Mumsnet #37 Wipe down my cucumber and sanitise my Hovis, I need to get my dicks in a row!

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Ooooh which thread? She’s told me off for something utterly trivial and innocuous before so I’d like to see her get told off for a change!
 
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I do have a caveat with the noodle throwing. I reserve the right to remove the dried chickennotreallychicken from the chicken and mushroom and eat it before you throw. I’ve always picked that out and eaten it dry. Uncouth me.

Also, recent discovery, If you chuck in a good shake of salt they taste like they did back in the day.
 
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So, do we have script yet for the Tattle Infiltration of MN - Summer Extravaganza Edition?

<Working Title: No Sex Pools Please, We're Mumsnetters!!>

I've gone with a bastardisation of a title of well-known British farce for two reasons.

First, as a group they are farcical.

Second, farce is about the extent of their humour i.e. stunted, really.

For clarity, I'm happy to play any role offered but I'd prefer something in the curmudgeonly zone.

Mostly because I'm ancient (think early 60s), technically scraping into the reviled Boomer category, grumpy by nature, and really enjoy harping back i.e. 'in my day, yada, yada, yada ...' which drives them even more insane.
 
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On a thread about what to wear for a trip to Belfast, we have someone who goes to fancy restaurants dressed somewhere between a German student and a plumber. I wonder if when she arrived at said restaurant someone said to her “oh I’m glad you’re here. It’s the gents upstairs. One of them seems to be blocked”.
 

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Plane etiquette thread... OP is pissed off that cabin crew woke her by moving her reclined seat on a night flight when the meal was served (also pissed off that she couldn't stay reclined despite it being mealtime). To be fair, I do agree they should have woken her in a different way to do it, but, in true teeny tiny style...

 
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What sort of planes is she going on? (Sorry, obviously she’s Business Class.) Planes I take give you one small plastic tray of food and you can occasionally blag an extra bit of booze by making friends with the staff.
 
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I was on a BA flight to tacky USA destination (think Las Vegas). Was in cattle class and they just kept throwing food and snacks at us. The woman beside me was German and nearly had a meltdown as she was asleep when they passed out Magnum ice creams. She actually climbed over me to get one. She ate everything and was looking at my tray to see what she could take.
She was a teeny tiny and I was the one with a more robust shape.
 
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She sounds like my kid- she likes to get her money’s worth!
 
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BA trans atlantic fligjts are the best, even in cattle class.

Emirates flights to Dubai and onwards are great too, or they used to be, it has been a while.
 
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Ocado used to sell posh noodle pots. Bloody lovely they were as well.
What the fuck is antisocial about eating a Pot Noodle unless you throw it at a Mumsnetter afterwards?
Probably considered antisocial not to clean and recycle it after throwing it at a DMNetter
 
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Das ist gut.
 
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I’ve flown BA and Virgin to LA a few times, always book premium economy. Virgin was ten times better in my experience.
BA attendants weren’t really interested I found, had to ask four times for a coke over the course of two hours as they’d disappear, only to be found chatting in the galley. In the end I went up and got it myself. They were pretty grumpy too.
Flying home guy in front was reclined and under a blanket (wonder if it was this MNetters DH) and flight attendant wouldn’t ask him to sit up so I struggled with my tray for my meal.

Virgin were the epitome of ‘throw food and drink at you’. A teeny tiny nightmare if you will. They were also jokey and chatty, completely opposite of BA.

Always flown DVirgin since.
 
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In Vietnam they sell packets of dried chickennotreallychicken and it’s delicious. Goes well with a beer of an evening.
 
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I will admit pre internet I used to buy a Saturday paper for the tv supplement. 25p and I caught up with all the soaps in an hour over breakfast in a cafe. Meant I didn’t have to watch the bloody things plus I could join in all the ooh did you see Eastenders office chat.
 
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I just knew the PN thread would keep me entertained looks at this for a reply… big round of applause for this lady


Someone needs to invent a highly nutrious but filling wafer that melts on the tongue, only one required per meal.
Flavours would need to include -
Week old chicken
Massive salad
One small square of really dark chocolate
Middle class aspirations
6 figure salary and
Niche hobby.
 
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I have flown both recently and am conflicted. Virgin I found slightly roomier, but they kept us properly rationed with the food- 10 hour flight and we got lunch after take off at 11am, then nothing till a sandwich an hour before landing.

Their inflight entertainment is crap as well, screens dodgy and selection utter rubbish.

BA food was way better and loads of films and tv. Can’t say I noticed a difference with staff- all seemed pleasant polite. Virgin may have had an edge on the “ooh aren’t we funny with our announcements”

Food wise best I ever had was an internal Lufthansa flight from Aberdeen to London. Smoked salmon and eggs for breakfast. Funniest was Iberia about 35 years ago, Spanish ladies pushing their carts down the aisle throwing a tin foil wrapped sandwich at anyone awake at 2am. That was constant food.
 
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I hear Willy Wonka is working on it.
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Oh...my experience of flying is that they always give you a snack shortly after taking off (I guess to reassure you) and the meal comes about two hours after that. It may mean eating at a funny time if it's a night flight but they can't exactly go 8 hours without feeding passengers, and not everyone's body clock will be on local time. I remember taking a night flight back from Australia and being so hungry!
 
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The first food service usually starts to come out within 30ish minutes of the cabin crew seat belt sign coming off especially on an evening flight. Even if you don’t see a trolley you can smell the food. They want to get people fed asap so they bugger off to sleep/ watch a film so they get left alone by the majority of px. I reckon she knew food was coming out and just thought sod the poor person who was sat behind her.

Had mixed experiences with BA and Virgin don’t think there’s much in it- totally depends what crew you get on the day (they’re usually at they’re jolliest on the outbound when they’ve got a layover somewhere lovely).
 
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Ooooh which thread? She’s told me off for something utterly trivial and innocuous before so I’d like to see her get told off for a change!
I despise that poster, queen of bloody telly, she must do nothing else apart from posting illiterate nonsense and lording it over her tv minions. Absolute twat.
 
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