Mother in law experiences? Share them! 🤣

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LittleMy

I can’t stand the way my mum obviously favours my firstborn over his brother. It actually sets my teeth on edge. She will not take the youngest overnight, but would gladly keep 5yo. I get that eldest is a dream compared to 3yo who is very rambunctious, but it’s not the point. I can’t stand family who play favourites. It’s been that way all throughout my family and someone always ends up feeling left out.
 
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watermelon sugar

My sisters MIL is like that. Adores the first born because he's quiet and sensible, doesn't really bother with the second born because hes nothing like the first born - loud, adventurous and cheeky! I think it's vile people can do that. MIL's seem to act so strange with the first born.. im gonna make sure I'm not like that
 
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LittleMy

It’s definitely a lesson to all of us on how not to behave if we get to the grandma stage of our lives.
 
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Ladsladslads666

Need to add that she split from her husband and walked out on the family
 
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maytoseptember

Same with MIL. When #2 was born she still concentrated her attention mostly on #1, which was fine, because she was 3 and insanely jealous. I didn’t have an issue with that. But she never stopped favouring #1.

It was a vicious cycle really. She gave #1 all the attention so #2 wasn’t that bothered with her. He also has a quieter, more reserved personality (later discovered he’s autistic) and I don’t think she got the kind of attention and positive feedback from him that she enjoyed with #1.

Then when he was a toddler I’d notice that we’d visit and she’d have presents (tat mostly!) for #1 and nothing for him. I think she justified it by thinking he didn’t need new toys or books (which was true) and that he was too young to notice. But then he got older and she would still lavish #1 with gifts and get #2 one thing if he was lucky. Even this past year, she’s been sending #1 arts and crafts kits via Amazon but nothing for #2. I’ve repeatedly told my husband that he needs to have a word because it’s out of order.
 
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mcfeez

My MIL, and FIL to an extent, are obsessed with money. They have a lot because they don't have a mortgage (inherited their home) and additionally own multiple properties they've inherited from other people passing away. MIL constantly talks about dying and how much she will leave us, its incredibly morbid and something we genuinely don't care about so its odd she keeps talking about it. Husband is always encouraging them to use their money more to travel and do fun things.

She talks constantly behind our backs about how much we earn - I know because one of the people she bitches to is my mother, who ofc tells me everything. She's obsessed with knowing how much we earn and makes remarks to my mother about not telling us when she comes into money because we'll "Bleed her dry" ?! (We literally ask for nothing). They are the sort of people who we all go out to dinner together and they foot the whole bill without being asked and love all the "thank you so muchs" but then bitch to others about how they "got stung" for dinner with the kids.
 
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JLXRD

My MIL is lovely and tbh my only gripe I ever have is when she will act like husband and I are unable of acting like adults

We went on a caravan holiday a few years ago all together and she kept saying ‘make sure you clean the caravan before you go or you won’t get the deposit back’... as if we didn’t know that?

Then we were meant to be eating breakfast together at 9 the next day, she said ‘will you 2 be able to get up for then? Do you want us to call you?’ .... we get up and go to work every single day starting at 9 so I’m fairly certain we would manage?

Then we show up to breakfast at 8.57... she and SIL were about to call us apparently, they thought we must have slept through our alarm?! We were EARLY not even late, I was so mad.

Very petty but lots of little things like this, for example we are moving house tomorrow and on zoom she told us to ‘make sure have packed things before the movers come, you don’t want to be doing it when they get there’

Well OBVIOUSLY?

She doesn’t do it to SIL despite the fact SIL doesn’t work and has a lot less responsibility than me and husband but hey ho.
 
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ChloChlo

I agree.

My second husbands mother was so possessive of our only child together. He already had 5 and I, 2 of a previous relationship. She would often refer to him as her baby when talking to him which may sound petty but it made me sick to my stomach. He was an older man, so she was of my grandmother's generation. She knew her son was physically abusive towards me and would often be in the house and turn a blind ear and a literal deaf ear (she seemed to be selectively deaf but if someone were whispering about money in the next room she would know what they were saying word for word. She was so money orientated). She had a very staunch "stand by your man" attitude where domestic violence was concerned. She used to read those coffee break magazines and was one day scorning over a woman's account of surviving domestic abusive abuse, then barked that such women were weak. She proclaimed any time simular stories or topic of conversation would crop up that because she had chosen to stay married to a man who beat her and was quite frankly very psychologically cruel towards her then everybody else should stay in such relationships. When in reality she barely spent any time with him at all, she was using her son as a surrogate husband - he was the only son and she would set up camp in our living room pissing herself at Mrs Brown's Boys DVDs or watching her own sky dive footage everynight. She did have daughters but they would soon grow tired and be more upfront with her. I would have felt some pity but she was a horrible character and I just couldn't take a warming to her. She was actually intimidating for a 72 year old lady, she looked and spoke like Brick Top. Within days of meeting her she had subliminally insulted my family, I picked the bone infront of her son, she would then behave like a fake rabbit caught in the headlights saying that I had got the wrong end of the stick, or it was a "joke" and I obviously didn't get her humour - she had a habit for insulting me or being a complete arse in general and acting innocent. She looks heavily down on people who have debts or don't own property and will go as far as call them scum (she will never admit in her glory years, she only reason she had nice things was because ex FIL was a vintage villain).

My child with her son she made a massive intrusive fuss off. She protested over his name choice while my son still had the afterbirth on him, I think I have wrote about this particular time in these forums before. She turned up to the hospital when she caught wind I was in labour. I was actually gobsmacked when I came round from all the gas and air, that she really was at the end of the bed. My husband had let her in and it wasn't the drugs, she was actually there in labour. Trying to not let it spoil my bubble, I hadn't said much but inside I was absolutely fuming. She knew my own mother couldn't be there as she was on her death bed (she died of cancer 8 weeks after our son was born) and that was the main reason I'd prefer it if she didn't come, she was told! But no she found her excuses to need direct contact with her son over something yet again probably so mundane at quite an inconvenient time! It annoyed me even more when the midwife said my son looked just like grandma though I will not lie. I'm surprised at how well I held my composure, especially at her suggestion at changing his name because "it will look silly on forms". She treated one of my sons from my previous marriage as a complete outcast, he is disabled. I found it really rude she kept forgetting his name even though one of her biological grandsons (my husbands son!) had the same name! As far as grandmother's go towards him she was great, quite performative, if annoying. She wanted centre stage but was also adamant she didn't want anymore grandchildren. Me and my ex husband discontinued a pregnancy, the insensitive bitch said from nowhere whilst we were in a shop queue that discontinuing the pregnancy was the "kindest thing that ever could have been done for her wallet". It wasn't a joking matter. Nor was her putting condoms in my ex husbands stocking that month.

She wore white at our Vegas wedding. The video footage was unwatchable because of her blubbering like she was at a funeral. She was vile, judgemental and thought she was a cut above every body else. She made everything about her. She would constantly compare me with one of his exes, someone who he had been with briefly 17 years before we even met. She actually seemed obsessed with her! My ex husband had been with several women after her, so it seemed rather bizarre. They weren't even in contact anymore!

Horrible witch.
 
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LittleMy

That’s so bad. You must be seething with her when she does that.

I mean, my mum is good with the presents, she does try to get them both things that they like and equal amounts, she is fair that way. I think I’d have to say something about it if she didn’t. Both my children are on the spectrum (3yo undergoing assessment at the moment). I think perhaps that’s why she doesn’t offer to take them more, but in the case of favouritism, because 5yo will sit nicely and play his tablet or Switch all night and you have to have all eyes on 3yo as he’s into everything and has the attention span of a goldfish, then she would rather take 5yo.

She used to be so smug thinking she was the bloody baby whisperer because she could get 5yo to settle as a baby whenever he had sleepovers if I’d been saying we’d had a rough few nights with teething or whatever. However when she took 3yo overnight as a baby (bearing in mind he was VERY attached to me unlike brother who was so easygoing he would’ve went with a stranger and not bothered) I think she was put out because he wouldn’t settle for her and cried all night. She never took him again until he was 2 after that, and every time he has been challenging she always says “never again.” I don’t even care if she doesn’t offer to take them, I never ask anyone unless I’m desperate but when she takes one without the other, it irritates me because she always takes 5yo as he’s her favourite. She always spoils him when she does have him and laughs when he comes home and screams at me because he wanted to stay with Gran “forever.”

My Gran can be a bit like that with money. Happy to give it if you need it and take all the praise for her charity but will bitch about you to the rest of the family if you don’t pay her back exactly when she expects it, and she knows when everyone in the family gets paid, all the dates. I love her a lot, but omg, she’d drive you crazy.

I think in her case though, it’s because she never had any money of her own (my grandfather was very abusive, used to beat her, lock her in her bedroom and spend all their money on booze and she wasn’t even allowed to work). So she finds it hard to part with it and worries she won’t get it back.
 
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maytoseptember

LittleMy said:
That’s so bad. You must be seething with her when she does that.
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I do seethe, because it feels like she loves him a bit less because she doesn’t know how to connect with him. Like he gets punished (unconsciously, I’m sure) because she doesn’t get enough out of him. And considering he’s autistic, that’s bloody unfair.

Ironically, my daughter is also heading for an autism diagnosis, but her presentation is very different and she’s much more social.
 
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watermelon sugar

My MIL sings the teletubbies theme tune
Says YABBA YABBA
Goes HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Heard him laugh at the number four once so she goes 'FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR'

on facetime. Everyday. Sometimes twice a day

(Yes I can walk out the room but I can hear it the other side of the flat too)
 
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LittleMy

Oh my god, I feel for you

I’d probably ignore her calls if it was me tbh.
 
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StrawberryCream

Your MIL sounds like my mum, she wants to video call my daughter constantly and will send me random pictures everyday of birds in her garden or a bus and say ‘show this to ...’ I just send her the big thumbs up back on messenger or ignore her my MIL is actually normal and doesn’t annoy us like my own mum
 
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maytoseptember

watermelon sugar said:
Heard him laugh at the number four once so she goes 'FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR FOUR'
Click to expand...
That’s hilarious. My MIL definitely would have done something like that too.

Lockdown is so shit for grandparents. It feels like my children barely have a connection with either set anymore, and that’s so upsetting. But that’s no excuse to yell FOUR FOUR FOUR on FaceTime
 
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Hopping12

My mother in law- is truly fucking awful I don’t even know where to start
I’m not married but been with my partner since we were teenagers aged 15... half our life we’ve spent together

just a few;

1- when we were younger my dad had bowel cancer I was 16, it wasn’t looking good at the time I didn’t know just how bad things were. Anyway about 2 days before he had major surgery, I stayed over their house (we lived opposite each other) and my other half and his dad popped to the shop. I was left with his mum (her dad was diagnosed with a brain Tumour 3 weeks after my dad- she never really saw her dad but obviously was still upset and worried) his mum looked at me and said “your dad is probably gonna get better and mine wont I don’t think- how’s that right?”
There was an awkward 5 minutes silence and then they they got back from the shop.

that’s one thing I’ll never forget. I was a kid and already scared and worried.

2- she hated her daughter so much to the point she said to me once she wouldn’t care if she dropped down dead. It got to the point where she made up so much shit about how badly her daughters partner treated their son who was a baby at the time to random people in the pub (she was a full on alcoholic) that someone reported her to social services.... turned out to be her but gave my name so I got all the blame for that when I hadn’t done anything wrong. Neither had her daughter, who clearly loved her son. Don’t get me wrong my partners sister was a witch aswell but she was in no way hurting her baby neither was her partner. Didn’t speak to the family for 7 years. Called me a fat cunt- I’d just had a baby yet now she’s so over weight she’s having to lose nearly 10 stone for her hip replacement... karma

3- made it clear when I was pregnant that she didn’t want any granddaughters only grandsons- so imagine her disappointment that I’ve only got girls. She hates girls loves boys. Despite all she did to her daughter she favours her son so much over the other grandchildren. My girls are treated so much differently to the other grandchildren.
money Easter only our eldest was born then she was About 4, her 3 other grandchildren got Easter eggs and a fancy dress costume each. My daughter got a multipack bag of mini cheddars. Birthday cards are like 2-3 weeks late. Never rings to see how they are, only time We hear from them is when my partner phones them.

When my eldest was born my mum was so excited they passed each other in the hospital and my mum went over to say hi and she pushed my mum out the way and went “move I’ve got a granddaughter to get to” she’s an absolute Witch

I can’t stop now I’m on a role there’s so much feels good to let it all out
 
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NorthernLass

He is now as sees how much it bothers me & i know he only wants me to be happy...
They live right beside us so its not as easy to not have her visit,we live in countryside so i can go out for walks & feel like i get away from living so close to each other.

She does mean well yes & it very kind & good natured but this situation is just bit too much,yes i do think she is trying to find where she slots in all this,hope so too thanks
 
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lemonlime

My granny was like that with us, always favoured the eldest (my cousin) over my brother who is the youngest. Believe you me, it stays with him to this day and he's a grown arse man. Obviously he's not bitter about it anymore but children always know when affection is insincere or distant.

Is it bad that I want to slap her a little bit I'd be so overwhelmed, loud people set me off so bad, I don6 know how you put up with it omg
 
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