Mumsnet #38 imagine spending £100 on a notebook and writing 'bleach arsehole' in it

[Kikini Bamalam]

I’ll also be holding my 6ft 2, 6-figure earning, husband closer (in my very slim arms) tonight #ThoughtsandPrayers

I shall be shaking and crying while holding the DCoroner tonight . I just don't know what I'm going to tell him though

 

[CrimsonCountess]

Anyone else seen MNHQ responses on the vegan/pearls thread? What a load of absolute waffle

 

[philopastry75]

Ooooh there's a thread in Style and Beauty about a Me and Em dress and someone has come along and linked to Batsheva and other Batshita dresses that are NOTHING like the original dress. I mean, WTAF . It's like a handful of posters have a word document with all these rank dresses linked on that they copy and paste into MN when anyone asks about dresses.

 

[BlairWaldorf86]

The seasalt scam thread is still going. It’s absolutely astounding. I’m sorry but that thread is a literal reminder of the fact that 50% of the population are of below average intelligence. It’s like they have no critical thinking skills at all. And yet so many people coming on saying “don’t worry OP, these scams are so realistic, anyone can get caught out. I did!” Errr no. You’re just thick as shit too.

 

[orangehead]

She could just keep eating gluten then she'll damage her gut beyond repair and end up with cancer or needing surgery. That will help her lose weight! If anyone is interested you do usually gain weight as your gut heals due to lost nutrition. As coeliacs we don't absorb certain things properly.

I’m confused why it even matters if she’s gluten intolerant/has coeliac disease and how she would possibly put weight on, there’s no gluten in lettuce or celery and what else could she possibly be eating *head tilt* *tinkly laugh* *twirl to show how petite I am* *glare at any fatties*

 

[daisybrown]

Sorry if already posted but this amused me. It's pure Catherine Tate.

Bloody hell - chai lattes in lunchboxes! “Are you ready to play, Tristan?” “Hang on I need to finish my skinny decaf mocha double espresso latte first - then we can play tag”

 

[50degreesnorth]

But then what do you do about the cookie? A crumb a day until Christmas?

Straight in the food bank. Poor people are fat and like carbs. They can share it with their feral children.

 

[Wolf359]

I’m also a step parent and what I hate most about the step parent board is the total lack of inner reflection the parents are willing to do on why their relationship failed and they had to split in the first place.
Yes sometimes there is abuse or an affair and in those situations, splitting up is the safest or best option.
But when I see ‘you knew what you were getting into’ trotted out time and again on there, I feel like saying yeah? Did you know you were having a child with a man you didn’t love enough to stay with long term then? Because that’s nice for the kids isn’t it?
If you’ve got a problem with the concept of step parents, don’t fucking split up then.

 

[Audaciter]

My husband was SO excited he told everyone as soon as we knew. It was nice to have the support when I lost it a couple of weeks later…

 

[50degreesnorth]

You’d think with all the size walmarts in the US that bra sizes would extend upwards - but I remember going to Lane Bryant (US Evans) and being shocked that the largest size was a DDD or something. If there’s one thing MN does do right, then it’s a bra intervention.

Perhaps if I’d worn a 34F in my yoof instead of a 42C, my knockers wouldn’t currently been knocking on my navel.

*autocarrot said my knickers were knocking on my navel. This is also true. Big pants are where it’s at - that was another stupid thing about yoof - g-strings ffs. These days unless they’re big enough to sail a galleon laden with Spanish gold across the Atlantic, I’m oot.

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

My mum still labours under the misapprehension that pasta is “healthy”. If I’ve told her once, I’ve told her a thousand times…

It's because Sophia Loren advocates for it.

I love pasta and pizza. Why don't I look like Sophia Loren?

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

This has fucking cracked me right up on the child with no manners thread on chat.
I can just see Sid the stabber and Marvin the multiple murderer saying "sorry, I meant to say please, screw teenie tiny"

 

[Miss Begotten]

She said he usually puts everything from the trays apart from alcohol in bags for her and leaves it in the porch. She said he won’t touch the alcohol for religious reasons. When he was 2 hours early he did pick unpack it out of the boxes for her. I think she was insisting his beliefs go out of the window when he’s in a rush but that was just my interpretation. Then he left the porch door blowing in the wind…

That’s down to cultural differences surely. He probably comes from one of those countries who don’t have porches or doors and was temporarily flummoxed by Western technology.

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

Um, I don’t use my Dr at all outside my professional life, apart from a failed attempt to get a higher credit limit on my credit card. It’s embarrassing and I’m also always vaguely worried someone will come and find me when someone collapses. It’s a bit like those people who get some random honour and then start signing off all the emails ‘Joe Bloggs OBE’.

Oh god you just reminded me of some dick I used to deal with at the Department for Education. He would have regional Zoom/Teams calls and after he got an MBE he added it to his screen name, just to remind us.

 

[SarcasmSpecialist]

My daughter's step grandfather died recently, and she was just as distraught as when my father died. SGF and his late wife welcomed my daughter into their family as though she was their own, involved her, and loved her throughout. Very good people. I wrote a note of condolence to her stepmother. Because we are all civilised people, and that's just what you do.

 

[Serene Serena]

It's because Sophia Loren advocates for it.

I love pasta and pizza. Why don't I look like Sophia Loren?

You do, Shoppy. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

[orangehead]

Wish me luck today gang. I’ve decided enough is enough and I’m no longer going to claim UC, I’m just going to get a better paid job. I’m going to submit my application for consultant cardiologist this morning. Finger’s crossed!

I think you mean you’re going NC with DUC.

 

[Sunlifeover50]

I’m just suprised someone’s not commented that she appears to have a drink problem not a delivery driver problem.

 

[orangehead]

View attachment 2942790 Would rather die than be a massive fatty

I don’t understand why she thinks she would gain weight? Surely the only way is if you went round all the supermarkets buying gluten free cakes and chocolate and stuff and ‘testing’ them all to see which are the best

 

[Bread]

I've only recently discovered Mumsnet. It's bizarre that they think Tattle is a little cesspool of spite - several of the posters there are genuinely unhinged. Really vile pieces of work. It's stupidly upsetting!