I can relate so much to this. My sons a month older than Ronnie and even though he’s my second and I’m well aware it’s unrealistic/sustainable to“achieve” what shedoes in a day in my circumstances (husband works 6 days a week and I had 2 children under 2) I still felt myself comparing myself to her and feeling like a failure when something was slipping which was usually always the housework. She made me resent housework so much that I feel pure dreads everytime I do it because it’s never going to be “perfect”. I’m slowly learning that it is perfect; my walls may be stained with paint and crayons, my wallpaper may have chunks missing, my washing basket is always overflowing, my living rooms been in the process of being decorated for 6 months now (we’ve got 2 walls done but having 2 young children and unable to get any support with childcare it’s been impossible) it’s been difficult to see her transform every room in her house and garden sometimes twice over, it’s been very hard to see her making these meals from scratch and think she’s the time to montage them all too; but my husband reminded me that unlike her my children have full and unconditional access to me and I meet all their needs, and that he works 6 days a week when I keep them thriving all by myself because I follow the lockdown rules. And while she’s making montages I’m making murals with crayons on my walls. Cause this time will get easier. And I’ll have no regrets cause my children will always be loved, be messy and be free to be children.
Sorry I’ve just gone off on one but if anyone else is on the same boat you’re not alone.
I so agree with this. My friend has four children, she lives in a house that is filled with colour, mess, chaos and fun. She absolutely adores being a mum, has a lovely rambling garden and the kids play out getting muddy, they paint, they make all kinds of mess. Her house isnt dirty, but it isnt spotless and it's a proper family home. One day, soon after I got to know her, I was round her house and we were talking about cleaning windows. Her patio doors were covered in little fingerprints. Turned out that before her 4 kids, she had a daughter who died of meningitis aged 3. The day before she became ill, she had got fingerprints all over the bedroom mirror. My friend said that she was really houseproud at the time and she cleaned those prints off. After what happened next, she wished with all her heart she had left them there. She went on to have the other kids, but rarely cleans the prints off doors and mirrors now, her attitude is the house will be there long after the kids have grown up and left home, plenty of time for cleaning in the future. She stopped being houseproud after her daughters death, all she cares about now is bringing up happy, well adjusted children. I would rather have her than a million hinchers, all putting their Instagram, perfection, shiny sinks and identical grey houses before their kids. I know who gets it right and it isnt the queen of Maldonia.
Mum says a chunder a day keeps the tattle trolls away
This needs to be a thread title!