Mrs Hinch #583 Bigfoot and the Solomons
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Mrs Hinch #500 Sophie Hinchliffe: This is Me; Life in Lists (of Lies) - The Tattle Truths Mrs Hinch - or Sophie Hinchliffe - is without doubt the most talked about person here on Tattle Life. She has twice as many threads as the next highest person. Contrary to what she, or other...
tattle.life
Dogpies dainty size 5s were the talk of the town for much of Sunday night, as was her latest face. Tend best bubs done you dirty Sopha.
It was all very cringeworthy and mean girls, and just got plain weird when Soph started sniffing Trollomans hair.
Despite holding up the queue at McDonald's, the boys were pictured eating takeout pizza. So much for healthy food and 5-a-day ey!
After all the grease of a maccy ds and rubbing her face all over Solomon's hair, it wasn't surprising that she woke up with spots, a cold sore and a boil on Monday morning. The trifecta of poor diet, poor health and being a witch.
She angsted over Ron's nursery updates and planned to bake cakes with Len. The cakes never materialised, but he seemed to have fun washing Ron's bike.
The uncanny valley playroom had netting and sea creatures aptly caught in it installed unsafely on the wall. Netted seafood displayed on a wall is a bit maudlin for a child's bedroom if you ask me.
We all know Soph loves to tell us what she really thinks every now and then. So she invented the character of Tina, dm'd herself as Tina, then whacked on the Gretel filter to tell her character of Tina to piss off. Very professional.
It's not a weekday at Alpacatraz if there isn't a free range camelid wandering through your house. And so the world turns with no one paying her the attention she needs, no article in the sun, no story shares on how she's so quirky omg whatisshelike?!!
More hints about Ron's "invisible needs" and that was Monday.
Tuesday morning she was late for work. Yes, Miss up-at-6-and-working-by-8 was only just starting on her emails at 10am.
Of course, it was a rare child free morning...
https://giphy.com/aTXHpCN7TSpmE
https://giphy.com/l0ExayQDzrI2xOb8A
Sorry, where was I?
Yes it was a rare child free morning so she had lots to do. The only email in her inbox must have been from p&g reminding her to drop hints on the new odour.
Cuntalyptus.
(I don't plagiarise, credit to
@thatsnotstrictlytrue)
So we were subjected to lots of sage green question marks even though the huns have already revealed it all thanks to the soft release anyway.
Then some sort of fever dream of a reel was posted. Emptying out a full lint catcher (despite having the one of the hottest, driest summers on record), onto some foil, in the sink. She then used the lint to mop up something that she had clearly just tipped onto the floor for the purpose of mopping it up. With lint.
She emptied the dryer water condenser into a pot plant. Fair enough.
And no home is now complete with a ~£50 chopping board with drawers and grater attachment. Because why scoop your food from a board into an old lunchbox when you can spend £50 to do it into cheap plastic trays with unhygienic wooden lids?
Lastly we were all invited for a cuppa at
Frankie & Bennies the afterthought of an overdesigned kitchen.
Saint Sopha, first of her name, Queen of Maldonia and keeper of lint has a boil.
Inchworm can barely fit into the f&b booth, nothing to do with his size but more the oversized table squeezed in there.
Mad Ma is always lurking.
Weeping Al has been sent away for repairs.