Iamthebosun
VIP Member
Imagine being the kind of person who begrudges a child being able to have a day out at a museum.
- Notice
Geetbo
VIP Member
The plot twist will be that while there was no oral, he did get bummed into next week while she was at home watching Emmerdale."Making plans to meet up (for oral)" has absolutely sent me
"Hey Mr. Gay MN Husband, fancy meeting for a bit of oral?"
MeatyCushans
VIP Member
Todays competitive thread theme:
My DC have all been perfectly competent grape eaters by seven.
My DC have all been perfectly competent grape eaters by seven.
Fartycat
Chatty Member
Was it a penis colada?I went to a "Ladies Night" type thing once, and the stripper put his cock in my pina colada. I hadn't even taken a sip, I was very cross. He got a proper *Paddington* stare. (In his eyes, not at his pineapple and coconut-covered cock)
HotDawg
VIP Member
Ooh let me predict some replies
1. What is “sleep”?
2. You’re so insensitive, my nephew’s ex best friend’s dog walker’s aunt’s hairdresser’s daughter went to school with someone who is DEAD and now can’t ever wake up.
3. Wine is full of sugar and alcohol, you are a diabetic alcoholic ratbag who is solely responsible for all the problems with DNHS.
4. I am so teeny tiny that a sip of coffee is enough to fill me up for weeks on end.
5. Kindly, OP, you sound lazy. No is a complete sentence and are you on glue? <tinkly laugh >
6. I asked my DH and he agrees with you.
7. I don’t wake up in the morning as I work night shifts. I cannot relate to this at all.
8. I hope you don’t mind me saying but you sound abnormally exhausted with disturbed sleep patterns, it’s either peri or dementia but possibly both.
9. Omg waking up before your alarm is a sign of sepsis. A&E! Now!
10. Are you on Mounjaro? This started happening to me when I was on the weight loss jabs. Then, my hair started to fall out and one ear turned completely purple with white stripes. Then, my eyeballs rolled out of my eye sockets and the dog grabbed them! Can’t see a thing now, my hubby is typing for me. Also, my hands turned into broccoli so i couldn’t type even if I could see. Rover the dog is somewhere in the garden with my evil bitch MIL playing fetch with my eyeballs. Weight loss injections are really dangerous. Just eat less and move more. Calories in vs calories out.
LilyPond
Chatty Member
It's well known that men often say "Clock the dewy skin on that very attractive lady over there." It's a very definite thing...I can safely say I have never once had a man notice or comment on my nails or whether my skin is dewy. In fact I had my nails done yesterday and went for something completely different to what I normally do. I showed Mr CC when I got home and he said "isn't that what you usually get"
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Iamthebosun
VIP Member
Surely not! There would have to be doctors at every airport to treat all the fattys coming back from their all inclusive holidays (coughGEETBOcough) if you can get seriously ill from eating chips for a few weeks
Iamthebosun
VIP Member
Ideas for a wedding dress for a 70 year old bride...
Attachments
MediumLoad
VIP Member
klarakluckbag
VIP Member
I went to a "Ladies Night" type thing once, and the stripper put his cock in my pina colada. I hadn't even taken a sip, I was very cross. He got a proper *Paddington* stare. (In his eyes, not at his pineapple and coconut-covered cock)
CrimsonCountess
VIP Member
I’d be having to change them every half an hour if I imposed this rule on my husband
Serene Serena
VIP Member
I went to a strip show once with the toddler group mums, it was billed as 'Ladies Night' and featured this scrawny little fella with an enormous willy. He pranced around, ripped his velcro sided trousers off, sprayed his dick with squirty cream and invited us ladies to taste it. I found it the most unsexy experience in my life, but a lot of the women there were shrieking and squealing and pushing each other out of the way to get to him. I came over all Mumsnet and retired to the bar for a pint.
It was shortly after lockdown ended and I think people went a bit mental.
HelenaHandbasket
VIP Member
FFS these bloody performative petites really get on my tits.
I just turned down a role in an ED clinic as I couldn't face all the potential mumsnetters I may meet and have to actually be nice to.
CrimsonCountess
VIP Member
This is going to out me to all of you and now you'll all know who I am, but when I was about 24 my mother in law was going to a charity ladies night with her friends, which was advertised as being a bit of a magic mike sexy dancing type thing. She invited me so I went along. Magic Mike it was not, they were completely naked and swinging their dicks around, thrusting it in our faces and getting some of the audience to squirt whipped cream on them. They also got some of them up on stage and I'm pretty sure almost got some of them pregnant. I genuinely had no idea that these kind of things existed, and I think a lot of the women there didn't either. Bear in mind that this was in a small village where the average population is about 95 years old
Certainly not something I expected to experience with my mother in law
Certainly not something I expected to experience with my mother in law
CrimsonCountess
VIP Member
My quote of the day
she ballooned when in a relationship to a size 14
she ballooned when in a relationship to a size 14
CrimsonCountess
VIP Member
Great thread title potential right there
Itchy of Itchington
VIP Member
About a million years ago I did jury service. The specifics were fairly boring as it was to do with tax fraud. But the accused!! His defence was basically he was really nervous and shy and would never do a thing like that because he was so nervous and introverted. Which rather fell apart when the prosecution asked about his previous job as one of the Dreamboys. Not sure how shy you can be if you're getting your cock out on stage. He was hugely muscle, the type of man who likes to wear his veins on the outside of his body. He had tried to dress up for court bit his neck was so massive he had to cut his top and jumper so that he could get it on.
girlinbrum
VIP Member
Guys!!!!!!!! I made a roast chicken today am so excited cos I won't now have to cook for two weeks, we'll be eating that chicken for every meal whooop!
Bollykecks
Well-known member
This made me chuckle!!