Mumsnet #3

[Inforapenny]

MN is quite convinced all men are porn-obsessed cheats, and anyone who thinks otherwise is deluded.

Yep, they're all abusing and gaslighting

Yeah the bar is low. MN raving about her husband who can 'deep clean like a professional' is that s euphemism hun?

It's a weird thread. Kinda like a 1950s mother praising her son ....mine is tidy, mine can reverse park, mine listens and then adapts his behaviour.

Desperate to post saying my husband is great because he has a massive c**k and gives the best orgasms

 

[Hollaaa]

Desperate to post saying my husband is great because he has a massive c**k and gives the best orgasms

Now I'm desperate to post saying my friend's husband is great because he has a massive c**k and gives the best orgasms.
That would go over well, I'm sure.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Always finish with “and he’s a very generous lover” (a la Phoebe in Friends) - you can’t go wrong.

 

[Blowup80]

I just read this thread and I have been in hysterics. What a set of Fanny's. I sometimes read MN for a laugh. It's mental. The whole class thing on there is mind boggling!
I am northern, pit village working class. NO uni degree. Full time job. I love Champagne and expensive chocolates but I also drink pints in the local Club and smash kebabs in my face after. So I take it I am a lower class with a touch of upper class?

 

[WeHadFunRight]

I just read this thread and I have been in hysterics. What a set of Fanny's. I sometimes read MN for a laugh. It's mental. The whole class thing on there is mind boggling!
I am northern, pit village working class. NO uni degree. Full time job. I love Champagne and expensive chocolates but I also drink pints in the local Club and smash kebabs in my face after. So I take it I am a lower class with a touch of upper class?

No idea but can we be friends?

 

[Inforapenny]

The threads on the relationship board about women asking whether they should date a guy who is lower class and/or haven't got a degree from a red brick uni.....yet most of those posting on the relationship thread are desperate, delusional or have a useless partner (....as long as he went to university though).

Went down a rabbit hole

 

[EmilyChambers]

LTB
Controlling
Financial abuse
Ducks in a row
MIL
DThis DThat Dfuckingeverything
Call Women's Aid
Do the Freedom Project

I really hate the way they instantly jump to "abuse" if a poster's husband does anything wrong. Like the boy who cried wolf, it devalues the concept, potentially undermining real situations because it's become a MN meme.

There was one a few years ago where a woman had silk pants and left them in a separate basket when they had been worn in their utility room by the washing machine. She asked her husband to put the washing on and he did

When she emptied the machine, her silk pants had been ruined and she was furious.

Not one reply called it an accident, it was how abusive he was, how he purposely ruined her pants to get out of washing, why didn't he check the wash labels for all individual pieces of clothing that went through the machine etc

I mean, this basket of dirty pants was left next to the machine and the basket of dirty washing. They even sneered and said was he stupid to think dirty pants had their own special basket, clearly, they did!!

They absolutely hate men over there, no matter how much they deny it

 

[Blowup80]

The threads on the relationship board about women asking whether they should date a guy who is lower class and/or haven't got a degree from a red brick uni.....yet most of those posting on the relationship thread are desperate, delusional or have a useless partner (....as long as he went to university though).

Went down a rabbit hole

I am FURIOUS someone mentions the choice of dog determines class. Staffordshire Bull Terrier's will have more brain cells and class than mom's on MN!

There was one a few years ago where a woman had silk pants and left them in a separate basket when they had been worn in their utility room by the washing machine. She asked her husband to put the washing on and he did

When she emptied the machine, her silk pants had been ruined and she was furious.

Not one reply called it an accident, it was how abusive he was, how he purposely ruined her pants to get out of washing, why didn't he check the wash labels for all individual pieces of clothing that went through the machine etc

I mean, this basket of dirty pants was left next to the machine and the basket of dirty washing. They even sneered and said was he stupid to think dirty pants had their own special basket, clearly, they did!!

They absolutely hate men over there, no matter how much they deny it

Jesus I'd just be grateful he did some washing!

 

[ATV2021]

The threads on the relationship board about women asking whether they should date a guy who is lower class and/or haven't got a degree from a red brick uni.....yet most of those posting on the relationship thread are desperate, delusional or have a useless partner (....as long as he went to university though).

Went down a rabbit hole

I'm not of a higher class (I'm apparently lower middle class whatever the F that means according to some survey that popped up once ) but.....

Chardonnay is absolute piss. Life is just too short for bad wine!

 

[w8g]

So I’m basically a peasant. Can I still join the conversation over at MN? Please?

 

[EmilyChambers]

Mumsnet Rules for Life (as laid out in various posts)

You do not have to wait to be proposed to, you can propose to him. Furthermore, you absolutely do not need to take his name, you keep your name and all children have your name, you are not a property to give away

Any said children of the marriage are to be asked to leave the family at home at 18 because they are adults. Unless they pay an equal share of the mortgage, bills, food shopping and carry out an equal proportion of household chores. They should also be doing their own washing and cooking as they are adults. If they complain, challenge them to find a better deal out there

Husbands should do 50% of night feeds, 50% of cooking and preparing dinners, lunches and breakfasts and 50% of housework because looking after a baby IS a full time job. Even if they work full time, they still need to do their 50% when they get home and should not expect a dinner prepared for them. At weekends, they also need to do half of everything and you both must have equal alone time, not a minute less or a minute more. A chart is required in order to keep a tally of Husbands free time in order for you to claim back your exact equal free time too.

All husband hobbies are outing and therefore can't be named. Regardless of what it is, they can no longer do that hobby if you don't get equal time to pursue your outing hobby

If you divorce, go for everything. If he divorces you, hide your assets. Keep a secret account where you squirrel away your share of the family money. However if he does this its financial abuse. All money entering the house is family money unless its come from your wage, in which case, squirrel away what you can and get your ducks in a row

If your husband doesnt do any of the above, he is abusive and you've set your bar way too low. Maybe aim for a higher class of husband?

Finally, don't drink, more than a full bottle of wine a month and you need AA. Dont eat anything other than a massive salad, make a chicken last for 10 meals, lock your front door and dont open it to anyone who hasnt booked the arrival two weeks in advance and if you employ a cleaner, they must not ever leave early and you must not pay them if they do (set up cameras to time their arrival) and finally, if you employ any tradesperspn at your home, they absolutely cannot use your toilet.

 

[sixdinnersid83]

And use words like munching, picky bits and jammies. ‘Troughing/scoffing’ if describing a fatty.

 

[Gym&Tonic]

If your ‘DH‘ has an ambiguous ‘hobby’ that he does on the weekend then he is not pulling his weight and ’checking out of family life’. However if ’DH’ shares similar concerns about his wife’s hobby then he is a controlling and abusive twit and you must call Women’s Aid and LTB immediately.

If you are struggling to find affordable childcare and don’t have any family available nearby then you should just magically create a spare bedroom and employ an Au Pair who you can then post endless threads about how they don’t pull their weight etc.

You mustn’t live any closer than 20 miles away from your in laws and they must not phone or attempt to visit you without making an appointment at least a month in advance.

If your ‘DH‘ wishes to shag another a woman then he should end the marriage first rather than embark on an affair , until he actually does in which case he is the scum of the earth.

 

[sixdinnersid83]

Word of the month is trope. If I see trope anymore on there I am going to run screaming across the boards and get banned.

They are horrible about mothers in law on there.

 

[Sunlifeover50]

The place makes no sense to me. I remember a thread ages ago about a mother who was paying the insurance on her 18 year olds car that she’s also bought her (£’000s) and had a tracker fitted on the car as part of the deal. The daughter went wild (sounded a bit suspect to me) and demanded the tracker be taken off- the mother said not while I’m payin the insurance and got absolutely flamed on aibu for “stalking her” and making her life miserable even though mum said she didn’t check it was just a security thing that brought the premium down. Then at the same time there was another post (different OP) my teenage daughter will only eat chicken Caesar salad but it’s costing me an extra £5 a week or something- consensus was daughter was a disgusting spoilt brat for expecting mum to make 2 meals????

 

[cococookie]

Now and again arguments about changing rooms at gyms/leisure centres seem to pop up. I’m not sure if it was mumsnet or Babycentre but a mother was complaining because she saw a naked woman in the female changing room at a leisure centre while she was with her daughter and she didn’t want her daughter seeing a naked person.

If it was some bloke or teenage lad coming into the female changing room then I would understand but I thought it was bizarre as they were all female and if I remember correctly they had just been swimming but the poster seemed REALLY offended and upset by seeing another female nude lol

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

They bloody love it don't they?

Mumsnet Rules for Life (as laid out in various posts)

You do not have to wait to be proposed to, you can propose to him. Furthermore, you absolutely do not need to take his name, you keep your name and all children have your name, you are not a property to give away

Any said children of the marriage are to be asked to leave the family at home at 18 because they are adults. Unless they pay an equal share of the mortgage, bills, food shopping and carry out an equal proportion of household chores. They should also be doing their own washing and cooking as they are adults. If they complain, challenge them to find a better deal out there

Husbands should do 50% of night feeds, 50% of cooking and preparing dinners, lunches and breakfasts and 50% of housework because looking after a baby IS a full time job. Even if they work full time, they still need to do their 50% when they get home and should not expect a dinner prepared for them. At weekends, they also need to do half of everything and you both must have equal alone time, not a minute less or a minute more. A chart is required in order to keep a tally of Husbands free time in order for you to claim back your exact equal free time too.

All husband hobbies are outing and therefore can't be named. Regardless of what it is, they can no longer do that hobby if you don't get equal time to pursue your outing hobby

If you divorce, go for everything. If he divorces you, hide your assets. Keep a secret account where you squirrel away your share of the family money. However if he does this its financial abuse. All money entering the house is family money unless its come from your wage, in which case, squirrel away what you can and get your ducks in a row

If your husband doesnt do any of the above, he is abusive and you've set your bar way too low. Maybe aim for a higher class of husband?

Finally, don't drink, more than a full bottle of wine a month and you need AA. Dont eat anything other than a massive salad, make a chicken last for 10 meals, lock your front door and dont open it to anyone who hasnt booked the arrival two weeks in advance and if you employ a cleaner, they must not ever leave early and you must not pay them if they do (set up cameras to time their arrival) and finally, if you employ any tradesperspn at your home, they absolutely cannot use your toilet.

If your ‘DH‘ has an ambiguous ‘hobby’ that he does on the weekend then he is not pulling his weight and ’checking out of family life’. However if ’DH’ shares similar concerns about his wife’s hobby then he is a controlling and abusive twit and you must call Women’s Aid and LTB immediately.

If you are struggling to find affordable childcare and don’t have any family available nearby then you should just magically create a spare bedroom and employ an Au Pair who you can then post endless threads about how they don’t pull their weight etc.

You mustn’t live any closer than 20 miles away from your in laws and they must not phone or attempt to visit you without making an appointment at least a month in advance.

If your ‘DH‘ wishes to shag another a woman then he should end the marriage first rather than embark on an affair , until he actually does in which case he is the scum of the earth.

Oh my god!!!! Both these posts sum up the fucked up mentality of MN so perfectly

If it wasn't so terrifying, it'd be hilarious. Makes you wonder how many suggestible people's relationships, families or domestic situations have been harmed by the god awful and imbalanced advice on there

 

[CyanideKiss]

I reckon the mumsnet staff users must be reading on here, allowing a sudden quite a few non-man hating threads including one actually asking mumsnetters to (clutches pearls!) praise their husbands!

If I suddenly started showering DH with praise he would think he'd walked into the wrong home.

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

They are horrible about mothers in law on there.

To be fair, we have quite a thread going on on that topic!

 

[mindlessness]

The threads on the relationship board about women asking whether they should date a guy who is lower class and/or haven't got a degree from a red brick uni.....yet most of those posting on the relationship thread are desperate, delusional or have a useless partner (....as long as he went to university though).

Went down a rabbit hole

I’m baffled by the poster who thinks the middle class are people who go to work but don’t need to! Uhhh. i don’t think that means what you think it means.