Mother in law experiences? Share them! 🤣

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I live with mine and have done for 4 years now. She is so incredibly infuriating for a million and one different reasons. She barely speaks English because she has a brain tumour which has impacted her memory so she only speaks her first language. She can understand English still but she is deaf and refuses to wear hearing aids. So it is very difficult to communicate with her or get her to understand anything. Mixed with mental illness paranoid schizophrenia and dementia. She is incredibly difficult to live with. For a couple of years she thought she had a demon possess her and would often scream at it. Or imagine my husband screaming and she would rush up at 3am to save him.
Since working from home she keeps walking in on important work meetings which has caused problems with work. Senior managers were unhappy because she doesn't walk in and watch, she will shout at me to eat or drink tea. This has interrupted SO many meetings. She doesn't understand why it is wrong. She won't stop. She hasn't stopped despite being told 100 times and work threatening me with warnings. Even my son tries to stop her barging in and it breaks my heart when I see how patient he is with his Nan. He tells her about his day and she will be in her own world half the time.
She is the sweetest woman and would do anything for us but not particularly receptive to new ideas. I have to eat rice or I'll be hungry despite eating a 3 course meal. Everything has to be her way. She is a complete pain whenever I clean the kitchen as in wipe the counters, hoover, mop etc.
My husband's solution is for me to clean when she is in bed at night. This drives me CRAZY because I want to do things on my own time. I work full time whilst juggling being a mum. I cook 95% of the time. Clean probably 70%. But I can't just get on with what I want to.
If I start cooking as soon as I finish work, she tells me to relax and sit down. If I sit down and watch tv for a bit, she will tell me to go cook. When I'm cooking she will tell me there is something wrong with the meal or the water has evaporated but it is absolutely fine.

I never seem to get a break from her. She is very very hard work and it isn't her fault entirely. But she won't ever give us a break either because my SILs (all 4 of them) won't look after her or invite her to their homes. We are very much just left with her.

*sorry I feel like I went on a rant and I needed to get it off my chest.*
 
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My not-mother in law (not married) sent our kitten a Christmas card 😭

we’ve not seen them in a year now, I miss them so much.
 
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Mil and I get on fine. Fil comes across as a typical alpha male and it appears that she is the downtrodden partner. Wrong. She always gets her own way and is very selfish.
Appearances can be deceptive.
 
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My MIL is just so jealous of any relationship my partner has had . . Hes an only child and I'm sure she helped in destroying his previous long term relationships.
I recently damaged my knee, she was aware of this but has not once asked how it is, we were there before Christmas and she came through from the kitchen with 1 of those heat patches, walked straight past me and plonked it on my partners knee ( his knee injury was years ago) he pointed this out to her and said "she" is more in need of that than me!! *awkward* I refused it.
She also stops listening to anything I'm saying if anyone else remotely in earshot starts talking . . I pointed out how rude she is recently. . Oh carry on then she said, no, you're alright, you weren't interested the 1st time round, why would you be now!!
I really cannot stand her!!
 
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Mine is lovely but can be annoying and very interfering. Treats my bf like he’s a baby even though he’s a fully grown adult.

It’s my birthday on Sunday and she said to him if I’m not seeing my Mum and Dad do I want to go round there? I’m not seeing mine because of bloody lockdown obviously if I was gonna spend anytime with anyone it would be my own parents. She doesn’t think lockdown applies to her and it pisses me off.
 
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It’s my birthday on Sunday and she said to him if I’m not seeing my Mum and Dad do I want to go round there? I’m not seeing mine because of bloody lockdown obviously if I was gonna spend anytime with anyone it would be my own parents. She doesn’t think lockdown applies to her and it pisses me off.
My mil is the same, thinks cos we live round the corner and we have her grandson we're gonna break lockdown rules for her
 
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My mother in law has literally done EVERYTHING for my other half, he's never had to lift a finger. Some examples:
- changed his sheets weekly (NEVER asked him to do it himself)
- put his clothes away for him
- made his bed daily
- opened his curtains and windows daily
- made every meal for him to the point he doesn't even know how to fry an egg at 24 years old
- picked his pants up off the floor rather than telling him to stop being such a lazy slob.

She says she never minded doing it and doesn't know why I get frustrated by it. I get frustrated by it because your son now expects the same treatment off me!! I'm a partner, not a mother and I don't want to mother your bleeping man child. Perhaps if you'd have taught him to do things for himself he wouldn't expect me to be doing them for him!! Why do some Mums baby their boys? Then expect the girlfriends to take over and start doing it?! Frustrates me so much!!!
 
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My mother in law has literally done EVERYTHING for my other half, he's never had to lift a finger. Some examples:
- changed his sheets weekly (NEVER asked him to do it himself)
- put his clothes away for him
- made his bed daily
- opened his curtains and windows daily
- made every meal for him to the point he doesn't even know how to fry an egg at 24 years old
- picked his pants up off the floor rather than telling him to stop being such a lazy slob.

She says she never minded doing it and doesn't know why I get frustrated by it. I get frustrated by it because your son now expects the same treatment off me!! I'm a partner, not a mother and I don't want to mother your bleeping man child. Perhaps if you'd have taught him to do things for himself he wouldn't expect me to be doing them for him!! Why do some Mums baby their boys? Then expect the girlfriends to take over and start doing it?! Frustrates me so much!!!
I know someone like this but he has managed to find girlfriends who are happy to do this stuff for him 🙄 his wife moans to me about how little he does but when I tell her that he needs to pull his weight she always replies with "i dont mind doing it really" well why moan then 🙄 she asked him to make her a nice meal for their anniversary one year as they couldn't get a babysitter so he went to Morrisons and got a hot cooked chicken and a ready made salad and just plated it up at home 😳
 
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My mother in law has literally done EVERYTHING for my other half, he's never had to lift a finger. Some examples:
- changed his sheets weekly (NEVER asked him to do it himself)
- put his clothes away for him
- made his bed daily
- opened his curtains and windows daily
- made every meal for him to the point he doesn't even know how to fry an egg at 24 years old
- picked his pants up off the floor rather than telling him to stop being such a lazy slob.

She says she never minded doing it and doesn't know why I get frustrated by it. I get frustrated by it because your son now expects the same treatment off me!! I'm a partner, not a mother and I don't want to mother your bleeping man child. Perhaps if you'd have taught him to do things for himself he wouldn't expect me to be doing them for him!! Why do some Mums baby their boys? Then expect the girlfriends to take over and start doing it?! Frustrates me so much!!!
I feel your pain. My husband was the same ...it makes life harder when one of you is expected to do more chores than the other. Tell him you are not doing it , start as you mean to go on
 
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I know someone like this but he has managed to find girlfriends who are happy to do this stuff for him 🙄 his wife moans to me about how little he does but when I tell her that he needs to pull his weight she always replies with "i dont mind doing it really" well why moan then 🙄 she asked him to make her a nice meal for their anniversary one year as they couldn't get a babysitter so he went to Morrisons and got a hot cooked chicken and a ready made salad and just plated it up at home 😳
Omg I'd be so annoyed!
I never understand women who are happy to be a slave to their man! Not for me, thank you! It frustrates me so much that my MIL has literally trained her son to be lazy because she ran around after him so much! He used to leave his dinner plate on the arm of the sofa and go back upstairs once finished and she'd come in and collect it and put it in the sink(we were 16 when we met). I soon kicked him out of that habit!!

She once said to me "When you and my son get a home together you best have his dinner on the table for when he gets home from work each night like a wife should"....... Errrrrrrr for 1, I work full time too! and 2, what's wrong with him making his own dinner occasionally!
 
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I think there has been similar threads to this.
I don’t have mil as my boyfriends mum passed away when he was 2. It always makes me feel sad for him but he says he don’t know any different and he doesn’t have any memories of her.
My ex’s mum is a person I never want to see again and if I did I don’t really know how I would react...I think I would just laugh in her face for the way she treated me and supported her son. She must be proud to have brought up a son who is a compulsive liar and domestic abuser!

I think there has been similar threads to this.
I don’t have mil as my boyfriends mum passed away when he was 2. It always makes me feel sad for him but he says he don’t know any different and he doesn’t have any memories of her.
My ex’s mum is a person I never want to see again and if I did I don’t really know how I would react...I think I would just laugh in her face for the way she treated me and supported her son. She must be
 
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Omg I'd be so annoyed!
I never understand women who are happy to be a slave to their man! Not for me, thank you! It frustrates me so much that my MIL has literally trained her son to be lazy because she ran around after him so much! He used to leave his dinner plate on the arm of the sofa and go back upstairs once finished and she'd come in and collect it and put it in the sink(we were 16 when we met). I soon kicked him out of that habit!!

She once said to me "When you and my son get a home together you best have his dinner on the table for when he gets home from work each night like a wife should"....... Errrrrrrr for 1, I work full time too! and 2, what's wrong with him making his own dinner occasionally!
Did you reply with, “I hadn’t realised we’d been transported back to the 1930’s “.

I mean honestly what a load of crap.
 
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My ex was one of those. Total mummy’s boy who couldn’t do a thing for himself. We lasted one year living together before I chucked him because he was a lazy, alcoholic slob and he exacerbated my mental health issues to the point where I didn’t even want to come home from work and even contemplated suicide.

My husband is very self-reliant. He’s had to be, to be fair, as MIL is also an alcoholic and he was basically the parent. He lived on his own before we met unlike my ex, and although his standards aren’t as high as mine when it comes to cleanliness, he will still make an effort most days. Which is good, because I wouldn’t be doing it for him.

I don’t understand this whole thing with mothers babying their sons. Mine did it with my younger brother and I doubt if he even knows how to work a washing machine. I have sons with additional needs, and while they are still very young and do tend to need more help in doing things due to their individual capabilities, I try to promote independence where possible. They pick up after themselves (usually with a lot of prompting), they put their rubbish in the bin, laundry in the basket, and clean up any spills without me asking. They’re 3 and 5. Start as you mean to go on.
 
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Omg I'd be so annoyed!
I never understand women who are happy to be a slave to their man! Not for me, thank you! It frustrates me so much that my MIL has literally trained her son to be lazy because she ran around after him so much! He used to leave his dinner plate on the arm of the sofa and go back upstairs once finished and she'd come in and collect it and put it in the sink(we were 16 when we met). I soon kicked him out of that habit!!

She once said to me "When you and my son get a home together you best have his dinner on the table for when he gets home from work each night like a wife should"....... Errrrrrrr for 1, I work full time too! and 2, what's wrong with him making his own dinner occasionally!
Oh god I definitely feel your pain! I just can't get my head around why she doesnt/hasn't pulled him up on it. Particularly now when she is working from home 5 days a week, plus homeschooling their child and is getting stressed about housework and cooking etc and he swans in from his Monday-Friday 9am-5pm job and expects tea on the table and then sits and plays on his xbox all night 🙄 he messaged my husband and asked how he was getting on with a game they both got for Xmas and my husband replied he hadn't had much chance to play it yet and he replied he had finished it and couldn't understand why he didn't have time!! Ermmm because he is actually helps me out?!?!

Sorry this has turned into more of a rant about my friend 🙈
 
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I had my baby boy in December & my MIL is driving me around the bend..When i was is hospital she did not even ring or text me to congratulate me on birth of her grandchild only the morning i was been let out of hospital she sent text i found that very strange.She is been very overbearing & always wanting to take our son over to her house can i take him is all i hear...It makes me so upset because i dont want to be away from him as most mothers dont from there newborns.Stupid things like will ask my hubby when am i going food shopping & then proceed to come over and ask me when i am going...That week previous he had off running temps over vaccinations & i was shattered and last thing i was going to do was leave him for the sake of bread & milk when we had enough food & yet she knew that & still came over...Feel like im at the end of my tether with her,Even yesterday again she say if you need go shopping i will take him,the more she does this the more i pull away.
It doesnt help i dont live near my family or friends they have only saw our son twice & that was last year.My hubby & I are divided on this matter but this morning say might be worth having a word with her.
A comment was made to me last few days from her sure you never want to leave him,somethings you should not say to new moms & this is one of them.
Anyone else go through this & how did you handle it ?
 
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I had my baby boy in December & my MIL is driving me around the bend..When i was is hospital she did not even ring or text me to congratulate me on birth of her grandchild only the morning i was been let out of hospital she sent text i found that very strange.She is been very overbearing & always wanting to take our son over to her house can i take him is all i hear...It makes me so upset because i dont want to be away from him as most mothers dont from there newborns.Stupid things like will ask my hubby when am i going food shopping & then proceed to come over and ask me when i am going...That week previous he had off running temps over vaccinations & i was shattered and last thing i was going to do was leave him for the sake of bread & milk when we had enough food & yet she knew that & still came over...Feel like im at the end of my tether with her,Even yesterday again she say if you need go shopping i will take him,the more she does this the more i pull away.
It doesnt help i dont live near my family or friends they have only saw our son twice & that was last year.My hubby & I are divided on this matter but this morning say might be worth having a word with her.
A comment was made to me last few days from her sure you never want to leave him,somethings you should not say to new moms & this is one of them.
Anyone else go through this & how did you handle it ?
Tell her to duck off.

In all seriousness though, your OH should be in your corner over this. Grandparents of newborns can be overbearing (in my case it was my mum not MIL). Set boundaries. You don’t have to scream at her, but be firm in your resolve and tell her you want some space to bond with your baby and will call if needed.

Also, use Covid as an excuse if you have to. She shouldn’t be visiting anyway unless you’re in a support bubble.
 
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We're not married yet but if my partner's mum had her way we wouldn't be getting married at all! We live 90 miles apart and he still lives with her. She's very dependent on him. We got engaged on holiday 2 years ago after being friends for 10 years and together for 6. She went absolutely ballistic, told him he was being stupid, ruining his life etc. She refused to acknowledge it despite all her friends being very happy for us and supportive. She still doesn't mention it and I think she hopes that it will never happen (it probably won't in her lifetime if she gets her way) The silliest thing though is that she apparently does like me, and tells all her friends how lovely I am. She's even been nice to my face on the few times we have met. I just think she sees me as a threat who is going to take her son away.
 
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I had my baby boy in December & my MIL is driving me around the bend..When i was is hospital she did not even ring or text me to congratulate me on birth of her grandchild only the morning i was been let out of hospital she sent text i found that very strange.She is been very overbearing & always wanting to take our son over to her house can i take him is all i hear...It makes me so upset because i dont want to be away from him as most mothers dont from there newborns.Stupid things like will ask my hubby when am i going food shopping & then proceed to come over and ask me when i am going...That week previous he had off running temps over vaccinations & i was shattered and last thing i was going to do was leave him for the sake of bread & milk when we had enough food & yet she knew that & still came over...Feel like im at the end of my tether with her,Even yesterday again she say if you need go shopping i will take him,the more she does this the more i pull away.
It doesnt help i dont live near my family or friends they have only saw our son twice & that was last year.My hubby & I are divided on this matter but this morning say might be worth having a word with her.
A comment was made to me last few days from her sure you never want to leave him,somethings you should not say to new moms & this is one of them.
Anyone else go through this & how did you handle it ?
Yes I had all of this too! Stand your ground. He’s your baby, you are his mum and you do what is best for you both. If you don’t want to leave him or for him to go to your MIL’s house, then that’s your decision as you are in charge. I know it’s frustrating but your MIL probably means well. I do think MIL’s just forget what it’s like for new mums and do think more about themselves. Have a word with your husband and say you appreciate his mums support but it’s a bit too much and that you need his support in setting boundaries. Maybe ask your MIL if she could go shopping for you instead and say that would be a real help. Sometimes grandparents etc struggle to find their place. Hopefully things will get better, don’t feel pushed into being away from your baby when you don’t want to be, you and he come first.
 
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