Mumsnet #28 Six figure job but dress sense heinous, here's a picture of my anus.

[Doll Parts]

I'm a copywriter. My posts on the internet are often riddled with typos and errant commas. When I'm not working, I don't care really care. I'm usually firing off a post on my tiny phone in five seconds flat so mistakes are a natural consequence. Who actually cares?

 

[Livia Fantasy]

I love how the MN answer to any serious situation is “just start a business / move house / change job / divorce him” as if that’s something you can do on a whim.

Absolute world of fantasist twats.

 

[HotDawg]

I am so posh I don’t even ride the horses. The servants exercise them while I watch from inside.

 

[HotDawg]

We’re so posh we just ride the servants around from room to room.

I don’t need to move from room to room. I am so posh that the rooms come to me.

 

[girlinbrum]

I'm sorry but I have two English degrees and a law degree, I've taught university students and still read that and think what pretentious wittering. Learn to write without superfluous words. She sounds like a Stephen Fry version of ChatGPT.

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

My little boy, when he was 11 months old, found his slide hidden in the front room, and was merrily playing on it before I found him. Fortunately because he was a baby, he was excited all over again on Christmas Day.

You left a child unsupervised in another room ?! Mine is 8 has never even been to the toilet without me, you just never know what can happen when you take your eyes off them. We tried to give him some safe independence recently and let him go out into the garden, tethered to the patio doors on a long lead while I stared at him from the living room window, but a neighbour startled him by saying hello over the fence and he’s been set back months because of it.

 

[MediumLoad]

The accidentally sent marzipan into school thread highlights a new level of ignorance.

Who knew marzipan contained nuts?
Nut free is just “belt and braces” unless you consume them nothing will happen if you’re allergic.
The risk is kids share stuff around, so a bigger risk than being on a plane with nuts.
Nut allergies are caused by being nut free
I had a friend who said she had a nut allergy, but ate marzipan with no ill effects.
Did you know you can be allergic to just one type of nut?!
Stollen contains marzipan?
Marzipan contains nuts? Are you sure it isn’t just sugar and artificial flavourings?

Up to 5 pages of this bollocks.

You did better than me.

I opened that thread, read a few posts, and closed it again with an "Oh, who fucking cares?"

Which is pretty much how I treat that site these days.

I much prefer reading it at arm's length via this thread.

 

[OldTT]

They’re so funny when they’re trying to tell you something.

I say to my dog, go tell Daddy that his dinner is ready and she races through to get him then zooms back and forth until he comes through. It’s as if she’s incredulous someone would not be in the kitchen waiting already when there’s food on the go

Your husband makes you cook his dinner? Have you considered the freedom programme?

 

[Anasnake]

Thread on how toxic Tattle is !!!!!! The irony

 

[Moderator]

All, this is to talk about mumsnet. Not to encourage people to troll mumsnet. Let's not do that - literally the antithesis of what tattle is about. Thanks

 

[Serene Serena]

There’s another thread about someone showing themselves up at the staff xmas party, and of course they’re all horrified,. I’ve never been to staff xmas party where someone hasn’t shown themselves up. When I was a teenager I went to one where my colleague knocked a bottle of red wine all over one of the company directors who was wearing a grey suit..my dad went to one where a colleague ended up getting on the wrong bus home and ended up about ten miles away from his house and fell asleep in a field. I’m more concerned when stuff like this doesn’t happen

My best friend at work got a verbal warning for bringing the company into disrepute at our party I was so proud of her!

 

[Technobiff]

There's a poster who is apparently a vegan, all annoyed that her husband gave her pearls for Christmas.
I'm sitting on my hands desperately trying not to reply about how a lot of women would be pleased to receive a pearl necklace at any time of the year
Must resist...must resist.

 

[House of Tea]

Someone on there just said that there is more of a sense of community on here. I would agree. On MN you occasionally recognise a user name but on here you see the same names and you can have banter.

 

[Cinnabun]

Yeah the "most shocking thing you've read on MN" thread devolved when someone mentioned a post from an OP who enjoyed being choked during sex, then someone else chimed in that the poor OP must have a very traumatic life or very low standards and wasn't REALLY consenting because nobody in their right mind would *tinkly laugh* Then of course a couple of people told her to fuck off trying to police other women's sex lives and a potentially interesting thread just degenerated into a bunfight.

They're now arguing about wearing knickers in bed
---
One of my cats once found a pile of presents I'd wrapped, did a poo on the carpet (which he would normally never do!) and used the wrapping paper and some of the cover off a hardback book to cover it up

 

[justheretoread99]

 

[50degreesnorth]

I’ve got 6 million in my pension fund. If you didn’t buy a coffee on the way to work you could have that too. I also never buy avocados and that’s why I have a mews house.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

I've just logged out and had a look

 

[definitelynotvlad]

snobby twats, what’s Bernard manning got against a premier inn?

 

[Technobiff]

She means smug and toasty.
The smug snob.

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

I dunno mate, I ride a fucking Unicorn I'm that posh (insert tinkly laugh)

Good god that’s so vulgar, just reeks of new money. I myself am quietly wealthy so I ride a 37 year old Welsh cob that has no teeth and is half blind, just to avoid drawing attention to my vast inherited lands and riches.