Mumsnet #39 Chatbot or fatbot?

[50degreesnorth]

I wash dishes furiously to songs like that.

I peel tatties to Janis Joplin because I feel she would’ve understood the hardship of such an act.

 

[ZanzibarDreaming]

The really frightening thing is that the fuckwits on Mumsnet get to vote

 

[Serene Serena]

If there’s going to be a nuclear war, I’m staying on my Tui all inclusive holiday and will die fat and happy. Hasta la vista.

 

[daisybrown]

That dog would have fit in nicely at mumsnet, those losers love transphobia!

Here’s someone who wins the award for cuntiest reason to keep books you’ve read

View attachment 2968123

Not sure hanging on to my Marian Keyes and Jilly Cooper will show that I am a thinking!

 

[Girl#7]

Time for Justine to rebrand as MumsNutters, I think.

I've been around a fair few fora. None has ever attracted as many freakoids as MN does.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

I think she might be the one that the warning message was posted about? Saying not to give out codes because some people play a long game or something along those lines

 

[Sglodion]

Why is AIBU so doom and gloom the last couple of days? Lots of veiled references to some kind of terrifying event that means we all have to stockpile food and water for some reason. Rishi is trying to wind us all up isn’t he, maybe Akshata is a MNer.

It's just their usual bimonthly panic that They know there's going to be a nuclear strike in three months' time and for some reason have chosen to communicate this to the public through cryptic messages about buying extra baked beans. They flare up at regular intervals and as far as I can tell the timing never seems to correlate with anything that's actually happening in the world. I think it's just what happens when you have a site full of people who avoid reading any legitimate news sources 'for their mental health' and then believe everything they see on Facebook.

 

[girlinbrum]

Us Tattlers on holiday

 

[Miss Begotten]

Now the kids are in on the ‘shaking and crying’ after seeing a missionary position dry hump

Once a year?? ONCE?? And only on a specific date?
I realise I’m slightly missing the point of the thread, but again, ONCE A YEAR?

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

I still maintain the best Adrian Mole poem was The Tap.

The tap drips and keeps me awake
in the morning there will be a lake
for the want of a washer the carpet will spoil
then for another my father will toil
dad could snuff it whilst he is as work
dad fit a washer, don’t be a berk.

Adrian Mole was so wonderful. I was a bit odd as a teen for want of a better phrase and Adrian Mole made me feel like my overthinking and quirky interpretations were completely normal.

 

[Miss Begotten]

I live in a council house and as all the MC know, we tend to just shit where we sit so as not to miss a single episode of Jezzer Kyle on the 108” TV.

And as you live in social housing surely your sofa is already in your front garden, so you don’t even have to take a shit indoors. So much better than a mucky ensuite.

 

[bread-pitt]

Arrived at our hotel in Kuala Lumpur last night. Spotted a restaurant about a block away that proudly advertises that the fudges contain “no lard”. It’s a MNers wet dream.
---
And this is the biggest lie ever told

 

[Cheddar Chalpupa]

That dog would have fit in nicely at mumsnet, those losers love transphobia!

Here’s someone who wins the award for cuntiest reason to keep books you’ve read

View attachment 2968123

What a smug cunt!

Sadly I'm a renter so I have to just hand my Kindle to any visitors to show them all the books I've read before they come in. It's in my grab bag by the front door because I just assume I'll be evicted on any given day so am ready to go.

 

[melonpane]

Not been mumsnetting for a while so not been able to enjoy this thread as much. However, I landed there this morn for a few hours and found this beauty - the OP had asked how often people ate meat.

Absolute mumsnet perfection..

 

[NellieBoo]

View attachment 2959086
View attachment 2959089
Reading this exchange in disbelief.. are these people actually real the low carb lot make the style and beauty thread look half normal.

Bananas and lean chicken THE HORROR

Ah that BIWI is a horrible old cunt. I did the low carb bootcamp many years ago but dropped out. What did I crave the most? Rice? Pasta? Potatoes? Bread? No. FRUIT! Lovely fresh fruit. I remember thinking 'this is no fucking life is it?' Craving fucking FRUIT. So jacked it in and now I'm sized Maccy D but at least I don't have a shit fit over eating a banana.

 

[orangehead]

Hmm. Where does one go after consuming thistles if one is already a size TUI?

Asking for a friend, obvs.

Size council estate.

 

[Duchessofmanchester]

View attachment 2959086
View attachment 2959089
Reading this exchange in disbelief.. are these people actually real the low carb lot make the style and beauty thread look half normal.

Bananas and lean chicken THE HORROR

I'm massively lowering the tone here, but I wonder if you're allowed to give blow jobs during bootcamp?
Surely less calories than a banana.

@ButtonDownTheHutches I also can't believe people are apologising to her for eating food so they don't faint.
I'd be telling her to fuck off.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Honestly. Bloody amateur.
I bet you don’t even know where your ducks are, let alone have them in a row.

That's because we aren't allowed to lure them with bread these days.

 

[ZanzibarDreaming]

View attachment 2954813
Who is this then - own up?!

This one’s got to be someone from here as well. Title of thread is “If Labour get in will Keir Starmer eat my children and my pets?”

 

[Amoo]

Araminta can’t just learn Three Blind Mice on the recorder like the pleb children.

'What is Three Blind Mice? We only sing Frère Jacques in this household.'