Coffee Moaning for Sunday. Hope your weekend is going well for you all. Title today is "Lisa and Nadia talk relationships, Parenting Teens, Friendship & Coming out of Lockdown." There is nice little palsy walsy snap of Nads and Lisa before the live. They have skull ornaments hanging from their ears.
This might be an interesting live, a nice reprieve from whatshisname. Here we go 7 mins late!
So we have Lisa and Nads, camera adjusting goes on as Nads says that Mark needs more time.
Take all the time you need bud.
Lisa and Carlitos cheered him up. She says he is feeling fragile but then says that is not the right word. Who gives a
duck really at this point eh? Nads tries to do the roll call and Lisa mentions how fast the chat goes. The words
duck me were employed. Lisa seems amused by the novelty of it all. They have their coffees at the ready. Lisa mentions Nads doing an amazing thing and Nads doesn't know what. "Have you forgotten already?" Are you new here Lisa? Nads remembers they were saving lives whilst making coffee. Lisa does an impression of this bee on its last legs and Nads frantically mixed honey and water.
They caught it all on camera. Morning Carlitos! Shows us the footage and telling us as it was taking in the glucose it was growing. "It was burgeoning with honey and water." Some family row over slippers and two fingers x4 used.
They are off to Brighton and Mark is staying to have a bit more rest. Nads blows more smoke up the subs arses, thanking them for being so wonderful. It seems Skye Elise has too much time on her hands and did a montage of the best No Not Now
tit Show bits for Mark, in lieu of the original. Ellen says she will look after Mark and sort her drawers and cupboards out. Lisa says "Good luck with that! No, no. Just don't go there, Jesus Christ. Because the next day it will be completely the same it is now." Lisa knows what we all know, Nads can't be arsed and likes living in a shithole. So today's live is going to be a bit like a Loose Women show.
Lisa says she can't compare to Mark "He is so intelligent."
That is debateable. Lisa was skittish about doing CM, as she can only talk
tit. Xander is okay says Ashley. Nads wants more details and big hugs to Xander. He lost his brother in the last few months as well. (I can't believe I am saying this, but I miss Xander. WTF?)
Nads talks about her anniversary coming up and asked Lisa her secrets to being married 25 years. Lisa :"It's a bloody life sentence."
Nads says those who say they haven't had tough times in their marriage are rare or bullshitters. Says there were many times early in their marriage that she wanted to leave. Nads says of Lisa's marriage that they have such an understanding between them and they genuinely like each other. Goes on to say how you can love someone, but not like them and that she has said that to Mark (I can believe that.) Says she knows a friend who will say she loves her husband, but won't ever say she likes him. Lisa says that's bad.
Nads asks her her happiest point in marriage and she can't think of just one.
She says there are loads and she didn't know she was going to talk about her marriage. Nads wants Lisa's opinion on why her and Mark's marriage works. (It doesn't work so much as grumbles along.) Lisa evades it and says her happiest moment was having her boys and the wedding day. Apparently she told her husband that since she is taking the kids, he can paint Carlitos' room, but didn't moan about it. (That would never happen with Mark, he would
witch and whine.) Nads thinks that is outrageous of her to do. Sally says she just nags her husband. Charming. A psychologist at GMB once told Lisa that you suggest, don't tell your spouse what to do. Nads says that is like a toddler. (Call me sexist, but yes you have to do that with most men duh.) Lisa says it bloody works. Faith Goodman has a kind husband. Lucky her.
Lisa has a Boris story, but can't tell it. Nads asks if it is the Jennifer one? Yes it is.
Oh come on! 
Nads says maybe for the vlog. Lisa say not because she doesn't want to be in the Sun tomorrow. Nads advice on relationships that she says to everyone, the most important thing to look for is kindness. Hmmm. Lisa tells us a story of when she broke her ankle and her husband dragged her up the stairs willing her on. That is when she said to herself "aww, he's a good lad." (Mark would probably film Nads trying to get up the stairs on her own and put it on the vlog.)
Next topic is teenagers and there eyes follow one passing into the kitchen. Plug for Confessions. Nads describing how teens withdrawing from parents, like a crush and someone goes off you. Lisa says it like that time when you go to the playground with them and they let go of your hand, but the boys then adjusted their bags so as not to hurt her feelings. "Oh you let go of my hand."
Carlitos was all over Lisa having to pry him off for school, whereas Eddie was see ya!
Somone asks them how to get their kid out of their bedroom.
(Cut the power to the room.
) Eddie makes a cameo appearance. Nads says he looks straight out of central casting. Nads says both Eddie and Maddie were both on their phones and didn't acknowledge each other.
Kids! Brenda says they greet with an eyebrow lift. Sound cuts out and now they are out of sync. Nads says you have to have respect for their room. (So the scribblings are parent sanctioned, gotcha!
)
Lisa's hair is doing the Cameron Diaz jizz special today.
Nads, as advised by a child psychologist, says to not push teens just make them aware you are available and not invading their room. Suggests watch Fast and Furious even if you don't want to. (Yeah that is not happening.) Someone in chat puts a wet sponge to their kid's face to get them out of bed.
LInes of communication, not getting pissed off blah, blah. "I don't want my kids when they get in trouble, going to someone else for information."
Or selling you out to the tabloids? (Have they had the chat about spliffs on the Instagram yet?)
Coming out of Lockdown. Lisa "Oh so amazing." Nads says a lot of people have PPSTD.
She's thinking about that one. "Post Pandemic Stress Disorder."
Where is the T? "Did you get that right?" "Yeah I said STD." Anyway, Nads says she has it a little bit, kinda like when you are a little bit pregnant right?
Jesus Lord above! Nads talks about the job they did and everybody doing the showbiz kiss and her being taken aback by it. Glitch in the transmission and it skips. Lisa says she was told off recently at ITV. It was for cuddling Lance.
She hadn't seen him in ages, he burst into tears then she burst into tears and the next thing there were cuddles and the cuddles led to a reprimand. Lisa says they didn't know that he had lost someone during lockdown and she is a terrible for hugging. (I'm not a hugger, you got your warning.) "I find it hard not to hug somebody who is crying, sod that! I'm just going to hug you no matter what." Nads says she is pushing through, she is going to have her second vaccine (June 4th I believe, it may change though.) Lisa has had her's. Lisa says when there is suddenly a crowd and she feels overwhelmed, she just removes herself. They are still in lockdown in Glasgow. (We are still in lockdown until June 2nd and that might change.
) Nads is on her soapbox about everyone having their own time, no pressure, we need dialogue blah,blah. Lisa doesn't want to go abroad, they go to the States at least once a year. (What is this fascination with the States with a segment of British people? It aint all that. Maybe sharing a border with those yahoos makes me jaded.
) Nads wants to go to the Greek Islands. Lisa is looking forward to Brighton and a spa. Happy birthday Mandy and her sister! "God you can sing" Lisa says.
What would be your #1 tip for making friends Lisa? (She is obsessed with this isn't she? How to Try to Make Friends and Alienate People by Nadia Sawalha.) Nads says to be interested with people, she is fascinated by them. (Some are, most are annoying, selfish, dickheads that think the world revolves around them.) "Ask anyone who has met me, I will have asked them a million questions." (I am imagining her chasing people around the room, following them to their taxis to get every bit of info on them. What an annoying _____
) Lisa says she would have been bored. Lisa tells her she is really good at listening. "Really? Do you think? That's such a good compliment." Lisa says even if they are boring her shitless she will continue to listen. Nads says you have to be careful, that if someone is not asking about you it can "trip into something." What that something is, we may never know. Nads can't understand people just asking one question and not expanding on it. Some are nervous, some forget their interest. (No those people are self-centred asswipes.) Lisa said she felt bad when she dragged Nads away from someone she thought was boring her. Lisa says she is always rescuing people.
Apparently both Lisa and Nads make people like them, even if they hate them. Okay. Talks about the make-up world being catty and she heard someone didn't like her. They break into song singing "I'm gonna make you love me." Nads gets the words wrong as per. Lisa says she is mortified if she has upset someone. Nads understands when people don't like her. (Are you writing this down kids?) Lisa is all about killing them with kindness. Get this, there is someone in a certain group that Nads doesn't like. She said to someone else that she is going to tell them that and the other person was what? This person has talked smack about her and is trying to be her friend "proper fake."
Who could that be? Nads doesn't care if she has upset someone she doesn't like, if she deems them a horrible person "I just enjoy it and you will see the South London girl come out of me." (Is she going to take her hoops out before she starts to scrap?) Lisa says if someone crosses her, she never gives second chances. "Is that really bad?" Nads says if she was on a job and someone was lovely to her, but not to crew, she is done with them. Nads is cautiously spilling beans about a very famous actor she did a film with, at the end of filming he would order all these drinks and he would NEVER, tip in for the bill "and he was like a STAR." Lisa says a lot of celebs do that. Lisa says there is a certain celeb who said to her
and we won't know because Nads sidetracked Lisa. Thanks a bunch witch.
So they have to go and Lisa says it has been nice. Nads thanks their #1 fan Ashley for updating her on Xander. IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME TO THE CHANNEL HIT THE SUBSCRIBE AND NOTIFICATION BELL. Lisa says she isn't as good as Mark. Stop putting yourself down, the bee would have been a good replacement for Mark, now that I think of it. They off to Brighton so BYEEEE! Laters!
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