Mrs Hinch #432 - Liar, liar, lounge set on fire, tend fair day and it was dire!
Winning thread title by @BeyoncéCarter-Knowles
(Thread titles taken from page 40 onwards guyshh! ATV
)
Saturday and Sophie had a cool story to share with us all.
Jamie had abandoned her to go out on his own to a car show with his tend friends the blokes who fitted his garage floor ( see Tattle he does have a life! Ahem...) and despite there being a full house at breakfast with Cling On, Fiddle Fingers and Tracey’s daughter all round, by afternoon Hinch was apparently all alone and decided that she was going to take Ron and Len on the bus to the fair.
Note that Soph has never taken Ron and Len anywhere alone nor does she ever use public transport. Despite this and her anxiteeeee and her worries over the side effects of her meds off she toddled to the bus stop and from there began the string of unbelievable events.
Firstly she was at the wrong bus stop, she rang Jamie to find out why the bus hadn’t turned up because clearly he’s responsible for everything that goes wrong in her life, she went to the right stop and missed the bus by two minutes, she walked back to the original stop that she’d just told us was the wrong one and had to wait 25 minutes. The bus then turned up at the wrong stop and she got on the bus but she couldn’t fold the pram down. No mention of where Len was whilst she was folding the pram down. Then the driver turned out to be Keanu Reeves and she had to cling on for dear life with Ronnie screaming because he was terrified of how fast he was driving. This made Len who must have been in luggage hold start crying and Soph was consoling both of them whilst clinging on...she is clearly half sloth, half octopus.
She got to the fair and sat down on a picnic bench to feed Len but Ronnie ran away to go on the rides, then he had “a full blown tantrum” and people apparently stared at her because they’d never seen a toddler having a tantrum before.
Then she bribed Ron to stay next to her for ten minutes by giving him her iPhone to play with. He then dropped it and the screen smashed despite him being very tiny and the fall being an extremely short one.
She put him on a swing ride but he was confused by the man running it and asked Soph why he was “eating paper” he didn’t but go with it. She explained to us he was rolling a fag. She didn’t tell us what she told Ron.
Then she shared a photo of Ron in a swing seat that her dad aka Tiny Tears had asked her to send, he looked miserable. Big Al replied with an “oh dear”. Not sure why as little Ron always looks sad and he looked no different at all in the swing photo to every other photo she shares.
Then she got some chips but Ron squeezed the ketchup and the whole lid fell off so she had a plate of ketchup but the man gave her some more because she’d run out of money. She’s got £2 million in the bank like.
Then Fiddle Fingers and Cling On inexplicably appeared to rescue her but by the time they appeared Ron wanted to go home. So she went back on the bus and Ron who now hates buses was screaming and crying because he didn’t want to get on. Fiddle Fingers and Cling On then vanished as quickly as they has appeared.
Soph got on the bus and sat down, Ron and Len both started crying, three old ladies started tutting at her. Not sure if they were wearing her Hinch loungewear though because she didn’t confirm.
She felt sad and useless translation I’m just like you, please like me and buy stuff off me so I can move to a mansion.
Then she got off, walked home pushed the pram indoors and she’d wheeled dog tit all the way through the hall and dining room. Again.
Then a unicorn popped its head out of the kitchen and told her that he had cooked them a curry for team he also mentioned that Brad Pitt had called round when she was out to ask why she never went to sit next to him at that awards ceremony.
The end.
Then she made a video reiterating this old crap because she doesn’t know when to stop digging.
Meanwhile Jamie was lording it up at the car show with speshul VIP lanyard which says Mrs Hinch’s witch Boy on it.
Sunday was a quiet day because she was recovering from her traumatic day out, but she did another one of her moans about how Instagram’s algorithm is making small businesses suffer so they should all tag her name so they can advertise her, I mean so she can advertise them..
Monday morning and she and Jamie Brent were up early to tell us how they struggle to get Ron to nursery, put the washing away and answer some emails.
See she’s just a normal mum! Honest!
Then followed an ad for her tesco drawer dividers, another ad for some Chinese sweatshop crap she’s dressed Len in, a bit of the usual “cleaning” pre records of her bins and window ledges, an advert for Next again disguised as being about a new pumpkin casserole dish and a photo Ron’s lunch so she can tell us how much he SMILES on his tapestry photos.
Don’t doubt it hun, he’s away from Castle Greyskull....
She then shared a photo of herself so filtered she looked like a 22 year old Love Island reject whilst showing off her new £175 dress for no apparent reason. You’re kidding nobody Soph, we’ve all seen you unfiltered. Just own your life as a 30 something mum of two and grow the feck up!
Wiki is the pink button at the top for newbies.
Ronnie and Lennie don’t rhyme.
Sophie doesn’t have a second name she added Rose in her teens.
Winning thread title by @BeyoncéCarter-Knowles
(Thread titles taken from page 40 onwards guyshh! ATV
)Saturday and Sophie had a cool story to share with us all.
Jamie had abandoned her to go out on his own to a car show with his tend friends the blokes who fitted his garage floor ( see Tattle he does have a life! Ahem...) and despite there being a full house at breakfast with Cling On, Fiddle Fingers and Tracey’s daughter all round, by afternoon Hinch was apparently all alone and decided that she was going to take Ron and Len on the bus to the fair.
Note that Soph has never taken Ron and Len anywhere alone nor does she ever use public transport. Despite this and her anxiteeeee and her worries over the side effects of her meds off she toddled to the bus stop and from there began the string of unbelievable events.
Firstly she was at the wrong bus stop, she rang Jamie to find out why the bus hadn’t turned up because clearly he’s responsible for everything that goes wrong in her life, she went to the right stop and missed the bus by two minutes, she walked back to the original stop that she’d just told us was the wrong one and had to wait 25 minutes. The bus then turned up at the wrong stop and she got on the bus but she couldn’t fold the pram down. No mention of where Len was whilst she was folding the pram down. Then the driver turned out to be Keanu Reeves and she had to cling on for dear life with Ronnie screaming because he was terrified of how fast he was driving. This made Len who must have been in luggage hold start crying and Soph was consoling both of them whilst clinging on...she is clearly half sloth, half octopus.
She got to the fair and sat down on a picnic bench to feed Len but Ronnie ran away to go on the rides, then he had “a full blown tantrum” and people apparently stared at her because they’d never seen a toddler having a tantrum before.
Then she bribed Ron to stay next to her for ten minutes by giving him her iPhone to play with. He then dropped it and the screen smashed despite him being very tiny and the fall being an extremely short one.
She put him on a swing ride but he was confused by the man running it and asked Soph why he was “eating paper” he didn’t but go with it. She explained to us he was rolling a fag. She didn’t tell us what she told Ron.
Then she shared a photo of Ron in a swing seat that her dad aka Tiny Tears had asked her to send, he looked miserable. Big Al replied with an “oh dear”. Not sure why as little Ron always looks sad and he looked no different at all in the swing photo to every other photo she shares.
Then she got some chips but Ron squeezed the ketchup and the whole lid fell off so she had a plate of ketchup but the man gave her some more because she’d run out of money. She’s got £2 million in the bank like.
Then Fiddle Fingers and Cling On inexplicably appeared to rescue her but by the time they appeared Ron wanted to go home. So she went back on the bus and Ron who now hates buses was screaming and crying because he didn’t want to get on. Fiddle Fingers and Cling On then vanished as quickly as they has appeared.
Soph got on the bus and sat down, Ron and Len both started crying, three old ladies started tutting at her. Not sure if they were wearing her Hinch loungewear though because she didn’t confirm.
She felt sad and useless translation I’m just like you, please like me and buy stuff off me so I can move to a mansion.
Then she got off, walked home pushed the pram indoors and she’d wheeled dog tit all the way through the hall and dining room. Again.
Then a unicorn popped its head out of the kitchen and told her that he had cooked them a curry for team he also mentioned that Brad Pitt had called round when she was out to ask why she never went to sit next to him at that awards ceremony.
The end.
Then she made a video reiterating this old crap because she doesn’t know when to stop digging.
Meanwhile Jamie was lording it up at the car show with speshul VIP lanyard which says Mrs Hinch’s witch Boy on it.
Sunday was a quiet day because she was recovering from her traumatic day out, but she did another one of her moans about how Instagram’s algorithm is making small businesses suffer so they should all tag her name so they can advertise her, I mean so she can advertise them..
Monday morning and she and Jamie Brent were up early to tell us how they struggle to get Ron to nursery, put the washing away and answer some emails.
See she’s just a normal mum! Honest!
Then followed an ad for her tesco drawer dividers, another ad for some Chinese sweatshop crap she’s dressed Len in, a bit of the usual “cleaning” pre records of her bins and window ledges, an advert for Next again disguised as being about a new pumpkin casserole dish and a photo Ron’s lunch so she can tell us how much he SMILES on his tapestry photos.
Don’t doubt it hun, he’s away from Castle Greyskull....
She then shared a photo of herself so filtered she looked like a 22 year old Love Island reject whilst showing off her new £175 dress for no apparent reason. You’re kidding nobody Soph, we’ve all seen you unfiltered. Just own your life as a 30 something mum of two and grow the feck up!
Wiki is the pink button at the top for newbies.
Ronnie and Lennie don’t rhyme.
Sophie doesn’t have a second name she added Rose in her teens.
