Mumsnet #37 Wipe down my cucumber and sanitise my Hovis, I need to get my dicks in a row!

[Serene Serena]

Wavy or curly hair, yeah, that does happen.

Yeah but you just run your fingers through it with some coconut oil and it’s sorted. Your hair, you filthy minded animal

 

[orangehead]

Oh bless her, she's trying to get the thread deleted now

Where is the report button please?

I still think it's made up.

Yep! Probably just hoped she could get three threads out of it and introduce another 4 character but she’s slipped up introducing her own affair

 

[Captainmouse]

MN probably costs the NHS millions by encouraging eating disorders, mental health issues and domestic violence.

And ringing 111 unnecessarily

 

[Serene Serena]

Doesn't matter, you get everywhere in your little red and yellow car.

You teeny tiny size 6 wearing Tattle anomaly

 

[Sunlifeover50]

View attachment 2906104

First reply -

View attachment 2906105

whoever would’ve guessed that this thread got a “45 minutes is fine, I used to catch 3 train, a bus, a tram and a plane and still had a 20 minute walk home. No wonder everyone is fat now” response.

no way would I have my 12 year old walking home 45 minutes on her own every night. It’s pissed it down here at 3pm every day since last July. I feel so sorry for some of their kids.

 

[cowtastrophe]

At the great risk of being considered a smug teeny-tiny back in the day, I was 6st12lb when I started work at 16. I was 5'4" tall. I was skinny, always had been and attracted a lot of comments on how skinny I was from being a small child. My entire family is like that though - skinny. We ate healthily, plentifully and together as a family. My mother was a tad coddling and would make us something different from the rest when she knew we did not like, say, pork. None of our friends who were invited to eat with us ever mentioned us having small portions (quite the reverse, really) and would tell others about how great the food was at ours.

People at work, who obviously did not know me, thought I was being starved at home and would question what I'd had for dinner, breakfast etc. whilst commenting on how skinny I was. I didn't think I was skinny, I was just 'me'. I'd wolf as much as my brothers (all older) and doing heavy physical jobs. I'd happily scoff four filled rolls, a couple of biscuits and a can of juice for lunch.

Looking back, people may have thought I was anorexic or such. I wasn't, I was just me.

Fast forward and prior to getting married, I went on the pill <hormones> and my weight 'shot up' to 8st1lb. It hovered around the 8st mark except when under stress (bereavement, divorce, family illness etc.) when I would genuinely forget to eat, never feeling hunger pangs etc. When that happened my weight would fall back as low as 7st without me even noticing, other than clothes were loose and people expressing concern for me.

Apart from times of stress, my weight hovered around 8st for 20 years until different hormones kicked in - peri at 39. On piled a stone or so with zero lifestyle changes on my part.

Further hormones kicked in a few years later - full menopause at 44 - when my body decided from then on to just accumulate every calorie I consumed as fat.

Since then, I've been repeatedly tested for thyroid issues and/or diabetes - always negative.

I believe anyone who says they are just naturally skinny/slim or unable to lose weight no matter how concerted their effort to do so is. I've been both.

Like other posters on this thread, my laugh is of a tinkly nature when those teeny tinies bang on about obesity always being a choice.

Totally with you. I was always slim (think 9st) and tall (think 5’10) but once I got into my 40s the weight piled on no matter what I did. Then menopause hit early and I went the full blimp (think size Tui). I’ve had some success with IF and low carb/high protein but losing the weight is a constant grind and it does get me down. I refuse to starve myself because I think it’s a horribly unhealthy way to lose weight but I do eat healthy food and do a decent amount of exercise.

 

[Duchessofmanchester]

I'm hungry just reading the what have you eaten today threads.

 

[Captainmouse]

So who is going to ask the MN'ers how often they wash their hairbrush/comb?

 

[sistersofpercy]

Have you tried dehydrated air? Youjust add water to it and it's delicious -and excellent for flushing out blades infections.

Dust? Low in fat

 

[ChampagneBox]

Yes I do wonder how so many of them have extremely important, seven figure jobs yet don’t seem to have passed GCSE English.

Maybe they deliberately spell badly to avoid outing said jobs

 

[GBNI]

At the great risk of being considered a smug teeny-tiny back in the day, I was 6st12lb when I started work at 16. I was 5'4" tall. I was skinny, always had been and attracted a lot of comments on how skinny I was from being a small child. My entire family is like that though - skinny. We ate healthily, plentifully and together as a family. My mother was a tad coddling and would make us something different from the rest when she knew we did not like, say, pork. None of our friends who were invited to eat with us ever mentioned us having small portions (quite the reverse, really) and would tell others about how great the food was at ours.

People at work, who obviously did not know me, thought I was being starved at home and would question what I'd had for dinner, breakfast etc. whilst commenting on how skinny I was. I didn't think I was skinny, I was just 'me'. I'd wolf as much as my brothers (all older) and doing heavy physical jobs. I'd happily scoff four filled rolls, a couple of biscuits and a can of juice for lunch.

Looking back, people may have thought I was anorexic or such. I wasn't, I was just me.

Fast forward and prior to getting married, I went on the pill <hormones> and my weight 'shot up' to 8st1lb. It hovered around the 8st mark except when under stress (bereavement, divorce, family illness etc.) when I would genuinely forget to eat, never feeling hunger pangs etc. When that happened my weight would fall back as low as 7st without me even noticing, other than clothes were loose and people expressing concern for me.

Apart from times of stress, my weight hovered around 8st for 20 years until different hormones kicked in - peri at 39. On piled a stone or so with zero lifestyle changes on my part.

Further hormones kicked in a few years later - full menopause at 44 - when my body decided from then on to just accumulate every calorie I consumed as fat.

Since then, I've been repeatedly tested for thyroid issues and/or diabetes - always negative.

I believe anyone who says they are just naturally skinny/slim or unable to lose weight no matter how concerted their effort to do so is. I've been both.

Like other posters on this thread, my laugh is of a tinkly nature when those teeny tinies bang on about obesity always being a choice.

Similar my friend, my weight is starting to creep up and I am finding it hard to deal with.

 

[Codiaeum]

Can’t spare a few hundred to get a local to draw up a plan? She should’ve stayed within her comfort zone (butlins), but no stealth boast opportunity. I heard butlins does boring old vag sex, not even your middle class bumsex variety you’d get at centerparcs.

Bumsex is middle class? I thought it was for the peasants and the middleclass didn’t partake in such things.

 

[Brandshinynew]

We’re going to find a sterile lab, dettol it and ourselves, then DH will put on three pairs of latex gloves, each pair dettoled as they’re put on, he’ll ‘deposit’ into a sterile cup and then we’ll use a sterile implement to impregnate me and I’ll have a water birth but it’ll be 90% dettol and 10% water. Then on its 18th birthday we’ll kick it out on the street, go NC and sterilise our home.

It sounds amazing

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

I do that. It’s how I remain a steady BMI 15 and it honestly tastes just the same.

Have you tried dehydrated air? Youjust add water to it and it's delicious -and excellent for flushing out blades infections.

 

[Tangent Tiger]

Yes I do wonder how so many of them have extremely important, seven figure jobs yet don’t seem to have passed GCSE English.

I'd rather have a 7 figure job than perfect English

Bit baffled by the juice thread, of course people will want to know what this magic elixir is. Cherry juice??

 

[anniemouse]

Ocado used to sell posh noodle pots. Bloody lovely they were as well.
What the fuck is antisocial about eating a Pot Noodle unless you throw it at a Mumsnetter afterwards?

I suppose it wouldn’t be very nice if you did a big Beef & Tomato burp

 

[Serene Serena]

My youngest was born at 15.55 on the Saturday. At 1400 on the Monday she was in the pub! We hadn't even named her yet nor had my parents met her!

She's now nearly 3 and still regularly asks to go to the pub.

She’d get on well with my 4yo son

 

[kendallroysdownfall]

<whispers> I think “peri” is a crock of shite made up by MC women who are just tired of other people’s shit. I’ll reconsider my options when I hear the women in the Forge in Glasgow bemoaning their peri symptoms.

I can absofuckinglutely assure you that peri is fucking real so don't you dare fucking say it isn't.

OMG, sorry. I'm now crying and pulling the covers over my head. I think I'm going MAD....




...is how I would have responded before the magic of HRT patches and pills. Seriously!

 

[Mugglewump]

She'd have to call the dparamedics if she saw some of the food related things I do - I have been known to make an entire cake batter just to sit and eat it raw.

Or my favourite that I call "chip tacos" is to make some of those weird microchips (that are like formed mashed potato) and take a pack of cheese slices (the cheapo burger ones, not real cheese) and wrap cheese around 3 chips at at time with a squirt of ketchup and shove it all into my mouth in one go x repeat until all chips are gone.

I might have that for ddinner, sounds epic.

 

[Geetbo]

I suppose it wouldn’t be very nice if you did a big Beef & Tomato burp

Or made yourself a Bombay Bad Boy sandwich.