Any update?Nothing yet. Social worker back on Monday so Iāmit will all be sorted early next week #prayforme
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Did anyone elseās relationship with MIL change completely after having kids? Wow I was not prepared.
Iāve got a young baby, her first grandchild. She was a nightmare in pregnancy but I put it down to excitement. She bought a pram- for herselfā¦. And loads of toys etc for her house. I found it a bit weird but, selfishly, the in laws helped us a fair bit financially buying baby stuff so I let it slide as was super grateful.
now baby is here she texts nearly every day pretending she wants to do social stuff with me , clearly she doesnāt, she wants to see the baby which is OK but just be honest. I donāt want to be her friend so I say Iām busy most of the time but relented last week and we went to a pub. Well I nearly lost it with her; she took the baby off me when the baby was crying (!!) and wandered off with her round the pub, shushing her and making a huge fuss like it was her baby. Sheās just a total bunny boiler who thinks this is her opportunity to have another baby. Sheās bought a cot for her house and a frigging Ā£120 high chair (we donāt even have one yet, baby is 3 months old!!!!!!!)
Iāve told hubby he needs to take some responsibility and take baby to see his parents solo! Then they will leave me alone a bit.
feel really stuck as Iāll need to go back to work after mat leave and sheās retired and has offered to have baby whilst I work part time but the thought breaks my heart, plus I know she will totally spoil baby and not in a good way. But canāt financially work out how to pay for nursery etc. All a big dilemma.
Iāve got a young baby, her first grandchild. She was a nightmare in pregnancy but I put it down to excitement. She bought a pram- for herselfā¦. And loads of toys etc for her house. I found it a bit weird but, selfishly, the in laws helped us a fair bit financially buying baby stuff so I let it slide as was super grateful.
now baby is here she texts nearly every day pretending she wants to do social stuff with me , clearly she doesnāt, she wants to see the baby which is OK but just be honest. I donāt want to be her friend so I say Iām busy most of the time but relented last week and we went to a pub. Well I nearly lost it with her; she took the baby off me when the baby was crying (!!) and wandered off with her round the pub, shushing her and making a huge fuss like it was her baby. Sheās just a total bunny boiler who thinks this is her opportunity to have another baby. Sheās bought a cot for her house and a frigging Ā£120 high chair (we donāt even have one yet, baby is 3 months old!!!!!!!)
Iāve told hubby he needs to take some responsibility and take baby to see his parents solo! Then they will leave me alone a bit.
feel really stuck as Iāll need to go back to work after mat leave and sheās retired and has offered to have baby whilst I work part time but the thought breaks my heart, plus I know she will totally spoil baby and not in a good way. But canāt financially work out how to pay for nursery etc. All a big dilemma.
My MIL was like this, took baby off me as soon as she's seen us, so over bearing, when we started weaning I was doing BLW and he was quite happy feeding himself, but she would insist on spoon feeding even does it now and he's almost 3! Lol. I basically stopped going over there, let my partner deal with it. Used time for myself for a break and it for a lot easier as baby got older. She would do everything differently to me and still does, compares everything to when her son was a baby, buys us (huge) toys we Never asked for. I was in a tiny new build and had no room for stuff so I just insisted she kept it at hers or took it and let him play for a while then sold on fb market place... now she will have him one day a week while I work and so will my mum. Nursery costs us almost 800 for 3 days so im very grateful to both sets of grandparents and they have a lovely bond with our son from being so involved. My partner works away for weeks at a time so I really do need the support.
I wasnāt prepared either. My MIL genuinely seemed to lose her mind, and it lasted YEARS. Loud, suffocating, over bearing, needing to be āfun grandmaā for every single second of their visits. It drove me insane. I couldnāt cope with the sensory overload, let alone the baby
It came from a place of love but holy tit, our relationship suffered for quite a long time because I hated spending time with her.
If itās any consolation, she stopped when her golden grandchild got older and basically told her to shut up and stop singing all the time.
Yes, my first child was born in June, by September we werenāt speaking. My son is 10 now & I still canāt be around her.
when I was about 16 weeks pregnant we brought our mothers out for the first time ever & on the drive home she said āI wonāt ever interfere but Iāll expect grandmothers rightsā Iāve no idea what prompted her to say it as weād had a great relationship up to that. She ignored me for my whole pregnancy unless we called to visit her, never once asked how I was, it was all about baby, I was just this thing carrying her grandchild. They declined an invite to see their newborn firstgrandchild in the hospital but the day we were due home they rang to see what time weād be home & we discovered they were already in the car & closer to our house than we were. They decided to drive around the block to give us a chance to settle but we barely got a minute in our house with the baby before they arrived in on top of us. The baby was so hysterical from being photographed & pulled around that I had to take him upstairs.
she then started knocking to show us random toys that she had bought for her house that my son was a couple of years off being able to use. She became so suffocating in the first few weeks, coming when weād just put him in his crib for the night & waiting for the slightest eye twitch to scoop him up for selfies, my husband had to have words with her. I was nothing but nice & made sure to include her but she would then break down crying to my husband behind my back saying I dislike her. Toxic tit stirrer, all she cared about was taking a few photos to show off to work colleagues & then would leave straight away once she had what she needed.
Itās her loss though, weāve a 2yo now & she barely knows her. Our weekends are busy with family time & activities for our eldest & my husband just doesnāt have the same free time he once had for visiting her. She saw our youngest 5 times in her first year & then Covid hit.
It makes me so sad for my husband, the kids donāt know any different, heād do anything for us all to be close but thereās no going back when someone canāt see theyāre in the wrong.
Did you know your MIL was really overbearing before you got married? Its never too late to go your own way you know and get a divorce. You sound very unhappy with your MIL and your husband.It sounds like we have a similar MIL, or partner
My FIL was lovely though. He passed away a couple of years ago and I really hope he is 'resting in peace' now because he got precious little of it for the fifty something years he was married to her.
I'd say to anyone who doesn't like their partners family then don't marry them or get too involved because if the MIL/Family are bad now then they will get even worse. People on here are worth so much more than being abused by nasty in laws etc.
I feel for you because this sounds exactly what I got with the MIL #1
Iāve been reading this thread for weeks but couldnāt totally relate as I have a toxic mother.. not mother in law. Or so I though 
Iām pregnant with her first granddaughter and sheās overbearing. Thankfully she lives 200 miles away so I barely have to see her but my partners fully informed me of her antics in the past so I guess Iām not surprised.
She came to stay a few weekends ago, the day before we went to IKEA to look at cots. Chose the one we like. All good right? Nope.
She comes to stay the following day, sits showing me a bright pink cot ( really not our style , and she knows weād already chose one) thatās extortionately priced, near Ā£500 I simply explained weād chose one, and she snaps āI wasnāt going to buy it anywayā. (Good because she owes us money from months ago which she borrowed and is heavily in debt herself so wouldnāt expect her to.) she didnāt speak to me the rest of the weekend at all, except a ābyeā on her departure but She often gets āfunnyā sometimes so didnāt really think much of it.
Partner got a text today basically slagging me off, going on about how Iām ungrateful, not appreciative etc. Thereās not doubt sheād slagged me off even worse to others from the way sheās slagged people off to my partner and myself before (not that we take much notice tbh)
My pregnancy hormones donāt help I guess but I am fuming. My partner doesnāt understand so much why.
Iām pregnant with her first granddaughter and sheās overbearing. Thankfully she lives 200 miles away so I barely have to see her but my partners fully informed me of her antics in the past so I guess Iām not surprised.
She came to stay a few weekends ago, the day before we went to IKEA to look at cots. Chose the one we like. All good right? Nope.
She comes to stay the following day, sits showing me a bright pink cot ( really not our style , and she knows weād already chose one) thatās extortionately priced, near Ā£500 I simply explained weād chose one, and she snaps āI wasnāt going to buy it anywayā. (Good because she owes us money from months ago which she borrowed and is heavily in debt herself so wouldnāt expect her to.) she didnāt speak to me the rest of the weekend at all, except a ābyeā on her departure but She often gets āfunnyā sometimes so didnāt really think much of it.
Partner got a text today basically slagging me off, going on about how Iām ungrateful, not appreciative etc. Thereās not doubt sheād slagged me off even worse to others from the way sheās slagged people off to my partner and myself before (not that we take much notice tbh)
My pregnancy hormones donāt help I guess but I am fuming. My partner doesnāt understand so much why.
Did you reply with, āwhat do you mean, whatās wrong with my current figure?ā. bleeping cow!
If a person is and out and out witch IME it tends to be because they are very jealous.Did you reply with, āwhat do you mean, whatās wrong with my current figure?ā. bleeping cow!
Sounds like mine! She was obsessed with buying things for her house as if she has joint custody. Sheās got 3 stair gates, car seat, cot, high chair, pram and more toys than you could possibly imagine. She also doesnāt mention these things before hand, just buys them and we only find out when she asks my husband to install the various bits. At Christmas my son loved a tractor my mum bought him, the next week we went over and the exact same tractor was at her house. Part of me thinks itās lovely, the other part of me think sheās a bunny boiler trying to play mum. Itās all very odd.
I totally get it. Itās hard as other people would just say āaww how niceā or āat least she cares/ is involvedā and yes to an extent of course itās nice they are around. BUT doesnāt stop it feeling like a massive invasion! Glad itās not just me x
Just reading some of the mil turning into horrors once youāve had their grandchild stories and it brought back memories of mine. How can seemingly normal, nice ladies that youāve gotten on with really well turn absolutely mental once you get pregnant. Mine ruined my early days with my son. I was constantly anxious about being around her as she was so overbearing and in my personal space. She used to make my blood boil. Our relationship was very strained for a long time and I can only just about bare her now. I used to feel a lot of guilt for fobbing her off so much and making excuses not to see her but it makes me quite angry now, I wish Iād have just told her straight. When I had my second my boundaries were set out far more clearly and she had no choice than to just accept it. When will they learn that itās your baby and your rules and to stay out of your personal space, let your daughter in laws come to you! Theyāve had their time with their babies so let us have our time with ours! Sorry for the rant but it pisses me off. Stay strong mums! Donāt let them relive their youth and pretend your baby is theirs 
She caught me so off guard I didnāt know how to react.Did you reply with, āwhat do you mean, whatās wrong with my current figure?ā. bleeping cow!
Now I spend lots of time telling her getting your āpre baby bodyā back is not a thing because your body has birthed a baby and itās different now. She ignores me.
omg this last time! My MIL was holding my little boy when he was a newborn and she said something like āoh mummyās here. Oh silly me Iām granny not mummy. Not that you have a clue anyway. You donāt know who mummy isāJust reading some of the mil turning into horrors once youāve had their grandchild stories and it brought back memories of mine. How can seemingly normal, nice ladies that youāve gotten on with really well turn absolutely mental once you get pregnant. Mine ruined my early days with my son. I was constantly anxious about being around her as she was so overbearing and in my personal space. She used to make my blood boil. Our relationship was very strained for a long time and I can only just about bare her now. I used to feel a lot of guilt for fobbing her off so much and making excuses not to see her but it makes me quite angry now, I wish Iād have just told her straight. When I had my second my boundaries were set out far more clearly and she had no choice than to just accept it. When will they learn that itās your baby and your rules and to stay out of your personal space, let your daughter in laws come to you! Theyāve had their time with their babies so let us have our time with ours! Sorry for the rant but it pisses me off. Stay strong mums! Donāt let them relive their youth and pretend your baby is theirs
Omg I have experienced my MIL calling herself Mummy to my son as well 
it's actually the weirdest thing ever. She randomly goes 'come to Mummy' 'aww... Mummy' when hes with her. And im like 
I'm sure she thinks she's his Mum sometimes
My other moan about her now is that she'd rather get rattled by her new fella than bother with her Grandchild. She used to be all over us like a bad rash now I dont get any phonecalls or texts. She cancelled on us last minute last week cos he wanted to see her and the other day I was in hers and went the toilet, her fella rang and she went into the garden and locked my son in the room by himself while she went on the phone!!! Luckily I was only gone a couple minutes. I was fuming, silly witch. Hes only 16 months old.
By all means get your dick but leave me and son out of it
it's actually the weirdest thing ever. She randomly goes 'come to Mummy' 'aww... Mummy' when hes with her. And im like I'm sure she thinks she's his Mum sometimes My other moan about her now is that she'd rather get rattled by her new fella than bother with her Grandchild. She used to be all over us like a bad rash now I dont get any phonecalls or texts. She cancelled on us last minute last week cos he wanted to see her and the other day I was in hers and went the toilet, her fella rang and she went into the garden and locked my son in the room by himself while she went on the phone!!! Luckily I was only gone a couple minutes. I was fuming, silly witch. Hes only 16 months old.
By all means get your dick but leave me and son out of it
Why cant she talk to her boyfriend in front of a toddler? Sounds a bit suspicious/off.
A good friend's mother was in the room as she gave birth, along with my friend's husband, and insisted on being the first to hold the baby after it had been checked over! That is bloody unforgiveable in my book (and not surprisingly, my friend is still really upset about it). Sadly, she got worse as time went on - so bad, that my friend left her husband over it (he just could not see things from her perspective).
I think with some MILs (and mothers of adult women), the arrival of a grandchild gives them the opportunity to step forward and be the centre of attention ... if they're that way inclined. Or maybe they see it as their way of righting the wrongs they made with raising their own children?
Another friend's mother used to do all the heavy lifting in terms of babysitting, whereas her MiL was never available to do such things and would witch about the kids' other grandmother constantly; her MiL frequently told anyone who would listen (including the kids, who would parrot the sentiment) that she was the "cool granny" - she had a lovely little Audi convertible that the kids would love going out in, and was always quick to offer to host parties (but would never do the organising or cleaning up). As the kids grew up, they saw her for what she was.
I think with some MILs (and mothers of adult women), the arrival of a grandchild gives them the opportunity to step forward and be the centre of attention ... if they're that way inclined. Or maybe they see it as their way of righting the wrongs they made with raising their own children?
Another friend's mother used to do all the heavy lifting in terms of babysitting, whereas her MiL was never available to do such things and would witch about the kids' other grandmother constantly; her MiL frequently told anyone who would listen (including the kids, who would parrot the sentiment) that she was the "cool granny" - she had a lovely little Audi convertible that the kids would love going out in, and was always quick to offer to host parties (but would never do the organising or cleaning up). As the kids grew up, they saw her for what she was.
Sexy phone talk probably
Nah sheās coming to stay for a full week soon and I cannot deal with it. My partners words are āsheās just trying to be helpfulā and doesnāt see the disrespect of her message because āitās nothing as bad as what your own mother has ever doneā lmao what. This pregnancy is high risk and Iām at risk of preterm labour as it is. An entire week 
itās not even like I can escape as Iām still working from home!
itās not even like I can escape as Iām still working from home!I've no Idea, she runs out the room whenever he rings. Even in front of a toddler
OMG.
I thought it was bad that my FIL took it upon himself to call the hospital the morning I gave birth, check the visiting hours, and set off early so heād be the first to see the baby.
Just imagine - third degree tear, epidural, trip to theatre to have undercarriage put back together. Spend some time in recovery then down to the ward. Literally minutes after being wheeled down, FIL wanders in complaining that no one knew who I was and where I was. Yes, because I literally hadnāt even been admitted to the postnatal ward FFS.
I was shell shocked and utterly traumatised and he was the last person on earth I wanted to see at that moment. But he was SO determined to trump all the other grandparents (including his own wife who was at work
) he didnāt tell my husband he was on his way (because the reply would have been āhold your bleeping horses weāre not ready for you yetā). Then he sent husband away to the canteen and just sat silently at the end of my bed.Iāll never forgive him for that and it was nearly ten years ago. He still occasionally boasts that he held my daughter before MIL did.
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