Bye son." Get it? Bison, bye son.
Nads says they love a cheesy joke in their house. "Two guys walk into a bar, the third guy ducked."
I had to think about that one.
Okay, just to have a little
witch to say how much
I HATE the new update of Windows. The bloody news window keeps popping up.
Okay, the chatters are submitting their dad jokes. Here is one. "Seven dwarves in the bath, they all felt happy, so he got out."
The penny finally drops for Nads and she says "I don't think that is politically correct. I think we are getting into dangerous territory Mark. We'll get accidentally cancelled." Nads screws up a joke about a bear and cheese. So Mark says he is off to be spoilt.
I think that happened ages ago. Nads is going to let Mark choose a film and she is going to make more of her delicious food. (I thought they were going out for lunch?)
Mark says "And thanks Laura Smith for the aubergine emoji." 
SENDING YOU LOTS OF LOVE FOR FATHER'S DAY, HIT THE THUMBSUP AND THE SUBSCRIBE BUTTON AND WE LOVE YA AND OH, GUYS TOMORROW NIGHT 7 O'CLOCK I AM DOING A LIVE INSTAGRAM WITH MY YOGA TEACHER SO ANY QUESTIONS COME TO THAT LIVE. ALSO, HANNAH IS GOING THROUGH HELL HAD BREAST CANCER 3X, EVERYTHING IS UP IN THE AIR FOR HER, I WANT TO SAY ON HER BEHALF A HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO PETE, HE IS AN AMAZING DAD, FIRST FATHER'S DAY. HAVE A LOVELY DAY, LOVE YA BYE! Later all!
Nadia would definitely say something this nasty and thoughtless 
wow Melanie Blake is ‘The Dominic Comings’ snitch of the ShowBiz World!!!
