Mother Pukka - Anna Whitehouse

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I think a lot of the complaints about flexible working come down to bad management rather than flexible working as a concept. Managers are responsible for ensuring no one takes the piss and non parents don't feel hard done by. Unfortunately bad managers are more common than good ones.
 
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For any of you neigh sayers our there who may have wondered how someone with such debilitating mental health issues managed to...here we go...write books, go on book tours, lobby government and companies for her flex appeal campaign, run an Instagram account, go to TV awards, create content for Ads, write articles for magazines, present a radio show, run a house and Mother two children (to name but a few of her activities), she’s a high functioning depressive.
bleeping right she must have been a high functioning depressive. I had PND and it poisoned my thinking to the point I could barely function. I just did the basics - cared for the baby and that’s it. Some days I couldn’t even face unloading the dishwasher.

Let me get this straight also (because I haven’t read her statement myself), she said she had puerperal psychosis but was diagnosed retrospectively? Three years later?
 
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Yes as a parent or young children 100% agree with the points above, I do like her more than some of the others, but the book flogging and gusto boxes just rub me up the wrong way.

I respected her when she said she was takkng belated maternity leave, but now it just appears she’s came back with a PND diagnosis to sell her new book... allcomes across really insincere.

Her PR is the same one as as the Saccone Jolys which says it all
 
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I appreciated her openness regarding miscarriage and trying to conceive. I guess the thing about anyone all over radio, TV and podcasts is you end up heading the same phrases and anecdotes. No idea what an “Aberdonian brow” is and felt a bit queasy every time she mentioned congealed tomato sauce in the dishwasher. I used to enjoy the podcast of her radio show with Ellie but they got too silly for my tastes so I unsubscribed.
 
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The flexible working thing is an interesting one - I found that pre Covid I was one of the more efficient people in my workplace because I worked flexibly; I didn’t hang around chatting or want to go for drinks after work or to nip out to Boots in my lunch break - I was at work to work and get my job done to make the most of my time as I was grateful for the flexibility.

I’ve been happy to work at home as it hasn’t really made a difference to me because of those things.

It’s true flexibility doesn’t apply to all jobs but that doesn’t mean no-one should have it. That’s nonsensical. Also working flexibility doesn’t mean working special hours or coming in late because you have a school thing. Lots of my parent friends are teachers or doctors or nurses or midwives or retail workers; they all work part time and the workforce is better for it as they make a valuable contribution.

You don’t have to be a parent to ask for flexible working; anyone can.

(this doesn’t mean that I agree with everything MP does; just that I think flexible working is an important issue as the generic 9-5 model isn’t necessarily the only way for all jobs)
Its funny because several people I know who were WFH due to covid said they were more productive...initially. About a month in they said they would put the washing on, wash the dishes, do housework to relieve the boredom of WFH because they missed those things you don’t. I guess the lesson here is, WFH works for some and not for others.

I understand anyone can ask for flexible working and I don’t believe anyone said nobody should have it. I think my personal experience, and it’s been echoed by @smeatonstar, @Cariad and others, flexible working has always been the domain of the mother/parent and because Employers have been “scared” to challenge parents for fear of legal repercussions they have always held the power. Just for the record I’m a mother of 3 so I’m not a parent hater. However, even I have worked in a team where a mother, who is paid the same (actually more) as the rest of the team but starts work at 9.30 and leaves at 4.30. Everyone else in the team had to work 2 late nights until 7.30 (the nature of the job). She flounced in each morning and made a big deal of leaving...so we all knew her privileged position. She would regularly call in saying her daughter wasn’t well and take the day off. It later transpired the child went to a private school and was in at 8 and left at 4, dropped off and picked up by her grandmother who also had the child when she was on school holiday. It was, for me, a clear case of taking advantage. And as someone else mentioned I’ve also experienced the whole, I need school holidays and Christmas because I have kid(s). Having kids should not be a trump card and it certainly shouldn’t affect other colleagues rights.

As you say though flexibility isn’t about having special hours you can work part time and yes that is valuable. Maybe I wasn’t clear, I do fully endorse flexible working, but I also endorse equality for all employees in all industries and I believe this is what is lacking in the campaign.
 
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I think she is very good at coming across well, as she is clearly academically intelligent etc unlike a lot of other insta mums, but she is still an insta mum who uses social media to grow a brand / make money. I think the focus on flexappeal sometimes leaves people feeling like it is a charity account, none of this is done out of the goodness of her heart (which her company accounts attest to). But like someone said above, she is a player. I messaged her once for clarification on something and received a decent reply, followed by ‘can you please like my last post and share it if you can to help my reach’. Her last post was an ad. She’s just as grabbing as the rest, but goes about it in a much smoother way and for some reason this annoys me more as it feels like she purports to be something she’s not, whereas most are pretty clearly on there for the freebies and ads.
 
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I don’t think the quality of work that you do is measured by the hours you spend at the office and this is why I live WFH. I honestly think 9-5 is the most stupid thing ever. We all rush at the same time with crazy traffic and overcrowded trains just to get there and leaving at the same time. Like my team have targets for the week, whether they reach their targets in 20 or 40 hours is not my problem. I’m someone who hates small chat and I have a hearing problem so I def don’t spend time at the coffee machine talking to Susan about her week-end. I have friends and when I want to socialize I see them on my free time. someone staying at the office for long hours but spending most of the time chatting is possibly not as efficient someone who worked 4-6 hours straight and went home to do most interesting things ! I have 2 small kids so I like the flexibility but I was thinking the same before kids. The fact that I had to stay in the office until 18 when mentally I had clocked out at 16.00 was so stupid. Last 2 hours of the day online waiting for time to pass. Oh and I was the best performer of my team at the time so definitely not a slacker, just someone who worked best in the morning 😂
 
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Hello all 👋

Have jumped over from the SODs thread too! What made my spidey senses tingle (is that the right word/phrase?!) was when everything was being repeated verbatim eg the crisp packet story. I get people can be high functioning while still dealing with complex mental health issues but when the story was repeated word for word it ended up sounding like a contrived sound bite and took away from the crux of the story - that PND can present differently/be crippling etc. The subsequent announcement of the book immediately after this just left me feeling that the timing was off. The gusto ad didn’t help this either - almost like a ‘right I got your attention now I’m back to flogging’ even if that wasn’t the intention.

Previous to this I’d always thought of Anna as one of the more astute insta mums (could take a bit of difference of opinion without crying troll, took onboard feedback/criticism) but actually a lot of the points raised here (looks at @Dogmuck and tips hat) have made me challenge that view. Still not entirely sure which side of the fence I park my backside but can see that the Pukka’s are a well oiled machine.

Also the Flex appeal - I think is brilliant on a level, in that everyone should have the availability of flexible working but I see that it falls short.

It doesn’t deal with those who exploit it/provide employers with a frame work so crap managers can deal with that side of things - as someone else said you’ll get good managers who can see people are taking the piss but you’ll have a lot of others who won’t. As with everything it’s open to be exploited - again it doesn’t acknowledge this. You will have employees who value it and others who will take the piss and use it as a reason to do the least amount of work.

It is also primarily aimed at parents - the promotional videos have sound bites from others but doesn’t fully include them compared to working parents. I’m fortunate that my employer allows me a degree of flexible working now I’m a parent, in that I WFH the majority of the time but I’m not kidding myself as it’s still within the 9-5 normal working bracket. But I couldn’t imagine my colleague who has a dog would be afforded the same or a colleague with a dependant parent etc. It’s down to luck as to how good your manager/employer is.

I can see that levels of work could go up but can also see it could down as we all work/learn differently. Some people thrive in a busy working environment- whether this be bouncing ideas or just the social interaction where as others can thrive working from home. I have a colleague who is desperate to get back into the office as he lives in shared accommodation and is working from his bedroom so feels very trapped. He wants the social interaction of an office and a real change of scenery.

As others have already said flexible working doesn’t apply to all industries either - and also doesn’t apply to all classes of working people either? Add into this that ‘flexible working’ will have different connotations for different people - for some it could be adjusted hours outside the normal 9-5, for others it could be WFH while another person it could simply be the ability to occasionally acknowledge they’re having a bad day (for a myriad of reasons) and need to go home early. It’s such a broad thing trying to be squashed down into something too simple and doesn’t (currently) acknowledge the nuances within it.

Not sure who mentioned it but I did have a friend who worked somewhere they were allowed a ‘hangover/duvet day’ once a quarter. This was her first job post uni so obviously thought she’d won the lottery!

That turned into more of an essay/ramble than I first imagined! But basically I’m enjoying the open discussion MP’s recent posts have raised here.
 
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Yes as a parent or young children 100% agree with the points above, I do like her more than some of the others, but the book flogging and gusto boxes just rub me up the wrong way.

I respected her when she said she was takkng belated maternity leave, but now it just appears she’s came back with a PND diagnosis to sell her new book... allcomes across really insincere.

Her PR is the same one as as the Saccone Jolys which says it all
Are they still with Gleam? I cannot bear that couple. Did you see the documentary Stacey Dooley made with them?
 
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Are they still with Gleam? I cannot bear that couple. Did you see the documentary Stacey Dooley made with them?
Yes along with Mother Pukka. They both use Belle PR, they helped them cover up the cold shower incident when the show was on 🙄
 
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Yes along with Mother Pukka. They both use Belle PR, they helped them cover up the cold shower incident when the show was on 🙄
This still makes my blood boil. Absolutely disgraceful. I cannot believe there were no repercussions. Just goes to show how corrupt our world is. Poor children.
 
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Sorry if this has been mentioned but why is her Mum’s account ending?
Did she post a goodbye? I lost interest stopped following a while ago and her profile is private now, I just checked. The whole Pukka family thing was very cringe-worthy.
 
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Did she post a goodbye? I lost interest stopped following a while ago and her profile is private now, I just checked. The whole Pukka family thing was very cringe-worthy.
She did and said something about their recent loss which sounded sad.
 
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Finally caught up! I’m here from the Sods too, hello fellow Sodsters 👋👋 I agree with a lot here, I quite liked Anna for her refreshing honest style, open to conversation and difference in opinion. I was shocked to hear she had been struggling and do think it’s great that she was open about it. But, as mentioned, timing was not great to then have her book released. The cynic in me, thinks was it a big ploy for publicity. But, she did look emotional and raw in the interview. The crisp packet repetition has dumbed it down a bit and made it seem like a big script. I think a lot of these influencers need to just be up straight and own then fact that basically they are glorified sales people, they aren’t cold calling or knocking on doors, they are getting paid to put up a picture or clip. People get fed up of adverts, which is the joy of Prime Tv, Netflix etc you don’t get the crappy ad breaks. With instagram it all just gets diluted with so many adverts!!
 
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⬆⬆ THIS!
I work with someone who expects time off as a parent for her 17 year old (yep, 17) *every* time there is something going on in his life. I’m all for flexibility where it can be supported but there are instances of taking the piss. He starts 6th form now and she wants time off to take him there on his first day 🙀🙀. It just ends up that she’s only working PT hours but getting paid FT. Whenever we suggest that a mid-teenager doesn’t need quite the full on parental support of a younger child she quotes MP’s flexible working campaign for parents 😡😡

(I’d be happy if she adjusted her hours to do these things but it just ends up that she works much less than she is contracted)
I worked with someone like that and it is infuriating but you can’t let the actions of a few cloud your opinion for the majority. Flexible working is just better for modern life in a lot of cases.
WFH (part time ) has made me more appreciative of my colleagues when I am in the office
 
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I find the flexible working thing very very irritating. Why shouldn’t you be committed to your job? It’s not the time to be an entitled employee when the current job market is so fragile.

I’m a teacher. I wonder how she’d react if I was her kids teacher and decided to knock off at 11.00am to raise the next generation.

I’m not sure why she sees flexible working as a right. I can’t see how it’s possible for the vast majority of people.
Well no, it can’t fit some careers like yours as a teacher can it. But for millions of others “flexible” can really lift a lot of people; parents and carers.

Meant to add, flexible working/WFH is possible for more people but lots of offices especially have an office culture, which may not suit everyone. An old work colleague used to start 15 minutes later than me and leave 15 mins after so she should drop her daughter to school - made no odds to me or the team, the work got done, but it was made out to be some massive huge problem. It wasn’t, it was 15 minutes! And my whole team has been WFH during the pandemic... and the work has gotten done so clearly there are industries where it can work where historically people have been told no.
See, I arrive later and leave earlier but that is because I reduced my hours specifically to have this flexibility - I earn less as a consequence. My salary reduced obviously, and then I had one middle aged twit comment that I was “leaving early”... when actually I was leaving on time for me, to travel to collect my child before nursery shut. It fucks me off that someone who doesn’t know my contract is commenting on me leaving the building. None of his business.
 
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Employers that can offer flexible working will be rewarded with loyalty. Its often said that a woman will "go off" on maternity leave but most of the time they will want to come back. Any employee can leave anytime they want! Part time jobs are hard to find so if you've got one you'll tend to stay, broadly speaking.
I did part time on a trial basis for a year after maternity leave but was then told full time or nothing. I chose nothing! My boss had gone on maternity not long after me and had 2 sets of grandparents to pick up the slack, my mum had to drive from over an hour away to help. Obviously if my baby was sent home from nursery sick there was little choice about it being me who collected him. My husband was self employed and frequently worked away. The job itself was stressful and there was an expectation of long hours and no overtime was paid. Which was ridiculous really, I could have done the evenings if I'd been given TOIL at least! They were really short sighted.
Having said all that I think MotherPukka should slow down a bit and stop putting herself under so much pressure. Go and live somewhere cheaper with an easy commute to London, most stuff can be done from home.
 
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So much to say here..... where to start.

I am also a teacher. My school is great with flexible working. I share a form with a member if staff who is a parent too, her kids are older than mine. I work 4 days a week and when my kids start school I intend to do what other working mothers do and ask for 2 mornings a week where I can come in at 9 so I can drop my daughter at school. I’ll share a form with someone doing similar and be in for period 1 as normal. When I want to go to sports days and assemblies, school will give me paid leave to attend those - I’ll set work for my sixth formers and make sure they have understood it in one of the many hours outside of my timetabled lessons where I run intervention sessions for those struggling whilst my kids are at nursery or with grandparents. Why should my daughter go through her school years with mummy or daddy never being able to drop her off? Or us never being able to attend her school functions because we are both working hard to afford the kids the best live we can provide? It’s no skin off anyone else nose, it’s not inconsiderate to anyone else - it’s just making sure that staff feel supported and that my employer values my right to family life. Flexible working doesn’t mean ditching your job as and when you please to inconvenience everyone else - it’s just respecting there is more in people’s lives and allowing them to juggle everything by being supportive. IMO this leads to staff who are happy and more fulfilled, reduced staff turnover which saves a lot of money which we can spend on improving school facilities. People who abuse that.... 🤷🏻‍♀️ well, would imagine that their chances of promotion etc are limited so more fool them - dont think their actions should write it off for everyone. I suppose my point is that flexibility will look different for everyone depending on the industry that you work in! Nobody is suggesting a surgeon leave a patient on the table half way through a heart transplant because little Montgomery needs dropping at his trumpet lesson 😂

Flexible working equally is not just for parents at all - I’ve had colleagues who have been to watch centre court at Wimbledon, gone on two week trips with their cheerleading squad, had a couple of days off pre wedding etc - if you don’t ask then you don’t get. Many of these colleagues still work at school and are far more likely to volunteer for additional unpaid stuff on evenings and weekends because they dont feel like the school takes them for a mug!

Secondly, I really like Anna and I am quite disappointed in this latest development. Bottom line is that if you make money from content creation online then you are always having to look for your next angle to exploit, she’s done miscarriage and baby loss, rocky patches in relationships and now it’s post natal depression. Whilst all these things may well have genuinely touched them, monetising it (which they absolutely are) makes it seem disingenuous and means that we will always be fed the highly curated, edited version. Always used to think she handled the #ads well but have to say I’ll be unfollowing now.
 
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