Mumsnet #83 Transulitionnjnv

[Geetbo]

I'm not even going to lower myself to make a sex joke.

Phuck off.

 

[Iamthebosun]

I was just reading that thread and it really just reminds me how fucking horrible they all are

I don't know how to become a hairdresser so I could be wrong but I thought hairdressers were quite highly educated. Isn't it about 2 years to become qualified plus other courses to go higher up or learn certain things to specialise it? They use chemicals, mix chemicals, need to know about skin conditions and allergies, the actual cuts, what equipment to use etc customer service skills, quite a lot of hairdressers are self-employed and that's a whole other load of skills they need. So I always assumed hairdressers were intelligent, they're certainly intelligent in a way I'm not because I wouldn't know where to start doing someone's hair unless I specialised in making people bald.

 

[Serene Serena]

The pregnant woman talking to her boyfriend on a dating app has been busted because the dating app she claims to be using, doesn’t allow messaging other than to arrange a date. Oops!

 

[WhyYouCry?]

If any of you want to feel severely depressed, have a read of Do you have a "treat" everyday and if so what is it?
A cup of tea or a piece of fruit is not a treat ffs
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At least these two came along and spoke some sense
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I can’t imagine how miserable my life would have to be to consider ‘a thermos of coffee’ a treat.

 

[girlinbrum]

Charles would love it on mumsnet, he has fat sausage fingers like them all.

 

[qqwertyy]

Whoooa, look at the dewy skin on that

Get yer manicure out, love

 

[MeatyCushans]

Rowena is a mumsnetter pass it on

 

[Serene Serena]

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Call me cynical (because I am) but nothing about this rings true.

10yr old boy accidentally sees his dad's text messages arranging bookings with sex workers on a shared family ipad linked to the cloud.
Son then uses his own non-smart phone to somehow look up escorts and send them texts asking for bookings.
Mum is more concerned about arranging therapy for said 10yr old than kicking her husband into touch.

That’s the underage sex troll. He is prevalent on parenting websites and is getting smart about not being identified immediately

 

[Harlot O'Scara]

Mumsnet Summary:

 

[CrimsonCountess]

You're all fat idiots and got it wrong. It was someones neighbour going on to OPs drive to trim their hedge and accidentally stood on their tulips

 

[CrimsonCountess]

Of course this definitely happened

 

[Geetbo]

I always cut peas in half due to the choking risk x

 

[girlinbrum]

Do you all remember the blonde lady with the dirty mirror and sad looking dogs? She used to post her daily outfits. Is she still doing this? I miss her and the charity shop lady with the husband in the corner with his mohican and dirty bed sheets. Heck I even miss ShitHole :/

 

[Iamthebosun]

I always cut peas in half due to the choking risk x

I'm not even going to lower myself to make a sex joke.

 

[flyingflustercats]

True. When I was married to a soldier, we moved around regularly so I wanted a job I could do anywhere - I trained as a hairdresser and you do need a good level of education, maths; you're mixing chemicals on a daily basis etc. I once got told 'you're wasting your education' by another officers wife and I, smart Alec that I am, smugly turned to her and said 'I'm assuming you can explain a polypeptide chain to me, then?'.

Fuckers.

What kicks do people get from being such utter witches? Moons ago, when a small % of the population went to university, my friend, a bilingual graduate, married to an army officer, was working as a PA. Some utterly vile woman asked if she had no aspirations of her own. When we were all in the canteen, 8 or so of us. I was shocked, we all were. No MN witty retorts. Much like the other day when at lunch with my sil. Her words, and I shit you not, 'I wish I was more like you and didn't care how big I was or how I looked'. Thanks love!

 

[girlinbrum]

I wonder if I could try a reverse of the Gay Husband troll. Say I'm a gay man with a husband and have discovered my husband is STRAIGHT!!

 

[DoubleEntendre]

To be fair naming babies is bloody hard. MrBasket and I have very different taste in names - he likes plain and a bit retro, whereas I like quite MN style names. Our daughter has a name, but it took us the whole six weeks to reach a consensus, and as a result she's just called Bob by everyone instead.

Bob quite suits her though, and my boys have changed the words to Chuggington to 'Bobbington' which she quite enjoys them singing to her.

I really, really hope that when you say 'Bob' you do an impersonation of Rowan Atkinson saying it in Blackadder.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

We've got a picture of someone who is 8.5 stone and 5ft3 and she's asking what people think of her body and what they think she weighs. Here are some of the things mumsnetters have had to say

I'm sorry but I think you look a bit scrawny and not toned, sorry

Skinny-fat

Toned for a woman in her early 60s but if younger, then could definitely benefit from some more toning.

About 10/11 stone

I wouldn't say you look athletic - I think your thighs look a bit too hollow to suggest any habitual activity. I'd also say you're slightly overweight, but have probably lost some recently

It means someone with a normal BMI but a bit of chub and in need of some toning. Its actually a good description of the OP

 

[Serene Serena]

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This has been done before as well. Didn’t the last one end with her stomping home in a huff to get her ducks in a row?

When I was on holiday I took a surreptitious photo of a portly gentleman in a leopard print thong and posted it in the family WhatsApp group, saying I had fallen in love and was going to stay in Gran Can forever

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

AIBU to realise in my 50s that investment banking is a more lucrative career than teaching?