Mumsnet #83 Transulitionnjnv

[Iamthebosun]

It's better than the twat of a poster who wants to call her son Woody. Only slightly better than the person who has named her son Woodward.

I swear I'm not making this up/ currently drunk.

Love that thread!

Everyone is saying it's slag for an erection and someone replied 'well I've got a woody and I've never heard that' I've got a woody

 

[CrimsonCountess]

Well you lot, I hope you're happy with yourselves because look at what you voted for the next thread title nominated by @Harlot O'Scara

Carry on purverts x

 

[Goosegamer]

Ok, who posted this on the 'What shoes and tights to go with this Toast dress" thread?

 

[Harlot O'Scara]

AIBU the doctor stuck his entire arm up my arse. I only went in with a cold.

Bet that cleared your sinuses, though.

 

[Freda Fandango]

It's kind of sad, if not suprising, that so many of them admit to having no friends.

Its hard to start up a conversation from behind the sofa though.

 

[SwiftieNewRomantics]

how lovely. I hope your child never reads this.

 

[Harlot O'Scara]

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Knock the hat off his head! Stronger words were never spoken.

Knock the hat off his head! Slow down Jason Statham

 

[Harlot O'Scara]

I went to a strip show once with the toddler group mums, it was billed as 'Ladies Night' and featured this scrawny little fella with an enormous willy. He pranced around, ripped his velcro sided trousers off, sprayed his dick with squirty cream and invited us ladies to taste it. I found it the most unsexy experience in my life, but a lot of the women there were shrieking and squealing and pushing each other out of the way to get to him. I came over all Mumsnet and retired to the bar for a pint. It was shortly after lockdown ended and I think people went a bit mental.

I'm evil so I'd be loudly reminiscing about the evening whenever I saw one of the mums I didn't like

"Hey Sandra, remember when you nearly broke your neck to suck whipped cream off an ugly stripper's knob?"

(No Mumsnetter would ever drink a pint! They're so teeny tiny they'd fall in and drown.)

 

[ChampagneBox]

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how lovely. I hope your child never reads this.

her future sons wife not liking her is already justified and he’s not even a full fetus, that is quite the achievement OP

 

[Serene Serena]

Everyone spare a thought for this poor poster who can't manage on nearly £200k
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What on earth do these stupid fuckers spend their money on? Imagine earning £200k and still not being able to make ends meet?

 

[LilyPond]

I went to a "Ladies Night" type thing once, and the stripper put his cock in my pina colada. I hadn't even taken a sip, I was very cross. He got a proper *Paddington* stare. (In his eyes, not at his pineapple and coconut-covered cock)

So that's why they're called cocktails...

 

[Serene Serena]

My Nan thinks I fancy an Irish lad called Brendan Boon and she’s been scouring the internet for his music because it’s my birthday soon.

 

[jiggy_girl]

Is this potentially the most Mumsnet answer ever?

OP asks an innocuous, if not slightly neurotic, question. Totally innocent.

Answer one: No. My mum is dying.

Answer two: unbelievably unhelpful.

What do these women smoke?

 

[Iamthebosun]

 

[FeloniousMonk]

Back in the 80s I was invited to someone's birthday party at her house, there were only about 6 or 7 of us. It was her 16th birthday. Her mum had hired a male stripper

It was a different time, but that was going some.

Stripper came in, kind of started his routine, then looked at us and did a bit of a double take before asking how old we all were (all either 15 or 16.) He did a very clearly improvised and toned down dance routine, presented the birthday girl with a plastic rose (possibly the full routine would have had him pulling it out of his boxers), dressed and left the room. I hope the poor bloke got paid and I hope he gave the mother (who was hiding in the kitchen) a piece of his mind.

 

[WhyYouCry?]

I have absolutely no idea how much fibre I'm supposed to eat, how to work it out, why I should eat it or how much I eat on average. I'll leave a note for the DCoroner.

You won’t be sorry flippant when you have ‘not in the top 4% of fibre eaters’ listed as your primary cause of death on your death certificate.

 

[Iamthebosun]

They would only be happy if the workhouse was brought back and poor people were forced to hand over their kids and do slave labour.

Who the fuck cares if attractions use fees to subsidise others?

I'm happy to know that when I pay to go somewhere some of that money is used to enable other people to go, these things should be available to everyone for so many reasons but a huge one is how will children see what they can be when they're older if they never see it. How can a child fall in love with some random specific thing in a museum and develop a passion for it and realise they can work there/teach it/write about it/whatever.

All children should be able to see and learn about animals, history, science, art etc they should all get the opportunity to create those memories and be able to say when they were a kid they went to X place and saw/did X thing. Why because their parents can't afford it should they go without, whether it's because their parents buy too many vapes and Greggs sausage rolls () or because they have a 'genuine' () disability.

 

[Geetbo]

If we end up with a Colleen Nolan troll I might cry.

 

[Iamthebosun]

 

[Geetbo]

There's a thread about Su Pollard, and several of them are saying she is their style icon.

So much has been explained by this.