Mumsnet #83 Transulitionnjnv

[FeloniousMonk]

More envy View attachment 3955551

Hands up all the teachers who are doing it as a hobby or for pocket money! ...Anyone?

 

[Serene Serena]

I don't know why mumsnetters hate us, if they hung out here more they wouldn't be able to eat anything because of all your gross posts and they'd be teeny tinier than ever

They only hate us because they can’t join us.

Apart from Noddy. She really really really hates us.

 

[cat_follower]

May I offer some vintage mumsnet for the table? What a faux pas to admit that you’d forgotten such obvious information! Everyone knows that state schools only teach competitive asbo dodging, teenage-mum pram races and the 100m shoplift

 

[girlinbrum]

Please please can we have SHINNY WOMEN'S EARRINGS as next thread title, it always makes my day.

 

[Liverbird2003]

Was it a penis colada?

"If you like penis coladas, and getting caught in the rain"

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

View attachment 3955321

This made me chuckle!!

Coroner here. I just wrap my children in hemp bubble wrap and only allow them to eat home grown produce, while homeschooling them.
I would hate to have to explain to one of my colleagues that Quincy M.E junior choked on a fish finger, while running county lines and failing their 11+

 

[squacksquack]

Isn’t that Zoe balls son’s name?

Surely his name isn’t “Woody Balls”. That’s child abuse.

 

[50degreesnorth]

The vet surgery my dog attends is flexible, very clean, the receptionists always offer treats, the vet always offers treats and they’re all just so lovely and kind. The only downside is the thermometer situation and the fact the scales are in the waiting room. I’m not sure I’d want to weigh myself publicly and announce it.

OTOH, how often is there an opportunity to be called a “pretty girl” and be given a biscuit?

 

[MeatyCushans]

View attachment 3958801

Who are these people they are married to? Having teenage arguments with their partners, mad.

Christ, maybe if she read that story to her 9 month old she'd be out like a light, what a dullard

 

[ohnomyhat]

It's better than the twat of a poster who wants to call her son Woody. Only slightly better than the person who has named her son Woodward.

I swear I'm not making this up/ currently drunk.

I know someone IRL whose son is named Woody. Most of us went "Oh like the cowboy," whereas I instantly thought of erections.

 

[Iamthebosun]

This is either one of you lot or the aunt from that other thread

 

[Samf2020]

You know those charts where it says if yes you follow the arrow etc am sure someone will know the correct name.
With MN its does this thread have anything to do with me? No, answer anyway.
Is your respinse helpful, no answer anyway.
Is your response hurtful, mean and downright cunty? Answer and make sure to mention your mythical salary and weight just for good measure, doesnt matter if its about post boxes, those are always required.

 

[SwiftieNewRomantics]

Aren’t most of these what mumsnet posters do all the time

 

[Iamthebosun]

Helllllllo Aluna, lovely Mumsnetter who has posted that we're Fucked Up Trolls.

In fairness theres much more posts supporting us and Im wondering if it's full of Tattlers in disguise or there ARE some that aren't completely batshit in that latest Tattle thread

I don't think some of them know what trolls are... Here's a hint for Aluna - Trolls are the ones on mumsnet trying to get stories of you shitting yourself or your child needing a bra fitting to wank over or starting random threads that turn into talk of water bison by the third post.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

If any of you want to feel severely depressed, have a read of Do you have a "treat" everyday and if so what is it?
A cup of tea or a piece of fruit is not a treat ffs

At least these two came along and spoke some sense

 

[HelenDamnation]

Paris DOES stink of piss, especially in warm weather. It must be the piss troll's dream holiday destination.

 

[MoistPlinth]

View attachment 3953847
View attachment 3953849

how lovely. I hope your child never reads this.

Wow. Talk about overthinking the future! I never really thought past the cute baby stage when I was planning my kids. I'm now shocked and appalled that they're all grown up despite me forbidding it, and demanding they stay small and cute forever.

I have all boys, and don't feel I've missed out by not having a daughter. It's all about stupid stereotypes anyway. What if her daughter was a complete tomboy who wanted to join her dad in his secret hobby (think golf or cycling) and didn't want to have the lovely dovey mother daughter relationship she craves.

Two of my boys are living with partners now, and both are planning on moving far away. For cheaper housing, rather than getting away from me. I think.

I'm just glad I've given them the tools to be independent, and to hopefully not be useless husbands like the MN lot seem to have.

 

[Harlot O'Scara]

fat slags

You rang?

 

[Geetbo]

I wonder if I could try a reverse of the Gay Husband troll. Say I'm a gay man with a husband and have discovered my husband is STRAIGHT!!

I could do this one.

Found my husband watching football and looking at fannies, is he straight!?

 

[Cheddar Chalpupa]

View attachment 3962482View attachment 3962483

Poo troll on the loose (sorry)

He may as well just say "would anyone be kind enough to talk about shit for a bit so I can have a wank"