Mrs Hinch #272 Reads tattle, getting content for the Gram. No job but send Ron to Nan's

[butterflybaby27]

I seen her before in Home Bargains. Ronnie was down the candle aisle juggling the fake Yankee candles. Jamie was down the gym aisle looking at some new resistance bands whilst simultaneously eyeing up the vests and eyeing up young girls. Soph was wearing a big giant black hat trying to be incognito placing Chunderbland in to innocent peoples trolleys. Henry was tied up outside with Big Freda barking at the pigeons

This might be one of my favourite posts on here, ever. Thank you. I needed the giggle

 

[HereForTheComments456]

So today my kid was watching something gross on telly so I decided to eat my lunch in the kitchen. I pulled up a chair to the counter and it was bloody awkward the counter is just too high. It got me thinking about pa Barker and how they turned his office into an outside kitchen. It literally must be the most uncomfortable place for him work. The worktop would be too high abs he has nowhere to put his legs. And then I thought we haven’t seen or heard about that outside kitchen in a while I bet you any money that kitchen has been sold off. I don’t think it was ever meant to stay there but she couldn’t be seen getting rid of an almost brand new kitchen.

 

[Bogwoppit]

Hopefully the more time she spends off the gram the more people will forget about her, we can only hope

 

[Sparkledust86]

I saw Inch in the clothing department asking a lovely young lady whether they stocked a man baby / yard exercise fusion grey tracksuit

 

[or JusRollWithIt]

I love you guys to the moon and back thanks for the laughs.

I saw Sophie at the Audi dealership. Big Freda was giving her nummies while Inch was overcompensating as he asked for the largest engine possible.

 

[calmyourritas]

Soph was at Tesco this morning stocking up on salad tomatoes she could pretend came from her tomato plant.

 

[Bluebell5]

I said this the other day! She makes so many mums, especially first time mums who don't know any different, feel like absolute tit. I had a child already so I knew the reality but when I had my second, for a small time I was beating myself up because my house wasn't spotless 24/7. I didn't have the energy to do a 'hinch' when my baby slept, I just wanted to sleep. When she says she can't wait for Ronnie to wake up so she can smell him, when he goes to bed she can't wait for the next day to spend another day to him, how she loves food shopping with him because he makes it extra fun even though it takes ages. That's just not reality!! There is nothing wrong with being relieved when your child sleeps, enjoying your quiet, alone time, enjoying shopping alone. I love my kids but I also love shopping alone and their bed time. Our homes are actual homes, we live in them, our kids are allowed to play and make mess and most of us don't run to tidy every crumb behind them because there's more to life than her staged show home. Her house is a stage.

This is just so true and so many first time mums will need to read that. I'm 3 children in now but oh my god, my first at 22 was a complete shock to the system. I'm so grateful social media wasn't quite as prevalent as it is today. I can't imagine waking up from a tit night's sleep, house a mess, baby screaming, can't even make it upstairs for a shower, husband at work cos guess what, that's what us peasants have to do to pay the mortgage.... and then opening Instagram to see her "spotless" house and "perfect" child while she whinges on about how tough it is, how anxious she is and how "we're all just learning guuuyyyzzzzzz"

Oh do get f*cked!!!! She's so damaging!!

 

[mgh727]

I once saw Soph and Ma and Jamie on Maldon prom, Rondog was wrapped up so tight he was in a baby straight jacket essentially, he started stirring a Ma whipped out the calpol straight away to knock him the duck out, Soph said she was thirsty so Jamie trotted off to get her a hot choc but as soon as his back was turned Ma whipped out a titty and Soph was like a heroin addict getting their next fix, she gobbled down on that saggy tit juice like me in a Toby Carvery on a Sunday with the roast tatties (it’s brutally savage, no one needs to see that, I warn all the tables around me not to look directly at me). Jamie returned with a hot chocolate and some monster munch (cos mum always says to bring a snack) and that’s when it happened. The seagulls descended. The ninja Jareth flung into action mode and karate chopped those beady eyed fuckers out of her Soph’s way, not a single monster munch was lost that day. The Mother Freda Barker proved she was the ultimate protector and the boss witch of Maldon prom, the Prom belongs to the Barkers, duck the seagulls.

 

[butterflybaby27]

I think you’re all being unfair taking the piss out of them. Have a heart. Ron & Hen have been running around nonstop, in slow motion all morning as Two Man Team plays over and over again on a loop. Sophie Rose did her bird’s nest hairdo in hopes it would attract some pigeons that could help her fly free but all they’ve done is tit in it. Inch can no longer speak and he spells out everything he wants to say using tea light candles. And to top it all off Jus Roll have refused to do Zoflora flavoured pastry. Be kond, you guyzzzzzz.

 

[Bogwoppit]

I saw them in boozers & mingers, inch was being watched by the security guard as the local druggies wear the same clothes, Hinch was touching everything in sight her mask not covering her nose, Ma was pushing the trolley she shoved some breast pads & nipple cream in there, Ron was whining saying ‘mummazzzz’, Hinch was giving him filthy looks & telling Ma to keep him quiet, she then made the young staff members put red carpet down the cleaning aisle while she flounced up there, she then went to the checkout & demanded she played with the the till, she did for 5 mins then got bored as usual, they then paid & all piled into the Audi they don’t have!

 

[fannysjohnny]

Good luck to her going for walks this weekend
Not seen the weather forecast love!?
45mph winds won’t do her bird nest hair any favours.....they’ll find squirrels and birds hibernating next time she’s goes in for a blow dry...

She won't go out in this,last time she did the squirrels showed her their nuts and ran away.

 

[oczymlody]

Seriously. It’s just time for her to give up the ghost now. I mean really, how many times can people take watching someone clean a sink??? I think she really just needs to step back and realise she’s made a really decent amount in a short time and give up. Like for her own sanity. Imagine standing here creating montages of cutting up jus roll. How can she be arsed!!!!

 

[CheekyCrackerLover]

I saw

Seriously. It’s just time for her to give up the goat now. I mean really, how many times can people take watching someone clean a sink??? I think she really just needs to step back and realise she’s made a really decent amount in a short time and give up. Like for her own sanity. Imagine standing here creating montages of cutting up jus roll. How can she be arsed!!!!

and the same borefest Hinch hauls of absolute crap

 

[oczymlody]

I saw

and the same borefest Hinch hauls of absolute crap

I said goat I meant ghost haha. Yes it’s just an absolute joke. No one needs to see your shopping that we all bleeping do!!!

 

[Mejustme]

I saw them at Lakeside sat on a bench, zoph had a 6ft pile of clothes next to her, Ron was running around naked, zoph was screaming come to mummaazz and get changed again, I've got to get all my pre-records in so I can have Wednesday and the weekend off

 

[SpinachMushroom]

You lot are a magical bunch I hope one of you release a book some day I would buy 10,000 copies from you truth telling pastry trolls

I would buy a copy to place in every room in my house. I’d buy a new coffee table and display it in there. I would then frame the front cover using a frame I’d made myself using garden picked pissy sticks that are luckily so super straight and hang that in every room. Might even add some satsuma peel stars on there and some voodoo dolls fairies. I might even wrap a copy in jus-rol and spin it on a lazy Susan. Then I would do a poll asking what’s better, yazoo or squash.

 

[Johnson1901]

hahaha. I was banned from one of those groups by replying “cook the fucker”!!!

Hahahahahhaahhahahahahahhaahhahaa well played

 

[Moobiemoo]

I saw them in the garden centre. They were walking around a 5000sq ft Wyevale saying isn’t this a lovely little local business. Soph was poking and stroking the animatronic Christmas animals display whilst crying sentimental tears about her own childhood and blocking the view for everyone else’s kids. Ron was sitting patiently in his pram facing the sliding doors. Jamie was outside under a Perspex awning smoking a super kings and offering his special lighter to all the women who walked past. Ma Barker appeared from the food section with a trolley full of eggs and saw Sophie getting snot all over an animatronic polar bear. She took her to the cafe for a jac pot and bitty.

 

[mammaof3]

You are all lying, I saw Grinch at my local library bounce & rhyme session with the other 3-year-olds

She was asking their opinion on her new cleaning/activity book while trying it out herself obv.

 

[Rose28454]

Just cleaned my bathroom and hall used 3 products took 10 mins. It’s sparkling sophie take note