Mother Pukka - Anna Whitehouse

[Tothemoonandback]

In my own life, the forced flexible working as a result of this pandemic has been amazing. I'm saving literally thousands of pounds annually not having to pay monthly for a travel card and I get two extra hours a day at home that I'd usually spend commuting. I sleep longer, eat healthier as I have more time and get more opportunity to exercise. The company has found productivity has increased dramatically since March so I can't see that my employers will be forcing everyone to return to the 9-5 drudgery that was making everyone ill. It seems so crazy now that the tubes are so packed at key times as we're all going along with this stupid system, rammed in and fitting to the same timetables. I fully appreciate and sympathise that not all jobs can be done remotely or flexibly but for some the benefits can be amazing for *both* employee and employer.

 

[Treesy19]

Totally agree - depends on the industry as to the specific dynamics in which it works or has the capacity to work. I work in data and can do this at home on my work laptop. Granted I don’t wish todo this everyday I will still go in regularly for sanity reasons and training etc. Nobody else in my company does my exact job so nobody “picks up the slack” (Hate that phrase, it’s complete tosh) if I abandon a spreadsheet at 3pm to do school pick up, return and continue whilst my kid goes on his game. My company is very big on flexibility and gives good benefits - as such people stay. For years. Decades in some cases. Ability to be partially remote and flexible retains staff and increases health, productivity, so much more. Parents stay. New mums return to work. I know someone who isn’t a parent, no caring responsibilities either, but just chooses to be part time anyway and works four days. If you don’t ask you will never get. Decent companies listen who have the option of such flexibility. Not all industries can. I agree a surgeon can’t just do one mid op. I can. I don’t apologise for having this flexibility to anyone.

 

[Dogmuck]

Yeah I’m with you @EddieBeds It’s good to hear everyone’s opinion on the flexible working issue. It’s clear it’s not a one size fits all scenario and people take different things from their work.

Anna’s campaign is a start and it has merit but I think the fact she has a “cause” means she’s untouchable. As someone said above, people are assuming she’s some kind of charity worker. She’s not, she has a cause and that cause has opened numerous doors and financial opportunities for her and all her family.

I went back to the start of her Instagram. She was 33 then and her account from the get go is heavily curated. This wasn’t an accidental trip into the world of selling your motherhood. It strikes me that she was just another instamoma reeling out the same old tit, showing arty photos of flat lays and “kicks”, Starbucks coffee cups, need wine/gin/Prosecco, mummy merch and memes about not sleeping. Maybe that was revolutionary 5 years ago

She comes across to me as a very privileged MC white London mum, living the beautiful London life in media. I mean who has the time on their commute to/from work, with their kid in tow, to take arty photos with urban backdrops? Has she always got someone with her to take those photos or does she take a tripod to work?

Also the lovely midwife St Clemmie features heavily in her early posts. Women supporting women...until they come to Tattle and start slating them eh?

I know I sound like some jealous old troll but the truth is I’m just fatigued by this Instagram bullshit. She’s been freelance most of her working life, freelance gives you flexibility but also means you have to make hay while the sunshine’s so it’s a tough one to juggle with kids. Having a regular job gives you maternity benefits you don’t get when you’re working for yourself, I think she’s found this out the hard way given that she was back “at work” two weeks after her youngest was born, that would not happen if you were a salaried employee.

I find her stuff like university politics, she’s jumping from one bandwagon to another and throwing in the odd swear word...how radical.

I know for many women this “mum chat” feels open and honest, many can relate because they have the same thoughts and feelings. This is a generation of bloggers and floggers who see every aspect of life as an opportunity to write/talk about every aspect of “female” life, from periods to miscarriages, from childbirth to PND from crappy nappies to tantrums. That’s not in itself a bad thing and it would be really refreshing if it was just that but what they are actually doing is engaging to reel women in to flog them stuff. That’s not feminism that’s the absolute opposite, it’s taking advantage of women at their most vulnerable.

I know that in the next 5-10 years when these women start experiencing the peri-menopause that they will jump on that too. We will have the “too hot to handle” and “why my husband irritates me” memes. It’s just women selling to women because we have more trust and respect because we all go through these things and we believe they can empathise.

I’d much rather come on here and talk to real “anonymous” people about their experiences knowing they are talking about them and not lining their pockets. THIS is refreshing, real and raw and I personally genuinely appreciate hearing other people’s views and experiences.

 

[powpowpow]

Absolutely! I fully get that flexi work doesn’t work for everyone but it helps a lot of people. I job share with someone. I do 3 days and she does 2. We are flexible with those days and can swap them if one of us needs an specific day off. My husband works from home 2 of the 3 days I work so we only need breakfast and after school clubs 1 day a week. It has made a HUGE difference to our family and we are loyal to our company because they trust us (we work for the same company in different departments/buildings) Obviously with the pandemic things have been very different, but if I’m honest I don’t miss the office. I go to work to get my work done, not to make friends or have a chat with Garret from Accounts. From next week we are doing 1 day each a week at the office and I’m not looking forward to it at all.

But yes, whilst I like Anna I find the time of it all very strange.
She has managed to write 3 books while having massive MH issues, on top of the flex appeal, radio work, influencing, flogging ads, podcasts, general mum and wife and woman duties..

 

[Allthatglitters666]

God I love wfh. No small talk with anyone and everyone. No making 15 cups of tea on a round or having mine made so strong I can stand a spoon up in it. No being constantly disturbed by others. If I want to speak to people I can just teams them. I deffo put a wash on etc but I'm so much more productive and happier.

With regards to MP it was the timing of her departure where lots of other influencers (Rutherfords partner etc) were being shown for who they really were. Was then very convenient to come back just as her book was being released

 

[OhhBacon]

Yeah I’m with you @EddieBeds It’s good to hear everyone’s opinion on the flexible working issue. It’s clear it’s not a one size fits all scenario and people take different things from their work.

Anna’s campaign is a start and it has merit but I think the fact she has a “cause” means she’s untouchable. As someone said above, people are assuming she’s some kind of charity worker. She’s not, she has a cause and that cause has opened numerous doors and financial opportunities for her and all her family.

I know I sound like some jealous old troll but the truth is I’m just fatigued by this Instagram bullshit.

I know for many women this “mum chat” feels open and honest, many can relate because they have the same thoughts and feelings. . That’s not in itself a bad thing and it would be really refreshing if it was just that but what they are actually doing is engaging to reel women in to flog them stuff. That’s not feminism that’s the absolute opposite, it’s taking advantage of women at their most vulnerable.

I’d much rather come on here and talk to real “anonymous” people about their experiences knowing they are talking about them and not lining their pockets. THIS is refreshing, real and raw and I personally genuinely appreciate hearing other people’s views and experiences.

Your post is everything I think, articulated beautifully. I have highlighted particular parts as I couldn’t highlight it all!

I lurk about on here, read more than I post but I am glad this site still has a good volume of traffic. I am sick of the slick influencers using every issue to try to appear just like the girl next door and then flog their followers a load of tat that they don’t need.

I do think Anna is untouchable because of her ‘cause’, I do think there is a lot of work to do around flexible working but the discussion is huge and can we please go wider than the mummy issue. I also think it is currently happening in a very privileged middle class bubble.

Where is the discussion around the Leicester clothing factories and the appalling working conditions happening there? How does flexibility protect low income jobs when it is the boss who has all the flexibility cards and can cancel work on the day?

The lack of understanding of their own privilege of these women, and if Anna’s Financial accounts are accurate then I’ll include her too, is staggering.

 

[Instagram Sham]

I find the whole thing incredibly problematic. Notice that on her book posts she has added a disclaimer.... makes it look like she is being upfront an honest (whilst hiding behind her cause) I.e buying our books and the #ad money allow us to fund flex appeal - what she really means is that it pays their salaries to enable them to not get ‘proper jobs’. They are middle class, upwardly mobile, educated people who feel entitled to earn a certain amount of money and live a certain type of lifestyle - they will only carry on with the charitable cause If they can match/ exceed the amount of money they could make in private sector jobs. Therefore all this charity ‘dogooder’ tit is a bit rich to me - all fine but when these people are then living in very expensive parts of the country in beautiful houses with bifold doors and stokke high chairs etc the reality is that by supporting her you are financing a lovely lifestyle. I’m not expecting people to do stuff for nothing but come on - recognise that you are living a fantastic life off the back of this and the opportunities it brings rather than making out that your doing it out of the kindness of your heart for no return and can only continue to if you are financially supported by people buying into you and your #ads.

The flex appeal stuff whilst I am sure takes up a lot of time is not entirely altruistic - it’s out her name out there and for her a lot of paid gigs and opportunities etc. Because of this it’s only fair they come under scrutiny although I do think just MP handles it quite well out of all of them. Ultimately though another poster hit the nail on the head when they pointed out that this campaign is really only beneficial to those already in privileged positions, think single parents on zero hour contracts have bigger and more pressing issues other than flexible working.
Not that I am doubting her honesty but I also don’t get how you can be diagnosed with early post partum psychosis when your baby is a toddler. The ‘postpartum’ period is very short (6 weeks I believe) and it was my understanding that this condition was most commonly linked with hormonal changes which wouldn’t be so stark when your child is that age - just seems a bit odd to me.

 

[Mbella]

Where is the discussion around the Leicester clothing factories and the appalling working conditions happening there? How does flexibility protect low income jobs when it is the boss who has all the flexibility cards and can cancel work on the day?

The lack of understanding of their own privilege of these women, and if Anna’s Financial accounts are accurate then I’ll include her too, is staggering.

Or maybe they understand only too well. The trouble with talking about Leicester is that then they would have to acknowledge the damage caused by the fast fashion industry, which probably pays a good chunk of their wages.

 

[Dogmuck]

I’m guessing a fair few people here are female and mums (soz @ExhaustedDad) WFH and flexible work is great as we’ve already done the making friends and chatting to our colleagues so don’t feel we need that anymore. As older workers/mums etc our needs and priorities change but I’ll not be convinced that everyone begins work with the sole intention of the daily grind “going to work to work” and hasn’t experienced some form of friendship/camaraderie or base human interaction. Yeah hearing about Shelia in accounts {pantomime mouthing} “women’s problems” or what a genius Sarah’s son is, becomes pretty dull pretty fast, but there’s more to working life than that. Its interesting that people have hung their coats on that one element, that they are beyond work/office gossip or small talk.

Being at work I met people from all walks of life, it exposed me to some great people and also some real dicks. Before work I’d never sat and talked with a Muslim about fasting at Ramadan, to a Hindu about Diwali or a Sikh about Gurdwara. I interacted daily with people from poor backgrounds and people with real family money. I met these people at work, engaged, became friends (made enemies of some) and was invited to weddings and family events which opened new worlds and foods to me. They were amazing and new and really something so special I felt honoured. I believe it helped me to understand people better and I see that as a skill as it allows you to navigate your way through life with real insight rather than accepting the tales you are told or the information that was put out in the media. I honestly believe I’m a more rounded person for those experiences and I’m thankful I had that opportunity.

As a graduate you’re often in a different city from your home/friends or even uni mates, you’re starting from scratch, WFH won’t be conducive to building a social life/ meeting your future partner/ human interaction. My concern is for the younger generation, who already struggle with social aspects of life because they’ve spent far too much time living their life on SM. I think it’s too easy to look at our own personal “current” circumstances and assume that’s what everyone wants. I remember my early working life with fondness, meeting new people, going out, getting to know a different city and basically learning to grow up and manage. I wouldn’t want that now, god no, I don’t want to be arsed with that because I’m sorted for all those things. I don’t want to be packed on to a busy commuter train or stuck in a traffic jam at 7am, I don’t want or need that because I’ve experienced it and I’m done with it, I’ve done my time. However, if you consider your 20s would you really be happy to be WFH every day? I know I personally wouldn’t and I know the current situation is not good for my grown up kids who want their time in the world, who want to be out and not stuck in their apartments/rooms dealing with their work and life through teams and zoom.

As for the effect of the economy, it’s huge, whole cities and industries have grown up based on office work. I’m not talking Starbucks and Pret, who are already sinking, but think about Julie’s Baps, the little sandwich shop who relies on those office workers. All the bars and restaurants, who’s main income isn’t people’s personal cash but the corporate dollar of executive lunches, work events and backdoor deals. All the shops who’s window displays lure us in to buy that new seasons attire for work or going out. The bus drivers, the train drivers, the taxi drivers, the office cleaners, the security guards? They are dying, cities are turning into ghost towns and what will happen to all those people that currently work in those industries, the low paid, low skilled industries? We may all want to WFH because it suits us at a particular point in our lives but what we, but more importantly future generations, will lose is frightening for me.

Sorry to ramble, I really do want to get off the WFH issue and get on to other aspects of MP. I think WFH is a case of horses for courses, some find it brilliant whilst others are struggling.

 

[Mustard]

@Dogmuck excellent post! I’d feel desolate if I was in my twenties and working from home.

 

[Rosieee]

I get your point Dogmuck but I also think that it may be good for the economy to have people living in different places around the country rather then all being in the cities ? It may develop the country side a bit and end the high rent madness in big cities. Sorry I’m not very articulate here and trying to look after the kids at the same time but I don’t think it’s all bad. I do get your point tough that the office is important to socialize.

 

[Dogmuck]

I get your point Dogmuck but I also think that it may be good for the economy to have people living in different places around the country rather then all being in the cities ? It may develop the country side a bit and end the high rent madness in big cities. Sorry I’m not very articulate here and trying to look after the kids at the same time but I don’t think it’s all bad. I do get your point tough that the office is important to socialize.

I agree with you to a certain extent @Rosieee. I hate that London has every opportunity and as a Mancunian (now living in Derbyshire) I see we had plenty there too! I’ve also lived in Birmingham and that’s has plenty of capital injected. For me, if I was put in charge I’d move everything out of London, so Parliament would be in Hull, the film industry in Stoke, Charities in the south west etc etc. I’d leave the queen and the tourist industry in London! I’d basically spread the wealth from the major cities to the smaller ones that have been suffering for decades. However, I now live in the (semi) countryside and duck me they do not want change. Nimbyism is rife, any suggestion of new housing, new development is met with fury. The area I live in is owned by old money, they don’t want the village to change, they don’t support new shops or cafes. The young people have left to find somewhere with some life and we are left with old people and yummy mummies. It’s white, it’s middle class and it’s depressing as duck. The idea of diversity in this area is the local choir singing a Beatles song rather than Bach! I get it’s a very “pleasant” place to live but man the local FB page is “outraged” if there’s youngsters smoking weed on the local fields. I’m almost tempted to get county lines set up for the poor teenagers in this area Im an old bird so don’t need the beat of a city but sweet Jesus Id have died a million deaths as a teen round here!

There was a reason for the industrial revolution, where people left the countryside and moved to the cities, work, better housing, infrastructure. It would take some serious hard work, capital and a complete mindset change to get these places into any kind of beating heart that would draw in new blood or keep the interest of anyone between the age of 14-29

 

[Tothemoonandback]

Isn't the whole point of flexible working that hopefully as many as possible have more of a choice. More flexibility. It's aim is not that everyone be forced to work from home forever whether they like it or not.

If I want to spend two hours and thousands of pounds each day commuting, I can.( Ironically the rail company I pay these thousands to is German owned anyway.)

I really don't want to get less sleep, spend thousands on train fares, far more on childcare to cover the hours I'm sat on a train ... just to support "Julie's babs" in central London.

If Julies babs opens in my little town I'll happily head out and spend money there instead. I'll have more disposable income to spend there too as I'm not paying the train fare and am saving on childcare. Things are going to have to adapt.

I totally appreciate this isn't a one size fits all and that some won't want the same things I want. I just really hope that this forced flexibility that has arisen from the pandemic will continue. As I say, my company was previously extremely anti working from home but has found productivity has increased since people started working from home in March. I'm assuming the increased sleep, increased time for exercise and healthy meals all contributed to those findings. Hopefully the genie is out of the bottle now and there's no going back to the drudgery of life before.

 

[Wolf359]

I don’t know if it needs to be as binary as interact with real human beings in an office every day, or WFH out of your gloomy, isolated bedroom until you die of loneliness.
Isn’t flexible working really just about being able to say to your manager - can I shuffle my schedule around a bit so I can accommodate some important life stuff? - without being penalised for it?

 

[Instagram Sham]

Not quite sure how we have got onto the WFH thing to be honest and just want to point out that it’s a very different concept from Flexible working!
Certainly agree that you can see the flip side too - smaller businesses in my commuter town in Surrey have had a huge increase in footfall because people are going there for lunch rather than pret London will never be desolate....was on Sloane Square yesterday and businesses are busy - people are out shopping and spending money!

 

[Dogmuck]

Ok I could and would respond to all the WFH stuff but it’s personal and not what this thread is about so I think we will have to agree to disagree on that particular issue.

This thread is about MP about if we think she really is a good egg or if we think she’s a highly oiled media machine.

 

[Milliehaha123]

Omg have been waiting for this thread to kick off. Mainly because the number of times I’ve had to read ‘2 children, 5 miscarriages, 1000 days married’ etc etc. Stop flogging your miscarriages to sell your latest book, so tasteless

 

[Tweetlebeetle]

I deleted my tattle account for a while but had to come back to mention this.
There’s a woman in her seventies - Adrienne Boyle who has made it her life’s work to campaign for flexible working. She’s responsible for so many things including job sharing, part time work requests, workplace nurseries and loads more.
Brilliant article about her work here:

How did flexible work turn from a feminist ideal to a trap? | Aeon Essays

Breaking free of the 9-to-5 was originally a feminist project. So how did it become part of oppressive 24/7 work culture?

aeon.co

You’d think that Anna would cite her as a source of inspiration but no.

eta - Working Families has been doing ‘flex appeal’ for 40 years too (with the help of Adrienne Boyle)

Homepage - Working Families

Our members Our employer members are committed to flexible and family-friendly business practices. See a full list of our members.

workingfamilies.org.uk

 

[Tublet83]

I deleted my tattle account for a while but had to come back to mention this.
There’s a woman in her seventies - Adrienne Boyle who has made it her life’s work to campaign for flexible working. She’s responsible for so many things including job sharing, part time work requests, workplace nurseries and loads more.
Brilliant article about her work here:

How did flexible work turn from a feminist ideal to a trap? | Aeon Essays

Breaking free of the 9-to-5 was originally a feminist project. So how did it become part of oppressive 24/7 work culture?

aeon.co

You’d think that Anna would cite her as a source of inspiration but no.

eta - Working Families has been doing ‘flex appeal’ for 40 years too (with the help of Adrienne Boyle)

Homepage - Working Families

Our members Our employer members are committed to flexible and family-friendly business practices. See a full list of our members.

workingfamilies.org.uk

Where’s the women supporting women?

 

[Rosieee]

Women supporting their bank account by exploiting women. That’s more like it.