Mother Pukka - Anna Whitehouse

[Dogmuck]

Are you here yet @Rosieee I got an Uber cba walking!

Right so Hi everyone. Ive come over to this thread from MOD & FOD thread following MPs recent announcement she had PND and PP and had been suffering for the past 3 years. She proclaimed she’d sought help 18 months ago but then got her diagnosis recently.

For any of you neigh sayers our there who may have wondered how someone with such debilitating mental health issues managed to...here we go...write books, go on book tours, lobby government and companies for her flex appeal campaign, run an Instagram account, go to TV awards, create content for Ads, write articles for magazines, present a radio show, run a house and Mother two children (to name but a few of her activities), she’s a high functioning depressive.

So she was signed off work made her announcement about PND & PP and then came back, with what can only be described, literally, as, with Gusto #AD, five minutes later flogging her new book.

Forgive me as I’m new to MP and many have said she’s one of the “better ones” seems open, honest and transparent. From my little searches I see a well oiled media machine who tends to get ahead of the curve and changes up to avoid the criticism most influencers are prone to.

I won’t ramble on anymore but I’m interested to hear peoples views and even open to my current mind set being changed.

 

[ewarwoowar]

The ‘I’ve not danced since I was 12’ is absolute total and utter bullsh1t…..I went to uni with her……she was always on the dance floor trying to be centre of attention!!!

 

[Dogmuck]

I think WFH is doing massive harm to workers and to the economy. People want to see their work colleagues, have some bants, go for a drink after work, nip out to Boots at lunchtime, gossip in the canteen or bogs...interact. Just saying morning to the security guy at the entrance and a quick chat with the cleaner as she’s emptying your bin is all part of the fabric that makes up your working day.

WFH is great if you’ve got kids and childcare is an issue, but for most getting out of the house is a blessing. Having a reason to get up, get showered, put your slap on, your “work clothes” and listening to the radio in your car or reading a book on the bus/train is actually incredibly cathartic for many as it forms the ebb and flow of their life. Yeah we all have those days when an extra hour in bed would be bliss or just slinging on your leggings, not having a shower and spending that two hours you would normally spend getting ready and commuting catching up on Tattle, but ultimately we are, on the whole, creatures of habit and we require physical human interaction.

Of the people I’ve spoken to about WFH some enjoyed it initially but all have said “I’m ready to go back in now”, a little bit like when people are at the end of their holiday. They are fatigued by it.
Imagine being 22 and WFH, I couldn’t have handled that, I loved all those things I mentioned above and have made lifelong friends from work colleagues, you just can’t do that when you’re WFH. My friends kid is just about to start an apprenticeship with one of the big accountants. It would have meant leaving home, a move to a city and going into the office, but now he’s been told it will be remote until at least January. That has really pissed him off, he’s essentially under house arrest, at his parents, for another 5 months, having missed out on the summer of fun after his A levels. Ultimately it’s not good for people’s mental wellbeing.

Flexible working is really only for parents, nobody else has the excuse to work outside of the usually hours, you can’t call in and say, I’ve got a massive hangover this morning so just gonna get a fry up neck some ibuprofen and I’ll check my emails later. Parents can, they call up say little Tommy has a bug and childcare won’t take him so I’ll have to be home and I’ll look at my emails if I get chance, nobody can say anything to them.

I agree Covid has shown that WFH is possible for many who were told it was impossible but I would disagree that the same level of work is getting done. Have any of you had to call your bank, your insurance company in-fact any service industry where a call centre is involved? My experience this last 5 months has been awful. I’ve listened to more plinky plonky hold music in the last 5 months than I have in my entire life. Customer service levels are crap.

So Anna, the instamum, is campaigning for parents and as was previously said, the biggest beneficiaries of any change will be the highly paid professionals not the low paid warehouse workers. So whilst yes her message is a good one, there’s little hope of this across the spectrum and the privileged will yet again be the winners.

 

[Dogmuck]

Yeah I’m with you @EddieBeds It’s good to hear everyone’s opinion on the flexible working issue. It’s clear it’s not a one size fits all scenario and people take different things from their work.

Anna’s campaign is a start and it has merit but I think the fact she has a “cause” means she’s untouchable. As someone said above, people are assuming she’s some kind of charity worker. She’s not, she has a cause and that cause has opened numerous doors and financial opportunities for her and all her family.

I went back to the start of her Instagram. She was 33 then and her account from the get go is heavily curated. This wasn’t an accidental trip into the world of selling your motherhood. It strikes me that she was just another instamoma reeling out the same old shit, showing arty photos of flat lays and “kicks”, Starbucks coffee cups, need wine/gin/Prosecco, mummy merch and memes about not sleeping. Maybe that was revolutionary 5 years ago

She comes across to me as a very privileged MC white London mum, living the beautiful London life in media. I mean who has the time on their commute to/from work, with their kid in tow, to take arty photos with urban backdrops? Has she always got someone with her to take those photos or does she take a tripod to work?

Also the lovely midwife St Clemmie features heavily in her early posts. Women supporting women...until they come to Tattle and start slating them eh?

I know I sound like some jealous old troll but the truth is I’m just fatigued by this Instagram bullshit. She’s been freelance most of her working life, freelance gives you flexibility but also means you have to make hay while the sunshine’s so it’s a tough one to juggle with kids. Having a regular job gives you maternity benefits you don’t get when you’re working for yourself, I think she’s found this out the hard way given that she was back “at work” two weeks after her youngest was born, that would not happen if you were a salaried employee.

I find her stuff like university politics, she’s jumping from one bandwagon to another and throwing in the odd swear word...how radical.

I know for many women this “mum chat” feels open and honest, many can relate because they have the same thoughts and feelings. This is a generation of bloggers and floggers who see every aspect of life as an opportunity to write/talk about every aspect of “female” life, from periods to miscarriages, from childbirth to PND from shitty nappies to tantrums. That’s not in itself a bad thing and it would be really refreshing if it was just that but what they are actually doing is engaging to reel women in to flog them stuff. That’s not feminism that’s the absolute opposite, it’s taking advantage of women at their most vulnerable.

I know that in the next 5-10 years when these women start experiencing the peri-menopause that they will jump on that too. We will have the “too hot to handle” and “why my husband irritates me” memes. It’s just women selling to women because we have more trust and respect because we all go through these things and we believe they can empathise.

I’d much rather come on here and talk to real “anonymous” people about their experiences knowing they are talking about them and not lining their pockets. THIS is refreshing, real and raw and I personally genuinely appreciate hearing other people’s views and experiences.

 

[Wolf359]

It’s very Amanda in season 3 finale of Motherland isn’t it?

 

[Slatternly]

I find the flexible working thing very very irritating. Why shouldn’t you be committed to your job? It’s not the time to be an entitled employee when the current job market is so fragile.

I’m a teacher. I wonder how she’d react if I was her kids teacher and decided to knock off at 11.00am to raise the next generation.

I’m not sure why she sees flexible working as a right. I can’t see how it’s possible for the vast majority of people.

 

[Rosieee]

I don’t think the quality of work that you do is measured by the hours you spend at the office and this is why I live WFH. I honestly think 9-5 is the most stupid thing ever. We all rush at the same time with crazy traffic and overcrowded trains just to get there and leaving at the same time. Like my team have targets for the week, whether they reach their targets in 20 or 40 hours is not my problem. I’m someone who hates small chat and I have a hearing problem so I def don’t spend time at the coffee machine talking to Susan about her week-end. I have friends and when I want to socialize I see them on my free time. someone staying at the office for long hours but spending most of the time chatting is possibly not as efficient someone who worked 4-6 hours straight and went home to do most interesting things ! I have 2 small kids so I like the flexibility but I was thinking the same before kids. The fact that I had to stay in the office until 18 when mentally I had clocked out at 16.00 was so stupid. Last 2 hours of the day online waiting for time to pass. Oh and I was the best performer of my team at the time so definitely not a slacker, just someone who worked best in the morning

 

[Instagram Sham]

So much to say here..... where to start.

I am also a teacher. My school is great with flexible working. I share a form with a member if staff who is a parent too, her kids are older than mine. I work 4 days a week and when my kids start school I intend to do what other working mothers do and ask for 2 mornings a week where I can come in at 9 so I can drop my daughter at school. I’ll share a form with someone doing similar and be in for period 1 as normal. When I want to go to sports days and assemblies, school will give me paid leave to attend those - I’ll set work for my sixth formers and make sure they have understood it in one of the many hours outside of my timetabled lessons where I run intervention sessions for those struggling whilst my kids are at nursery or with grandparents. Why should my daughter go through her school years with mummy or daddy never being able to drop her off? Or us never being able to attend her school functions because we are both working hard to afford the kids the best live we can provide? It’s no skin off anyone else nose, it’s not inconsiderate to anyone else - it’s just making sure that staff feel supported and that my employer values my right to family life. Flexible working doesn’t mean ditching your job as and when you please to inconvenience everyone else - it’s just respecting there is more in people’s lives and allowing them to juggle everything by being supportive. IMO this leads to staff who are happy and more fulfilled, reduced staff turnover which saves a lot of money which we can spend on improving school facilities. People who abuse that.... well, would imagine that their chances of promotion etc are limited so more fool them - dont think their actions should write it off for everyone. I suppose my point is that flexibility will look different for everyone depending on the industry that you work in! Nobody is suggesting a surgeon leave a patient on the table half way through a heart transplant because little Montgomery needs dropping at his trumpet lesson

Flexible working equally is not just for parents at all - I’ve had colleagues who have been to watch centre court at Wimbledon, gone on two week trips with their cheerleading squad, had a couple of days off pre wedding etc - if you don’t ask then you don’t get. Many of these colleagues still work at school and are far more likely to volunteer for additional unpaid stuff on evenings and weekends because they dont feel like the school takes them for a mug!

Secondly, I really like Anna and I am quite disappointed in this latest development. Bottom line is that if you make money from content creation online then you are always having to look for your next angle to exploit, she’s done miscarriage and baby loss, rocky patches in relationships and now it’s post natal depression. Whilst all these things may well have genuinely touched them, monetising it (which they absolutely are) makes it seem disingenuous and means that we will always be fed the highly curated, edited version. Always used to think she handled the #ads well but have to say I’ll be unfollowing now.

 

[Basicbasic]

The biggest problem with Anna, and actually her insta clique and following, is that collectively they represent white supremacy with a very liberal splash of white fragility and extreme priviledge. This priviledge has given her the exposure she's been desperate for her entire life. She feeds off the insecurities of other women, her target market is rich, white women who are equally privileged and fragile. The fact that she can write a book about a 'dark' issue and that issue being the world of social media! It's laughable really.

If she wasn't white, wealthy and extremely privileged there's absolutely no way on earth she'd be shilling a badly written book by Anna and matt farquarson. I don't believe for a second she lost her job due to pregnancy and I know for a fact there was no psychosis or c section shaming. She's shameful and shameless.

 

[Dogmuck]

Anna on secret spenders on channel 5 - telling the family to stop their gusto/ Hello Fresh subscription. The irony that she regular flogs this stuff herself.

The hypocrisy is real!
1.set up IG and expose your children and all your family and become a hun
- do Ads
2. Disown that life
- continue to do Ads
3. Get a cause
- continue to do Ads
4. Use cause to promote yourself
- continue to do Ads
5. Use any female angle to promote yourself
- continue to do Ads
6. Get your husband to write several books about hun issues target huns on platform you’ve disowned
-continue to do Ads
7. Use cause/female issues/IG to get radio slot
- continue to do Ads
8, Use cause/female issues/IG:radio slot to get TV slot about people who have spent money on shit they don’t need that’s been promoted by your Ads
- continue to do Ads

Fuck sake people how is this allowed to happen?

 

[Mbella]

I think a lot of the complaints about flexible working come down to bad management rather than flexible working as a concept. Managers are responsible for ensuring no one takes the piss and non parents don't feel hard done by. Unfortunately bad managers are more common than good ones.

 

[Oliviabob]

The flexible working thing is an interesting one - I found that pre Covid I was one of the more efficient people in my workplace because I worked flexibly; I didn’t hang around chatting or want to go for drinks after work or to nip out to Boots in my lunch break - I was at work to work and get my job done to make the most of my time as I was grateful for the flexibility.

I’ve been happy to work at home as it hasn’t really made a difference to me because of those things.

It’s true flexibility doesn’t apply to all jobs but that doesn’t mean no-one should have it. That’s nonsensical. Also working flexibility doesn’t mean working special hours or coming in late because you have a school thing. Lots of my parent friends are teachers or doctors or nurses or midwives or retail workers; they all work part time and the workforce is better for it as they make a valuable contribution.

You don’t have to be a parent to ask for flexible working; anyone can.

(this doesn’t mean that I agree with everything MP does; just that I think flexible working is an important issue as the generic 9-5 model isn’t necessarily the only way for all jobs)

 

[Wolf359]

That’s an amazing hashtag. Perfect description.

I just need to say something about this and then I'll come back to Ole Pukka, promise.

***

You might have seen in the news this week that a man called Sam Pybus was sentenced to just four and a half years in prison for strangling his girlfriend, Sophie Moss, to death. His defence was that it was part of a rough sex game gone wrong and that she consented. Just like John Broadhurst claimed when he was sentenced to two years for beating and raping Natalie Connolly to death with a spray bleach bottle.

Both men were able to get away with shockingly lenient sentences for murdering these women because they were able to convince a jury of ordinary men and women, like all of us on these boards, that their victims consented to being beaten and strangled.

Why did the juries believe that was a plausible defence? Probably because of mainstream stuff like 50 Shades. And because of 'vanilla shaming'. Nowadays if you don't say you like getting choked, you're ridiculed for being boring. Cardi B even wrote a number one single about loving being made to gag and choke by her partner. Then it gets normalised and then men like Pybus and Broadhurst are able to convince juries that their victims were into it.

Fair play to ya if getting strangled during sex really is your thing (I don't need to hear about it though). But don't be afraid to say if it's not, for fear you get called 'vanilla'. I think we should normalise being vanilla. It is really okay to say you prefer not to be hurt during sex.

***

Back to the Pukkster. I don't think she gives a shit about showing her hypocrisy now. The vulnerable insta-sheep aren't paying her wages any more, she's on Heart and Channel 4 money and she doesn't GAF.

She was actually the most disingenuous of them all in the long run. At least Clemmie was always her authentic awful self.

 

[FrannyGallops]

Flexible working only works in certain industries- health care just can’t function if everyone wants Friday afternoon off to take Johnny swimming- I’ve worked part time since having kidsand I know I’m luck I can do this but when I’m in work I’m there to work -I get pissed off with colleagues who swan in late because they’ve played the system and expect everything to revolve around them with us mugs picking up the pieces
MP saw an opportunity and flew with it- not realising the repercussions

Have to say, I agree. I’ll take the flaming, but it used to piss me off when all my co workers got christmas/summer holidays off coz they had kids- that was their choice so why should I have to plan my work life around that. I don’t particularly feel any different now I actually have kids. I think things should be fair. MP reckons that flexible working will mean people will work twice as hard. Will it fuck. It’ll be the same old twats using it to their advantage while everyone else is left to pick up the slack.

I find the flexible working thing very very irritating. Why shouldn’t you be committed to your job? It’s not the time to be an entitled employee when the current job market is so fragile.

I’m a teacher. I wonder how she’d react if I was her kids teacher and decided to knock off at 11.00am to raise the next generation.

I’m not sure why she sees flexible working as a right. I can’t see how it’s possible for the vast majority of people.

And yes, to this. I made a similar point on the ODs thread. No one in retail, teaching, caring professions or warehouses will be able to use flexible working. It’s for middle class women/men like Anna who work out of an office.

 

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

Meant to add, flexible working/WFH is possible for more people but lots of offices especially have an office culture, which may not suit everyone. An old work colleague used to start 15 minutes later than me and leave 15 mins after so she should drop her daughter to school - made no odds to me or the team, the work got done, but it was made out to be some massive huge problem. It wasn’t, it was 15 minutes! And my whole team has been WFH during the pandemic... and the work has gotten done so clearly there are industries where it can work where historically people have been told no.

 

[Treesy19]

I find the flexible working thing very very irritating. Why shouldn’t you be committed to your job? It’s not the time to be an entitled employee when the current job market is so fragile.

I’m a teacher. I wonder how she’d react if I was her kids teacher and decided to knock off at 11.00am to raise the next generation.

I’m not sure why she sees flexible working as a right. I can’t see how it’s possible for the vast majority of people.

Well no, it can’t fit some careers like yours as a teacher can it. But for millions of others “flexible” can really lift a lot of people; parents and carers.

Meant to add, flexible working/WFH is possible for more people but lots of offices especially have an office culture, which may not suit everyone. An old work colleague used to start 15 minutes later than me and leave 15 mins after so she should drop her daughter to school - made no odds to me or the team, the work got done, but it was made out to be some massive huge problem. It wasn’t, it was 15 minutes! And my whole team has been WFH during the pandemic... and the work has gotten done so clearly there are industries where it can work where historically people have been told no.

See, I arrive later and leave earlier but that is because I reduced my hours specifically to have this flexibility - I earn less as a consequence. My salary reduced obviously, and then I had one middle aged twat comment that I was “leaving early”... when actually I was leaving on time for me, to travel to collect my child before nursery shut. It fucks me off that someone who doesn’t know my contract is commenting on me leaving the building. None of his business.

 

[FrannyGallops]

It is just all the Instagram gang? Surely you’d have other friends there for your 40th? Especially when numbers are limited.

Just came here to say the same. Was that party just for the gram, with hangers on like Dress Like A Mum? Doesn’t she have proper friends away from Instagram?

Tell me you’re stuck in 2016 without telling me you’re stuck in 2016.

 

[Antonina]

Also judging by her own 40th birthday party full of middle class mostly white influencers she should really practice what she preaches.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

So glad tattle exists cos I’m absolutely speechless!

Her generation of Insta mamas were the ones to flog us hyper consumption as a form of liberation from domestic drudgery! Who do they think was ultimately paying for their freebies abroad & #renos, brands didn’t gift it them out of the goodness of their hearts?! Now she’s traipsing the country meeting the human impact of her years long jolly getting everything for free, wtaf?! Are ch4 dumb?!

 

[Slatternly]

BRAVO PUKKA!! The Rosa Parks of the TV world! To claim that seat at the front of the London Meeja bus as a blonde, middle class, privately educated, attractive woman! To come up fighting against such adversity! Yes. You did it. With your 27 demo crusade, 2 hours sleep, 5 wrinkles, 10 gousto meals, 2 kids etc etc

Its quite interesting to compare her self congratulating to kelechi okafur’s tweets today about the NTA.

She really doesn’t know she’s born.