Mumsnet #83 Transulitionnjnv

[MediumLoad]

FUCK OFF! YOU CUNT! is definitely my new favourite.

I know!

Can't wait to use it at work when my manager asks me to do something.

 

[Harlot O'Scara]

How long before some teeny tiny makes a post complaining that they met a fatty who was so ginormous (size 16) that they had their own gravitational field and because OP is soooooo teeny tiny got sucked in and now they're posting from orbit?

 

[Serene Serena]

I attended a clinic after surgery and you were brought to a side corridor and weighed. One nurse was shouting it to the other to put in chart. My turn came and I told her that she better not scream it across the corridor and embarrass me like she had everyone else. I may have given her a Paddington Bear hard stare too. She seemed surprised people didnt like their weight screamed around a hospital.

I had to see a neurologist recently (health issues that aren’t relevant to this thread) and the health care assistant weighed me and told the consultant the results. DH said what’s that in old money? I swiftly told him 9 stone 1lb.

 

[Serene Serena]

Personally I have 62 million quid in savings and 61 million of that is earmarked for stalking Benson Boone. You fat povvos are just sad. I bet you all claim benefits you’re not entitled too and live in luxury social housing as well.

 

[HelenaHandbasket]

MrBasket not only likes musical theatre but he used to perform in it as well.

Then he moved into the even more dull world of a capella. Thank phuck I didn't know him back then - I think I would have had instant ick!

 

[Apocaleksa]

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Sounds like a romance scammer.

Tell him to fuck off you bitch.

 

[rainbowhouse]

My prayers are with the poor mumsnetter who inadvertently fed her child A WHOLE WRAP EACH. They have 450 calories in each one.

 

[HelenaHandbasket]

Can you develop fatty liver that quickly??

Not really - it's a metabolic disfunction, usually caused by excessive alcohol (AFLD) or for Non-alcoholic fatty liver is related to obesity, high blood pressure, insulin resistance etc. You're not going to develop it after three weeks of eating chips.
Would be interesting to know her before and after levels, but that would ruin her story.

 

[MeatyCushans]

Todays competitive thread theme:

My DC have all been perfectly competent grape eaters by seven.

Quoting myself but forgot this gem from earlier in the same thread -
Grapes are lovely but they are also dangerous.

 

[Serene Serena]

Look who’s back. “I’m going to post about my deadbeat son but you’d better not be rude about my deadbeat son otherwise I’ll tell you to fuck off” has to be one of the weirder Mumsnet trolls but fair play to them they are consistent
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I love her,, she's my favourite troll.
Disagree with me? Fuck off you bitch.

 

[SwiftieNewRomantics]

King Charles is of course an avid mumsnet reader

 

[Harlot O'Scara]

The main issue seems to be how she is pronouncing Desiree, who knew there were so many different ways, but the way they spell the pronouncinations out all look and sound the same to me . I'm surprised they all seem to love the name though, thought it would have on a definite chavvy American name list

Dèsirèe is French, so right up Mumsnet's alley.

It's an older name than people think - Sweden had a Queen Desiree in the 18th century!

It's a bit like the Tiffany problem - the name Tiffany goes back to the middle ages but writers can't get away with using it in historical fiction because it seems too modern.

Yes, I am a boring bastard, thanks for asking

 

[MeatyCushans]

Me again, just popping this here. All of MN's DHs finally got their life stories dramatised

 

[SwiftieNewRomantics]

I'm settling in for this one
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[Serene Serena]

Someone has posted saying Paris stinks of piss. Feathers are ruffled.

Paris Hilton or Paris Fury?
Oh shit, I thought I was on Celeb gossip

 

[CrimsonCountess]

I get everyone loses their shit sometimes and it must be so hard being a single parent, but screaming at your 4 year old repeatedly that you hate him seems so cruel. Of course they are all telling OP it's fine and they've all done the same and that the child probably deserved it. Yet if it was a dad they would all be saying he's abusive and the child isn't safe

 

[50degreesnorth]

It’s been more than 30 years, but left to my own thoughts I can still feel the 2lb of meat dolloped on to my hand* on ladies night.

Yes, I was that young and innocent soul who proffered my hand when asked - only to have a cock named “Jeremy” placed in it.

 

[MeatyCushans]

McCall is a mumsnetter pass it on

 

[Sam5262]

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Genuine derangement

Do these MN idiots even know where the vet sticks the thermometer

 

[Iamthebosun]

I don't know why mumsnetters hate us, if they hung out here more they wouldn't be able to eat anything because of all your gross posts and they'd be teeny tinier than ever